Monday, 31 May 2021

A : She’s Empty




 

Apart from assorted snarls and hisses,

Count Dracula never actually speaks to anyone

other than Jonathan Harker throughout the entire film.

 

 

Although Christopher Lee's performance as The Count

is considered to be quite cold and aloof

he actually smiles amicably during his conversation with Jonathan Harker when he comments upon their mutual appreciation of each other

 

Harker for enjoying the solitude The Castle has to offer,

and Dracula, for finding "such a distinguished scholar"

to catalogue his library of books. 

 

 Of course, in this version, Harker is LYING to him,

and has come there to Castle Dracula

and tricked his way into His Home

via subterfuge to KILL him —

 

There’s  A Universal Lesson here, I feel…. 

 

Dracula's smile is hard to distinguish because he is seen

at a distance in long shot and in profile. 

 

This is the only friendly smile Lee's Dracula ever makes

in his many Hammer performances as the Count.

 

 

 

 

 

 
There is a mysterious and silent nun in the corner of The Room
 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

Hello?

Did somebody send you?

 

Sorry, no offence,

but I'm really not A Believer.

 

Jack : 

Zoe?

 

DOOR OPENS

 

Jack :

Sorry, I didn't mean to...

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing : 

Oh, Jack. Hello.

 

Sorry, I was...

I was dreaming.

Please, come in.

 

Jack :

Thanks.

Sorry if I startled you.

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

No, no, you didn't. Ugh.

Try again, I'm incredibly bored.

 

HE CHUCKLES

 

Jack :

I didn't bring any grapes or anything.

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

I hate grapes.

 

Jack :

In that case,

You're Welcome.

 

SHE LAUGHS

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

It's very kind of you 

to come and see your old mentor.

 

Is it, Jack?

 

Is it kind?

 

*****

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

Oh, Jack.

You were my star pupil.

 

I only suggested you for the donor programme 

so you could get some easy money,

get you through college.

 

I never thought Dracula

would actually come back.

 

Nobody did.

 

Jack :

So...

What do you think...

..about Lucy?

 

Van Helsing :

It's possible.

Could be him.

 

Jack :

Dracula chooses his victims 

for a reason.

 

Van Helsing :

Is there anything...

special about her?

 

Jack :

I Love Her.

 

But she's a

Perfectly Ordinary Girl.

 

Van Helsing :

She can't be.

Because if it is Dracula...

What keeps him coming back for more?

 

 

Lucy Westenra is lying at home on her bed, texting.

SHE TYPES

 

Lucy Westenra :

Hello?

Who's down there?

Is that you?

 

UNDEAD CHILD:

Peekaboo.

 

SHE GASPS

 

UNDEAD CHILD:

Peekaboo.

Bloofer lady.

Peekaboo.

 

Dracula :

May I come in?

 

UNDEAD CHILD:

Peekaboo.

 

Dracula :

Please avert your eyes - I, um...

...I have to murder a child.

 

As we used to say in Vladivostok.

 

BLOOD SPATTERING

 

CHILD SCREAMS

 

Lucy Westenra :

I'm ill.

 

Dracula :

Well, not ill, precisely.

 

Lucy Westenra :

Look at my face.

 

Dracula :

So, so beautiful.

 

Lucy Westenra :

I'm as white as a sheet.

 

Dracula : 

As the last unprinted snow.

 

Lucy Westenra :

Am I dying?

 

Dracula :

You're mortal.

You've been dying since the day you were born.

 

SHE SIGHS

 

Dracula :

My People have A Saying,

"One should always speed a parting guest."

 

BLOOD GUSHING

 

KNOCK ON DOOR

 

Meg Westenra,

Mother to Lucy :

How are you feeling, love?

 

FLY BUZZES

 

Meg Westenra,

Mother to Lucy :

Just going to make some tea.

Want some?

 

I'll bring you a cuppa.

 

You stay there!

You need to keep your strength up.

 

FLY BUZZING

 

 

Lucy Westenra’s Ghost,

Screaming Internally :

Help me!

 

Help me!

 

Help me!

 

Help me!

 

 

Dracula’s Ghost

in The Mirror :

Shh.

 

Hush, Lucy, you're mine now.

You've nothing left to fear.

 

You won't be long in your grave.

 

Your mind screams aloud, but for now,

your body must be silent.

 

 

Vicar :

In the midst of life, we

are in death.

 

Of whom may we seek for succour but of Thee, O Lord,

who for our sins art justly displeased?

