“It’s Probably Just a Flock of Birds or Something.”

“It’s Probably Just a Flock of Birds or Something.”

— Spider-Man : Far From Home 

• Well, when someone writes about an incident AFTER it's happened, that is ‘History.’

• But when The Writing comes FIRST, that's ‘Fiction.’ 

• If we'd have fallen into The Master's trap, we would have BECOME fiction. 

The Secret Origin of Professor Mysterio S. Darko

Theorising the one could Time Travel as a means of escaping the terminal collapse phase of an imploding MicroUniverse,

SuperHero Donald S. Darko of Earth-833 Quantum-flipped himself straight into the path of a plummeting 16-Ton Stainless Steel Rolls-Royce 747-Boeing ChangeEngine – and VANISHED!

He awoke to find himself rudderless, and adrift in The Multiverse,

Facing Mirror Universes that were NOT his own, 

And Driven by a seething resentment to visit righteous vengeance and just retribution upon entitled,  millionaire Borderline man-babies, with narcissistic expression, and regular drink to FAR in Excess of what might be considered (perhaps) to be possibly considered safe, far too often, and to an extent that could only be described in terms that either meet or superceed the level of 'frighting' or 'alarming'....

His only Guide on His Journey is Frank,

A Conjured Avatar of his own Highest Truth, and Telemetry relay'd Down Through Channels From Kether to Malkuth

Who Appears in The Form of a 6ft. Bunny-Rabbit That Only The Donald can See and Hear –

And So, Professor Mysterio Darko finds himself phase-shifting from reality to reality,

Everywhere forcing it's Knights of Most Mournful Countenance to confront their Dark-Reflected Shadow-Self w. Shield of Truth and Black Mirror'd Armour –

And Hoping, Each Time, in Taking a Fool's Leap into The Next World –

To Make Wine from Your Tears

I Told You

That He Could Fly –

Because Moms Always Have Drapes to Spare

But Some of Us,

Don't Know WHY

BOUNDARIES

Joanna :

Make everything all right with Lisa.

Steve Jobs :

You know, Joanna? Boundaries.

Joanna :

You've come to my apartment at 1:00 AM and cleaned it.

So tell me where the boundary is.

Steve Jobs :

There. Let's say it's there.

There's no reason in The World why she should be nice.

But she is.

So I helped, because somebody had to.

• Burrell Smith (who designed the Macintosh’s motherboard) decided to leave Apple in early 1985, and figured out the perfect way to quit that would “nullify the reality distortion field.” 

He proposed just walking into Steve’s office, pulling down his pants, then urinating on Steve’s desk. “What could he say to that? It’s guaranteed to work.” 

Unfortunately, Steve heard about it before hand, and seemed more excited about whether Smith would actually do it than upset about him leaving.

What's the problem?

- My problem? It sure isn't the house.

- Jo, I...

It's that you told her you weren't going to pay for Harvard.

That child.

That earnest, unironic kid.

She told you I wasn't paying her tuition?

I should have hit you with something heavy a long time ago.

Lisa told you I wasn't paying her tuition?

Andy told me that.

Which one?

Hertzfeld.

How would Hertzfeld know?

He wrote Harvard a check for 25,000 to cover the semester.

Are you fucking... He paid her tuition?

Isn't that why you just asked to see him?

No, I asked to see him about something...

Did you tell her you weren't going to pay for college?

Yes, because...

How could you do that?

Because her mother, who is also her landlord...

Hertzfeld? I was ranting.

I was just, you know... I was talking. You think I would...

I was pissed off because Lisa was trying to piss me off, Joanna.

That was her intent. I don't know...

You obviously scared the hell out of her.

Hertzfeld wrote a check to Harvard, pay for...

Is she here yet?

I'm sure she is.

Can you have someone bring her back?

Yes.

Thank you.

You know, my grandmother always used to say to me...

I don't give a shit, Yentl.

I'll have someone get Lisa.

Thank you.

And if you see Hertzfeld...

It's Andy.

Speak of the devil's chief engineer.

Go.

Come on in.

You look great today.

Thank you.

Doesn't she?

She looks fantastic. Always does. Get out.

Well, I think I know why I'm here.

Do you?

Steve...

Did you send the check yet?

Yes.

So Harvard got a tuition check from Andy Hertzfeld to pay for Lisa?

I don't think they look that carefully.

