Handsome Man, Saves Me From The Monsters

Charlie Skinner was Crazy.
 
He identified with Don Quixote, an old man with dementia who thought he could save The World from an epidemic of incivility simply by acting like a Knight.
 
His Religion was Decency.
 
And he spent a lifetime fighting its enemies.
 
I wish he could be here to learn the name of his successor like I just did.
Our new boss, the new president of ACN, is MacKenzie McHale.
 
So this fight is just getting started.
 
'Cause he taught the rest of us to be crazy, too.
 
You were a Man, Charlie.
You were a Great, Big Man.

LISTER: 

You're a piece of dirty filthy cheating scum, aren't you?

RIMMER: 

Absolutement!  And that is why I'll win.

Because I have the ability to think my way round problems rather than sticking to the straight, pre- programmed lines.  

That's why men, Lister, are so better than machines.

LISTER: 

Oh, I don't know, you know.  

I had this Geography teacher, Miss Foster.  

She took us on a school summer camp trip to Deganwy.  

I had the tent next to hers, right.  

And in the middle of the night I was woken up by this really weird noise.  

•She• didn't think Men were better than Machines....

Angel and Fred are riding double through what looks like low mountain country.  Angel looks around then pulls the horse to a stop, slides off, and helps Fred down. 

Angel:  

"I don't think they followed us.  We should probably stay on foot.  In case they try to track us down. 

(Gives the now riderless horse a push to get it going)  

Come on." 

Turns to Fred and finds her staring at him. 

Angel:  
"You okay?" 

Fred claps a hand to the side of her head.

Fred:  

"Handsome man - saved me from the monsters." 

Angel looks at her with a slight frown. 

Fred:  

"Bye." 

With that she runs off. 

Angel:  

"Hey.  Wait a minute." 

Hurries after her.

Fred runs through a wooded area, past a boulder.  Runs up then slowly makes his way along the boulder and into a cave. 

(Nice guitar/woodwind score music playing here.) 

Finds Fred (now wearing a pair of crooked glasses) busily adding to the carved symbols covering the walls of the cave. 

Angel:  

"Hello?" 

Fred hesitates for a moment then continues to write. 

Angel looks around the cave. Angel:  "Hey, great place." 

Slowly crosses the cave. 

Angel:  "You don't have to be afraid of me. Really. I-I'd never..." 

He comes up on a small pool of water and his attention is captured by his reflection in it. 

Angel:  "...hurt you?" 

Fred glances back at him, the quickly turns back to her carving. 

Angel:  "So, ah... So, you don't wanna talk to me?" 

Fred:  "I can't, huh?" 

Angel:  "Why won't you?" 

Fred:  "Because - you're not real. - Or I'm not real.  *Somebody* here isn't real and I suspect it's you.  So if you're not real, that means that my head came off back there and that I'm dead now.  Dead.  And with me being dead and you not being real I can hardly be expected to have some big conversation with you at the moment, because it's just a little too much pressure, alright?!" 

Angel holds up his hands:  "Okay.  Okay." 

Fred nods and turns back to her writing. 

Angel:  "What's that you're doing?" 

Fred looks up at the stuff covering the walls.  Some of it looks like the words form the book that opened the portal, other stuff resembles mathematical formulas. 

Fred:  "Uhm, I think I saw it in a dream." 

Angel:  "You've been here a long time." 

Fred:  "Always. - Not always." 

Angel spots something.  Picks it up.  It's a California drivers license for one Winifred Burke, living in Los Angeles, brown hair, 5'6", 114 pounds, expiration date 03-01-98. 

Fred turns around with a smile:  "I had a dream.  I had a name." 

Angel reads the license:  "Winifred." 

Fred hurries over and pulls the license out of his hand. 

Angel:  "You're the girl from Cordy's vision!" 

Fred:  "What?" 

Angel:  "They called you Fred.  You were studying to be a physicist." 

Fred:  "That's my dream." 

Angel:  "You disappeared from a library in Los Angeles five years ago." 

Fred shakes her head:  "Stop it." 

Angel:  "It's not a dream, Fred." 

Fred:  "It's not?" 

Angel:  "No." 

Fred:  "And my head's still on?" 

Angel gently pushes her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose. 

