Friday, 13 September 2019

Laertes Cheated and Did The Blade Envenom!




Can you imagine Hamlet if he'd decided to avenge his Dad's murder by dressing as Batman  and fighting crime in Downtown Elsinore?

Hamlet’s Father’s Name is ‘Hamlet’ — 
He’s Hamlet, Son of Hamlet

The Son of The Dane

And he isn’t The King — 
Why Not?

Because 
He’s Insane 
(maybe)





















Colonel, do me a favor? Please?
Explain to this moron here that in none of the plays of Shakespeare can there be a part for Superman.


There could be, the way I explained it.


The way you explained! Jesus!
You know what he wants? You want to hear?
When the conspirators draw their knives, he wants to rescue Julius Caesar!
Ready? Swoop down like a rocket, pick him up and go hurdling mighty temples in one single, incredible bound!
Jesus, Nammack. Are you crazy?


KANE :
Maybe we do need a few restrictions.

The Exorcist :
Colonel.
Colonel.
I'm in trouble, I need help. Immediate help.


Take an enema; call me soon.
Dr. Fell, you're wanted in surgery.
I've been having an argument, a monster... and I'll like you to settle it once and for all.


Some Shakespearean -
Hold this please.

Some Shakespearean scho -
Thank you.

Some Shakespearean scholars say, that when Hamlet is pretending he's crazy... 
He really IS crazy,
Correct?

KANE :
That's right.

The Exorcist :
Now, other Shakespearean scholars say, that when Hamlet...

Other Shakespearean scholars say that when Hamlet is pretending to be nuts... he really isn't nuts, its an act.

Please give me your opinion.

KANE :
I would like to hear your's first.

The Exorcist :
To the dog, Sir Lawrence, who is the one he is having the argument with. ]
Terrific psychiatrist.
That's class.

Dr. Fell (No, really, he did) :
Pretty...

The Exorcist :
Why don't you go inoculate a fucking armadillo, Fell?

Doctor Fell (No, Really, he did.) :
No really, I'm interested. 
I'm terribly interested.


The Exorcist :
Your interests are coextensive with on Nero's ass on Sunday morning.
Heady concept, Frankie.
Now listen, Colonel — 
Considering how Hamlet is acting... is he really and truly crazy?

Kane :
Yes.


Fell :
No.

The Exorcist :
You're BOTH wrong.

Now think what happens:
First the father dies; then his girl leaves him flat.

Then, there's the appearance by His Father's Ghost...
Bad enough, but then The Ghost says he was murdered.

And by whom?

By Hamlet's Uncle, 
who recently married Hamlet's Mother!

Now that by itself is a helluva hangup — 
because Hamlet LIKED His Mother... a LOT!


Kane :
But then we agreed than Hamlet's insane.


No, he's not.
He is pretending, but...
If Hamlet HADN’T pretended to BE crazy, 
he would have GONE crazy.

See, Hamlet isn't psycho.
He's hanging on a brink.
A little shove, a little teensy eensy little eensy push, and the kid's gone! Bananas! Whacked out!

So his unconscious mind makes
him do what keeps him sane... 
namely acting like he's nuts!
See 'Cause acting crazy...
...is a way to let off steam; a way to
get rid of your fucking aggression. 
A way to get rid of your fears and your terrors...

If I did what Hamlet does in this play, they'd lock me up; 
They'd put me in prison.
They'll punish me, sure!

But him? 
Prince Royal Garbagemouth gets away with murder. 
And why?


Because nuts are not responsible!
Meantime, the crazier Hamlet acts... the more he indulges himself, the healthier he gets!

Kane :
Yes. I think...

The Exorcist :
I'm waiting.

Kane :
I think I agree with your theory.

The Exorcist :
Yes! There!


You see? You understand that now,
you dumb stupid idiot?

From Now On, We Do The Scene My Way!
Come On, Sir Lawrence!

God bless your veins and your arteries, Colonel.
Sir Lawrence, you don't know shit...

Astronaut Capt. Billy Cutshaw :
Did he buy it?

The Exorcist :
Did he buy it?
Hell, I bought it.
Billy, I think there is something wrong with us.

Kane, The Killer :
Groper, get off the line.
The Hamlet theory is correct.

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