I don't think they'd notice the check didn't come from you.

Close one. This was almost embarrassing for me.

I understand how...

I'll wire you the money today.

I-I understand how you feel.

And I do apologize. I do.

But let me tell you my thinking.

I can't even think of an appropriate analogy to describe what you did.

I knew you guys would fix things. You always do.

But in the meantime, if the money wasn't there, she'd miss a semester of school.

Yeah.

And she'd have to tell her friends why.

And she needed things. She needed socks.

What?

It's cold in Cambridge. She needed warm socks.

You gave her socks?

Well, I gave her money for socks.

You don't get to deputize yourself as her interim.

You don't get to override my decisions. Do you understand?

You don't get to act like you're her father.

Somebody had to.

What the fuck did you just say to me?

I've known her since she was six.

I also consider... 

Chrisann's my friend, outside of what you and I... 

outside of our relationship.

So you're like a family adviser.

I'm a family friend.

Then you probably know that Lisa's been seeing a therapist.

Yeah.

For many years.

Yeah.

Without my knowledge.

That really wasn't my business.

I'm fascinated by what you think is and isn't your business.

Lisa's been going to a therapist and she likes it

and would love for you and Chrisann to go with her.

And the reason you know that is because you're the one that recommended the therapist.

Well, I know a guy.

No, I mean you're the one who recommended that she see a therapist.

You know what? 

It was a while ago, and I don't remember how the whole...

You told Chrisann that Lisa should see a therapist.

Steve, you're stigmatizing.

It's a perfectly norm...

It's not...

My thing was, how can it hurt?

Let's find out.

Chrisann is my friend.

What was the reason you gave?

You mean...

What was the reason you gave Chrisann why Lisa should see a therapist?

I don't remember. We were talking and I said...

It's pretty much what I just said, that it certainly couldn't hurt.

You didn't say that Lisa needed a strong male role model?

I did.

I think it's a miracle she's not robbing banks with the Symbionese Liberation Army.

There's no reason in The World why she should be nice.

But she is.

So I helped, because somebody had to.

I'll wire the money to you this afternoon.

You threatened me a long time ago.

Sorry?

A long time ago... You threatened me once.

People are attracted to people with talent.

People without it find that threatening.

Maybe you should see a therapist.

Certainly couldn't hurt.

I meant you literally threatened me.

At Flint, right before the Mac launch.

I was recompiling. I was trying to debug the voice demo.

You said if I couldn't find a solution, you'd call me out in front of the audience.

Did it say "hello"?

It did.

No need to thank me.

Why do you want people to dislike you?

I don't want people to dislike me.

I'm indifferent to whether they dislike me.

Since it doesn't matter, I always have.

Really?

I've always liked you a lot. That's too bad.

Knock 'em dead.

Thank you.

Wozniak's Cave

I sat in a fucking garage with Wozniak and invented The Future.

Because artists lead and hacks ask for a show of hands.

JOBS :

There wasn't a single fight you lost.

WOZ :

Do you concede the slots are the reason for the success of the Apple II?

JOBS :

We can't still be talking about the slots.

WOZ :

I have a point.

JOBS :

It's been seven years. 

You're still doing it. 

You're talking about the slots.

There's something wrong with you.

This argument started in The Garage.

WOZ :

What are you talking about? 

Why would you only want two slots?

JOBS :

A printer and a modem.

WOZ :

With eight slots, you...

This is a huge deal that we were able to add eight slots.

JOBS :

I appreciate the engineering, but it's not what we're doing.

WOZ :

And Thank God I won that argument...

JOBS :

 Woz.

WOZ :

Because the open system is what people love about the machine, and it's why it sold and still sells.

JOBS :

An open system. 

We're not doing an open system.

WOZ :

Of course we are. 

That's what people want, and the breakthrough on the Apple II...

JOBS :

People don't know what they want until you show it to them.

WOZ :

Serious users want to customize. 

They wanna modify. They wanna jack it up.

They want hardware engineers like me to expand its capabilities, okay?

Keyboards for music, better sound board, better display boards, improved memory cards.

And it's why there are 3,000 people here right now.

The slots are what allowed the Apple II to run, for just one example, VisiCalc, which from my guess single-handedly sold

between 200,000 and 300,000 machines.

They want slots.

JOBS :

 They don't get a vote.

