Kane

Rabbi...

Private property cannot be confiscated.

How long are the schools going to be closed?

I do not know.

"Article 47, pillage is formally prohibited."

You don't know anything!

I am familiar with the Hague Convention.

Religious...

They come into our house and tell

us we don't live there anymore.

It now belongs to a certain SS officer.

Please. I only know What They Tell Me.

And What They Tell Me changes from day to day.

Aren't you supposed to be able to help?

I mean, what if I just took this thing off?

What are They going to do about it?

They will shoot you.

Why don't you stop this silly talk?

Itzhak Stern!

I'm looking for Itzhak Stern.

Are you Itzhak Stern or not?

I am. 

 

Where can we talk?

There's A Company you did the

books for on Lipowa Street.

Made what? Pots and pans?

STERN :

By Law, I have to tell you sir, 

I am a Jew.

OSKAR SCHINDLER :

Well, I'm a German. 

So there we are.

 

( of-interest is the fact that he does not, at this stage (openly) conceed that you can be both -- although, Stern is Polish, in any case)

A good Company, you think?

STERN :

Modestly successful.

I know nothing about enamelware. 

Do you?

STERN :

I was just The Accountant.

Simple engineering though, wouldn't you think?

Change the machines around, whatever you do...

You could make other things, couldn't you?

Field kits, mess kits. Army contracts.

Once The War ends, forget it

but for now it's great.

You can make A Fortune, don't you think?

STERN :

I think Most People right now

have other priorities.

Like what?

STERN :

I'm sure you'll do just fine once you get the contracts.

In fact, the worse things get,

the better you'll do.

Well, I can get The Signatures I need.

That's the easy part.

Finding The Money to buy

The Company, that's hard.

STERN :

You don't have any money?

Not that kind of money.

You know anybody?

Jews, yeah. Investors.

You must have contacts in

The Jewish Business Community, working here.

STERN :

What Community? 

Jews can no longer own Businesses.

That's why this one's in Receivership.

But they wouldn't own it. I'd own it. 

I'd pay them back in Product, pots and pans.

Pots and pans.

Something they can use.

Something they can

feel in their hands.

They can trade it

on the black market,

do whatever they want.

Everybody's happy.

If you want, you could

run the company for me.

Let me understand.

They'd put up

all the money,

I'd do all the work.

What, if you don't mind

my asking, would you do?

I'd make sure it's known

the company's in business.

I'd see that it had

a certain panache.

That's what I'm good at, not the work.

Not The Work.

The Presentation.

I'm sure I don't know anybody

who'll be interested in this.

Well, They should be, Itzhak Stern.

Tell them they should be.

Sole Survivor

Look upon My Legacy, Algrim. 

I can barely remember a time before The Light. 

Our Survival will be your legacy. 

The Asgardians will suffer as we have suffered.

I will reclaim The Aether. 

I will restore Our World. 

And I will put an end 

to This Poisoned Universe.

Final Report of the commercial starship Nostromo, 

Third Officer Ripley Reporting. 

The other members of The Crew - 

Kane, Lambert, Parker, Brett, Ash, 

and Captain Dallas 

- are Dead. 

Cargo and Ship destroyed. 

I should reach The Frontier in about six weeks. 

With a little luck, 

The Network will pick me up. 

This is Ripley, 

Last Survivor of The Nostromo, 

signing off.

[to Jonesy the cat] 

Come on, cat.

This is an S.O.S Distress Call from The Mining Ship Red Dwarf. 

The Crew are Dead, 

killed by a radiation leak. 

The Only Survivors are 

Dave Lister, 

who was in suspended-animation during The Disaster, 

and his pregnant cat 

who was safely sealed in The Hold. 

Revived 3 million years later, 

Lister's only companions are, 

a life form who evolved from his cat 

and Arnold Rimmer, 

a hologram simulation 

of one of the dead crew. 

I am Holly, The Ship’s Computer 

with an IQ of 6,000 - 

The same IQ of 6,000 P.E. teachers, or 12,000 Car Park Attendants.

Ripley Vs. The Man

I blew it out of the 

goddamn air lock. 

The Man :

I'd just like to go back to this point 

about the override destruct order.

Is it in the file? 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status in Poor Standing :

I don't understand this. 

We have been here for three and a half hours. 

Now, how many different ways 

do you want me to tell the same story? 

The Man :

Look at it from our perspective, please. Please? 

Now, you freely admit to detonating the engines of 

and thereby destroying, an M-class starfreighter --

a rather expensive piece of hardware. 

