How Not To Explain Calvinism
EXT. SAN DIEGO BEACH - DAY
Jake and Niki sit at a ramshackle picnic table at a park overlooking the ocean. Several children play in the distance.
Niki finishes her Big Mac, crumbles the bag and throws it away. She unwraps a Milky Way and she finishes her fries. Jake watches with astonishment as she chomps her way through a second candy bar.
JAKE
You really shouldn't eat like that.
All that sugar. It's not good for you.
NIKI
At least I'm a growing person.
JAKE
You won't keep growing at this rate.
NIKI
What rate?
JAKE
You know what I'm talking about.
NIKI (snotty)
You never met a working girl before, have you? You think I like sucking off guys all night? Maybe I do. So what? (a beat)
You can't even say it, can you?
JAKE
Say what?
NIKI
'Sucking off.'
JAKE
Okay. Sucking off.
Now does that make me as good as you?
NIKI
You don't understand shit.
JAKE
Okay, tell me. Why do you live like you do?
NIKI
Did you ever live in a room with six people and you didn't have any money, any food, any furniture? Have your brother come out, his car break down, he can't get a job? Your friends stealing food, going through trash behind a supermarket?
JAKE (sympathetic)
Is that the way it was with you?
NIKI
No. But does it make any difference?
(a beat)
How did you get to be the way you are?
Jake doesn't answer.
NIKI (continuing)
Don't knock it. A girl can save up a lot money doing this -- big money.
Then you're free. You can go off to Europe, meet somebody, get married.
My girlfriend's going to buy her own beauty parlor. Not me. I'm gonna travel. 'Keep movin' that's my motto.
(a beat)
Would you rather work at Copper Penny at a dollar-eighty an hour, having every two-bit cocksucker able to yell at you? I can make more money suc... doing what I do for five minutes than I can all week at another job.
JAKE
You used to work at Copper Penny?
NIKI
No.
JAKE (pause)
You and I, Niki, have very different ideas about sex.
NIKI
Why? Are you a sex fiend?
JAKE (smiles)
No.
NIKI
Neither am I.
JAKE
But it's all you do.
NIKI
How important do you think sex is?
JAKE
Not very.
NIKI
We're just alike. You think sex is so unimportant you don't do it. I think sex is so unimportant I don't care who I do it with.
Jake thinks. That sounds right. But it can't be right. He looks away, then back at her.
JAKE
You can never understand a person like me. I am a mystery to you.
A middle class person, a Mid-westerner.
A man who doesn't pursue women.
A man who believes in social order.
A man who goes to church, believes in God, and a man who, at the end of his life, believes he will be redeemed.
(a beat)
This is all unfathomable to you.
Fifty years ago, in art, the prostitute sought to justify her life to the bourgeoisie. Now it is the bourgeoisie who must justify himself to the whore.
JAKE (continuing)
I don't see why I must justify myself to you. I don't care about the things you do. I don't care what's happening in New York or Los Angeles. I don't care about movies or TV. I don't care who's on Johnny Carson.
NIKI
(incredulous)
What do you care about?
JAKE
(cold)
I care about my daughter.
INT. OKINAWA BAR - DAY
Niki and Jake stand at the counter talking with JIM RUCKER, an entrepreneurial type about 40.
NIKI
You remember me. Louise? Rhymes with squeeze.
RUCKER
(looks, then nods)
You working in San Diego now?
NIKI
I'm still in L.A., but I'm looking
for Tod. I heard he was around.
RUCKER
'Was.' He and that shitheel Ratan went down to T-J. Maybe I shouldn't say that. Anyway, I hear he's back in Frisco now.
NIKI
Was he with a girl?
RUCKER
No.
NIKI
Thanks.
Niki starts to leave.
RUCKER
Keep in touch, baby. Got some good
stuff comin' up. Need you back, baby.
(as they exit)
And take good care of your friend
for me.
Jake turns back as Niki gives him a tug.
CUT TO: EXT. OKINAWA BAR - DAY
They walk toward the car.
JAKE
What's T-J?
NIKI
Tijuana.
JAKE
They were here?
NIKI
Tod was.
(her voice chills)
He was with Ratan.
JAKE
What does that mean?
(no answer)
What does he do?
NIKI
He deals in pain.
JAKE
Is Kristen safe?
She doesn't answer.
