The Chamber of Marvels

FLOORBOARDS CREAK

Woman of The House :

Ohh. When did you get in?

I didn't hear you.

SHE GROANS

Woman of The House :

Close the curtains, would you, love?

FLOORBOARDS CREAK

SHE GASPS

Woman of The House :

Who are you?

DRACULA :

Er...S-sorry. 

I didn't mean to disturb you.

Woman of The House :

What are you doing here?

Who are you? 

DRACULA :

Um...

Woman of The House :

Are you a friend of Bob's?

Oh, God, did you have to 

bring him home? Sorry.

DRACULA :

He invited me in.

Woman of The House :

SHE SIGHS

What's the state of him?

DRACULA :

He's downstairs.

Woman of The House :

Drunk?

DRACULA :

Well, that's certainly

one way of putting it.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Woman of The House :

What the bloody hell is going on?

DRACULA :

Shh...

Woman of The House :

Bob? Where's Bob?

Wh...?

What have you done to me fridge?

DRACULA :

Is the fridge the white box?

Woman of The House :

Yeah.

DRACULA :

Bob's in the fridge.

Took a bit of...of folding.

HE SIGHS

Look at her.

HE CHUCKLES

So, so beautiful.

HE SIGHS

HE CHUCKLES

SHE GASPS

Woman of The House :

He's alive.

DRACULA :

Oh, please, you mustn't worry.

He definitely isn't.

Just a bit restless.

HELICOPTER BUZZES OVERHEAD

Van Helsing :

Welcome to England, 

Count Dracula.

What kept you?

Are you hungry?

DRACULA :

Agatha!

Van Helsing :

No...

DRACULA :

How long?

Van Helsing :

Do you need to feed now?

DRACULA :

How long was I in the water?

Van Helsing :

123 years.

DRACULA :

HE LAUGHS

Is that all?

Van Helsing :

I'm sorry?

DRACULA :

HE LAUGHS

Ah! You've been busy.

I like the flying thing.

What about this one over here?

Does that fly, too?

Van Helsing :

No, that doesn't fly.

OK, I think we've got this.

You can head back.

PILOT ON RADIO: 

Roger that.

DRACULA :

You're not her, are you?

But it's the same bloodline.

Unmistakable.

HE SIGHS

May I see that?

Van Helsing :

Stand your ground, soldier!

It's not a weapon.

DRACULA :

No, of course not.

It's a camera. May I see it?

Van Helsing :

Give it to him.

Yep.

DRACULA :

Boo!

Van Helsing :

How did you recognise it?

Can't look like any camera

you've ever seen.

DRACULA :

I've been around since 

the 15th century.

Things Change.

You get used to it.

HE LAUGHS

You do seem to be 

accelerating, though.

Very good.

Smile.

HE SIGHS

Please.I'm sure you have a very 

pretty smile. May I see it?

Want to do it together?

Hmm?

Yeah?

Ah. Smile.

There. Smile.

Drop your weapon! 

Drop yours!

Drop it! 

DRACULA :

Drop yours!

Now, please, have mercy and smile.

I've been sleeping underwater

for more than a century.

There are many advantages

to being a vampire,

but it does make it hard

to be a morning person.

There. That's better.

You see? I'm not so bad after all.

Man down! 

DRACULA :

Smile.

Drop that weapon! 

Van Helsing :

Don't shoot him!

Do not shoot him!

I said drop it! 

DRACULA :

Smile.

Drop it now! 

DRACULA :

No. I can hear your pulse.

HE CHUCKLES

It's very lively now.

HE CHUCKLES

Van Helsing.

HE SIGHS

Descendent, I assume?

Van Helsing :

Sister Agatha Van Helsing

was my great-great-aunt

on my father's side.

DRACULA :

I really liked her.

Van Helsing :

By my understanding,

you killed her.

DRACULA :

Killing is Healthy Competition.

Mercy is Disrespect.

Oh! Oh!

SOLDIER: 

Go, go! Follow your orders!

DRACULA :

FLICKS LIGHT SWITCH

I like the noise it makes.

That's a nice touch.

SHE WHIMPERS

DRACULA :

Listen...he's really not 

worth your Sympathy.

He enjoyed hitting you, 

you know.