42 million in adjusted dollars. 

That's minus payload, of course. 

 ...for which The Insurance will have already paid-out on DECADES ago, once The Nostromo was declared overdue and lost. 

The Man :

Now, The Lifeboat's flight recorder 

corroborates some elements of your account 

in that, for reasons unknown, 

the Nostromo set down on LV-426,

an unsurveyed planet at that time, 

that it resumed its course 

and was subsequently set for self-destruct 

by you for reasons unknown. 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status in Poor Standing :

Not for reasons unknown. I told you. 

We set down there on company orders 

to get this thing, which destroyed my crew 

and your expensive ship. 

The Man :

The analysis team, 

which went over The Lifeboat 

centimetre by centimetre 

found no physical evidence 

of the creature you describe. 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status 

in Poor Standing :

Good. That's because I blew it 

out of the goddamn air lock. 

Like I said. 

The Man :

Are there any species like this hostile organism on LV-426? 

The WoMan :

No. It's a rock. 

No indigenous life. 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status 

in Poor Standing :

Did IQ's just drop sharply while I was away?

 

Ma'am, I already said it was not indigenous. 

It was a derelict spacecraft. 

It was an alien ship. 

It was not from there. 

Do you get it? 

We homed in on its beacon. 

The Man :

And found something never recorded once 

in over 300 surveyed worlds. 

"A creature that gestates 

inside a living human host." 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status 

in Poor Standing :

Yes. 

The Man :

These are your words. 

"And has concentrated acid for blood."

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status 

in Poor Standing :

 That's right. 

Look. I can see where this is going, 

but I'm telling you that 

Those Things Exist. 

The Man :

Thank you, Officer Ripley. 

That will be all. 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status 

in Poor Standing :

Please. You're not listening to me.

 

Kane, the crew member... 

Kane, who went into that ship, 

said he saw thousands of eggs there. 

Thousands. 

The Man :

Thank you. 

That will be all. 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status 

in Poor Standing :

Goddamn it, that's not all. 

Because if one of those things gets down here, 

then that will be all. 

Then all of this... 

this bullshit that you think is so important... 

Well, you can just kiss all of that goodbye. 

The Man :

It is the finding of this court of inquiry that warrant officer E. Ripley, NOC14472 has acted with questionable judgement and is unfit to hold an I.C.C. licence as a commercial flight officer. 

Said licence is hereby suspended indefinitely. 

Now, no criminal charges 

will be filed against you at this time 

and you are released on your own recognisance 

for a six-month period of psychometric probation 

to include monthly review 

by an I.C.C. psychiatric technician. 

These proceedings are closed. 

Burke :

….That could have been better.

Look, I think the... Ripley? 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status 

in Poor Standing :

Van Leuwen... Why don't you just check out LV-426? 

The Man :

Because I don't have to. 

There have been People there for over 20 years 

and they never complained about any ‘hostile organism’. 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status in Poor Standing :

What do you mean? What People? 

The Man :

Terraformers. Planet Engineers. 

They go in, set up these big atmosphere processors 

to make the air breathable. Takes decades. 

It's what we call a "Shake 'N Bake" colony. 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status in Poor Standing :

How many are there? 

How many colonists? 

The Man :

I don't know... 60, maybe 70 families. 

Do you mind? 

Lt. Ellen Ripley,

Woman of Low-Social Status 

in Poor Standing :

Families — Jesus. 

And Then, The President was Dead.

This is Your President. 

On behalf of my country, and in the name of the other leaders of the world, with whom I have today consulted, 

I hereby abdicate all authority and control over this planet...

to General Zod.

Clark Kent: 

Zod!

Only by strict compliance with all his directions will the lives of innocent millions be spared. 

[desperately] 

Superman! Can you hear me? 

Superman! Where—?

(The camera pans to Zod as he grabs a microphone)

General Zod: 

Who is this "Superman"?!

President: 

You'll find out, General, and when you do —

General Zod: 

Come to me, Superman! 

If you dare..!!

I defy you! Come! 

Come and kneel before Zod! 

Zod!!!

“ Flash stories were the work of well-adjusted grown-ups who really understood children. 

In contrast to the titanic but all too often cruel and cloying sensuality of the Superman and Batman tales, the female leads in Schwartz books brought a brisk self-assurance to the proceedings. 

In the graceful hands of Infantino or Kane, women like Iris Allen, Sue Dibny, and Jean Loring were styled in the finest New Look Paris modes. Their hair was cut to keep up with the latest trends. 

