Grouch Lives Matter

Progressive Politics can offer no Hope to The Homeless, but it does demand that they be referred to as 'under-housed', 'involuntarily undomiclied', or 'house-less'.



VINCENT :

And how long do you intend to Walk The Earth? 

‘Til God puts me where He wants me to be.

VINCENT :

What if He don't do that? 

If it takes forever, then I'll Walk forever. 

VINCENT :

So you decided to be a bum. 

I'll just be Jules, Vincent. 

No more, no less. 

VINCENT :

No, Jules, you decided to be a bum, just like all those pieces of shit out there who beg for change, who sleep in garbage bins, eat what I throw away. 

They got a name for that, Jules - It's called a bum. 

And without a job, a residence or legal tender, that's what you're gonna be, man. 

You're gonna be a fuckin' bum. 

Dave Chapelle on Racism and Sesame Street

"They use the TV to program us, from a young age. You ever watch, like, a cartoon that you used to watch when you were little as an adult? That shit is wild shit.. Some wild shit. 

I mean, I was with my nephew. We’re sitting there, we’re watching Pepé Le Pew. 

And I say to my nephew, I said “Now pay attention to this guy cause he’s funny. I used to watch him when I was little.” 

And we’re watching Pepé Le Pew and I’m old now. 

And I’m like “Good God… what kind of fucking rapist is this guy? Like, take it easy, Pepé.” 

My nephew was sitting there cracking up: “Hehehe! See? Sometimes you gotta take The Pussy like Pepé. 

You’re like “No!” Nooo!” I had to turn the channel real quick.

I turn on Sesame Street and I say (phew) “Sesame Street.” This is much better cause now he’ll learn how to count and spell.” But now I’m watching it as an adult and I realize Sesame Street teaches kids other things: It teaches kids how to judge people and label people. 

That’s right. They got a character on there named Oscar… and treat this guy like shit the entire show. 

They Judge him right in his face : “Oscar, you are so mean. Isn’t he, kids?” 

“Yeah, Oscar. You’re a grouch.” 

He’s like, “BITCH, I live in a FUCKING trash can!” I’m the poorest motherfucker on Sesame Street! “Nobody’s helping me.” 

Then you wonder why the kids roll up and step over homeless people. 

“Get it together, Grouch.” 

“Get a job, Grouch.”

So don’t even tell me how to get to Sesame Street. It’s a terrible place. I wouldn’t go there if I knew the way. Who would wanna live in a neighborhood like that? Fucking six-foot pigeons walking around and… and elephant that’s a junkie. “HI, BIRD.” Yeah, that’s right. Snuffy! “HI, BIRD. I’m sick. I need some smack, BIRD.” The Cookie Monster with his eyes popping out of his head, screaming: “Cookie cookie cookie!” You’re like, “Ergh!” What kind of cookies are you talking about? “Chocolate chips don’t do that to people.” 

And they had the nerve to put a pimp on there. They didn’t come out and say he was a pimp, but I know a pimp when I see one. They called him The Count. Had a cape and everything. You’d have seen him pimping. “Bitch, where is my money?” You’ve been late four times. I’ve been counting. How many times must I smack you before you act right? One! Two! TWO SMACKS! “Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, ah, ahhhh…”

That’s the thing. There’s so many stuff… there’s just so much stuff to worry about. You know, the more you know, the more you don’t know and shit. You know. Like a lot of people are telling me, “Dave, you know, you just gotta relax. That Racism Thing has been bugging you too much.” 

I’ll be thinking about it - Sometimes shit will happen. You know. A lot of black people will relate to this. Have you ever had something happen that was so racist that you didn’t even get mad? It’s like, “Goddamn. That was rac… that was racist.” I mean it was so blatant, you were just like “Wow!” Like you were almost like, it didn’t even happen to you. It was like a fucking movie. That was like you were just watching Mississippi Burning: “Wooow.” 

That happened to me. I was in Mississippi. I was in Mississippi doing a show. 

And I go to the restaurant to order some food. And, I say to the guy… I say: “I would like to have…” And before I even my sentence, he says: “The CHICKEN.” I was like, “What the… fuck.” I could not believe it. I could not believe that shit. This man was absolutely right. I said, “How did he know…” that I was going to get some chicken?” I asked him. I said, “How did you know that?” How did you know I was going to get some chicken?” He looked at me like I was crazy. He said, “Come on, buddy. COME ON, BUDDY.” Now everybody knew that as soon as you walked through the goddamn door… you were gonna get some chicken. It ain’t no secret down here “that blacks and chickens are quite fond of one another.” And then I finally understood what he was saying, and I got upset. I wasn’t even mad. I was just upset. I wasn’t ready to hear that shit. All these years, I thought I liked chicken because it was delicious. Turns out I’m genetically predisposed to liking chicken. That shit is whack. I got no say in the matter. That guy ruined chicken for me. I’m scared to eat it in public. I don’t want someone to see me and say something. You know what I mean? You’ll be eating some chicken: (CRUNCH) (crunch) (crunch-crunch) “Look at him.” He loves it. Just like it said in the encyclopedia. “Look how happy he looks.”

Sometimes, that’s gonna be too much to deal with. That show business be crazy. That’s where the cultures really collide. Show business bring a lot of races together. Sometimes it works, sometimes it don’t. This is one thing that happens that’s funny. You sometimes I’ll be on a business call, right? You know, like, with… with a lawyer or something. You know, my lawyers be white. And uh… So like, we’ll be on a call, right? And they’ll be like: “OK, Dave, we’re gonna close the deal.” Is that fine with you? I’ll be, like, “Yeah, that’s good for me.” “Great! Great. You have a good weekend, Dave.” I’ll be like, “Alright. You too, man. Peace.” “Uh… all right now. Bye-bye.” They don’t know what to say, right? So sometimes I’ll make up shit that’s not even slang. Just to see how they handle it and shit. It’ll be the same thing, they just go: “All right, we’re gonna close the deal. Is that fine with you, Dave?” “Yeah, it sounds good to me.” “Great. You have a good weekend, Dave.” “All right, buddy. Zip it up, and zip it out.” He’ll be like… “Uh…” All right. “Zippity-doo-dah, bye-BYE.”