I've acquired some of 

your husband's memories.

I think you would say that 

I've downloaded them.

Woman of The House :

How?

DRACULA :

Orally. May I?

FRIDGE RATTLES

SLICING

SHE GASPS —

SQUIRTING

DRACULA :

Kathleen, isn't it?

WATER RUNS

Woman of The House :

Yeah.

DRACULA :

What's wrong with 

Your Servants, Kathleen?

Is it their day off?

I'm assuming you have Staff.

You're clearly very wealthy.

Woman of The House :

Wealthy?

DRACULA :

HE LAUGHS

Yes! Well, look at all this stuff.

All this food.

The moving picture box.

Um, and that thing outside.

Bob calls it, um... a car.

Is that yours? 

Woman of The House :

Yeah.

DRACULA :

And this... Treasure-Trove 

is Your House.

Woman of The House :

It's a dump.

DRACULA :

It's amazing.

Kathleen, I've been a 

nobleman for 400 years.

I've lived in castles and palaces among 

the richest people of any age.

Never, never have I stood 

in greater luxury than 

surrounds me now.

This is a Chamber 

of Marvels!

There isn't a King or Queen or Emperor that I have ever known, or eaten, who would step into this room and ever agree to leave it again.

I knew The Future 

would bring Wonders.

I did NOT know it would make them ordinary.

Woman of The House :

400 years?

DRACULA :

Oh, sorry. Uh, 500, actually.

I slept in. 

Woman of The House :

Who are you?

DRACULA :

I'm a vampire.

No, no, don't be silly, Kathleen.

You know it's True.

People always know.

Trust the hairs on the back of your neck.

I'm The Reason you have them.

Now...There usually are questions.

Woman of The House :

Um...

Do you have a reflection?

DRACULA :

I'm sorry? 

Woman of The House :

In The Mirror.

They don't have reflections in the films, vampires.

DRACULA :

Do I look like someone who can't 

see himself in the mirror? Hmm?

Woman of The House :

Er...

DRACULA :

Most of the vampire legends 

are wrong...or misunderstood.

But mirrors...

I don't see any less in a mirror 

than you do.

I see more.

Ah!

MUSIC: 

Intro to Beethoven's 5th Symphony

Ah, no!

HE LAUGHS

Do you have an orchestra?

PHONE BEEPS

Hello?

Oh.

HE BURPS

Telephone. 

Thank you, Bob.

FLOORBOARDS CREAK

BANGING AND SCRAPING

Who else is up there?

FOOTSTEPS

Argh!

HE SIGHS

PHONE RINGS

PHONE RINGS

Van Helsing :

Get in The Box.

Funny little things like tiny toadstools are sometimes 

to be found on dead board or on decaying leaves. 

These little growths are called Mixys. Part of their life they are vegetables 

and part of their life they are animals and probably 

they will be minerals too if they could.

As you see them now they are vegetable — each tiny toadstool 

becomes covered with little cells and these are blown away by the wind.

If they fall into water they turn into animals — 

tiny water creatures with a little tail to help them swim about.

To get some idea of how tiny they are, look at this picture : 

the thing like a bargepole in the front is a human hair and yet 

even at this magnification, the mixys are those tiny specks 

moving about in the background almost too small to see.

 The only things tiny enough for the mixys to eat are bacteria, 

and as these are usually found near decaying meat.

 The mixys gather round any floating rubbish. 