Angel:  "Yeah." 

Fred smiles:  "You're real?" 

Angel smiles and nods. 

Fred's smile melts into a frown and she starts to shake her head as she moves a few steps away from Angel. 

Fred:  "No.  No, I don't want you to be real." 

Angel:  "Why?" 

Fred turning back to face him:  "Because!  You're nice, and you saved me.  And bad things will happen to you here.  (Shakes her head and looks down, twisting her fingers together)  Bad things always happen here." 

Angel:  "No, no, no. Nothing bad's gonna happen.  I-It's gonna be okay.  We-we can take you out of here." 

Fred:  "We?" 

Angel:  "Yeah.  Me and my friends.  We-we're working on a way to get out of here.  We can take you back." 

Fred:  "Can't get back.  There is no back." 

Angel:  "No, there is.  If we can open the portal...." 

Fred hurries closer:  "The portal!  She fell through the portal!" 

Angel:  "Who did?" 

Fred:  "That other girl.  I couldn't save her.  I was arrested.  They got her.  She's a slave.  She'll die!" 

Angel:  "Oh.  Cordy.  No, she's fine.  They made her a princess." 

Fred:  "They...  Really? - Oh.  (Looks down)  When I got here they... They didn't do that.  -  Well.  That's nice for her." 

Cordy is sitting on her throne.  A girl is polishing the nails on her right hand. 

Cordy:  "You're sure this is a good first date look?  I don't want to seem too easy.  I was thinking something more in a nice tailored suit - of armor. - So, so I figured we'd start slow.  A few dinners, some light conversation, nothing too heavy and *then* in three or four years, if we still feel like we're hitting it off okay, we'll ah..." 

Silas:  "Your majesty." 

Cordy:  "Yeah." 

Silas points towards the door:  "The groosalug." 

Cordy:  "Say, don't you think it would add an air of feminine mystery if I were to, you know, not be here?" 

She tries to get up but is pushed back down into her throne by a bluish hand on her shoulder. 

The double doors open and wheezing, bulky demon with horns shuffles in, a sack slung over it's shoulder. 

Cordy to one of her attendants:  "Kill me now." 

She looks back to find a handsome warrior following the beast into the throne room.  He claps the beast on the shoulder. 

Groo to beast:  "Just put those anywhere." 

Groo walks up to the throne and kisses the back of Cordy's hand. 

Groo:  "Majesty." 

Cordy:  "Oh."

Angel and Fred are walking outside between some low boulders. 

Fred:  "I've never been to the palace before.  I've seen it up there, on that hill, watching me." 

Angel:  "We just gotta find my friends." 

He slows, scans their surroundings. Two bucket-head soldiers on horseback, swords drawn come around a boulder. 

Angel: "Get down." 

Angel pushes Fred to the ground and tries to shield her with his own body, as the first guard charges and tires to swipe them with his sword. 

Angel:  "Look, you may see something that might frighten you, but I'm your friend, okay?" 

Angel jumps up to engage the guards as they come at them again while Fred runs to cower against the side of a boulder. 

The first guard charges Angel and he ducks under the sword, turns to find the second guard almost on top of him.  He morphs but instead of his usual vamp face appearing the morph continues until his whole face turns green and bumpy, framed by some almost horn-like protrusions, while his hands turn into claws. 

Fred flinches a little as Angel leaps to pull the second guard of his horse.  Angel lays into the downed guard with wild ferocity.  The guard screams as Angel literally rips one of his arms off and tosses it aside.  Seeing this the other guard turns his rearing horse, and flees. 

Angel buries his head against the guard's throat and the guard goes motionless.  Lifting his head Angel looks back at Fred, cowering against her boulder. 

Fred, shaking her head:  

"Bad things always happen here."

Break

Growling, Angel leaves the soldier and makes his way over to Fred, who tries to make herself as small as possible.  Angel leans in close to her and sniffs.  Blood is smeared around his mouth and coloring his teeth.  There is a piece of meat hanging form one fang. 

After a moment Angel abruptly turns to look over his shoulder and leaps away from Fred in a sudden flash of motion. 

Fred draws a few gasping breaths, then looks over at the mutilated corpse of the guard lying a few feet away.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Angel is sitting at the head of the conference table, tapping his fingers impatiently as he stares at the room full of empty chairs. He rolls his head, shuffles and stacks papers, then leans forward and stares at the speakerphone.