This was partly a result of fallout from the code, which insisted that female characters be realistically proportioned and modestly attired, but it helped turn the Schwartz heroines into hip and pretty exemplars of the Jackie Kennedy style. 

Out of costume, their men wore slacks, blazers, and trilby hats or sported short-back-and-sides establishment haircuts. An aesthetic that would one day be called metrosexual was born here in full bloom. 

They all hung out together, these settled young couples with good jobs, positive can-do attitudes, and crime-fighting double lives they still kept secret from their loved ones. 

Schwartz was also establishing a shared universe. Flash was friends with Green Lantern, Hal Jordan. 

He was also friends with Ivy League physics professor Ray Palmer, aka the Atom, and his lawyer girlfriend, Jean Loring. 

He also hung out with the Elongated Man (the Stretchable Sleuth) Ralph Dibny and his wife, Sue. 

They didn’t meet to fight one another as the later Marvel heroes would do. 

They didn’t overemote. 

They enjoyed picnics, which were routinely disrupted by oddly small-scale, almost polite, alien invasions—the kind easily repelled by the deployment of some quirky science fact that rendered the invaders vulnerable to common table salt or H2O. 

Their sexuality was never dubious or in doubt. Relaxed, cosmopolitan, they represented the epitome of our Kennedy Man, our postwar Madison Avenue pioneer astronaut American role model.

Hopeful in the clear light of 

The Morning of The Sun King. 

Poignant in their certainty. 

And then, 

The President was Dead. 

The golden walls of Camelot collapsed, flimsy as any stage set, to reveal the bloody screaming mires of Vietnam beyond, where two million potential astronauts, artists, poets, musicians, and scientists were being lined up to die in the sacrifice of an American generation.”

RIMMER :

Where are we?

KRYTEN :

It says 1966, I must have prodded us forward three years.

RIMMER :

At least it'll give us time to analyse the original error.

crosses to the window and looks out>

CAT :

Hey, there's nobody here, the entire city's deserted...

[-- 17 - OB. Day. A deserted, abandoned street ----------------------------]

[ALL present. They are walking slowly along a wide, pleasant street which is completely devoid of any signs of life. Abandoned vehicles line the side of the road, and a breeze blows old litter around. In the back of one of the cars is an discarded newspaper - it's headline reads: 

"Millions flee from American cities". 

It's like a scene from The Stand]

LISTER :

I don't understand it, all we did is save Kennedy's life.

CAT :

Is that bad? What kind of a dude was he?

RIMMER :

He was a fine man.

[-- 18 - OB. Day. A deserted, abandoned street ----------------------------]

[Scene cuts to a street further on in the city. All is the same as in the previous street, with one exception: 

the dead body of a man lies undisturbed on the pavement]

[ALL enter, CAT : leading]

CAT :

Look!

LISTER :

Can you get anything for us from his scent?

CAT :

Male.

Mid-thirties.

RIMMER :

It looks like he was trampled to death in some kind of stampede.

Kryten  sees a newspaper sticking out of the man's suit. He picks it up and begins to scan it

KRYTEN :

Just processing.

I'll re-route the results through my chest monitor:

[As the others gather around, POV switches to a close up of Kryten's monitor]

KRYTEN : [VO]

"President Kennedy was impeached in 1964 for sharing a mistress with Mafia boss, Sam Giancana. 

It was the biggest scandal in American history.

Kennedy was sentenced to three years 

in an open prison in July, '65.

J. Edgar Hoover became President; 

He was forced to run by The Mob,

who had pictures of him 

at a transvestite orgy."

LISTER :

So America had a president controlled by The Mafia?

KRYTEN : 

[partial VO]

"Soon after The Election, 

The USSR were allowed to install 

a nuclear base in Cuba 

in return for Mafia cocaine trafficking 

between Cuba and the States. 

With a Soviet nuclear base 90 miles 

from the US mainland, people

fled from all the major cities."

CAT :

So am I right in thinking I could get 

a major nuclear explosion all over this suit? 

Cos I'm telling you guys, 

that stuff does not dry clean!

RIMMER :

Back to Starbug.

KRYTEN :

Starbug isn't There. 

It Doesn't Exist.

CAT :

What?

RIMMER :

How come?

KRYTEN :

Er, best guess: Kennedy's impeachment in '64 traumatised the American nation, 

allowing The USSR to win The Space Race. 

In this reality, it was probably 

The Russians who were the first 

to land on The Moon.

CAT :

So we're marooned.

LISTER :

How was I supposed to know that 

a chicken vindaloo 

was going to cause all this.

