Wednesday, 9 October 2019

King Penguin







(Horns sound.)

S:  
Here for His Majesty, The King of England.

King George III :  
Someone told me my son was here. I wish him to marry this rose bush.
I want to make the wedding arrangements.

Edmund The Butler:  
(thinking quickly) 
Here I am — Daddy. 
This is the Iron Duke, Wellington, Commander of all your armed forces.

King George III :
Yes I recognised the enormous conk. Ha ha ha.

Arthur Wellesley, 
1st Duke of Wellington, 
KG, GCB, GCH, PC, FRS :
He's a hero. A 
man of wit and discretion.

King George III :
Bravo. You know, my son, for the first time in my life I have a real fatherly feeling about you. 
People may say I'm stark raving mad and say the word ‘Penguin’ after each sentence, but I believe that we two can make Britain Great - You as the Prince Regent and I as King. Penguin.

Edmund The Butler :  
Well, let's hope eh? Wellington, will you come and dine with us at the palace? 
My family have a lot to thank you for.

Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, KG, GCB, GCH, PC, FRS :
Dyahh, with great pleasure. 
Your father may be as mad as a balloon, but I think you have the makings of a Great King.

King George III :
Ah, wunderbar er hoff seiht. Ja.

Edmund The Butler:  
Oh and Baldrick? 
Clear away that dead butler will you.

(The King, Blackadder and Wellington exit leaving Baldrick cradling the Prince's head)

Baldrick :  (looks up) 
There's a new star in heaven tonight... 
A new freckle on the nose of the giant pixie.

Prince Regent : 
Erm! No, actually Baldrick, I'm not dead. 
You see I had a cigarillo box too, look. 
(rummages in his jacket) 
Oh damn, I must have left it on the dresser... (dies)

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