Amateurs try and take men in alive.
Amateurs usually don’t make it.
Whether You’re Dead or Alive… you’re just a dollar sign
to Jake Cahill on “Bounty Law”.
Thursdays at 8:30, only on NBC.
Allen Kincade:
Hello, everybody. This is Allen Kincade on the set of the exciting hit NBC and Screen Gems television series… “Bounty Law”.
Now, if you think you’re seeing double,
don’t adjust your television sets…
because, well, in a way, you are.
To my right is Bounty Law series lead
and Jake Cahill himself,
Rick Dalton.
And to my left is Rick’s stunt double,
Cliff Booth.
Welcome, Gentlemen, and thanks for taking the time to visit with us.
Rick Dalton :
Well, it’s our pleasure, Allen.
Allen Kincade:
So, uh, Rick, explain to The Audience
exactly what it is A Stunt Double does.
Rick Dalton:
Well, actors are required to do a lot of dangerous stuff --
Say Jake Cahill gets
shot off his horse.
Now, can I fall off a horse..?
Yes, I can. Yes, I have.
[all three chuckle]
Rick Dalton:
But say I fall off wrong
and I sprain my wrist
or twist my ankle.
Now, that can put
an undue burden
on The Production
’cause now maybe
I can’t Work for a week.
So Cliff here is meant to
help carry The Load.
Allen Kincade:
Is that, uh, how you’d describe
Your Job, Cliff?
Cliff Booth:
What, carrying his load?
Yeah, that’s about right.
Join me next week on the set of The Dick Van Dyke Show, where I’ll be talking to those comical cutups, Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie.
Till then, this is Allen Kincade signing off from Hollywood.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Gina, Gina, Gina.
The face in the misty light.
Gina, The Waitress :
Hello, Mr. Schwarz.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Hello, Gina.
I… I have a meeting with a very handsome cowboy man.
Gina, The Waitress :
He’s waiting for you in the bar.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Well… since I just finished watching a Rick Dalton fucking film festival,
I think I know who you are.
Put it there.
Rick Dalton:
Well, it’s my pleasure, Mr. Schwartz.
And thank you for taking an interest.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Schwarz, not Schwartz.
Rick Dalton :
Goddamn it to hell.
I’m sorry about that.
It’s my pleasure, Mr. Schwarz.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Call me Marvin.
Rick Dalton:
Marvin, call me Rick.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Rick?
Rick Dalton :
Yeah.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Oh, is that Your Son?
Rick Dalton :
My Son? No, that’s My Stunt Double,
Cliff Booth.
Cliff :
Yeah.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Good to meet you.
Rick Dalton :
We’ve worked together since the last two seasons of “Bounty Law”.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Yeah?
Rick Dalton :
My car’s in the shop…
so he gave me a ride.
Kurt Russell, The Narrator :
That’s a big fucking lie —
Rick got his driver’s license taken away for too many drunk-driving tickets.
Cliff drives him everywhere now.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Well, sounds like a good friend.
Cliff :
I try.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
I wanna send you greetings from my wife, Mary Alice Schwarz.
Oh, well, that’s nice.
Thanks a lot.
Rick Dalton :
Anybody order fried sauerkraut? Burn, you Nazi bastards! Ha ha ha!
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
That’s you operating the flamethrower, isn’t it?
Rick Dalton :
Oh, you bet your sweet ass it was. Yeah, yeah.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
It was you?
Rick Dalton :
Yeah. And let me tell you…
that’s one shit-fuck crazy weapon
you… you… you do not wanna be
on the wrong side of.
Mr. Marvin Schwarz,
Italian Movie Producer :
Boy, oh, boy.
Rick Dalton :
You know, I practiced with that dragon, three hours a day for two weeks.
Not just because I wanted
to look good in the picture,
but because I was…
I was shit-scared of
the damn thing, to be honest.
Rick Dalton :
Mike fucking Lewis!
Crisping them Nazis to hell!
Oh, shit, that’s…
All right, that’s too hot.
Anything we can do
about that heat?
Flamethrower Trainer:
Rick, it’s a flamethrower.
No comments:
Post a Comment