FDDR

With two D's, as he says, for a Double Dose of This Pimping. 

You see, a Pimp's Love is 

VERY different from that of a Square....

Well, I'm a King Bee

Buzzin' around yo' hive

Well, I'm a King Bee

Buzzin' around yo' hive

Well, I can make honey, baby

Let me come inside

I'm young and able

To buzz all night long

I'm young and able

To buzz all night long

Well, when you hear me buzzin', baby

Some stingin' is going on

Well, buzz awhile

'Sting-a-been'

Well, I'm a king bee

Want you to be my queen

Well, I'm a king bee

Want you to be my queen

Together we can make honey

The world ever, never, seen

Well, I'm a king bee

Can buzz all night long

Well, I'm a king bee

Can buzz all night long

Well, I can buzz better, baby

When yo' man is gone.

Then I said, ‛Sweet, I copped a beautiful yellow bitch tonight. I got her humping on the track with my girls. Sweet, the bitch is crazy about me. I know I’ll hold her for years.’ 

He said, ‛Slim, a pretty Nigger bitch and a white whore are just alike. They both will get in a stable to wreck it. They’ll leave the pimp on his ass with no whore. You gotta make ’em hump hard and fast. Stick ’em for long scratch quick. Slim, pimping ain’t no game of love. Prat ’em and keep your swipe outta ’em. Any sucker who believes a whore loves him shouldn’t a fell outta his mammy’s ass. 

‘Slim, I hope you ain’t sexed that pretty bitch yet. Believe me, Slim, a pimp is really a whore who’s reversed the game on whores. Slim, be as sweet as the scratch. Don’t be no sweeter. Always stick a whore for a bundle before you sex her. A whore ain’t nothing but a trick to a pimp. Don’t let ’em Georgia you. Always get your money in front just like a whore. 

‘Whores in a stable are like working chumps in the white man’s factory. They know in their sucker tickers they’re chumping. They both gotta have horns to blow their beefs into. They gotta have someone to listen while they bad mouth that Goddamn boss. 

‘A good pimp is like a slick white boss. He don’t ever pair two of a kind for long. He don’t ever pair two new bitches. He ain’t stuck ’em for no long scratch. A pair of new bitches got too much in common. They’ll beef to each other and pool their skull, plots, and split to the wind together. 

‘The real glue that holds any bitch to a pimp is the long scratch she’s hip she’s stuck for. A good pimp could cut his swipe off and still pimp his ass off. Pimping ain’t no sex game. It’s a skull game. 

‘A pimp with a shaky-bottom woman is like a sucker with a lit firecracker stuck in his ass. When his boss bitch turns sour and blows, all the other bitches in the stable flee to the wind behind her. 

‘There ain’t more than three or four good bottom women promised a pimp in his lifetime. I don’t care if he cops three hundred whores before he croaks. 

‘A good pimp has gotta have like a farm system for bottom women. He’s gotta know what bitch in the family could be the bottom bitch when mama bitch goes sour. 

‘He’s gotta keep his game tighter on his bottom bitch than on any bitch in the stable. He’s gotta peep around her ass while she’s taking a crap. He’s gottta know if it’s got the same stink and color it had yesterday. 

‘Slim, you’re in trouble until you cop the fourth whore. A stable is sets of teams playing against each other to stuff the pimp’s pockets with scratch. You got a odd bitch. You ain’t got but a team and a half. 

‘A young pimp like you is gotta learn not to cop blind. Your fourth bitch is gotta be right to pair with the third whore. 

‘She can’t be no ugly bitch unless she likes pussy. She can’t be smarter than the pretty bitch. She can be younger, even prettier, but she’s gotta be dumber. 

‘Slim, all whores have one thing in common just like the chumps humping for the white boss. It thrills ’em when the pimp makes mistakes. They watch and wait for his downfall. 

‘A pimp is the loneliest bastard on Earth. He’s gotta know his whores. He can’t let them know him. He’s gotta be God all the way. 

‘The poor sonuvabitch has joined a hate club he can’t quit. He can’t do a turn around and be a whore himself in the white boss’s stable unless he was never a pimp in the first place. 

‘So, Kid, rest and dress and pimp till you croak. I ain’t had no rest in a coupla days. I think I’ll try to get some doss. Kid, these skull aches are getting bad. Good luck, Kid. Call me tomorrow, late. 

‘Oh yeah, happy birthday, Kid. That rundown was a birthday present.’ 

My skull was reeling from his rundown on the way home. It was five A.M. when I got there. The runt and Ophelia were asleep. They were locked together like Siamese twins. 

I picked up my scratch off the dresser. It was two and a quarter bills. I went and looked in on Chris. She was in bed reading a book. She looked up and put the book across her belly. She reached under the pillow. She gave me a roll of bills. I checked it. There was six bits. It wasn’t bad for a new bitch who got to the track late. She held out her arms. She was naked. I had to cop her some sleep wear. To avoid her arms I lit a cigarette. She said, ‛Daddy, did I do all right?’ 