CAT :

But you guys said Kennedy was a great pres!

KRYTEN :

He was!

RIMMER :

He was also an inveterate womaniser; 

his affairs were legendary. 

They never came out when he was alive.

KRYTEN :

Every man has his weak spot - 

his 'Achilles Heel'.

RIMMER :

Kennedy's was just, higher up.

LISTER :

If I'd known this was gonna happen, I'd have had an egg sarnie, and

finished the Cinzano.

Kryten, what've I done, man?

KRYTEN :

Well, you've brought the 20th century to the very brink of extinction,

sir. Gum?

LISTER :

What is wrong with you? Where is your compassion? You've got about as much

warmth as a service station chip! That's right, you've no behaviour

protocols, have you.

RIMMER :

Any you thought causality didn't matter? Every action we take, has

trillions of implications, how come you forgot that?

KRYTEN :

Well, I didn't forget, sir, I just didn't *care*. I've got no guilt.

LISTER :

Ah. I nicked Kryten's body. That's spare head 2; I removed his guilt

chip.

RIMMER :

You, have altered the entire course of Civilisation from the 20th century onwards, 

you've brought The World 

to the brink of nuclear war, and worst of all --

LISTER :

I know, I know; I still haven't had a curry.

KRYTEN :

No, worst of all, the Time Drive has frozen.

RIMMER :

Let me see --

Do you think its because the sub-space conduits have locked with the transponder calibrations and caused a major tachyon surge that has

overloaded the time matrix?

KRYTEN :

Ah, no, sir; I've just been jabbing it too hard.

CAT :

So what now?

RIMMER :

We need to have time to figure out how to unfreeze it. I suggest we, set up camp here for the night and perhaps Kryten can go and look for

some food?

KRYTEN :

I'm on my way, sir!

[Exit KRYTEN :]

[-- 19 - OB. Night. Aroun--------------]

[LISTER :, KRYTEN :, RIMMER : and CAT : present, sitting around a large open fire.

RIMMER : is fiddling with the Time Drive while LISTER : and CAT :, having ditched

their spacesuits, tuck into hefty chunks of meat]

RIMMER :

It's hopeless, I can't fix it. We're trapped...

CAT :

Chicken's good.

LISTER :

Yeah, really good.

KRYTEN :

That's not chicken, sir.

CAT :

Oh, what is it?

KRYTEN :

It's that man we found.

poison...>

Well, it seemed such a waste to leave him lying there when he'd barbecue

so beautifully.

RIMMER :

KRYTEN :

Did I do wrong? I didn't get any error commands...

Obviously I thought about it, because without my guilt chip or moral

imperatives, I have nothing to guide me. But it seemed to me that if

humanoids eat chicken then obviously they'd eat their own species; otherwise

they'd just be picking on the chicken.

RIMMER :

One minute you're down, the next you're right back up again.

LISTER :

I said I was enjoying that!

CAT :

I knew it didn't smell right! Oh my god...

LISTER :

I'm a cannibal!

fire. It's obviously 'thawed out'>

RIMMER :

Look!

CAT :

Right, lets get out of here! I badly need to floss a piece of roasted

dead person out of my teeth!

RIMMER :

Where to?

KRYTEN :

Hawaii. Let's catch some surf!

LISTER :

No, no, we've got to go back; stop ourselves from interfering with the

assassination.

CAT :

I don't care where we go, just as long as it's before we had dinner!

[-- 20 - Fifth-floor storeroom inside the Texas Book Depository -----------]

[ALL present, sat together around a box of books playing poker. Tense music

plays, and a clock on the wall shows the time as 1:27pm.]

[Enter OSWALD]

head with one hand. Oswald, upon spotting the Dwarfers, uses the long case

he carries on his shoulder to awkwardly cover his face>

CAT :

Decorators. Try up on the sixth floor.

[Exit OSWALD]

KRYTEN :

Stand back, sir, our original selves are about to beam in. When they

realise their mistake they'll beam out again. I propose *we* go down to the

fourth.

[-- 21 - Fourth-floor storeroom inside the Texas Book Depository ----------]

[ALL enter. A room very similar to that up on the fifth.]

LISTER :

First shot!

<...a second and third shot rings out. Again, there is noise and commotion

from the street below>

[Cut POV to outside of building, looking at the Dwarfers at the window]

CAT :

It doesn't smell right, I think he's missed!

RIMMER :

How come?

KRYTEN :

He's right, sir. By sending Oswald up to the sixth, we've made the

trajectory of his shot so steep he's only wounded him.

