On one side is the outline of a human body. On the other side is what looks like the machinery from a generator.
Kryten: This is so strange. Mr. Lister's always been an icon of mine, and now I found he's an earlier model, and technically I outrank him. Rimmer: An earlier model? Then how come he looks so much more sophisticated than you? Kryten: Sir, just because I have a head shaped like a freak formation of mashed potatoes does not mean that I am unsophisticated. Rimmer: Alright then, why does he look more realistically human? Kryten: Humans have always found exact duplicates rather disturbing, sir. The 3000 series was notoriously unpopular. Most of them were recalled. A few slipped the net and went undercover to make new lives in society. Cat: Do you think he knows? Kryten: Unlikely. He probably reprogrammed his own memory to escape detection. Cat: This is going to crack him up, devastate him! Who's going to tell him? Rimmer: I'll write you into my will if you let it be me. Kryten: I suggest you leave this to me, sirs. I'll have a talk with him droid-to-droid. Rimmer: Okay. We'll get going and try to get out of this damn fog before it drains our solar batteries.
Rimmer and Cat leave as Lister revives.
Rimmer: What happened? What hit us? Kryten: Something in the stellar fog, sir, didn't show up on the scans. Sir, do you remember who your parents were? Lister: Kryten, you know I don't. I was found under a pool table, in a box.
Kryten:
Did anyone ever tell you what was written on that box?
Were the words "kit" or "paint before assembly"
written on the side? It's just that while you were under, we discovered something rather disturbingabout you.
LISTER-3000 :
It's that tatoo on me inner thigh, isn't it? Well, I don't really love Peterson -- he just got me so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing. Kryten: It's not the tatoo, sir. There's no easy way of breaking this gently. I'm afraid, sir, you are not human. You're a droid. Lister: I'm a what? Kryten: You're a mechanical, 3000 series. Technically subordinate to me! Lister: What does this all mean? Kryten: Well, in broad terms, I get the front seat in the cockpit, and you're in charge of the laundry!
Kryten hands Lister a basket of dirty laundry.
Kryten; And I want to see creases! Lister: Kryten, have a heart, man. I'm in major stress-related shock here. [Emotional] overload. Kryten: You're a droid -- you don't have real emotions. It's just syntha-shock. Now stop thinking like a human and go about your duties. Lister: Kryten, Why are you being so heartless? Kryten: Fine, I'll tell you. You encouraged me to break my programming and ape human behaviour.
Now I find out you're no better than I! But worst of all, the most bitter pill to swallow, for four long years, I had to hand-scrub the gussets of your longjohns.
Now, unless you want to wallow in
the eternal fires of Silicon Hell,
I suggest you bring a tray
of refreshments up
to the cockpit, pronto!
Kryten leaves. Lister looks
confusedbut resigned
to his new role.
He smells a sock
from the basket, and
the smell makes him
turn quickly away.
7. Cockpit --
Rimmer and Cat are in
their regular seats.
Kryten is in Lister's seat.
They hit another jolt.
Rimmer: What was the jolt? Cat: It's a mystery, bud. Nothing on the scanners, nothing on visual. Rimmer: It's like we've gone through some sort of energy pocket. Still, it looks like we're out of it now. Kryten: Better run a crosscheck and see if this phenomena is mentioned in of our databases.
Enter Lister with a plate. The plate has three cups and a pile of sandwiches.
Lister: Tea, all! Sorry I took so long but I didn't know where anything was. Kryten: Let me see that tray, please. Lister: Why? Kryten: That's "why, Mr. Kryten sir" ... You call those triangular sandwiches? Did you use a z-square? I think not! And the chocolate fingers display is laughable. Don't just pile them higgledy-piggledy onto the plate. Make them into an attractive interlaced log cabin structure or something. This will just not do! Kindly return to the gallery and start again. Lister: Okay ... sir. (mumbling) This doesn't feel right ... Not right at all ...
Lister leaves.
Rimmer: What a charlatan all these years.
Cat: Any idea what hit us yet? Kryten: Wait, wait, here's something. (checks computer) Reports of artificial stellar fogs which contain reality mindfields. Cat: Reality what? Kryten: Bubbles or pockets of unreality which when encountered create false realities designed to disorient and drive off potential looters. Rimmer: From what? Kryten: It's a defence device fitted to space corp test ships which are fitted with prototype drives so awesome in their power that they have to be safeguarded at all costs. Rimmer: So we just crashed through an unreality pocket? Kryten: Which created a false reality making us believe Mr. Lister was ... Oh my ...
Long pause while Kryten realizes what he's done. He nervously twiddles his fingers in an impression of Stan Laurel.
Cat: You mean he's not a ... Kryten: No ...
Lister enters again. This time the tray has a very elaborate log cabin made from chocolate bars. There are even a green tree and fence.