While it is in this form each mixy has the power of splitting in half 

and becoming true mixes and at this rate they mounted by rapidly suddenly the mixer draws in its tail and changes into quite a different form it is still an animal but has no fixed shape and eats by surrounding its food it continues to like bacteria but now however it does not take the meat but ends a drop of water as an aid to digestion the mixers now begin to join together first into pairs and then into parties only pairs are eligible for joining a group Sarah if a mixie has been so bad-tempered that it has failed to find a partner it is not allowed to become one of the party but is eaten up this is a far greater encouragement to matrimony than any texts are bachelors when the party of the mixes is large enough it decides to leave the water and adventure onto dry land the mixer now turns back from being an animal into being a plan together it is a most peculiar creature for his body has absolutely no support such as skin or burns it is quite fluid and the shape is always changing as it flows along in the moving shape however our channels whose contents flow forwards stop and then flow backwards to see this movement follow the course of one black speck this couple in the middle are a good example this a being and flowing cause the mixer to advance like the sea in waves when two mixes meet they immediately join forces and flow away together the mixi has now eyes yet it can detect light which it dislikes for it withdraws immediately in the same way the mixer has no sense of smell yet it can find out it's food usually an decaying leaf or piece of wood for the mixes are first-class scavengers notice how it Quivers with delight over a good meal one branch of the mixi family dines exclusively on dirt stores when for an experiment adapt of arsenic was put in front of a mixer it failed to detect the poison flowed right over it and was obviously taken very ill on the other hand another mixer faced with the drop of epsom salts immediately retreated leaving behind in its hair a lot of good food that it had already swallowed mix is like moisture and in summer when there is none to be had they dry up into a hard brittle mess which is dark in color they can remain in the state of suspended life for years if necessary but usually in the autumn rains they come to life again more full of vitality than ever the goal of winter has no fears for them they may be frozen solid for weeks but at the first four they are active and alive again naturally they are now very hungry and the ravenous group of mixes on the right balanced its way over a single thread of cobweb to get at the delicious mushroom on the left suddenly the group of mixes begins at our dining hillocks which proved to be supported on stems and which are like tiny toadstools these are the fruit of the mixes as they ripen they grow darker soon they are covered with tiny cells some mixes trust the wind to scatter these cells abroad but others have a kind of spring in the stock which Chuck's the ripe cells far and wired many of these cells will die but many live as vegetables and animals to make again some of nature's loveliest atoms the magic mixes

Sineya

We enjoin that We may 

inhabit The Vessel --

The Hand... Daughter of Sineya... First of The Ones...

(Fade in on Buffy sleeping on the sofa, covered with a green blanket. We see that she still has the cut on her forehead that she got in "The Yoko Factor.")

ANYA: (whispers offscreen) 

Buffy! Wake up!)

(Buffy opens her eyes. She's lying on her bed in the dorm room, on her side, facing Willow's bed. The cut on her forehead is gone. She frowns.)

(sh*t of Anya lying in Willow's bed, under the covers.)

ANYA: (whispers) Buffy, you have to wake up right away!

BUFFY: I'm not really in charge of these things. (Closes eyes)

ANYA: (anxious) Please wake up. Oh please.

BUFFY: (opens eyes) I need my beauty sleep. So stop it, okay? (Rolls over onto her back)

(The creature is hanging from the ceiling above her. It snarls at her.)

(Cut to Buffy in her bed in Joyce's house, sitting up startled. The covers are rumpled around her. She lies back.)

(Cut to Buffy standing in the doorway of the bedroom, looking at the bed.)

BUFFY: Faith and I just made that bed.

(sh*t of the bed, still rumpled but now without Buffy in it.)

TARA: (offscreen) For who?

(Buffy frowns, looks to her left.)

BUFFY: I thought you were here to tell me.

(sh*t of Tara with her hair up, facing Buffy.)

BUFFY: (looking back at bed) The guys aren't here, are they? We were gonna hang out (looks at Tara) and, watch movies t-

TARA: You lost them.

BUFFY: No. (Looks confused) No. I think they need me to find them.

(sh*t of the digital alarm clock next to the bed, showing 7:30 AM.)

BUFFY: (upset) It's so late.

TARA: Oh ... that clock's completely wrong. Here.

(sh*t of Tara's hands holding out the Tarot card "Manus" (the hands). It has a picture of two hands crossed, one open, the other balled into a fist.)

BUFFY: I'm never gonna use those.

(Buffy's face in profile. Tara's face out of focus in background.)

TARA: You think you know ... what's to come ... what you are. You haven't even g*n.

(sh*t of the bed, now neatly made.)

(Buffy frowns.)

BUFFY: I think I need to go find the others.

(She leaves.)

TARA (softly) Be back before dawn.

(Fade to a school hallway. Can't tell if it's Sunnydale High or the college. It seems to have elements of both. Buffy walks through the halls wearing a flowered dress. She speaks to a random guy walking past.)

BUFFY: Have you seen my friends? (He shakes his head and walks on) They wouldn't just disappear.