ANGEL

(impatiently presses a button on the speakerphone)

Harmony!

HARMONY (O.S.)

(over speakerphone)

I know! I called everyone. They're just...

ANGEL

(irritated)

Not here. I can see that. 
If they were here, I wouldn't be alone. 
Why am I alone?

HARMONY

(walks into the conference room)

Well, you can be super grouchy.

ANGEL

(presses a button on the speakerphone, turning it off, then looks up at Harmony)

The meeting?

HARMONY

(shrugs)

Everyone's otherwise occupado, boss. 
Wesley's stuck baby-sitting Miss "I used to rule the world, bow down before me, minion scum." 

(puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head)

Why aren't we killing her, again?

ANGEL

Gunn.

HARMONY

(sighs thoughtfully)

Maybe... 

(leans on the back of a conference table chair)

...if we had a really big one.

ANGEL

(impatiently)

Where is Gunn?

HARMONY

(stands)

Oh. The hospital still. You know, from when Wesley... 

(mimes stabbing)

and Lorne's kinda M.I.A. since...

ANGEL

Fred.

HARMONY

(nods sadly)

Okey-dokey then. 

(shrugs with false cheer and exits)

SPIKE

(enters carrying a briefcase)

Where's the rest of the crew?

ANGEL

Apparently not coming.

SPIKE

But this is an important meeting.

ANGEL

At least somebody....

SPIKE

My first official parley as a very loosely affiliated member of the... what are we? 

(puts his briefcase on the conference table)

Tell me we're not Scoobies. 

(unlatches the briefcase)

ANGEL

We don't have a...

SPIKE

A name? Well, that's probably for the best. 
You'd want to be "Angel's Avengers" or something.

ANGEL

(frowns, mocking)

"Angel's Avengers," that's... 

(stops himself as he ponders the sound of it)

SPIKE

(sits)

So what's on the agenda? 

(reaches into his briefcase)

ANGEL

(leans over his papers)

Uh, I have assignments for people...

(looks up as the sound of a pop-top opening comes from Spike)

SPIKE

What? 

(Angel glares)

I'm listening. 

(holds up a beer can)

With beer. 

(drinks)

ANGEL

(glares at Spike)

Forget it. You know what? 
This isn't a meeting. This is you being annoying. 

(stands, sighs heavily, looks out the window)

SPIKE

(grabs a paper from the stack where Angel was sitting)

Hey, bullet points. Classy. 

(pauses to read, then holds up the paper to Angel with contempt)

Why am I always reconnaissance? I should get a decently flash gig like "save the girl" or "steal the emerald with the girl."

ANGEL

(stares at his feet)

"Handsome Man, Save Me From The Monsters."

(scoffs)

SPIKE

Exactly! Or... What's that now?

ANGEL

That's the first thing Fred said to me. In Pylea. 

(paces behind his chair)

She was trapped, hiding, afraid. 
Nearly crazy. Crazy. But brave. 
I should never have let her come here. 

Bad things always happen here.

SPIKE

Hate to break it to you, mate, but bad things always happen everywhere. 
Besides, she wanted to be here. It was her choice.

ANGEL

Was it?

SPIKE

Bugger. 

(stands)

You're fixing to do something stupid, aren't you?

ANGEL

Done it. Came here. 
Spend every day lying to myself about making The World a better place.

SPIKE

Welcome to The Planet. 
We all paint on our happy faces every day, when all we really wanted is to pound the neighbor's missus, steal his Ben Franklins, and while we're at it, not think about the third of The World that's starving to death. 

(walks toward the window, looks out)

ANGEL

I'm not saying that I can fix everything. I just... I... I have to do better. 
The senior partners have a plan.

SPIKE

(scoffs)

Yeah, the prophecy. 
That ever-lovin' Apocalypse you keep going on about.

ANGEL

Yeah, which Apocalypse? The one last year or the year before that? No, the senior partners are up to something now, and I'm not waiting for them to spring it on us. 
We're through operating in the dark.

Wes and Gunn are walking through the forest. 

Gunn:  "We're lost." 