When Dylan wrote "Shelter from the Storm," he didn't ask people to contribute to the lyrics.

Plays don't stop so the playwright can ask the audience what scene they'd like to see next.

 Painters...

WOZ :

Hobbyists...

JOBS :

We're on the verge of a tectonic... Hobbyists?

A printer and a modem. Two slots.

The Apple II team has my affection, but I'm not loving up a seven-year-old product at the Mac launch.

WOZ :

Computers aren't paintings.

JOBS :

Fuck you.

I'm gonna say "fuck you" every time you say that until you either die or stop saying it.

WOZ :

Steve...

JOBS :

Try it.

Steve.

JOBS :

Say it.

WOZ :

“Computers aren't paintings.”

JOBS :

Fuck you.

Yes, they are, and what I want is a closed system.

End-to-End Control. 

Completely incompatible with anything.

WOZ :

Computers aren't supposed to have human flaws– 

I'm not going to build this one with yours.

 

Sculley's The Skeptic

For Whatever Reason, Ray --

Call it Fate.

Call it Luck. 

Call it Karma --

I Believe that 

Everything Happens for a Reason.

 

I Believe, that We 

Were Destined to get thrown outta 

this dump.

RAY

For what Purpose?

PETER

To go into Business for Ourselves.

Offers RAY a swig from his bottle of 

The Magic Potion That Turns Them into Ghostbusters. 

RAY drinks.

RAY

This ecto-containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is going to require a load of bread to capitalize --

Where are we going to get The Money?

PETER

I don't know.

drinks

I don't know.

Kendrick : 

This girl supposedly has some kinda supernatural powers.

Det. Kate Lockley : 

Really?

Kendrick : 

Come on, Kate. 

Everybody knows you've gone all Scully. 

Any time one of these weird cases crosses anyone's desk, you're always there. 

What's goin' on with you?

Kate Lockley : 

Scully’s The Skeptic.

Kendrick : 

Huh?

Kate Lockley : 

Mulder's The Believer. 

Scully's The Skeptic.

Kendrick : 

Scully's The Chick, right?

Kate Lockley : 

Yes. But she's not 

The One That Wants to Believe.

Kendrick : 

And you wanna believe?

Kate Lockley : 

Oh, I already believe. 

That's The Problem.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Thank merciful God.

The Cavalry's shown up.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I hear you've been worse than usual this morning. 

I didn't think that was possible.

So I've been dispatched as the "Steve Whisperer."

This is a '55 Margaux.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It's 9:00 in the morning.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

This is a '55 Margaux.

Is it my imagination or have you started to dress like me?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It was a bad idea to have Markkula open with quarterly reports.

Instead we should have just dropped water on the audience.

You know, just big 10,000-gallon tanks of cold water, dropped from the ceiling.

Save Mike some money on index cards.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Oh, just relax.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Why?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I don't know --

No one's ever asked me that question.

There you go.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You're the only one who sees The World the same way I do.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

No one sees The World the same way you do.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I'm like Julius Caesar, John.

I'm surrounded by enemies.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

No, you're not.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

The board...

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Oh, the board. 

The board's behind you.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Only because you see to it they are.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I think it's a good board, 

but if you want me to push them out

one by one, we can talk about that.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I want you to push them out all at once... 

through a window, if it's the nearest exit.

The look on their faces when we showed them the spot --

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I couldn't see their faces, 'cause they were banging their heads on the table.

Yeah, yeah. Yesterday, the day after it airs once, the publisher of Adweek calls it the best commercial of all time.

Of all time! And it is.

And if anyone does one better, it's gonna be Chiat/Day, who the board wanted to replace, and it's gonna be Lee Clow, who the board thought was out of his mind.

Ladies and Gentlemen, 

"1984."

The first glorious anniversary of the information

purification directives.

We have created for the first time in all history a garden of pure ideology where each worker may bloom, secure from the pests purveying contradictory thoughts.

Our unification of thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on Earth.

We are one people...

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Did we use skinheads as extras?

A couple of people have told me that.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Yeah.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

We paid skinheads? 

I've got skinheads on my payroll?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

They had a look you wanted.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

The skinheads?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Yeah.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Okay, let's keep that to ourselves.

We shall prevail.

On January 24th, Apple

Computer will introduce Macintosh.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Who else knows?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Who else knows what?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

That we paid terrorists to be in our TV commercial.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

John...