 

Yet, O Lord, God most holy...

 

 

MUFFLED SCREAMS

 

..deliver us not into the bitter

pains of eternal death.

 

MUSIC:

Angels by Robbie Williams

 

# I sit and wait

# Does an angel

# Contemplate my fate?

# And do they know

# The places where we go

# When we're grey and old? #

 

 

No! No!

 

MUFFLED

 

Help me!

 

MUFFLED WHIMPERS

 

Come on.

 

# And through it all

# She offers me protection

# A lot of love and affection

# Whether I'm right or wrong... #

 

SHE SCREAMS

 

It's like...I can hear her.

I can feel her crying for me.

 

SHE SCREAMS

 

Lucy Westenra’s Ghost,

Screaming Internally :

Help! Help!

 

BANGING

 

Orderley :

Hello?

 

CLANGING

 

Orderley :

Hello, is someone there?

Is someone here?

 

Did someone open The Furnace?

It's not supposed to be open yet.

 

Lucy Westenra :

Did you...

 

..put me...

 

Orderley :

What...?

 

Lucy Westenra :

..in The Fire?

 

 

Kind of His Job, dear.

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

I'll be with you in a moment.

 

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

Where am I?

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

That is not The Question, Zoe.

I may call you Zoe, mayn't I?

 

The Question is -

"What are Dracula's Limitations?"

 

So, we know three things :

 

He cannot enter an abode

without an invitation.

 

He cannot stand in The Sunlight.

 

And he fears, above all things,

The Sight of The Cross.

 

But you see, we are wrong.

 

These Three Things must be One Thing, 

much tidier.

 

God is Always Tidy.

Well, according to His own account.

Oh, do stop hanging your mouth open like that.

 

Dracula drank My Blood, 

and You drank His.


Blood is Lives.

 

What's left of Mine is in Him,

and now also in You.

 

As he promised, 

I have travelled to The New World in his veins.

 

There are an awful lot of people in Dracula's blood, 

but I suppose my DNA syncs with yours.

 

Oh, what a useful vocabulary I now have!

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

Who are you?

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

It's perfectly obvious Who I Am.

 

So, What Does Dracula Fear?

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

I don't know.

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

What does he want, then?

 

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

I don't know.

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

Yes, you do.

 

He returned to feed on Lucy Westenra

time and time again.

 

Well, he could feed off anyone in London, 

anyone in The World.

 

Why return to one Perfectly Ordinary Girl

night after night?

 

Because she’s NOT "a Perfectly Ordinary Girl" :

She’s EMPTY.

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

Who are you?

 

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

Who do I look like?

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

Me.

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

Correct! 

Now, think, think, think — 

 

What Does He Want, 

and 

What Does He Fear?

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

I don't know. I don't care.

It's not my problem any more.


 Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

I am Inside Your Head.

I feel your Guilt.

 

Your Foundation, 

it was funded by...

Oh, I can't see it.

You don't like to think about it, do you?

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

Wherever that money came from,

I did Good with it.

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

For many years, yes.

 

But you also brought Dracula Back to Life with it,

so he's still very much 

Your Problem, 

and 

You Know That.

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

What can I do?

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

Poor child —

As Our Lord said that night in Gethsemane,

"The Spirit is Willing,

but The Flesh is Weak."

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

Tell me Who You Are.

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

I am The Spirit.

And you are The Flesh.

 

The Darkness of Dracula

shall guide us to The Light.

 

Dr. Zoe Helsing :

I'm Dying. I'm Dead.

 

Sister Agatha Van Helsing :

But I am Sister Agatha Van Helsing

of the St Mary's convent, Budapest,

and neither of us are quite done yet.

 

HE SIGHS

 

PHONE BUZZES

 

Van Helsing :

I need you to pick me up from the hospital.

I'm...discharging myself.

 

 

Dr. Jack Seward :

Zoe, you're dying.

 

Van Helsing :

Well, don't take too long, then.

 

LUCY: 

Beautiful.

Beautiful lady.

Bloofer lady.

 

 

Frank Renfield :

So, Master, in conclusion,

I feel we should continue to consider The Harker Foundation

an active personal threat.

 

Dracula :

HE SNIFFS

'62, I think.

Accountant.

 

Frank Renfield :

We shall, of course, continue to monitor their activities

using agents local to the area, some discreet hacking...

 

DOORBELL BUZZES

..and your suggestion...bats.

