Teaching a Monkey to Smoke

“The opening story frame brought us into the home of Commissioner Gordon, currently entertaining his “YOUNG SOCIALITE FRIEND, BRUCE WAYNE,” a bored young man who puffs heroically on a pipe while asking the question “WELL, COMMISSIONER, ANYTHING EXCITING HAPPENING THESE DAYS?” The middle-aged police chief was a keen smoker too, igniting a cigar that sent a miniature mushroom cloud into the air between the two.

“NO-O-,” Gordon began tentatively. Then, as if the most intriguing element of the story were a mere afterthought: “EXCEPT THIS FELLOW THEY CALL THE ‘BAT-MAN’ PUZZLES ME.” 

When Gordon was summoned to the scene of a brutal murder at a nearby mansion, Wayne tagged along, as if there was nothing at all odd about a member of the public who treated deathly serious police investigations as sightseeing trips.

Bat-Man appeared on the third page, standing on the roof in the moonlight. His stance displayed confidence; his arms were folded, and he seemed unafraid, almost laconic. The crooks recognized him, cuing readers that this adventure was not the first night out for our hero. As with Superman, we arrived after the story had already begun, groping for our seats in the dark. Almost immediately, Batman erupted into violence against the men in a rapid sequence of action panels.

In his first outing, he broke up the bizarrely complex plot of a chemical syndicate involving several murders and some money. It’s not a great story, and no matter how often I read it, I’m still left slightly in the dark as to what it was about, but the striking appearance of the hero made it unforgettable. It also established an important trend in the early Batman stories. From the very beginning, Batman habitually found himself dealing with crimes involving chemicals and crazy people, and over the years he would take on innumerable villains armed with lethal Laughing Gas, mind-control lipstick, Fear Dust, toxic aerosols, and “artificial phobia” pills. Indeed, his career had barely begun before he was heroically inhaling countless bizarre chemical concoctions cooked up by mad blackmarket alchemists. Superman might have faced a few psychic attacks, but, even if it was against his will every time, Batman was hip to serious mind-bending drugs. Batman knew what it was like to trip balls without seriously losing his shit, and that savoir faire added another layer to his outlaw sexiness and alluring aura of decadence and wealth.

In July 1939’s Detective Comics no. 29, he faced another drug-dispensing no-gooder in “The Batman Meets Doctor Death.” Doctor Death was Karl Hellfern, a seriously disgruntled middle-aged chemist and obviously a devious bastard, as indicated by the presence of a monocle. Unable to rustle up even the simplest of hair-restoring formulas, he was seriously balding but sported a devilish goatee and pointed ears, which may or may not have been hereditary. In this adventure, Batman was shot and wounded, showing that, unlike Superman, he was as mortal as the rest of us, only much more tenacious.

The ending to the story found a new note of hysteria that would enliven the best Batman adventures: trapped in his laboratory, Doctor Death fought back by inadvertently setting the whole place alight. As he realized what he’d done and was consumed by flames, the doctor lost it completely, screaming, “HA! HA! OH—HA-HA-HA—YOU—YOU FOOL!” To which Batman, pausing a moment to watch the spreading inferno, replied grimly, “YOU ARE THE POOR FOOL! HE HAS GONE MAD! DEATH … TO DOCTOR DEATH!” 

The introduction of the secret identity, given away so generously as just one more brilliant idea halfway through the first Superman story, was saved for the twist ending of the third Batman story, which kept it in line with the mystery and detective aspects of the Batman strip. 

The last two panels showed a door, creaking open from its curious position ajar until the “Bat-Man” stood revealed in full costume. There’s something genuinely strange about this dreamlike conclusion to the story, this weird emergence from the closet into the half-light. It seemed a miracle that Wayne, our chain-smoking pipe abuser, could wheeze his way out of the cupboard and down the hall, let alone spring and glide across the rooftops of Gotham, but the distinctive visual of Batman was so arresting, so visceral, he caught on with the reading public as rapidly as Superman had.”

Excerpt From

Supergods

Grant Morrison

WHITEFACE

Whiteface Clowns Like Pierrot and Columbine... that’s a whole other deal.