Wesley:  "Nonsense.  I've been following the sun.  We're headed due west, back toward the village." 

Gunn:  "Which one?" 

Wesley:  "Which village?" 

Gunn:  
"Which sun?  There're two of them.  
Alternate dimension?  We're lost." 

Wesley stops and holds up a hand for silence. 

Gunn:  "You're having a Blair witch moment?" 

Wesley:  "Something's hunting us." 

Gunn smoothly slides in to stand back to back with Wes.
 
Gunn:  "Palace guards?" 

Wesley:  "I don't know." 

They pivot together to survey their surroundings.  Suddenly the Angel-beast appears on top of a rock, then jumps off, knocking both of them to the ground. 

Wes and Gunn pick themselves up and turn to look at the Angel-beast, fanning out so that the beast can't come at both of them at once. 

Gunn:  
"What the hell is it?" 

Wesley stumbles on a rock and falls.  The beast runs towards him hesitating a moment at the sight of the branch that Wes is holding in front of him.  At the same time Gunn begins to pelt the Angel-beast with rocks. 

Gunn:  
"Come on!  Come on!" 

The Angel-beast turns and Wes spots Angel's tattoo showing briefly through a rip in his clothing. 

Wesley:  
"It's Angel!" 

Gunn glances at Wes and the beast leaps, knocking him to the ground. 

Gunn is straining to hold the Angel-beast off far enough to keep out of the reach of its fangs. 

Wesley:  
"Angel!  Can you hear me? Angel!  Angel?" 


Fred slowly dips her hand into a leather pouch hanging by her side.  When she takes her balled hand back out it is dripping with blood.  She slowly raises it up into the air. 

We can still dimly hear Wesley calling Angel's name, but the sound of his voice is being drowned out by a heartbeat like thudding underlying a haunting woodwind tune as the Angel-beast slowly straightens up and looks over towards the blood covered fist. 

The Angel-beast slowly moves closer to Fred and, with her fist still raised, Fred slowly backs up, leading it away. 

Wesley hurries over to Gunn and notices deep scratches marring his left shoulder. 

Wesley:  
"Oh, you're hurt." 

Gunn:  
"What the hell just happened?" 

Wesley: 
"That strange wild girl saved us - from Angel." 

Gunn:  
"Something very freaky is going on here." 

Wesley:  
 "I have a suspicion I may know what.  
Angel's vampire-self - has been sublimated somehow - by this dimension." 


He picks up a handful of wet mud and gets ready to smear it over Gunn's scratches.  Gunn holds up a hand. 

Wesley:  
"It's okay." 

Gunn lets him pack the scratches with mud. 

Wesley:  
"Only his human side as surfaced since we've been here..." 


Gunn:  
"You mean being able to walk around in the sun - seeing his reflection, like that?" 

Wesley:  
"Yes.  And now, for whatever reason he's accessed his demon, but he can't find the balance he normally would in Our World.  
His demon-self has totally overcome his human side." 

Gunn:  
"So that's what the thing inside of him really looks like?" 

Wesley:  
"In its purest form." 

Gunn:  
"That's nasty." 

Wesley:  
Can you walk?" 

Gunn:  
Yeah.

Wesley:  
We've got to help him.

The Majors Tom : GoatBoy

On December 16, 1961, The World turned upside down and inside out, and I was born, screaming, in America.

CUT: Tower Bridge – The Horse and Rider cross The Bridge, approaching the camera

It was the end of the American Dream, just before we lost our innocence irrevocably, 

and the TV Eye brought the horror of our lives 

into our homes for all to see.

CUT: The rider dismounts upon a cobblestoned street, and leads his horse past the burning shells of televisions.

FX: howling wolves

I was told when I grew up, 

I could be anything I wanted – 

A Fireman, a Policeman, a Doctor. 

Even President, it seemed. 

And for the first time in The History of Mankind, something new called 

an 'Astronaut.'

But like many kids growing up on a steady diet of Westerns, 

I always wanted to be The Cowboy Hero :– 

That Lone Voice in The Wilderness 

fighting Corruption and Evil wherever I found it, 

and standing for Freedom, Truth and Justice.

CUT: The Dark Rider throws a lighted match into an oil drum full of newspapers.

