Saturday, 28 May 2016

The War at Home (or, Why Captain America 3 : Civil War was IncrediblyDisappointing)

Yes, I know we still got some of this in Agent Carter's funeral oration for her Aunt Peggy - but that just makes it worse, not better.


1. The Removal of all the American Politics.

Immediately prior to Civil War and Avengers Disassembled, Tony Stark (outted as Iron Man) was George W. Bush's Secretary of Defence, during the worst portion of the American Occupation of Iraq following the Iraq War, and the Avengers was operating under and international UN Mandate, but crucially, not under UN control.... And Cap was fine with this. These are the ideals of Franklin Denanor Roosevelt.

This came to an abrupt end (thanks, Wanda), when an apparently loaded Secretary Stark, in full armour, threatened the life of the Latvavian Amabassdor (that's Doctor Doom's nation, but their usual Prince and Head of State was absent, presumed dead, at this point - actually, Doom had gone to Hell. Literally. But he came back.) on the floor of the UN General Assembly, so The Avengers quickly lost their UN Mandate to operate and therefore disbanded.

That was unlucky.

When the New Avengers were formed 6 months later,  by Cap and Stark, the stripped-down operation was Stark sponsored and funded once-more and operated under a S*H*E*I*L*D  mandate, with paramilitary back-up and logistical support, courtesy of Maria Hill, Cap, Wolverine and NickFury's Tripple (Quadruple) Agent, Spider-Woman Jessica Drew.

Where and when exactly the Jack Kirby-Stan Lee-Jim Steranko UN S*H*E*I*L*D became an agency of the US National Security, I don't know, but it's a matter of record that following 9/11, the War of Terror and Nick Fury's Secret War, things became far worse under Director Maria Hill.

Cap 3 replaces The Superhuman Registration Act with The Sekovia Accords, and replaces the counter-terrorism witch-hunt of the post-9/11 world with the popular will of the sovereign governments  117 nations and says "that's bad."

Well, a similar number of nations - a much larger number, in fact - felt that the Iraq War was illegal and unnecessary and a violation of the Nuremberg Code on Aggressive War.

And Cap 3 moves the putative Seat of World Government (for some reason) from New York City to Vienna - where it is not secure, and where they are immediately attacked and bombed.

That was unlucky.

Nobody trusts or particularly like the UN - this is true.

But uniquely, only Americans are afraid of the UN and are more fearful of it killing them than their own government - the UN is a big committee, and its untrustworthiness is entirely due to it's complete ineffectuality and toothless sea not its ability to impose World Government Totalitarianism. It's effete.

Only in America is the United Nations a credible villain.

Oh, s**t...

2. No Clor.





3. The Iron Spider no-show





4. No Ben Grimm (Perhaps understandable)

Benjamin Grimm, ladies and gentlemen - The Heart of the Marvel-616.

Legally, this was obviously impossible to do - and true, the political act of conscience of The Thing moving to France for the duration of hostilities in the Civil War as a refusenik declaring "Not in My Name", rather than picking a side was a lot funnier and brutally ironic in 2005 than anyone would find resonance with in 2016.

But that moment was just all heart, and that's what made it truly awesome.



5. Lack of any personal history or backstory between Spidey and Cap.


If they don't know each other (and haven't fought together, side by side, for years), Peter Parker's rational betrayal of Captain America (and Steve Rogers)  as fellow heroes and Avengers has absolutely no emotional depth, impact or meaning whatsoever.

This Petey is just a gullible puttz.



6. PUNISHER.








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