(She looks around, walks down the halls. We see a row of lockers. Suddenly 

Buffy notices a hole in the wall. The plaster is torn back, revealing a layer of bricks with a face-sized hole. She walks over to it.)

BUFFY: Mom?

(Joyce's face appears in the hole.)

JOYCE: Oh, hi, honey.

BUFFY: Why are you living in the walls?

JOYCE: Oh, sweetie, no, I'm fine here. Don't worry about me.

(Buffy frowns, tries to see inside the hole.)

BUFFY: It looks dirty.

JOYCE: Well, it seems that way to you. (Smiling) I made some lemonade, and 

I'm learning how to play mah-jongg. You go find your friends.

BUFFY: I, I think they might be in danger.

(Joyce starts to laugh. Buffy looks confused.)

JOYCE: I-I'm sorry, dear. (Giggling) Um, a mouse is playing with my knees.

BUFFY: I, I really don't think you should live in there.

(Suddenly she looks over and sees Xander climbing up some stairs. Looks like the stairs leading to the library in UC Sunnydale.)

JOYCE: Well ... you could ... probably break through the wall. (Buffy walks toward stairs. Joyce watches her go)

(sh*t of Buffy's feet, wearing sandals, walking slowly down a hall.)

(sh*t of two men sitting at a conference table, facing each other, in a room with high ceilings and plain gray walls. On the left wall is a big map of the world. On the right, a row of cabinets. There are two empty chairs. 

In the foreground we still see Buffy's feet.)

(Man on the left speaks. It's Riley.)

RILEY: Hey there, k*ller.

BUFFY: (offscreen) Riley? You're back.

RILEY: I never left.

(Buffy's feet walk closer, as does the camera angle.)

BUFFY: (offscreen) But how did the debriefing go?

RILEY: I told you not to worry about that. It went great. They made me surgeon general.

(sh*t of Buffy looking surprised.)

BUFFY: Why didn't you come and tell me? We could have celebrated.

(sh*t of Riley sitting in the chair, wearing a suit.)

RILEY: Oh. (Looks at the other man ) We're drawing up a plan for world domination. (Looks back at Buffy, pleased.) The key element? Coffeemakers that think.

(Buffy frowns.)

BUFFY: World domination? I-is that a good?

RILEY: Baby, we're the government.

(He swings around in his chair to strike a James Bond-like pose. The camera sh**t him from below, through the glass tabletop. On the table we see a g*n.)

RILEY: It's what we do.

OTHER GUY: She's uncomfortable with certain concepts. (He's wearing a suit too, with no jacket.) It's understandable. Aggression is a natural human tendency. (Looks at Buffy) Though you and me come by it another way.

(sh*t of Buffy with the dark-haired creature behind her.)

BUFFY: We're not demons.

OTHER GUY: Is that a fact?

(sh*t of Buffy. The creature is gone.)

RILEY: 

Buffy, we've got important work here. 

(Same camera angle on Riley, 

the gun prominent in the foreground.) 

A lot of filing, giving things names.

BUFFY: (looks at other guy) 

What was yours?

OTHER GUY: 

Before Adam? (Shakes his head. 

Suddenly the lighting turns blue) 

Not A Man among us can remember.

(Buffy looks around at the blue lighting. In the background we see shadows moving; we hear noises like emergency doors slamming shut.)

COMPUTER VOICE: 

The Demons have escaped. 

Please run for your lives.

ADAM: 

This could be Trouble. (He and Riley stand)

RILEY: 

We better make A Fort.

ADAM: (nodding) 

I'll get some pillows. (Leaves)

(Buffy looks very nervous. Shadowy figures behind her seem to be moving closer. She looks down and sees her w*apon bag lying at her feet. Looks up.)

BUFFY: (gasping anxiously) Wait! I have weapons!

She sits on the floor and opens the bag. It's full of mud. 

Buffy frowns, putting her hands in the mud and moving them around. 

Lifts her hands, covered in mud. Brings them up and smears the mud on her face. Reaches in for more, rubs it all over her face as the colors invert again like a photo-negative.)

(Suddenly the color returns to normal and Buffy looks up 

with her "I'm gonna kick your ass" expression.)