The Heath Ledger Joker and Jaquin Phoenix Joker are actually the iterations of The Joker to wear Whiteface; when Lt. Commander Data is accidentally transported to 19th Century San Francisco, he is mistaken for a Frenchman in pyjamas — because everyone thinks he is wearing whiteface.

It’s actually impossible to BE a WhiteFaced clown, as the origins Renaissance-Shakespearean meaning of ‘clown’ meant ‘rustic; unsophisticated, rude, rough-mannered and un-courtly peasant..... with a tan.’ Having a tan or having sun-damaged skin meant you worked in The Fields; when French Petty-nobility began paling-up their skin, it was intended to serve as a signal and convey the message that 

“I am more sophisticated than you. (Peasant.)”

 so keep that in mind when Artie Fleck paints his face.

clown (n.)

1560s, clowne, also cloyne, "man of rustic or coarse manners, boor, peasant," a word of obscure origin; the original form and pronunciation are uncertain. Perhaps it is from Scandinavian dialect (compare Icelandic klunni "clumsy, boorish fellow;" Swedish kluns "a hard knob; a clumsy fellow," Danish klunt "log, block"), or from Low German (compare North Frisian klönne "clumsy person," Dutch kloen). OED describes it as "a word meaning originally 'clod, clot, lump', which like those words themselves ..., has been applied in various langs. to a clumsy boor, a lout."

The theory that it is from Latin colonus "colonist, farmer" is less likely, but awareness of the Latin word might have influenced the sense development in English.

Meaning "professional fool, professional or habitual jester" is c. 1600. "The pantomime clown represents a blend of the Shakes[pearean] rustic with one of the stock types of the It[alian] comedy" [Weekley]. Meaning "contemptible person" is from 1920s. Fem. form clowness attested from 1801.

clown (v.)

c. 1600, "to play the clown onstage," from clown (n.); colloquial sense of "to behave inappropriately" (as in clown around, 1932) is attested by 1928, perhaps from the theatrical slang sense of "play a (non-comical) part farcically or comically" (1891). Related: Clowned; clowning.

The Majors Tom : Planet of The Apes

Taylor, I'm telling you to climb off my back.

And that completes my final report until we reach touchdown.

We're now on full automatic, in the hands of the computers.

I've tucked my crew in for the long sleep and I'll be joining them

soon.

In less than an hour we'll finish our sixth month out of Cape Kennedy.

Six months in deep space.

By our time, that is.

According to Dr. Hasslein's theory of time in a vehicle traveling nearly the speed of light, the Earth has aged nearly 700 years since we left it, while we've aged hardly at all.

It may be so.

This much is probably true.

The men who sent us on this journey are long since dead and gone.

You who are reading me now are a different breed.

I hope a better one.

I leave the 20th century with no regrets, but... one more thing.

If anybody's listening, that is.

Nothing scientific. It's... purely personal.

Seen from out here, everything seems different.

Time bends.

Space is... boundless.

It squashes a man's ego.

I feel lonely.

That's about it.

Tell me, though...

Does Man, that marvel of the universe, that glorious paradox who has sent me to the stars, still make war against his brother, keep his neighbours’ children starving?

Brent :

Taylor! 

Taylor :

You're Brent...!

Brent :

My God, Taylor! 

Taylor :

Brent! 

How in the hell did you get here? 

Brent :

Spaceship, ape city, subway--

Taylor :

By yourself? 

Brent :

No, Nova found me. 

Taylor :

Nova? Is she with you? Where? 

Brent :

I don't know. They separated us. They tried to make me kill her. 

Mutant :

Mr. Taylor, Mr. Brent, we're peaceful people. 

We don't kill our enemies. 

We get our enemies to kill each other. 

The Queen is Dead

RANDAL :

See, the thing I don't get about Princess Leia is her Sovereignty.

If you were her, wouldn't you be glad when Grand Moff Tarkin blew up Alderaan? 

I mean, you'd be Queen at that point.

DANTE HICKS:

Her Mom was dead •before• they blew up Alderaan, so wouldn't she be Queen already? 

RANDAL :

Ah, the whole movie's flawed, like that light saber stuff.

They turn it on and it goes yea-high.

How does it know when to stop?

DANTE HICKS :

Um, the Force? 