 

Can I just...?

 

Van Helsing : 

You don't look very surprised.

 

Dracula :

You don't look very dead.

 

Van Helsing : 

I'm getting there.

 

Finding you wasn't difficult.

A Man of your Breeding and Ego

is temperamentally incapable of hiding.

 

One just looks for 

an unnecessarily tall building,

multiple exits

and 

no view of a church.

 

Also, your number's listed.


 D. grabs young Dr. Seward by the throat, and hoists him up into the air, gleefully inspecting his neck —


Dracula :

How kind of you bringing a bottle to the party.

Very inferior vintage.

But the gesture is appreciated.

 

Van Helsing : 

Put him down. 

 

 Dracula :

Why?

 

Van Helsing : 

This is England.

Conversation precedes Dinner.

 

HE CHUCKLES

 Dracula :

Quite right, Dr Helsing.

 

Van Helsing : 

You're expecting company.

 

Dracula : 

Yes.

 

Van Helsing : 

Lucy Westenra?


 Dracula :

Ah, you know her?

 

Van Helsing : 

Well, this is Dr Seward.

It was his phone you stole.

 

 Dr. Jack Seward :

You might say I introduced you.


 Dracula :

Ah! And now she's dead.

HE CHUCKLES

 

Van Helsing : 

If you're expecting Lucy to rise from the grave this evening, Count Dracula,

you might be interested to know that she was cremated.

Dracula :

Cremated?

But I told her, I warned her...

..and still she let them

put her in The Fire?

 

Van Helsing : 

Apparently.

 

 Dracula :

No, no, no, you don't understand.

She would have been conscious the whole time.

Her flesh melting, every cell carbonised, every particle of her being incinerated!

 

Stings a bit, I believe.

 

DOORBELL BUZZES

 

There. You see?

You have underestimated the resilience of the vampire.

 

DOORBELL BUZZES IMPATIENTLY

Ah!

 

I've always liked a lively one.

 

Um, Dr Seward...

She was your friend, was she?

 

 

Yes.

 

Now might be a good time to reflect that beauty...

..is only skin deep.

 

DOORBELL BUZZES

 

Van Helsing : 

Brave Heart, Jack.

Remember, it is The Soul, 

not The Aspect, that one loves.

 

 

 

Dr Helsing, you don't sound quite yourself.

Are you all right?

 

Perfectly.

 

LUCY: 

Hello, you.

 

Did you have much Trouble finding the place?

 

I can always sniff you out, babe.

 

Jack!

Oh, Jack, what are you doing here?

 

Oh! And who's this?

Finally he brings someone.

 

A bit pale, though,

if you don't mind me saying.

 

SHE GASPS

Did you start without me?

 

Van Helsing : 

I'm not on the menu.

I'm an old friend.

 

We go way back.

 

Why are you just standing there, Jack?

 

Kiss me.

Kiss me, Jack.

Kiss me.

 

Lucy, no.

 

Come on, Jack, kiss me like you used to.

Kiss me.

 

Kiss The Girl, Dr Seward.

Journeys end in lovers meeting.

 

What's wrong, Jack?

You can't look at me now?

 

The boy who looks at me all day, every day.

Can't you look now?

 

What's the matter, Jack?

 

Lucy, can't you see yourself?

 

Of course I can see myself.

Bloofer lady.

Bloofer lady!

 

Everyone... 

Everyone smiles when you're beautiful.

Why aren't you smiling, Jack?

 

Van Helsing : 

If you're so beautiful, Lucy...

...why don't you take a selfie?

 

You smell funny.

 

She's Dying.

Beware the bitter bouquet, Lucy.

 

The Blood of The Dying

is Death to The Vampire.

 

LUCY SNIFFS

 

You smell of Death.

 

 

 

Van Helsing : 

It's not just me.

 

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

 

SHE SCREAMS

No, no, no!

 

My Patient, Dr Seward.

 

SHE SOBS

My Patient.

 

No, no...

 

Lucy, my love, it's the shock.

It's the shock.

 

But you've done so well.

You've done so well!

 

Look at me!

 

I see you, bloofer lady.

 

Will I always be like this?

 

Yes. Promise. Always.

 

But I was beautiful.

 

Beauty is never more than a disguise, Lucy, 

you've outgrown it.

 

I don't want to. I don't want to!

 

Listen, listen.

SHE SOBS

 

Shh, shh.

 

Shh, listen to me. Listen.