RILEY: (offscreen) 

Thought you were looking for 

your friends. Okay, killer...

(shot of Riley wearing regular civilian clothes)

RILEY: ...if that's the way you want it. 

I guess you're on your own. (Walks off.)

(Buffy's still on the floor in the gray room surrounded by blue light. 

Suddenly a beam of sunshine lights her. She gets up and walks off.)

(Fade to Buffy's feet walking along a hallway, which turns to rippled sand like on a beach. She walks past a palm tree and is in the desert from before: rocks, scraggly bushes, sand. Again we hear the woman humming. 

Buffy walks down a hill. The camera zooms out and we can see more of the same landscape with mountains in the distance. A breeze ruffles her hair and dress.)

BUFFY: 

I'm never gonna find them here.

(She looks up and sees Tara far off, walking toward her. 

Tara has her hair up, wears a long pink skirt 

and matching top that exposes a lot of her stomach.)

TARA VOICEOVER: 

Of course not. That's the reason you came.

(Tara fades out and reappears closer, 

then this repeats. She stops walking.)

(shot of Buffy and Tara standing about thirty feet apart, facing each other with miles of desert stretching out behind them.)

BUFFY VOICEOVER: 

You're not in my dream.

TARA VOICEOVER: 

I was borrowed.

(shot of Tara standing with big rocks behind her. 

She wears a gold necklace.)

TARA: 

Someone has to speak for her.

(shot of Buffy standing with rocks, bushes and mountains behind.)

BUFFY: 

Let her speak for herself. 

(We see the dark-haired creature walking up behind her.) 

That's what's done in polite circles.

(The creature moves around to in front 

of Buffy and we finally get a good look at her. 

It's a dark-skinned woman with dreadlocks and long sharp fingernails.

Her face is painted with white or grayish paint, 

lines of black paint across her eyes, and she wears rags. 

She crouches low and walks around Buffy 

like a wild animal. She looks like a cavewoman.)

BUFFY: 

Why do you follow me?

(The woman shakes her head.)

TARA: (offscreen) 

I don't.

BUFFY: 

Where are my friends?

(Shot of the woman backing away from Buffy, 

still crouching down low.)

TARA: (offscreen) 

You're asking the 

wrong questions.

BUFFY: (firmly) 

Make her speak.

(The woman shakes her head again.)

TARA: (offscreen) I have no speech. No name.

I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound. (The woman straightens up and looks 

Buffy in the eye.)

TARA: 

I am Destruction. 

Absolute ... alone.

(Buffy frowns.)

BUFFY: 

The Slayer.

(The other woman looks at her.)

Tara: (offscreen) The first.

(sh*t of Buffy's hand, holding a bunch of Tarot-shaped cards. In the one on top we see a scene of Giles, Buffy, Willow, and Xander in Joyce's living room watching TV.)

(sh*t of Buffy looking at the card in her hand, with the mountains behind her.)

BUFFY: 

I am not alone.

(sh*t of Tara in the background, the First Slayer in the middle ground, and 

Buffy's back in the foreground.)

TARA: The Slayer does not walk in this world.

BUFFY: I walk.

(Side sh*t of the three of them.)

BUFFY: I talk. I shop, I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back.

(sh*t of the First Slayer lifting her chin in anger.)

BUFFY: (offscreen) There's trees in the desert since you moved out. 

(The First Slayer shakes her head) 

And I don't sleep on 

a bed of bones.

(sh*t of Buffy's face.)

BUFFY: (firmly) Now give me back my friends.

(The First Slayer speaks in a very low, hoarse voice.)

FIRST SLAYER: No ... friends! Just the k*ll.

(sh*t of Buffy watching her.)

FIRST SLAYER: We ... are ... alone!

(The bald guy leans in between Buffy and the First Slayer, holding up two slices of cheese. He grins and shakes the cheese at Buffy, then retreats offscreen.)

BUFFY: 

That's it. I'm waking up.

(The First Slayer att*cks her, pushes her to the ground and tries to bash her head on it. African drum music begins.)

(Buffy rolls the First Slayer off her and kicks at her. They both get up. 

The First Slayer punches her.)

(Long sh*t of Buffy falling backward from the punch, slow-motion. No music.)