RANDAL :

Man, that's your answer for everything.

I am a Great River to My People - Sensuality, Enrichment and Taking Your Pleasure

There are Two Types of Being in The Universe :

Those That Dance

and

Those Who Do Not.

Crime-lab Assistant Barry Allen,

working late at night

was doused and annoited by falling chemicals,

Struck by a Bolt of Lightning 

and became The Fastest Man Alive

Future Student Drop-out and Retiree-in-Perpetuity,

Jay Garrick

(He has almost-literally just about always been retired for

ORION FIGHTS FOR EARTH !!

“Jack “King” Kirby was the most influential superhero artist of them all, with an imagination and range that sat comfortably inside a visionary tradition running all the way from Hebrew scriptures and epic mythology through William Blake and Allen Ginsberg. Born Jakob Kurtzberg in August 1917—Jack Kirby was the one of his many pennames that stuck—Kirby grew up in a tenement on Manhattan’s Lower East Side. As a member of the Suffolk Street Gang, he was familiar with the thrill of full-on physical conflict in a way that many of his bookish young contemporaries were not. Indeed, unlike Joe Shuster or Bob Kane, who drew fights at a sniffy remove, Kirby dragged his readers directly into the wild flail of fists and boots that typified the real combat he’d experienced. 

His figures captured how it felt to somersault through a crowd of antagonists. His heroes and villains clashed in bony, meaty brawls that could sprawl across page after page. Superman might wrestle a giant ape for a panel or two, but in Kirby’s hands, the fight scenes were a thrilling end in themselves.

Kirby served in World War II as a private first class in Company F of the Eleventh Infantry. He landed on Omaha Beach at Normandy two months after D-day in 1944 and proceeded with his unit into occupied France. There he saw action at the battle for Bastogne, Belgium, enduring frostbite so severe that Kirby almost lost both feet and was finally mustered out with a combat infantry badge and Bronze Star for his trouble. His memories of the war informed his work for the rest of his life, but nonetheless, Kirby portrayed violence as a joyous expression of natural masculine exuberance. 

When American Nazis marched into the building where Simon and Kirby had their studio, demanding the blood of the Captain America creative team, it was Jack who rolled up his sleeves and went to sort them out."

“As the monster-child, Orion, grew to manhood on New Genesis, his life dramatized debates of nature versus nurture, good versus evil, youth versus age, tyranny versus freedom. Kirby was dealing with the big dualities and had assembled his own gleaming pantheon to help him articulate the questions of the age.

Kirby told us that humanity’s better nature would inevitably prevail. That was the story, and we all knew it deep in our hearts. Kindness and understanding could turn even a demon into a holy warrior, but an angel could never be broken to the Devil’s service and would always find ways to soar and to be free. 

The war would never end, but the outcome was never in any doubt.”

BILL MOYERS: 

The mesmerizing character for me is —  

Darth Maul.

When I saw him, I thought of Satan and Lucifer in “Paradise Lost.” 

I thought of the devil in “Dante’s Inferno.” 

I mean, you’ve really — have brought from 

— it seems to me — 

from way down in our unconsciousness this image of —

of Evil, of The Other.

GEORGE LUCAS: 

Well, yeah. 

We were trying to find somebody who could compete with Darth Vader, who’s one of the most, you know, famous evil characters now. 

And so we went back into representations of evil. 

Not only, the Christian, but also Hindu and Greek mythology and other religious icons and, obviously, then designed our own — our own character out of that.

BILL MOYERS: 

What did you find when you went back there in — 

in all of these representations? 

There’s something …

GEORGE LUCAS: 

A lot of — a lot of evil characters have horns. 

It’s very interesting. 

I mean, you’re trying to build a icon of evil, 

and you sort of wonder why the same images evoke the same emotions.

BILL MOYERS: 

What emotion do you feel, George, when you look at Darth Maul?

GEORGE LUCAS: 

I think the first thing you’re supposed to react to is fear. 

You’re supposed to go,

 ‘Ooh. You — you wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley.'

And I’m not creating a monster. 

I didn’t want to create some ugly — somebody ripped out their intestines and threw them all over their head 

— and it’s — you can’t watch it. 

This is something …

BILL MOYERS: 

It’s actually mesmerizing.