 

Listen to me!

 

SHE CONTINUES WAILING

 

Listen!

 

CHOKES BACK TEARS

 

You're my finest bride yet.

In 500 years, you were the only one

who willingly opened up her veins.

 

You knew what was happening.

You embraced it. You accepted it.

 

Now you can live forever.

 

 

 

 

 

Like this?

 

SHE SCREAMS

 

Look at me!

 

I don't mind.

 

Oh, don't you? No.

 

Well, I do! I mind!

 

SHE WAILS

 

SHE WHIMPERS

 

Lucy.

 

Kiss me.

 

SHE WHIMPERS

 

No, no...

 

HE SCOFFS

 

You don't...

 

You don't want to kiss me...

 

..like this.

 

Lucy Westenra, there has never been

a day I didn't want to kiss you.

 

And there never will be.

 

Oh, Jack.

 

Oh, Jack.

 

DRAMATIC MUSIC

 

Do it.

 

Do it. Do it.

 

For me.

 

Do it for me.

 

SHE SCREAMS

 

STAKE CLATTERS TO GROUND

 

HE SOBS

 

She was my most promising experiment.

 

Took me 500 years to make a bride this good.

Now look what you've done.

 

She was never yours.

Or mine.

Or anyone's.

 

Well, I suppose she died well.

That's a rare quality,

you can take it from me.

 

Van Helsing : 

Quality, or flavour?

 

Ah...flavour.

Very particular.

In my experience...unique.

 

She almost seemed

in Love with Death.

 

Van Helsing :

That's it. That is everything.

 

And that's why her.

Jack, you must go.

 

I can't leave you.

 

Van Helsing : 

I'm about to have a personal

conversation with Count Dracula.

 

And I'm certain he won't want it witnessed.

 

Why not? 

 

Because there's only one thing in This World 

that you're truly afraid of,

and finally I know what it is.

 

I-I don't.

 

I know you don't.

 

Dr Seward, you may leave.

Get out. 

 

Dr Helsing...

No. I can't just...

 

 

Van Helsing :

Jack, if you want to throw your life away

in some act of selfless heroism,

there will be other opportunities.

 

It's going to be a beautiful day.

 

Thank you.

 

Dracula :

Well?

How did it taste?

 

Van Helsing : 

How did what taste?

 

HE CHUCKLES

 

Dracula :

Dr Helsing,

I think you drank my blood.

 

HE SCREAMS

 

 

Van Helsing :

It's 93 million miles away.

It really isn't going to hurt you.

 

 

DRACULA :

I don't understand.

 

Van Helsing :

I have very few breaths left to

explain, so don't interrupt.

 

Consider Count Dracula,

who cannot bear to look in a mirror.

 

 

DRACULA :

Agatha?

 

 

Van Helsing :

Dracula who won't stand revealed in The Sunlight, 

who cannot enter a home without invitation.

 

These aren't curses.

 

They are merely habits that become fetishes 

that become legends that even you believe.

 

The Rules of The Beast...

..as we discussed so very long ago.

 

But why?

 

What are you afraid of?

 

You are A Warrior

from a long line of Warriors.

 

Your Grandfather Died in Battle.

 

Your Father, Your Brothers,

Your Sons, their Sons.

 

All of Them Fell as Heroes on The Battlefield.

 

But not you.

 

Not Count Dracula, 

The Warlord who skulks in The Shadows

and steals the lives of others.

 

Unwelcome Everywhere.

 

Who sleeps in A Box of Dirt 

yet dreams of A Warrior's Grave.

 

Who suddenly found himself in the thrall of 

A Girl in Love with The Thing He Fears The Most...

..Death.

 

And now we know why this works.

 

[ She speaks of The Cross. ]

 

HE GROANS

 

Because it Speaks of 

The Courage You Long to Possess.

 

The Courage it takes to die.

 

I call you ashamed.

Count Dracula is ashamed.

 

I don't need this any more.

 

CROSS BANGS

 

I'm Dying.

I am doing the one thing that you can never do, Dracula.

 

LABOURED BREATHING

 

Dracula :

You're in pain.

 

Nice of you to notice, AT LAST.

 

Van Helsing :

I am equal to it.

 

You seek to conquer Death,

but you cannot, until you face it without fear.

 

Goodbye, Count Dracula.

Shuffle back to your box of dirt.

The Game is over. You lose.

 

You Will Live Forever...

..in shame.