I said, ‛Chris, you made a start. It’s like the first buck of that million you’re gonna make. I oughta frame it like a sucker who’s opened a new hot-dog stand. 

‘I want you to put that book down. Get some doss. I want you to take a fin to Leroy tomorrow. Hip him I’m your man now. 

‘The family is gonna Cabaret tonight. It’s my birthday today. I’ll get a rundown of your first night when I wake up. I’m gonna cop you a partner for the street real soon, baby. Good night, Chris.’ 

When I woke up, it was one P.M. I turned on my side. Two big brown eyes were looking at me. It was Ophelia. She started kissing my eyelids. 

She said, ‘Daddy, you’re so pretty. You got eyelashes just like a bitch’s. Phyllis took Chris to visit that sucker in the shit-house. Daddy, can I kiss my candy?’ 

I said, ‛Christ in Heaven, ain’t I got a whore in this family without a hot jib. Go on bitch. Then get your kit and trim my toe nails and paint ’em. We’re all going to get pretty for my birthday party tonight.’ 

She said, ‛How old are you, Daddy? I bet you’re nineteen.’ 

I said, ‛Bitch, I’m a hundred-and-nineteen. I just got a pretty baby face.’ 

Chris and the runt got back from Leroy around three P.M. Chris had a serious look on her face. 

I said, ‛Well how did he take the news? Did he hang himself from the bars before your eyes?’ 

She said, ‛Daddy, he fell apart. He would have killed me if he could have reached me. He cried like his heart was broken. He said he was going to kill you wherever he saw you. I feel bad, Daddy. He really upset me. I’m going to lie down.’

I thought, ‛That square chump is sure a whingding. I’m gonna put the hurt to him fast if I run into him.’ 

We partied at a swank white joint near the Gold Coast. We got home at four A.M. I was sober. The whores were stoned. I went and got into my bed. I dozed. An hour later I woke up. The three whores were crowded into bed with me. They were stroking and kissing me all over. Mr Thriller sure ached to be a circus performer. I was having trouble convincing Mr Thriller he had to take only one at a time. He was a pimp not a freak. The ring-master put the show on and stayed cool. It was eight o’clock before I got to sleep. It was a month before I copped the fourth whore. She was a cute tiny seventeen-year-old broad, about Chris’s color. The stable had brought her home from a coffee joint at closing time. They took their breaks there. The little broad was a waitress in the joint. She was curious about the whore game. She was wild to wear flashy clothes. She thought I was rich when she dug the pad. The excitement in her eyes hipped me I could make a fast cop. I took her into the living room. I cracked her into saying she’d be my woman and stop slaving for thirty a week. Then I gave her the pitch to tie the knot. She was sitting in a chair. I stood looking down at her. Her eyes never left my face. It was maybe like a rattle-snake charming a robin. I said, ‛Jo Ann, I gotta congratulate you. You’re not only lucky, you’re smart. You knew when you saw me that I was going to be your man. I’m hip that you were just waiting to meet me. ‛You have wanted since you were a little girl to live an exciting, glamorous life. Well, Sugar, you’re on Blood’s magic carpet. I’m gonna make your life with me out-shine your flashiest day dreams. ‛I’m a pimp. You gotta be a whore. I don’t have squares. I’m gonna be your mother, your father, your brother, your friend, and your lover. The most important thing I’m gonna be to you is your man. The manager of the scratch you make in the street. Now, sweet bitch, have you followed me so far?’ She whispered, ‛Yes, Blood, I understand.’ I reached down and took her hand. I took her to the window overlooking the city. I held her against me. I said, ‛Look out there, baby angel. Out there is where you work. Those streets are yours because you’re my woman. I’ve got five Gs in fall money. If you get busted for anything, even murder, I can free you. Baby Bitch, this family is like a small army. We got rules and regulations we never break. ‛I am really two studs. One of them is sweet and kind to his whores when they don’t break the rules. The other one comes out insane and dangerous when the rules are broken. Little baby, I’m sure you’ll never meet him. ‛Never forget this family is as one against the cold, cruel world. We are strong because we love each other. There’s no problem I can’t solve. There’s no question I can’t answer about this game. ‛Tomorrow I’m going to start filling your skull with everything about this game and street. I’m going to make a star outta you angel. Don’t ask any outsider anything. Come to Chris or me. ‛My little baby, I’ll protect you with my last drop of blood. If any mother-fucker in those streets out there, stud or bitch, hurts you, or threatens you, come to me. He will have to cut my throat first, shoot me first. I take an oath to protect you for as long as you are my woman. Baby, I know that’s for always. Now repeat after Daddy, baby.’ She squeezed tightly against me. She was in a trance looking up at me. She chanted along with me. ‛From this moment I belong to Blood. I am his whore. I will do everything he tells me. I won’t ever fuck with his scratch. I will hump my heart out every night. I’ve gotta make a bill a night.’ She slept with Chris that night. After the first week I knew she was the perfect partner for Chris. Sweet was right. Chris and Jo Ann ran Phyllis and Ophelia into a panting lather in the street. I started wanting that fifth whore.