Lister: Tea's upstairs. Kryten: Sir, I, ah ... Lister: What do you think of the picket fence? (Kryten hides his face in shame) I'm not happy with it meself. But I'll go away and do it again if you want. Kryten: Sir, may I see your arm? (Through the rip in Rimmer's jacket can be seen undamaged skin) Lister: Smeg! It looks normal -- human! Kryten: Someone else tell him. (looking as if he could burst into tears) I've got gussets to scrub!
8. Shot of Starbug moving through the fog.
9. Cockpit --
Lister is back in his seat.
Rimmer and Cat are in their seats.
Enter Kryten with a can of beer on a tray.
Lister gives him the cold shoulder.
Kryten: I wondered if you felt like a nice cold beer, sir?
Lister takes the beer but gives Kryten a look cold enough to freeze Kryten's circuits.
Kryten: (frantic voice) Oh sir, how many times can I apologize? I have offered to mince myself. What more can I do? Lister: Don't worry -- I'll think of something ... probably involving a bowl of water, a poker, a recharge socket, and 4000 volts of direct current. Kryten: (sounding very worried) Oh! (takes his seat)
WORF: Providing security was difficult enough aboard the Enterprise. It appears to be next to impossible on this station.
ODO: It isn't easy.
WORF: I prefer a more orderly environment.
ODO: We have that in common. My people have an innateneed for order.
WORF: How do you tolerateliving here?
ODO: I make order where I can. For one thing, I have a daily routine which I follow unwaveringly. Shopkeepers on the Promenade joke that they can set their clocks by me.
WORF: Unfortunately, I have found it difficult to establish a routine here.
ODO: There are other ways to create order in your life. Your quarters, for example. Everything in mine has its specific place and it's all arranged just so.
WORF: Yes, mine too. Even with my eyes closed I would still know where everything was.
ODO: Exactly.
WORF: I would not tolerate it any other way.
ODO: I'll tell you what else to do. Make sure everyone knows they can't just drop by your quarters to say "Hello --" If someone does, whatever happens, don't make them feel welcome.
WORF: Of course not! That would only invite SUBSEQUENT visits.
ODO: Precisely.
WORF: So far, the only person who has a tendency to drop by is Chief O'Brien.
ODO: That's probably because he knows you from the Enterprise.
WORF: Perhaps if I am more inhospitable, he will stop.
ODO: Good luck.
[Odo's quarters]
(Odo trashes his room to relieve his anger and frustration, including throwing the bucket of flowers against the wall, then sits in the mess for a while.)
QUARK [OC]: I know you're in there. I heard you.
[Corridor]
QUARK: Fine. We'll do this the hard way.
(Quark picks the lock.)
[Odo's quarters]
QUARK: I knew it would come to this. You take the form of an animal, you're going to end up behaving like one. What was it? A Klingon targ, a Trellan crocodile? I tell you, this time you crossed the line. I've had it. Odo. Odo! Are you okay?
ODO: You were right.
QUARK: Oh. I take it Major Kira and Shakaar are? You really are in love. I must say, I really didn't think you had it in you. It takes passion to do something like this, and I always thought you were colder than a Breen winter.
ODO: What was I thinking? How could I have fooled myself into believing she could ever love someone like me?
QUARK: Look, the last thing I want to do is interfere with your personal life but this, this just isn't any good, for either of us.
ODO: I'll try to keep my problems more quiet next time.
QUARK: I'm not talking about the noise, I'm talking about business. I'm losing my shirt in the manhunt pool.
ODO: The what?
QUARK: Anytime there's an unusual crime committed on the station, I run a pool so that people can bet on how long it'll take for you to catch the perpetrator. It's very popular. Frankly, I don't care whether you and Major Kira end up living happily ever after or not. I just want to see the situation resolved. The way I see it, you've either got to tell her how you feel, or forget about her and get on with your life. Concentrate on the essentials. Because you can't keep going like this. It's interfering with your job. And my profits.
ODO: Your profits?
QUARK: Unless you do something about the situation, I'm going to have to stop running the pool.
ODO: I'm devastated.
QUARK: You should be. The fact that that pool exists says something about you, about who you are. People see you as the guy who always gets his man. Now you're becoming the guy who tears up his quarters and sits alone in the rubble. And no one's going to want to place bets on how long someone's going to sit around in the dark. Well, I've said my piece. Sorry for butting in. But I'm just looking out for my business.
ODO: Funny. For a minute there I thought you were talking to me as a friend.
The Dark Truth of Female Attraction - Jordan Peterson
"....I was reading this book called A Billion Wicked Thoughts, that was written by a bunch of engineers at Google, and they were looking at billions of Google searches, and you know -- there's no shortage of pornography on the internet --
And there's much less by proportion than there was when the internet was first inventedand it's so interesting because it actually turned out that one of the things that drove the development of the internet and the technology was the proclivity of young men to search out sexually provocative images that was what was at the forefront of the development of the Internet.
