Batman Returns

The Batman : 

Admiring your handiwork?

Oswald : 

“Touring the riot scene”.

“GRAVELY assessing the devastation”.

Upstanding-Mayor-stuff.

The Batman : 

You’re not The Mayor.

Oswald : (sickening leer) 

THINGS CHANGE…

The Batman : 

What do you want?

Oswald : 

Ah, the DIRECT approach — 

I ADMIRE that in 

A Man with A Mask!

(stops grinning) 

…….You don't really think 

You'll WIN, do you?

The Batman : 

(quiet smirk) 

Things Change.

Catwoman : 

(panting, out of breath)

 ….Meow!

EVERYTHING GETS 

BLOWN TO SHIT

MAX :

Adulation is a cross to bear. 

God knows I know.

But someone's got to supplant our 

standing in the way 

of progress, Mayor.

And don't deny it, 

Mr. Cobblepot, you've 

got the magic.

Your charisma's bigger than 

both of us. Come on down.

Oswald :

Mayor?

MAX :

Mayor.

Oswald :

Max — Elections happen 

in November. 

Is this not late December?

MAX :

Don't worry about it.

I want you to meet Jen and Josh, 

my image consultants.

Here — Reclaim 

your birthright.

Jen :

I'm Jen. Okay, let's see. 

What I'd like to do first is 

put these gloves on you.

Our research tells us that 

voters like fingers.

So if we were to just lose this...

( disgusting sexual grunting ) 

We'll do it another time.

Josh :

Not a lot of reflective 

surfaces in The Sewer, huh?

Oswald :

Still, it could be worse.

My nose could be gushing blood.

Josh :

What do you mean by that?

[ he BITES The Fucker’s nose 

off, Iron-Mike Style ]

MAX :

Everybody, back to work!

Let's make...

...A Mayor!

[ Double-Nixon Salute ]

You're right, we missed 

the regular election —

but elected officials can 

be recalled, impeached...

given the boot. 

Look at Nixon, Agnew.

Then think of you...

Oswald Cobblepot, 

filling the void.

Oswald :

…..I'd like to fill her void.

MAX :

We'll need signatures 

to overturn the ballot. 

I can supply those.

Oswald :

……teach her my French 

flipper trick. 

MAX :

We need one more thing.

Oswald :

A platform?

“Stop global warming. 

Start global cooling. 

Make The World an icebox.”

MAX :

I like it. But to get The Mayor 

recalled, we must 

have a catalyst.

Oswald :

( lost in Delusions of Grandeur )

"You're doing great, 

Mayor Cobblepot."

"Your table is ready, 

Mayor Cobblepot."

"I need you, Oswald. 

I need you now! "

"That's the biggest parasol 

I've ever seen."

Oswald :

So we need an incident like 

The Gulf of Tonkin, or 

The Reichstag fire...

….You want my old friends up there 

to drive The Mayor into

a foaming frenzy?

MAX :

Exactly. 

Oswald :

Sounds fun. But...

...I mustn't get sidetracked, Maxie.

I have my own 

things to tend to.

MAX :

"Sidetracked?" This is your chance 

to fulfil your destiny

that your parents 

carelessly discarded.

Oswald :

Reclaim my birthright, you mean?

MAX :

Imagine, as Mayor, you have 

the ear of the media, 

access to the captains of industry

unlimited poontang.

Oswald :

(gross sexual grunt ) 

…..You drive a hard 

bargain, Maxie.

Alright, I'll be Mayor.

Burn, baby, burn!