JAKE
(continuing)
Let's get a plane for San Francisco.
CUT TO: INT. L.A. POLICE MISSING PERSONS - DAY DETECTIVE BURROWS walks back into his office. Mast, sitting on the edge of the desk, is waiting for him.
BURROWS
Apparently your friend has gone into
Mexico. A Border Guard responded to
the APB. How does it feel to have
the L.A.P.D. doing your work for
you?
MAST
You're going to thank me for this.
You know what the media's like. They
love this kinda shit. If that guy
goes off half-cocked and gets himself
hurt, you're going to have so much
bad publicity, you...
BURROWS
(interrupting)
I heard you the first time. We had
nothing to go on with this kid. Just
a runaway.
(a beat)
Do you really think he's in danger?
MAST
If he has anything to say about it, yeah.
I've been asking a lot of questions and I don't like the answers I'm getting. He's made a lot of people nervous, including some poor faggot who thought he was going to be a movie star.
BURROWS
We aren't gonna arrest him for that...
MAST
(interrupting)
Big threat. TV would ream you.
BURROWS
Keep me informed of what he's up to.
You help me, I'll help you. Mast nods.
BURROWS
(continuing)
Why don't people stay where they
belong?
CUT TO: INT. SAN DIEGO AIRPORT - DAY
Jake and Niki sit in a line of multi-colored plexi-glass chairs in the Western Terminal of the airport. Niki munches a pack of Chuckles while Jake, his elbows on his knees, looks at the floor. Niki prattles on.
NIKI
You know what your problem is?
You're a very negative person.
You think negatively.
Jake tries to ignore her.
NIKI (continuing)
You have to believe in something.
What do they believe in -- the
Whatjamacillit church?
JAKE
Christian Reformed. It's a Dutch
Calvinist denomination.
NIKI
Do they believe in reincarnation? I
believe in reincarnation.
JAKE
They believe in the 'TULIP.'
NIKI
What the crap?
JAKE (smiles)
It's an anagram. It comes from the
Canons of Dort. Every letter stands
for a different belief. T-U-L-I-P.
Like -- are you sure you're interested
in this?
NIKI
Yeah, yeah, go on.
JAKE
T stands for Total depravity, that
is, all men, through original sin,
are totally evil and incapable of
good. 'All my works are like filthy
rags in the sight of the Lord.'
NIKI
Shit.
Jake is charmed. He's never been called upon to explain his beliefs to someone so totally ignorant of them.
JAKE
Be that as it may. U is for Unconditional Election. God has chosen a certain number of people to be saved, The Elect, and He has chosen them from the beginning of time.
L is for Limited Atonement. Only a limited number will be atoned, will go to Heaven.
NIKI
Fuck.
JAKE
I can stop if you want.
NIKI
No, please go on.
The INTERCOM ANNOUNCES a flight: Jake listens for a moment. It's a flight to Mexico City.
JAKE
I is for Irresistible Grace. God's
grace cannot be resisted or denied.
And P is for the Perseverance of the
Saints. Once you are in Grace you
cannot fall from the number of the
elect. And that's the 'TULIP.'
NIKI
Wait, wait. I'm trying to figure this out.
This is like Rona Barrett.
Before you become saved, God already knows who you are?
JAKE
He has to. That's Predestination.
If God is omniscient, if He knows everything -
- and He wouldn't be God if He didn't -
- then He must have known, even before the creation of the world, the names of those who would be saved.
NIKI
So it's already worked out.
The Fix is in?
JAKE
More or less.
NIKI
Wow. Then why be good?
Either You're Saved or you ain't.
JAKE
Out of gratitude for being chosen.
That's where Grace comes in.
God first chooses you, then allows you,
by Grace, to choose Him of your own free will.
NIKI
(amazed)
You really believe all that?
JAKE
Yeah. (shrugs) Well, mostly.
NIKI
I thought I was fucked up.
JAKE
I'll admit it's confusing
from The Outside.
You've got to see
it from The Inside --
NIKI
If you see anything
from The Inside
it makes sense...!!
You ought to hear perverts talk.
A guy once almost
had me convinced to let his
German Shepherd fuck me.
JAKE
….It's not quite the same thing.
NIKI
It doesn't make any fuckin’ sense to Me.
The INTERCOM ANNOUNCES
Western Flight #601 to San Francisco.
They rise.
