The Enkidu Principle - I Can Eat 50 Eggs

Have to close those things, or we'd drown, but it's suffocating in here.

The Submariner :
Talk about drowning.
When I was in the navy...
I was on submarine duty once, and when you get down there...

Enkidu, The First Friend :
Will you tell your story walkin'?
It's too hot.

Enkidu, The First Friend :
Did you see my skinny little boy chow tonight?
He's matching you plate for plate.



I wasn't feeling good.
I think I got an ulcer or something.

Enkidu, The First Friend :
He had a bigger spoon. Make you look like yours had a hole in it.


Come on, Clarence.

Enkidu, The First Friend :
What do you mean, Clarence?
You call me a liar?

Yankee :
No, not a liar.
You just have a common, likeable tendency toward exaggeration.

Enkidu, The First Friend :
That there's the champion hog-gutter of this camp.
Well, I've seen him eat ten chocolate bars and seven cold drinks in 15 minutes.

He can eat busted bottles and rusty nails, any damn thing.
If you be so kind to let me cut off your Yankee head, he'll even eat that.

Luke Skywalker,
The Ultimate Uncle :
I can eat 50 eggs.

Enkidu, The First Friend :
Nobody can eat 50 eggs.

The Unbeliever :
You just said he could eat anything.
You ever eat 50 eggs?

Enkidu, The First Friend :

Nobody ever eat 50 eggs.
Hey, Babalugats! We got a bet here.
My boy says he can eat 50 eggs,
he can eat 50 eggs.
Yeah, but in how long?

Luke Skywalker,

The Ultimate Uncle :

In an hour.
Well, I believe I'll take part in that wager.
Two dollars. Right here.
Come on now, let's talk some money.
All right, $20. Anything.

Enkidu, The First Friend :

The syndicate will cover any bet you want to make.
Koko, get some paper.

Koko :
Drag, 50 eggs got to weigh a good six pounds.
Man's gut can't hold that.
They'll swell up and bust him open.
All right, get your money up. Now,
Gambler, Dynamite, come on, get it up.
Koko-head's going to take all the money.
Come on, Loudmouth, get it up.
Wait just a minute, now.
How's he gonna eat them?
Boiled for 15 minutes.
Eat the whole thing in an hour.
One rule. No throwing up.
He throws up, you forfeit everything.
Now when was the last time
you ever saw my boy throw up?
Now shut your mouth
and give your money to Koko.
Why did you have to say 50 for?
Why couldn't you say 35 or 39.
It seemed a nice round number.
That's money you're talking about.
What's the matter with you?
Yeah, well, it'll be something to do.

Ten!

Enkidu, The First Friend :

Ten, right!
What did I do?
I stole and I told lies.
But I loved my neighbor. And his wife.
He'll never make it.
What we've got to do is stretch
that little old belly of yours.
Get all this stuff out of the way.
Them eggs's coming down.
We've got to get it all in fighting
shape, like a barrage balloon.
Ready...
...and go!
Hey, Boss, man needs a brown
bomber and a dose of salts.
You can't do that!
-I want my money back.
-No money back.
Twenty of those pills still won't
make any difference.
What are you worried about?
He can't do it.
What's he doing?
All right, stand back, you pedestrians.
This ain't no automobile accident.
That's all 50?
Move over, losers.
I got money riding here.
All right, I've got it figured out.
If he eats an egg a minute, he's got ten minutes left to swallow them.
Hey, I just got five bucks from a rodeo outfit.

Hey, you're peeling his eggs.

Enkidu, The First Friend :

That's right, mister.

He peels his eggs himself.
That's understood.

Now you may be just great at hanging paper around the big city 

and passing bad checks

but us country boys ain't entirely brainless.
When it comes to The Law, nothing is understood.

Enkidu, The First Friend :

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Who made what law about peeling the eggs?

I'm his trainer. I'm the syndicate covering all bets.
And I'm his official egg-peeler.
That's The Law.

Just wait till the hour starts, that's all.
I was banking on the fact he had to peel 'em.

Enkidu, The First Friend :

What's going on?

You ready, Champ?
Ready?
Go!
Two...
...three...
Man, he's going to lose a finger
eating eggs like that.
Twenty-four...
...twenty-five...
Slow down a little.
Twenty-six...
Forget it, he's wasting time.
Thirty-two.
Just have 18 more to go...
What's wrong?
-I think he's gonna throw up!
-Oh, no.
-That's it. He's finished.
-C'mon Luke!
Eighteen to go.
He's finished.
Just like a ripe watermelon
that's about to bust itself open.
Your boy's done for, Drag.
I'm putting in my last tenner.
-lt don't look good, Drag.
-Man's gut can't hold more than that.

He's all right, he's all right.

He's going to make it.
I give you a dollar he don't eat all 50 eggs, I get two dollars back.

Enkidu, The First Friend :

Fixer, you're a sweet old boy.
Better take that dollar and buy yourself
a new spark plug or something.
But as long as you done took a stand...
...why don't you put some money where
your mouth is and not no measly buck!
Well, all I got is 3.75, Drag.
That's a bet, Koko.
All right, now the rest of you, I want
to hear from some big-money men.
Where's all the high rollers?
I believe you've got it all, Dragline.
Every cent in the camp is riding.

What's the time?

Enkidu, The First Friend :

Come on, baby.
Twenty-four minutes to go.
Just let that little old belly sag and enjoy itself.
Forty-one.
Stay loose, buddy. Just nine more
between you and everlasting glory.

ls he eating them, Alibi?

Alibi :
He's chewing. Look at that.

Enkidu, The First Friend :

They're pigeon eggs, that's all.
Fish eggs, practically.
How much more time, Carr?
Six minutes to go, Stevie.
Chew, chew, chew!
You're helpin' him chew now!
Oh, no.
Forty-two.
Tiny, tiny egg.
Two minutes to time!
Forty-four.

All right, now, get mad at them damned eggs.
Eat it there, boy.
Chew on it.
Gnaw on it.

Carr :
Thirty seconds.

Enkidu, The First Friend :
You got the last one.
Stuff it down in there. Get it in.
That's the last one in there now, baby.
Chew. Chew.

Ten...nine...eight...
...seven...six...five...
...four...three...two...
...one...zero!


Hold it! He didn't swallow the last.

Enkidu, The First Friend :

You think so, huh? Just take a look here.
Open that mouth.


The Unbeliever :
Nobody can eat 50 eggs.