And in my Heart of Hearts, 

I still track the remnants of That Dream, 

wherever I go, 

on my never-ending ride 

into The Setting Sun.

SETH

Cain, Abel and Seth.

" Maury Gellman, Nobel Prize-winner, got his Three-Quark-Model out of Finnegan’s Wake…. The Three Quarks are major characters in Finnegan’s Wake, the two twins who are opposites, and the third twin who is both twins combined and still a third independent character.

In order to understand thoughts like that, two twins who are the opposite, and the third who combines both of them, you gotta think in a Taoist way – like the joke which goes : –

Q : ‘How Many Zen Masters Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?’

Three

A : ‘One to Change it, and One Not to Change it.’

That’s the logic of the Shem, Ham, Japeth relationship in Finnegan’s Wake, which is also the Bacon, Shakespeare, Raleigh relationship, and the Tom, Dick and Harry, and many other types of Trilogies of The Human Mind, including The Holy Trinity. “

FAIL HYDRA

"A wise man once told me that a person can do anything once they realize they are a part of something bigger. It's taken me a while to understand that. For years, I was just a face in the crowd, a history teacher who spread HYDRA's lies. They seemed too imposing for only one person to fight. But now, I'm choosing to stand up. To become a part of something bigger. I really do believe that together, we can accomplish anything. Because the truth is... 

I'm not just a history teacher. 

My name... is Phil Coulson. And I'm an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D."

SPACE

SIMMONS: 

Let's try again.

Abby :

It's not gonna work.

SIMMONS: 

Come on.

You can do this, Abby.

[BREATHES DEEPLY] 

[FIST SLAMS] 

Abby :

I didn't mean to do that.

SIMMONS: 

No, but that was impressive.

You're powerful.

Abby :

Well, not if I can't do it when I actually want to.

SIMMONS: 

But you can.

It's Mind over Matter.

Or in your case, the literal Matter that makes up your body.

[BREATHES DEEPLY] 

SIMMONS: 

Think of This Place.

You see a table, this pitcher, and outside, the stars Millions of them.

All of that, every part in the universe is made of the same thing Protons, neutrons, electrons.

And you know what's between those tiny particles? Space.

Infinite Space.

Abby :

Okay.

[SIGHS] 

Abby :

Your body is like a field of stars, but you're special.

You can control the space between the stars.

The Space between The Stars.

Imagine it.

Close your eyes and imagine it.

[BREATHES DEEPLY] 

SIMMONS: 

Now try again.

[CHUCKLES] 

[BOTH LAUGH] 

Abby :

I've never been able to hold it steady like this before.

SIMMONS: 

That's good.

Just remember this feeling.

Abby :

I lost it.

SIMMONS: 

I - It's okay.

Takes months to master a talent.

BLUE #1 :

Did you set our little healer up to fail because I think she's pretty? 

Or did you really think she'd succeed? 

You want to see me happy.

Then tell me, what does Jemma have that makes her so different makes her capable to succeed in this? 

BLUE #2 :

Compassion.

BLUE #1 :

Hmm.

Sure, We’re All Living In David Bowie’s Head Now

With his nose twitching each time he scents mischief, Major Tom of the Space Federation roams the galaxy in his flying orange. 

He and his robot partner Oddball battle with monsters and pirates, and the flying orange zooms to the scene whenever there's trouble afoot.

BASTARD

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

Hello, Agent May.

I'm Jemma Simmons.

MELINDA MAY

Agent of H•Y•D•R•A :

I Know Who You Are.

My Squad's been hunting you the past week.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

Yes, I suppose that's True.

MELINDA MAY

Agent of H•Y•D•R•A :

How did a little pop tart like you evade capture? 

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

It's good to have you back.

MELINDA MAY

Agent of H•Y•D•R•A :

[Scoffs] 

You think we know each other? 

Don't tell me you believe in that "OtherWorld" crap, too.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

It's a lot to take in, but we do know each other.

We're teammates, in fact.

You, Coulson, Daisy and Mack, me and Fitz.

MELINDA MAY

Agent of H•Y•D•R•A :

Leopold Fitz? 

The Doctor?

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

I understand he's done some bad things Here, but something must have changed him, because the Fitz I know is a kind, caring person, someone who helps people.