 

DRAMATIC MUSIC

 

Beautiful.

Look at that, Agatha.

 

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

 

It's beautiful.

 

FLAMES WHOOSH

 

Van Helsing :

This isn't real.

This is a dream.

 

DRACULA : 

Of course it is.

 

Van Helsing :

You're drinking my blood.

And my blood is deadly to you.

 

Dracula :

Yes.

 

Van Helsing :

So you'll die.

 

Dracula :

So will you.

After all this time,

did you think I'd let it hurt?

 

FLAMES CRACKLE

 

 

Watch My Dreams




The SIMULANT CAPTAIN's face appears on the monitor.


SIMULANT CAPTAIN: 

We have made some improvements to your craft.  

Now at least you may prove to be of some small amusement.


SIMULANT LIEUTENANT: 

You have two Earth minutes before we attack.


RIMMER: 

Let's get out of here.


CAT: 

Wait, I know This Game.  

It's called Cat and Mouse

and there's only one way to win -- 

Don't Be The Mouse.


LISTER: 

What are you saying?


CAT: 

I'm saying, 

The Mouse never wins.  


Not unless you believe those

  lying cartoons.  


We Don't Run, We Strike.  

It's The Last Thing They'll Be Expecting.


RIMMER: 

No, The Last Thing They'll Be Expecting 

is for us to turn into ice-skating mongooses 

and to dance The Bolero.  


And your plan makes

 about as much sense.


LISTER: 

I Say "Go with it."


KRYTEN: 

Agreed.


CAT: 

You're gonna go with one of my plans?  

Are you nuts?  


What happens if we all get killed?  

I'll never hear the last of it!


13 Model Shot.


Starbug pivots in flight 

and fires it's new laser cannons into the side

of the simulant ship.


14 Int. Simulant Ship.


The simulants look worried.


SIMULANT CAPTAIN: 

What are They doing?  

Power up The Weapons!


15 Int. Starbug Cockpit.


LISTER: 

Nailed Them.


16 Int. Simulant Ship.


SIMULANT LIEUTENANT: 

Fluke hit.


SIMULANT CAPTAIN: 

Take them with Us.


SIMULANT LIEUTENANT: 

Can't return fire.


SIMULANT CAPTAIN: 

Hack into their navigation computer.  

Transmit 

The  Armageddon Virus.


17 Int. Stabug cockpit.


The NaviComp starts to spark.


LISTER: 

What is it ?


KRYTEN: 

The NaviComp, something's wrong.



SIMULANT CAPTAIN: 

(On screen) 

See you in Silicon Hell.


18 Model Shot.


The simulant ship explodes.


19 Int. Starbug Cockpit.


KRYTEN: 

Shutdown all network links.  

The navicomp has been infected with 

A Virus.


LISTER: 

The NaviComp has frozen us out, 

we're locked on this course.  


If we carry on ahead at this speed, 

how long before we hit Trouble?


RIMMER: 

Well if you define 'Trouble' as a rather large moon 

directly in our path, about 38 minutes.


KRYTEN

Sir, The Only Solution is for me to 

contract The Virus myself,

  analyze it's structure 

and 

attempt to create a software antidote 

before it wipes out my core program.


Do I have your permission to sacrifice myself, sirs?


RIMMER: 

Do Lemmings like cliffs?  

Granted!


KRYTEN: 

I am going to have to create 

A Dove Program.


CAT: 

Dove program?


KRYTEN: 

A Dove Program spreads Peace through The System, 

obliterating the viral cells as it goes.


KRYTEN puts on head sensors 

and contracts the virus from the navicomp.


KRYTEN: 

The Virus is extremely complex.  


I will have to dedicate all my

  run-time to its solution.  


Shutting down all non essential systems.


LISTER: 

Is there anything we can do?  

Can we help?


KRYTEN: 

WATCH MY DREAMS.



*******


CAT: 

Wait, we're getting something.


21 Ext. Streets Of Laredo. Day.


The Monitor clears and KRYTEN is shown, 

dressed as a Sheriff in an 1800's

Western town.  


He is Drunk.


He throws an empty whisky bottle away 

before pausing before a wanted poster 

of the Apocalypse boys 

and entering a saloon.


22 Int. Ops Room.


CAT: 

What is This?


LISTER: 

I think we've tapped directly into 

whatever passes for Kryten's sub-concious.


CAT: 

Why is he A Sheriff in Some Old Western?