(Music resumes and the action returns to real-time. The First Slayer tries to punch down but Buffy rolls to her feet and kicks her in the back. She kicks again but the First Slayer ducks. Buffy punches.)

(Long sh*t of the First Slayer falling backward from the punch, slow-motion. No music. The first Slayer starts to get up.)

(One last drum-b*at as the action returns to real-time. The First Slayer gets up. Faceoff.)

(sh*t of Buffy shaking her head.)

BUFFY: 

It's over. (Woman humming begins again. First Slayer shakes her head) 

We don't do this any more.

(Drums begin again. The First Slayer grabs her again and they roll down a sandy hill, clutching each other and rolling over and over as the drums continue.)

BUFFY VOICEOVER: 

Enough!

(Cut to Buffy waking up on Joyce's floor. She lifts her head and looks around. Pan across Giles, Willow and Xander sleeping in their spots. Buffy groans and starts to get up.)

(Growl.)

(The First Slayer lands atop Buffy and starts stabbing repeatedly at the floor with her stake. sh*t of Buffy lying underneath the First Slayer, rolling her eyes.)

BUFFY: 

Are you quite finished?

(First Slayer pulls her stake out of the floor.)

BUFFY: 

It's over, okay? 

I'm going to ignore you, and 

you're going to go away.

(The First Slayer pulls back and Buffy sits up, then stands.)

BUFFY: 

You're really gonna have 

to get over the whole ... 

primal power thing. 

(walks toward the sofa)

(shot of the First Slayer 

staring at her.)

BUFFY: (over her shoulder) 

You're not The Source of Me.

(She picks up her blanket and sits back down on the sofa next to Willow. 

Another sh*t of the First Slayer staring at her.)

BUFFY: 

Also, in terms of hair-care, 

you really wanna say, 

what kind of impression 

am I making in 

The Workplace? '

Cause-

The Express

Murder on the Orient Express - Train departing

express (v.1)

late 14c., "represent in visual arts; put into words," from Old French espresser, expresser "press, squeeze out; speak one's mind" (Modern French exprimer), Medieval Latin expressare, frequentative of Latin exprimere "represent, describe, portray, imitate, translate," literally "to press out" (source also of Italian espresso); the sense evolution here perhaps is via an intermediary sense such as "clay, etc., that under pressure takes the form of an image," from ex "out" (see ex-) + pressare "to press, push," from Latin premere "to press, hold fast, cover, crowd, compress" (from PIE root *per- (4) "to strike"). 

Related: Expressed; expresses; expressing; expressible.

also from late 14c.

express (adj.)

late 14c., "stated explicitly, not implied, clearly made known" from Old French espres, expres (13c.), from Latin expressus "clearly presented, distinct, articulated precisely," past participle of exprimere (see express (v.1)). Also late 14c. as an adverb, "specially, on purpose;" it also doubled as an adverb in Old French. An express train (1841) originally was one that ran to a certain station.

also from late 14c.

express (v.2)

"to send by express service," 1716, from express (n.).

also from 1716

express (n.)

1610s, "special messenger," from express (adj.). Sense of "business or system for sending money or parcels" is by 1794.

also from 1610s

Entries linking to express

ex- 

word-forming element, in English meaning usually "out of, from," but also "upwards, completely, deprive of, without," and "former;" from Latin ex "out of, from within; from which time, since; according to; in regard to," from PIE *eghs "out" (source also of Gaulish ex-, Old Irish ess-, Old Church Slavonic izu, Russian iz).

In some cases also from Greek cognate ex, ek. PIE *eghs had comparative form *eks-tero and superlative *eks-t(e)r-emo-. Often reduced to e- before -b-, -d-, -g-, consonantal -i-, -l-, -m-, -n-, -v- (as in elude, emerge, evaporate, etc.).

*per- (4)

Proto-Indo-European root meaning "to strike," an extended sense from root *per- (1) "forward, through."

It forms all or part of : compress; depress; espresso; express; impress (v.1) "have a strong effect on the mind or heart;" imprimatur; imprint; oppress; oppression; pregnant (adj.2) "convincing, weighty, pithy;" press (v.1) "push against;" pressure; print; repress; reprimand; suppress.

espresso

expression

expressive

expressly

expressway

inexpressible