MELINDA MAY

Agent of H•Y•D•R•A

[Scoffs] 

Doesn't sound like any Fitz I've ever met, Father or Son.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

How do you know Fitz's Father? 

MELINDA MAY

Agent of H•Y•D•R•A :

Everyone at HYDRA knows Alistair Fitz.

Those two are inseparable.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

That's What Aida Changed for Fitz...

Can you still access Hydra personnel files? 

You're going to help me Fix This.

DAISY JOHNSON

Codename : QUAKE,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

Simmons, you're up! 

[Gun cocks] 

LEOPOLD FITZ

Director of H•Y•D•R•A :

Hello, Jemma Simmons.

Seems you finally found me.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

Fitz — 

LEOPOLD FITZ

Director of H•Y•D•R•A :

You don't get to say My Name — not after everything you've done.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Aida, she took you from me, and I came here to Rescue You.

LEOPOLD FITZ

Director of H•Y•D•R•A :

So you Kill My Father? 

Right after he tells me that He Loves Me, you murder him in cold blood as I listen.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

[Crying] 

I am so sorry.

It was an accident.

LEOPOLD FITZ

Director of H•Y•D•R•A :

Nothing that you've done has been an accident!

 

You Want to Destroy This World! 

You Want to Destroy Me! 

You Want to Destroy The Woman I Love.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

That Woman is lying to you!

None of this is Real! 

She's Not Real! 

Aida's just a - 

A Robot you and Radcliffe created.

LEOPOLD FITZ

Director of H•Y•D•R•A :

Her Name is Ophelia.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

Its Name is AIDA —

Artificially Intelligent Digital Assistant.

And stop making excuses for it! 

Radcliffe and Daisy told you The Truth! 

Please Fitz, you have to Wake Up.

LEOPOLD FITZ

Director of H•Y•D•R•A :

Get on your knees.

JEMMA SIMMONS

The Princess,

Agent of S•H•I•E•L•D :

No.

Aah! Ohh! 

Please you don't have to do this.

I Love You.

LEOPOLD FITZ

Director of H•Y•D•R•A :

And you mean nothing to me.

I want to hear you say it.

"I am nothing to you." 

Say it! Say it! - 

[Gunshot]

LEOPOLD FITZ

Director of H•Y•D•R•A :

Ah! Ah, ah, ah.

RATCLIFE, 

Cowardly, Dead Secondary-Father and Mentor to Leopold Fitz :

No. This was Never My Intention.

The Darkhold, it corrupted My Mind.

RATCLIFE, 

Cowardly, Dead Secondary-Father and Mentor to Leopold Fitz :

Please, don't blame yourself.

Go.

[Rumbling]

 

It was all My Fault.

RATCLIFE, 

Cowardly, Dead Secondary-Father and Mentor to Leopold Fitz : 

Bringing Fitz here was the only way I could truly Save Him.

I know I can't make everything that happened in The Framework right, but at least at least this way, Fitz gets to be his old self again.

You should go.

The Majors Tom : The Right Stuff

I think there is a Power Greater Than Us 

that will place The Opportunities in Our Way.

Who are you guys?
 

We're aborigines.
Who are you?
 

Me?
I'm an Astronaut.
 

Well, what do you do here, Astronaut?
 

I'm here because a buddy of mine is getting ready to fly overhead. Up in outer space.
And I'll be talking to him on that dish.
 

Fly over?
You blokes do that, too?
 

You do that yourself?
 

Not me, mate.
See that old bloke there?
He know.
He know The Moon.
He know The Star.
And he know the Milky Way.
He'll give you a hand.
He know.

We're gonna need all the help we can get.
 

Stand by for final ten-second count.
The Clock is operating.
We're underway!
Good Lord, ride all the way.
Godspeed, John Glenn.

I was brought up believing that you are placed on Earth...
more or less with a 50-50 proposition.


This is what I still believe.


We're placed here with certain talents and capabilities...
and it's up to each one of us to use those talents as best we can.
And if we use our talents properly...
I think there is a Power Greater Than Us that will place The Opportunities in our way.

Snowglobes

Feed The Birds - Mary Poppins 

(Julie Andrews) 

If you were able to get through to Coulson, 

then surely I could get Fitz 

to remember me.