Extraordinarily interesting -- they were motivated to they were motivated to use it for that purpose and that provided the platform from which it emerged amazing --
Anyways, the google engineers looked at pornographic search processes and then segregated mail searches from female searches and what they found was that the male searched out images -- surprise-surprise. No one considers that, you know particularly interesting, but the females searched out literary representations of pornography .....it was written --
And so i can give you an example of that if you know about Harlequin Romances -- does everybody still know about those....?
Anybody not know about those?
Okay well they're mass market romances and of a very stereotypical type and uh -- The original ones were pretty harmless in in terms of no violence and no real sexual contact content but that was 40 years ago, and they've differentiated tremendously and now there's hardcore harlequin romances and with with particularly garish covers and then there's the old you know more tame basic sexless and aggressionless romances where everything is implied and not explicit but the explicit ones exist
So, they did a plot analysis of the typical pornographic female fantasy well --
....and it was so it's so comical because Engineers did this and Social Scientists would never do this because they'd be probably too concerned about the ethics of it or some damn thing;but Engineers, you know, they'll just plow ahead with no concern whatsoever for such things and they actually discover things that way --
....and so they they
discoveredthe basic plot
of the Female pornographic
literary-product,
and they identified --
....so basically,
what happened was, that :
"An Innocent,
well-meaning and
attractive young
woman encounters
a male, who's a bit
of a monster --"
And The Monster,
there's five types
of classicmale monster,
for all you maleswho want
to know, this, is what
you can become :
Vampire --
that's a good one, eh?
Werewolf --Billionaire,
Pirateand Surgeon -- "
Okay, so that's very interesting,
because, well, first of all
there's a Dominance thing --
I was reading this it was
just cracking me up,
I thought "Oh my god, really...?
Pirate, Vampire -- oh that explains it!"
What about all these damn vampire shows, right?
They're so popular online, they're so popular on Netflix, oh yes, and then there's The Werewolf -- there's nothing sexier than a werewolf, apparently, but I mean....
So there's predatory dominance that's implicit in that right?
With The Billionaire, it's more abstract, but clearly that's an indication of very high success in the male dominance hierarchy, so there's this desire for aggression that's in that, a real aggression, right?
And it's not surprising to me, it all it makes perfect sense --
But the basic plot is that the woman encounters this mysterious and aggressive male andtames them
That's The Female Hero Myth, as far as i can tell, it's Beauty and The Beast, and so it's....
....because well, there's no fun in taming someone who's already tame and what makes you think you really want someone who's tame anyways....?
There's no interestin that.
Plus, when Chaos manifests itself, what makes you think that someone tame is going to be good for anything and it's a real question and so that aggression is absolutely vital, it's absolutely necessary --
But because it's incredibly dangerous, which of course it is it has to be civilized,and so what happens, is that the archetypal female in these pornographic romancesseduces and tamesthe aggressive male, and that's her encounter with Chaos.
Now, it's more it's more complicated, of course, females, they're more complicated and that's exactly how it is and it's no wonder because their their livesare more complicated.
Edgar Allan Poe once wrote a short story called “The Imp of the Perverse,” about a man who gets away with murder only to blurted out his secret later in the presence of a police officer. His confession is not merely a slip of the tongue.
The murderer has no wish to confess – “Could I have torn out my tongue, I would have done it” –
Pbut he literally can’t stop himself: “The long-imprisoned secret burst forth from my soul.” Poe declared that such an impish impulse sometimes causes all of us to “act, for the reason that we should not.”
Now David Wegner, a Harvard psychologist, has proposed a mechanism for how this imp works. In an article titled, “How to think, say, or do precisely the worst thing for any occasion.” Wegner describes an “ironic process” that operates when we try to suppress a thought. He and colleagues have studied how people respond to instructions to not think about a specific thing (e.g., “Do not think about a white bear”). As people try to suppress such a thought it pops back into consciousness at the rate of about once a minute and keeps popping up occasionally for days. When subjects are asked about how they respond to this instruction, they typically report trying to put their minds on something else. This strategy sort of works because the mind can’t hold two thoughts in consciousness at the same time. Wegner points out however that in order to keep a particular thought out of mind there has to be a mechanism to detect that very thought so as to screen it. He defines this ironic process “an unconscious search for the very mental state that is unwanted.”
So in order to not think about a white bear there are two mental processes going on at the same time :
1a conscious search for distracters, and
2an unconscious search for “white bear.”
It turns out that trying to control conscious thoughts and unconscious impulses at the same time takes a lot of mental effort, which makes the control system prone to errors. The “imp” arises when the control system becomes stressed, overloaded, or distracted. At such times conscious control loosens and the unconscious thought or impulse pops out.