GEORGE LUCAS: 

This is something that is more — 

it works in a different emotional way. 

It’s not repulsive, it’s just — 

It’s something you should be afraid of.

BILL MOYERS: 

Is the emotion you wanted from him different from the emotion you wanted from Darth Vader?

GEORGE LUCAS: 

It’s essentially the same in a different kind of way.

Darth Vader was a — a composite man. 

I mean, he was half-machine, half-man. 

And that’s where he lost a lot of his humanity is that he — 

you know, he has mechanical legs. 

You know — and he has mechanical arms possibly and he’s hooked up to a breathing machine. 

 

So there’s not much, actually, human left in him. 

This one is all human. 

And I wanted him to be like an alien, but I wanted him to be human enough that we could identify with him, because he’s not a sort of a monster we can’t identify with. He’s…

BILL MOYERS: 

He’s us.

GEORGE LUCAS: 

…he’s — yeah. 

He’s the evil within us.

BILL MOYERS: 

I’ve had psychotherapists tell me that they use “Star Wars” sometimes to deal with the problems of their child patients. 

And they’ve said that the most popular character among the children is Darth Vader.

GEORGE LUCAS: 

Well, children love power because children are The Powerless. 

And so their fantasies all center on having power. 

And who’s more powerful than Darth Vader, you know? 

And, some, you know, will be attracted to Luke Skywalker because he’s the good guy. 

But ultimately, 

We all know that Darth Vader’s more powerful than he is.

GEORGE LUCAS: 

And as time goes on, you discover that he is more powerful because— 

He's The Ultimate Father 

Who is All-Powerful.

BILL MOYERS: 

This is where I disagree somewhat with our friend Joseph Campbell who said that 

The Young Man has to slay his father before he can become an adult himself. 

It seems to me, and I think you’re right on here, that 

The Young Man has to identify — 

has to recognise and acknowledge that 

He is His Father 

and 

Is Not His Father.

GEORGE LUCAS: 

You know, Joe used to talk about the basic issues that create 

The Mystery of Life. 

Of, you know, birth and death, 

and I like to always add, 

 Your relationship with your parents. 

BILL MOYERS:

Do you know yet what is going to be the transforming of Anakin Skywalker into Darth Vader?

GEORGE LUCAS: 

Yeah.

BILL MOYERS: 

You already know that?

GEORGE LUCAS: 

Yeah, I know what that is. 

And it’s sprinkled throughout this episode. 

I mean, the groundwork’s been laid in this episode. 

And the — the film is ultimately about the Dark Side and the Light Side, and those sides are designed around compassion and greed. 

And we all have those two sides of us and that we have to make sure that those two sides of us are in balance.

BILL MOYERS: 

I think it’s going to be very hard for the audience to accept that this innocent cherub almost of a boy, who’s playing Anakin Skywalker, can ever be capable of the things that we know happen later on. 

And I’m sure you’ll take care of that but, you know, I look at Hitler and wonder what did he look like at eight years old, or Stalin …

GEORGE LUCAS: 

Mm-hmm …

BILL MOYERS: 

… or …

GEORGE LUCAS: 

Well, there are lots of — there’s a lot of people like that. 

I mean, you just — you see them all the time and you — that’s what I wonder. 

I wonder, 

'How can those people possibly exist? How could they live with themselves?' 

[ VODKA ] 

How could they — you know, what is it in the human brain that gives us the capacity to be as evil as human beings have been in the past and are right now.

BILL MOYERS: 

Well, you’ve been probing that for a good while now.

GEORGE LUCAS: 

Yeah.

BILL MOYERS: 

Twenty-five years. 

Have you come to any conclusions?

GEORGE LUCAS: 

I haven’t.

Neo: 

I only ask to say What I’ve Come to Say, after that, do what you want and I won’t try to stop you.

Deus Ex Machina: 

Speak.

Neo: 

The program ‘Smith’ has grown beyond your control. 

Soon he will spread through This City as he spread through The Matrix. 

You cannot stop him, 

but I can.

Deus Ex Machina: 

We Don’t Need You. 

We Need Nothing.

Neo: 

If that’s True, then I’ve made a mistake 

and you should kill me now.