Fitz is not the same.
He's different here.
 

This Reality may be upside down, but Fitz is still Fitz.
He's still A Good Person.
 

Who happens to be 

Second in Command at H•Y•D•R•A.
 

Yeah, which means he has Resources, not to mention FrameWork Expertise, 

which we'll need to get out of 

Radcliffe's H•Y•D•R•A Snowglobe. 

RIMMER: 

(On the video) .

..we see the final moments of 

Arnold J.  Rimmer.

LISTER: 

Yes!

On the video, Captain HOLLISTER is in the Drive Room 

yelling at RIMMER who is standing at attention.  

A few random officers stand in the back.

HOLLISTER: 

(On the video to RIMMER) 

Look, it was Your Job to fix it, Rimmer!  

You can't do sloppy work 

on The Drive Plate!

RIMMER: 

(On the video) 

I know, sir, and 

I accept full responsibility 

for any consequences.  

(Executes a Full-Rimmer salute.)

A blinding white light glares and everyone is blown across the room by a tremendous wind.

HOLLY: 

(On the video) 

Emergency.  

There's an emergency going on.  

It's still going on.  

Will Arnold J.  Rimmer 

please hurry to white corridor 159.  

This is an emergency announcement.

We see RIMMER as he is thrown against a wall, screaming

RIMMER: 

(On the video) 

Aaaaaiiiiiiiuuuuurrrrghhhhh... 

Gazpacho Soup.

RIMMER is blown out of shot until only his arm is visible which falls

into the shattered remains of a snow flurry paperweight 

(echoes of "Citizen Kane").

LISTER: 

Off.  

(The video stops.) 

“Gazpacho soup”?  

Why were his last words, 

"gazpacho soup?"

The Majors Tom : Capricorn One

“Yeah, man, it's like that dang old Capricorn One a good movie, but they ain't gonna fake no staying on the ground like that little dude, that old Neil Armstrong.”

— Boomhauer

My testimony in Vienna was a lie.

I lied to The World.

I'm not the only one who kept this secret.

There are many.

We were following orders, 

from the KGB, 

from the Central Committee.

And right now, there are 16 reactors in the Soviet Union 

with the same fatal flaw.

Three of them are still running 

less than 20 kilometers away at Chernobyl.

Professor Legasov, if you mean to suggest the Soviet State is somehow responsible for what happened, then I must warn you, 

you are treading on dangerous ground.

I've already trod on dangerous ground.

We're on dangerous ground right now, 

because of our secrets and our lies.

They're practically what define us.

When The Truth offends, 

we lie and lie until we can no longer remember 

it is even there.

But it is still there.

Every lie we tell incurs a debt to The Truth.

Sooner or later, that debt is paid.

That is how an RBMK reactor core explodes.

Lies.

In astrology, Capricorn is considered an earth sign, negative sign, and one of the four Cardinal Signs. 

Capricorn is said to be ruled by the planet Saturn. 

In Vedic Astrology Capricorn was associated with the Crocodile but modern astrologers consider Capricorn as Sea Goat. 

Its symbol is based on the Sumerians’ primordial god of wisdom and waters, Enki, with the head and upper body of a goat and the lower body and tail of a fish.

Later known as Ea in Akkadian and Babylonian mythology, Enki was the god of intelligence (gestú, literally “ear”), creation, crafts; magic; water, seawater and lakewater.

" Okay, here it is. I have to start by saying that if there was any other way, if there was even a slight chance of another alternative, I would give anything not to be here with you now. 

Anything. 

Bru, how long have we known each other? 

Sixteen years. That's how long. 

Sixteen years. You should have seen yourself then. 