RIMMER :

Let's start again, and bring him back down to the fifth.

LISTER :

We can't use the fifth: our original selves are destined to beam in there

as he fires his third shot, and this version of us are now on the fourth.

CAT :

We've been copied more times than that poster of the tennis girl

scratching her butt.

LISTER :

If we could arrange, somehow, for a second gunman to fire from just behind

that little hill over there covered in lawn...

KRYTEN :

You mean the, er, the grassy knoll, sir?

LISTER :

That'd solve it, wouldn't it?

CAT :

Shoot the pres?? Who?

RIMMER :

You can count me out.

CAT :

And me.

[Cut to inside of room]

LISTER :

Hang on... maybe, just maybe there's someone who can get us out of this

mess.

RIMMER :

Where are we going?

LISTER :

Idlewild airport, July, '65...

[-- 22 - OB. Day - A runway at Idlewild airport ---------------------------]

into the back of a prison truck. As police lock up tyhe truck, the

Dwarfers beam in, nearby the stationary aircraft.>

[ALL present]

LISTER :

This is right. He's being escorted to Hoover open prison in New York.

Give me *five minutes*.

[-- 23 - Int. JFK's prison truck ------------------------------------------]

[JFK present]

[Enter LISTER :, beamed in by the Time Drive to the bench seat opposite JFK]

LISTER :

Don't be alarmed, sir, but I have a very strange tale to tell.

[FADE. Time passes. Picture returns as Kennedy is speaking]

JOHN F. KENNEDY

I, ah, have had plenty of time to reflect on my deeds in the Whitehouse.

In all important respects I believe I did a good job. 

It was right to plan a pull out of Vietnam, 

to fight for civil rights, and, ah, 

to fight congress, ah, to put a man on the moon. 

It was, ah, wrong however, to, ah,

act like an irresponsible jackass with all those women, and allow my enemies

to wreak havoc on Our Nation.

LISTER :

But I can help, man. 

I mean, Mr. President, man. 

I mean, sir.

KENNEDY

How, ah, can you help?

LISTER :

Well, come with us back to Dallas, 

November 1963, be a second gunman. 

The gunman behind the grassy knoll.

KENNEDY

You mean, assassinate myself?

LISTER :

Yeah! It'll drive the conspiracy nuts crazy, 

but they'll never figure itout.

KENNEDY

But I, ah, still have a future here. 

Jackie left me, but, ah, when I get out 

I can, ah, still make a contribution to The World.

LISTER :

See this airport, Idlewild airport? 

In Our Reality, they renamed it 'JFK', after you. 

Where I come from, 

You're A Liberal Icon, 

and That's The Person You Should Be. 

But if you're gonna be That Person --

You're gonna have to

Sacrifice Your Life.

KENNEDY :

And only then will my reputation 

be restored in history?

LISTER :

Mm. And I can get a smeggin' curry.

KENNEDY

Ask not what your country can do for you... 

ask what you can do for your country.

LISTER :

Hey, that'd make a pretty neat speech, that.

KENNEDY

It did. Heh heh.

[-- 24 - OB. Day. Behind the grassy knoll in Dallas, 1963 -----------------]

All present. JFK present, he and KRYTEN : dressed in policeman's uniforms hands him what looks like an M-16 rifle, and nods towards the street meaningfully

[MONTAGE.] 

We see the parade roll through the main street once again; Oswald lining up his shot from the sixth floor of the Texas Book Depository and JFK tracking his own vehicle as it moves slowly down the road. 

Oswald fires his first two shots, wounding the president as before. 

This time, however, Kennedy himself takes aim from the grassy knoll - firing his shot moments after Oswald's third, and leaving what would turn out to be a nasty mess on Jackie O's suit...

Kennedy lowers the gun and turns away, 

clearly disturbed, but unreadable beyond that

KENNEDY

I, ah, thank you all for giving me 

the opportunity to, ah, be reborn.

After a short time, he fades from reality. 

The Dwarfers turn away, leaning against 

The White Picket Fence on The Grassy Knoll

LISTER :

Smeg! I forgot to ask 

if there are any curry houses in Dallas!

his head and KRYTEN : nods; after all, there's only so much you can take of

one person... CAT : turns and walks behind LISTER :, whistling innocently.

As RIMMER turns to follow him, he suddenly grabs LISTER and pulls him to the ground - the three of them quickly laying into the curry-deprived one with everything they've got. The nightstick that Kryten carries come in particularly useful...>