Because The Sheriff is allowed to Kill People -- 

Under Certain Circumstances.


Unlike A Policeman, he is 

Hired, Elected and Paid 

by The Community to DO it.


Because They Can't.


And sometimes, on The Frontier,

People Need to be Killed.


LISTER: 

Must be how his core program is coping with 

The Battle against The Virus.


For whatever reason it's converted The Struggle 

into some kind of dream.


23 Int. Saloon. Day.


Busy.  

A PIANO PLAYER plays a honky tonk version 

of Red Dwarf theme :

KRYTEN enters and tries to steer 

his way towards the bar.  


He passes JIMMY - a smooth oaf, 

playing cards with some unruly COWPOKES.


JIMMY: 

Well, well, well Sheriff, fancy seeing 

A Man of your sober disposition 

in a low-down drinking establishment.


KRYTEN: 

Now, now boys, I don't want any Trouble.  

Just doing my rounds.


As KRYTEN steps toward the bar JIMMY trips him up.


KRYTEN: 

You shouldn't ought to have done that Jimmy.


There is a scrape of stools and tables 

and JIMMY stands, hands on guns.


JIMMY: 

Why don't you try it, Sheriff.  

They say you used to be faster

  than a toilet stop in rattlesnake country.


KRYTEN: 

Sorry I tripped over your boot there Mr Jimmy, sir.  Arrrhhheeemm.

  Didn't mean any harm by it.


KRYTEN turns to the bar.


KRYTEN: 

Give me two fingers of your best sipping liquor, Miss Lola, 

and make it the smooth stuff — 

The stuff where you get your eyesight back after two days.  Guaranteed.


JIMMY: 

( Looking out of The Saloon Doors )

The Apocalypse Boys is Here.  


( General Panic, giving way to hushed silence. )


They's asking for you, Sheriff.


KRYTEN: 

I'll be right out.


KRYTEN takes numerous gulps of whisky 

before leaving the saloon to face

The Apocalypse Boys on The Porch.


24 Ext. Streets Of Laredo. Day.


The FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE 

sit menacingly on horseback outside the saloon. 


The bat-wing doors part and a nervous 

KRYTEN emerges swigging from a bottle of hooch.


KRYTEN: 

I don't believe I've had the pleasures, sirs.


DEATH spits out some chewing tobacco, 

which fizzles on the street like acid.


DEATH: 

The Name's Death.  

And These Here're My Brothers.  


Brother War...


WAR laughs and flames shoot out of his mouth.


DEATH: 

Brother Famine...


Fat FAMINE nods and takes a bite of chicken.


DEATH: 

and Brother Pestilence.


PESTILENCE grins, showing horrible broken teeth.  

He swipes idly at the swarm of buzzing flies around his head.


KRYTEN: 

Well, you seem like a nice neighbourly bunch of boys.  

How can I be Of Service?


All FOUR APOCALYPSE BOYS draw, 

shooting KRYTEN's hat off, 

and his bottle from his hand, 

as he dances around trying to avoid the hail of bullets.


Finally the  gunfire stops.


DEATH: 

We want your sorry ass out of Here.  

You got one hour.


DEATH spits a sizzler again, and THE FOUR HORSEMEN turn and gallop under

a dangling sign:  

'YOU ARE NOW LEAVING EXISTENCE'


and as The HORSEMEN

ride under it, They disappear.  


KRYTEN takes off His Sheriff's Star 

and throws it on The Ground.


25 Int. Ops Room.


LISTER: 

He's losing The Battle. 

Look at his lifesigns, they're barely registering.


CAT: 

Isn't there some way we can 

Get in There and Help Him?  


Somehow turn ourselves 

into tiny electronic people 

and get into His Dream?  


Isn't there some sort of gizmo 

lying around someplace that can do that?  

And if not, (slaps table) why not?!


RIMMER: 

Look, I think we've all got something 

we can bring to this discussion.


But I think from now on, 

the thing you should bring is Silence.


LISTER: 

No, no, no, I think he's got something.


CAT: 

Twice in one lifetime!  

When you're hot, you're hot.


LISTER: 

If we link up the Artificial Reality console to Kryten's Mind

we should be able to project directly into his dream state 

like it was a normal Computer Game.


CAT: 

What did I tell you?  

We don't even have to leave the room!


RIMMER: 

What about me?


LISTER: 

We'll shut all extraneous systems 

and power up your hard-light drive.


Come on guys, lets get these wagons rolling.