You looked like you just walked out of a Wheaties box. And me, all sweaty palm and deadly serious. I told everybody about this dream I had of conquering the new frontier, and they all looked at me like I was nuts. You looked at me and said, "yes." I remember when you told me Kay was pregnant. We went out and got crocked. I remember when Charles was born. We went out and got crocked again. The two of us. Captain Terrific and the Mad Doctor, talking about reaching the stars, and the bartender telling us maybe we'd had enough. Sixteen years. And then Armstrong stepped out on the Moon, and we cried. We were so proud. Willis, you and Walker, you came in about then. Both bright and talented wise-asses, looked at me in my wash-and-wear shirt carrying on this hot love affair with my slide-rule, and even you were caught up in what we'd done. I remember when Glenn made his first orbit in Mercury, they put up television sets in Grand Central Station, and tens of thousands of people missed their trains to watch. You know when Apollo 17 landed on the Moon, people were calling up the networks and bitching because reruns of I Love Lucy were cancelled. Reruns, for Christ's sake! I could understand if it was the new Lucy show. After all, what's a walk on the Moon? But reruns! Oh, geez! And then suddenly everybody started talking about how much everything cost. Was it really worth 20 billion to go to another planet? What about cancer? What about the slums? How much does it cost? How much does any dream cost, for Christ's sake? Since when is there an accountant for ideas? 

You know who was at the launch today? 

Not the President. The Vice-President, that's who. 

The Vice-President and his plump wife. The President was busy. He's not busy. He's just a little bit scared. He sat there two months ago and put his feet up on Woodrow Wilson's desk, and he said, "Jim. Make it good. Congress is on my back. They're looking for a reason to cancel the program. We can't afford another screw-up. Make it good. You have my every good wish." His every good wish! I got his sanctimonious Vice-President! That's what I got! So, there we are. After all those hopes and all that dreaming, he sits there, with those flags behind his chair, and tells me we can't afford a screw-up. And guess what! We had a screw-up! A first-class, bona-fide, made-in-America screw-up! The good people from Con-Amalgamate delivered a life-support system cheap enough so they could make a profit on the deal. Works out fine for everybody. Con-Amalgamate makes money. We have our life-support system. Everything's peachy. Except they made a little bit too much profit. We found out two months ago it won't work. You guys would all be dead in three weeks. It's as simple as that. So, all I have to do is report that and scrub the mission. Congress has its excuse, the President still has his desk, and we have no more program. What's 16 years? Your actual drop in the bucket! 

All right. That's the end of The Speech. 

Now, we're getting to what they call The Moment of Truth. 

Come with me — I want to show you something. "

" I remember looking at the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia when I was a little kid. That's what I love about illusions; they're right up there in front of you but somehow you don't see them... until suddenly you do... and I saw that I lived in a world where the symbol was more important than the reality. Where the menu was supposed to taste better than the meal. They're bombing planet Hollywood... those terrorists know exactly where the power lies. None of it's real. Kennedy was a good man. Nixon was a bad man. Is that true or is that just what we've been told is true? Half of the stars in Hollywood are gay pretending to be straight... (Walt Disney) was a shit. The moon landings happened in a studio. The America I thought I lived in was a trick; I'd only ever really seen it on TV, in comic books and movies... especially movies. The Rosicrucians who built this country wouldn't know where they were if you brought them here, would they? Not until you showed them Independence Day. That night when I pissed down over Manhattan, I saw time. I saw time itself... America has been in a declared state of national emergency since March 9th, 1933, giving the president powers to suspend freedom of speech and take control away from all communications media at any time. Who cares? Bruce Willis is here to save us all. The more I looked, the less real America became. And the less real it became, the stronger it got. Planet Hollywood.

One of their agents said to me... "however things turn out, you'll be working for us." That's what I was hoping he'd say. When they discover that the liquid processors in the decoy time suit work, they'll have to call me. I'll have to give them all my technology. They haven't quite figured out how to fight the wars of the 21st century yet... too bad. My homeopathic processors will be standard military issue by 2005. I've already installed trapdoor access into all of those systems. 

By 2012 I'll have control of the entire western military industrial complex. "

Notoriously Vicious and Intemperate Disposition

She was a comely young woman and not without prospects. Therefore it was heartbreaking to her mother that she would enter into marriage with William Munny, a known thief and murderer, a man of notoriously vicious and intemperate disposition. When she died, it was not at his hands as her mother might have suspected, but of smallpox. That was 1878.

Some years later, Mrs. Ansonia Feathers made the arduous journey to Hodgeman County to visit the last resting place of her only daughter. William Munny had long since disappeared with the children... some said to San Francisco where it was rumored he prospered in dry goods. And there was nothing on the marker to explain to Mrs. Feathers why her only daughter had married a known thief and murderer, a man of notoriously vicious and intemperate disposition.