Wegner has studied how such impish thoughts or images leak out. For example, in laboratory experiments people instructed not to think about sex show greater arousal to sexual images than people who are given no instructions. In another experiment, people rated past romances that were secret as more arousing than those romances which were not secret. In another lab experiment, persons instructed to keep one item out of four on a table hidden from a partner were more likely to let it show than those not so instructed. Research with people who have eating disorders found that those who were trying not to disclose their eating disorder during an interview later reported more intrusive thoughts about eating than persons who were not trying to hide their eating disorder.
These ironic processes are also influenced by our social biases.
British subjects instructed to suppress their feelings about white supremacists actually moved their chairs farther away from “skinheads” in the groups they attended than those not given any instructions.
Athletic performance is also affected by these processes. Studies of golfers have shown that they are more likely to overshoot when instructed not to do so. Soccer players directed not to direct a penalty shot to a certain corner of the net focus their gaze on that very spot. Even a simple motor task such as holding a weight by a string is affected by this ironic process.
People instructed to avoid making the weight swing a particular direction frequently swing the pendulum in that very direction. The effect is more pronounced when the subject is distracted by counting backwards at the same time.
Worrying is also an example of the ironic process. Try putting a worry out of your mind when you are tired. Try forcing yourself to go to sleep when you have a “big day tomorrow.” Try not thinking about an itch after you have noticed it. Each of these tasks is made harder the more you try not to focus on it.
Wegner points out that ironic processes do not usually control our lives, and most of the time we do just fine suppressing unwanted impulses, emotions, thoughts, and sensations. It is only when we are stressed out,overloaded, or distracted, that the control breaks down and we become like Poe’s murderer, perversely thinking about or doing the very thing we are trying to stop. At such times we would probably do better to stop trying so hard to control our thoughts and/or impulses, as the urge to control them adds to the stress that lowers our control.
Citations
Wegner, D. 2009. ‘How to think, say, or do precisely the worst thing for any occasion.’
When The Young Manbegs for a second chance he is answered with a string of reasons, drawing on West Asian folklore, why this would be useless. Among them is the accusation that 'Thou hast been to me like the tree that said to its woodcutters,
"If something of me were not in your hands, ye had not fallen upon me".'
This refers to the fact that the axes of the woodmen have wooden shafts and the trees have therefore contributed to their own doom. A number of proverbs derive from the story, with the general meaning of being to blame for one's own misfortune. They include the Hebrew 'the axe goes to the wood from whence it borrowed its helve,' of which there are Kannada and Urdu equivalents, and the Turkish 'When the axe came into the Forest, the trees said "The handle is one of us".'
In the Greek cultural area, which at one time included all of West Asia, there were three fables dealing with the relations between trees and woodcutters. In one of these, numbered 302 in the Perry Index, the oaks complain about their treatment to Zeus, the king of the gods, who answers that they have only themselves to blame for supplying the wood for their axe staves.
A different fable of similar meaning is The Eagle Wounded by an Arrow, numbered 276 in the Perry Index. In it an Eagle complains of being wounded by an arrow vaned with its own feathers.
Commentaries on these fables point out that suffering is increased by the knowledge that it is one's own fault.
Trust Betrayed
In another variant of the theme, a woodman comes into the forest and begs the trees 'to give him a handle made of the hardest wood.
The other trees selected the wood of the wild olive. The man took the handle and fitted it to his axe. Then, without a moment's hesitation, he began to chop down the trees' mighty branches and trunks, taking whatever he wanted. The oak tree then said to the ash, 'It serves us right, since we gave our enemy the handle he asked for!'
This text comes from the Mediaeval Latin fable collection of Ademar of Chabannes, who comments upon it, 'You should think twice before offering anything to your enemies' (Ut cogites ante ne hosti aliqua praestes).
This version was taken up early by the Anglo-French poet Marie de France and was also preferred by 15th century collectors of fables in European vernaculars like Heinrich Steinhowel and William Caxton. During Renaissance times it was made the subject of poems by the German Neo-Latinists Hieronymus Osius and Pantaleon Candidus.
Jean de la Fontaine also made it the subject of his La forêt et le bûcheron (Fables X11.16), translated by Elizur Wright as "The Woods and the Woodman". In his telling, the woodman breaks his promise to work further off and not harm his benefactors. A version based on this was set for accompanied children's voices by the composer Rudolf Schmidt-Wunstorf (b. 1916).
This final fable was retold by Rabindranath Tagore in a six-line poem included in his Bengali collection Kanika (1899). Later, he condensed it as Poem 71 in his English-language collection Stray Birds (1916) :
The woodcutter's axe begged for its handle from The Tree.
The Tree gave it.
In the Bengali collection, the poem was titled "Politics", and with thisclue the reader was expected to interpret the fable in the context of the timeas a parable of the imperial stripping of Indian resources.