Deus Ex Machina: 

What Do You Want?

Neo: 

PEACE.

(Zion: Temple entrance)

{Sentinels charge the temple entrance, then suddenly stop}

Niobe: 

What are they doing? 

• Morpheus lays down his Weapon •

*to Morpheus* 

What are you doing!?

Lock: 

Morpheus!

(01)

Deus Ex Machina: 

And if You Fail?

Neo: 

I Won’t.

(Zion: Temple entrance)

Niobe: 

{looks up and sees sentinels slowly circling} 

Neo.

Morpheus: 

He Fights for Us.

Epistemology: That’s a Myth Everyone Knows

“If xxxxx , He Shall Bring Death and Disaster down on us all...! —

Believe Me, I Know!”

But that’s just it Miss. Hawthorne –

Why Should We Believe You

and

How Do You Know...?

River Phoenix was Here

River Phoenix was Here.

He Mattered. 

He Matters Still. 

And He Will Continue to Matter,

Even Unto The Very Utmost

Ending of The World.

Curious, yet? Oh Good.

Oh, and — 

So Do You, just Incidentally.

Bed Canon

"Sarek's Son Spock" -- Gene Roddenberry talks to Mark Lenard in connection with "Inside Star Trek", a tribute to Star Trek released in 1976.

Roddenberry to transporter officer: "Set transporter for Vulcan Embassy."

"Coordinates on Vulcan Embassy."

"Lock on to Ambassador Sarek."

"Ambassador Sarek, sir. Engaging."

[transporter effect]

"Welcome, Ambassador Sarek."

"My old friend Roddenberry, it's been years since we've met."

"And I have many new questions, Ambassador--much more intimate, and personal, than I have ever had to ask before."

"About my son Spock, I presume."

"Well, yes, if you include the beginnings of Spock... There are some things I must know, Ambassador, in order to continue with my Star Trek journey. Forgive me, but how were you able to... overcome... the Vulcan _pon farr_ mating drive? I presume you did overcome it, Spock's mother Amanda was human, and somehow she was impregnated by you--"

"Roddenberry, are you asking if we coupled?"

"Ehrr, yes, sir. We know that Vulcans normally mate only once every seven years--"

"And since it is known that we pay for our sexual repression during these years by an almost animal madness, this has aroused a... a prurient curiosity among humans."

"It comes out of our affection for your son Spock, Ambassador. And your son's future. He's half Human, we've seen him reject a Vulcan marriage, is marriage to a Human female possible to him?"

"It was for me."

"But if you take the madness, which happens to your people at the time of pon farr, then add to it the extraordinary strength of a Vulcan--"

"Ordinarily an Earth woman could not endure that. If she survived, she might be severely injured, both physically and emotionally."

"Regarding that--"

"Roddenberry, I will not paint a word picture. 

I will say, that Humans and Vulcans mate in... somewhat similar fashion--in quite a similar fashion. 

But physical contour, mass, duration and energy do vary. 

Since we are deprived of our reason, during this time, the rest depends upon the woman. 

Not just her strength, but also her wisdom. Her patience."

"Is it possible to ever completely overcome the pon farr madness?"

"It is probably impossible to a Vulcan in his youthful prime. 

Fortunately, I was not. 

And it was no doubt helped by the fact that I spent almost thirty years as Ambassador to other Federation planets."

"And you spent many of those years on Earth itself?"

"Yes. But this gives too much credit to me. 

Spock's mother Amanda is an extraordinary woman."

"And Spock was the result. 

The first Human-Vulcan mixture."

"No, not the first. 

But the first to survive. 

As you must know, an Earth-Vulcan conception will abort during the end of the first month. 

The fetus is unable to continue life once it begins to develop its primary organs. 

The fetus Spock was removed from Amanda's body at this time-- first such experiment ever attempted. 

His tiny form resided in a test tube for the following two Earth months, while our physicians performed delicate chemical engineering, introducing over a hundred subtle changes that we hoped would sustain life. 

At the end of this time, the fetus was returned to Amanda's womb. 

At the ninth Earth month, the tiny form was again removed from Amanda, prematurely by Vulcan standards, and spent the following four months Vulcan term pregnancy in a specially designed incubator. 

