The Red Queen

Once upon a time

In a nursery rhyme

There was a castle with a King

Hiding in a wing

'Cause he never went to school to learn a single thing

He had scepters and swords

And a parliament of lords

But on the inside he was sad

Egad!

Because he never had a wisdom for numbers

A wisdom for words

Though his crown was quite immense

His brain was smaller that a bird's

So the Queen of the Nation

Made a Royal Proclamation

"To the Missus and the Messers

The more or lessers

Bring me all the land's professors"

Then she went to the hair dressers

And they came from the east

And they came from the south

From each college they poured knowledge

From their brains into his mouth

But the king couldn't learn

So each professor met their fate

For the queen had their heads removed

And placed upon the gate

And on that date

I state their wives all got a note

Their mate was now the late-great

But then suddenly one day

A stranger started in to sing

He said "I'm the dirty rascal

And I'm here to teach the king"

And the queen clutched her jewels

For she hated royal fools

But this fool had some rules

They really ought to teach in schools

Like you'll be a happy king

If you enjoy the things you've got

You should never try to be

The kind of person that you're not

So they sang and they laughed

For the king had found a friend

And they ran onto a rainbow for

The story's perfect end

So the moral is you mustn't let

The outside be the guide

For it's not so cut and dried

Well unless it's Dr. Jekyll

Then you better hide

Petrified

No, The Truth can't be denied

As I now have testified

All that really counts and matters

Is the special stuff inside