The infant Spock proved surprisingly resilient--there seems to be something about the Earth-Vulcan mixture, which created in that.. tiny body.. a fierce determination to survive."

"And, as Spock grew into childhood, Ambassador--"

"Yes, yes. There must have been times when his inner mind wondered, if the fight to survive had been worthwhile. 

You see, while all Vulcans, including our children, live by the code of IDIC, and believe that diversity is to be admired, and treasured, it must be understood that the display of emotion is considered on our planet to be grossly offensive. 

No, more than that. 

Shockingly indecent. 

I can only explain that our attitude is rooted in Vulcan history, involving events of such bloody violence that it's left our race forever scarred, and sensitive to displays of emotion. Whether or not this Vulcan attitude can be defended, the fact is, it exists."

"Young Spock was allowed no smiles, no tears, no anger..."

"Such emotions, so common among your small children, are shocking, even appalling, to a Vulcan child. Spock's playmates could only assume that the bearer of these emotions was exhibiting hatred for his fellows. Some desire to embarrass, to disgust them. The children were prepared to enjoy Spock's diversity, they were not prepared for my son's demonstrating what seemed to be an obscenity of the grossest kind."

"It must have been a cruel existence for Spock."

"It was."

"Then, what kept your family on Vulcan?"

"We felt... Spock's torture, of course. But Amanda and I also had a dream. One that justified even the risk of our precious son's life and sanity. What point is there in any life surviving unless it has meaning? The meaning of Spock's existence is the very meaning of our marriage: What our two lifeforms combine, and offer something of value to other lifeforms."

"IDIC."

"Yes. Infinite Diversity from Infinite Combinations. It has given us quite a lovely Universe. I will return to Vulcan now, if I may."

"Thank you, Ambassador. Engage transporter."

[transporter effect]

================

The Most Dangerous Breed of Creatures in The Universe

“My 5-Year Old, the other day, one of her toys broke

and she demanded  that I break one of her sister's toys, too – 

to make it fair....

and I did....

That's How Much Shit She Gave Me...!!

I broke the little toy, and I felt awful, and I'm, like, cryin', and I look over to her, and she's got this creepy smile on her face –

That's The Difference Between Boys and Girls –

and it Becomes 

The Difference Between Men and Women, 

really....

Because, a Man will, like,

Steal Your Car

or

Burn Your House Down

or

Beat The Shit Outta Ya –

But a Woman will Ruin Your Fucking Life...

D'ya See The Difference...?

Because a Man will Cut Your Arm Off 

(Maybe, because he can.)

and

Throw it in a River

(Perhaps. I don't know...).

But he'll leave You, as a Human Being, intact –

He won't fuck with Who You Are –

Women are Non-Violent, but They will shit inside of Your Heart....

Welcome to Wherever You Are

BILL MOYERS: 

Do you ever have sympathy for the man who has no invisible means of support?

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: Who has no invisible means yes, he’s the one that evokes compassion, you know, the poor chap. And to see him stumbling around, when the water of immortal life is right there, is really evokes one’s pity.

BILL MOYERS: 

Right there? Right there? Youn believe that?

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: 

Yes, yes.

BILL MOYERS: 

The waters of eternal life?

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: 

Right there.

BILL MOYERS: 

Where?

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: 

Wherever you are if you’re following your bliss. I mean, you’re having that joy, that refreshment, that life, all the time.

1966

“Eleven years later, cycle 20 reversed the polarity. By 1966, hair had become longer, clothes were looser and more flamboyant, music became more involved and sophisticated, and the drugs were mind expanders like LSD.

In 1966 The Cosmic Wave entered the comics, to bring with it the gods of Thor, villains like The Anti-Matter Man, and John Broome’s psychedelic Flash stories. 

 

The new heroes were anti-establishment “Freaks” and Mutants.”

Excerpt From

Supergods

Grant Morrison

HUNTER :
Kill The Body and The Head will Die.
Ali-Frazier Fight.
Crazy Shit.

THE ABSOLUTE CREAM OF THE NATIONAL SPORTING PRESS :
A proper end to The '60s.
Ali beaten by a Human Hamburger.

HUNTER :
Both Kennedys murdered by Mutants.