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

They were wrong about the ad, but they're a good board. 

Good People.

Their only problem... 

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Their Problem is that They're People. People. 

The very Nature of People is something to be overcome.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

When I was running Pepsi, we had a lot of success focusing on 18-to-55-year-olds who weren't members of violent hate groups.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I get it.

JOHN SCULLEY,

(Sculley's The Skeptic) :

You're not surrounded by enemies.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

We're almost there.

I'm back and forth on The Dylan.

I might quote a different verse.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

What are The Choices?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

"For The Loser now will be later to win,"

which is what we have.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Mm-hmm. Or?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

"Come mothers and fathers throughout the land and don't criticize what you can't understand.

Your sons and your daughters"...

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

"..are beyond your command."

I just lost a hundred bucks to Andy Hertzfeld.

He said you'd change it to that verse.

We got 45 seconds. 

I want to use it to ask you a question.

Why do people who are adopted feel like they were rejected instead of selected?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

That came out of nowhere.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

"Your sons and your daughters

are beyond your command.

Your old road is rapidly aging."

So go fuck yourself, because my name is Steve Jobs,

and the times, they are a-changin'.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I don't feel rejected.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You're sure?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Very sure.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

'Cause it's not like the baby is born 

and the parents look and say,

"Nah, we're not interested in this one."

On the other hand, someone did choose you.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It's having no control.

You find out you were out of the loop when the most crucial events in your life were set in motion.

As long as you have control.

I don't understand people who give it up.

What inspired Hertzfeld to make that bet?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

He was warning me that being your father figure could be dangerous.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Keep your 100 bucks. 

I'm sticking with the first verse.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Good.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

What the hell does he mean?

Nothing.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I'm proud of you.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Thank you, boss.

It's my pleasure to introduce my friend and the CEO of Apple,

John Sculley.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

John?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Yeah?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Lisa made a painting on the Mac.

******

Six minutes.

You want to see Sculley?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

No.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You know all those times I told you you needed security?

Here's why.

I don't know how it is I've gotten older and you haven't.

Some deal with the devil I was never offered.

So you know what I've been thinking for the last four years?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

As it turns out, John, 

I've never known what you were thinking.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

No newborn baby has control.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

In '84, before the Mac launch. You said...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Yeah.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You said that being adopted meant you didn't have control.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

We're starting in a minute, so...

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Why do people think I fired you?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It's fine, John. It's all behind us.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Is it? Hmm?

Don't play stupid. 

You can't pull it off.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You came here to ask me why people think you fired me?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Why do people think I fired you?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Just confirm something for me, okay?

You liked the ad, right?

The commercial... "1984." You liked it.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

When are you gonna get furniture?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It's not an easy process.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

It is. You buy a couch, take it from there.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I'd be really surprised if you came here to talk about interior decorating.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I liked the ad very much.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You did?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You know I did.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You're a lying son of a bitch. 

You tried to kill it.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

It's time to take a hard look at the Mac.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It's past time.

It's overpriced. We need to drop it to 1,995.

We need to double the marketing budget, put more bodies on an internal hard drive and invest in FileServer.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Where the hell did you get the idea I tried to kill...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Lee Clow.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Lee's wrong.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

He's lying?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

He's... mistaken.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Where would the money come from?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It would come from finally getting rid of the Apple II.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

The Apple II is the only thing making money.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You agreed with the board.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I understood the board's concerns, but I...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

The board's concerns that we didn't show the product?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Among other things, but my question was...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

What other things?

I'm asking because I'm curious.

You said "among other things."

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Among other things :

It was set in a dystopian galaxy.

It took place on a planet where we don't live.

It was dark and the opposite of our brand.

And we didn't show the product.

People talked about the ad but most of them didn't know what we were selling.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

The Mac needs to sell for 1,995.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

There is no market research telling us the Mac is failing because it's overpriced.

It's telling us that people don't like it because 

they think it doesn't do anything.

It's closed, end-to-end.

We didn't know it wasn't what people wanted, but it isn't.

They want slots, they want choices, they want options.

The way we buy stereos... mix and match components.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

John, listen to me. 

Whoever said the customer is always right

was, I promise you, a customer.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

It had skinheads in it.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

She was liberating them.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Liberating the skinheads.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

The ad didn't have anything to do with fucking skinheads.

We used them as fucking extras.

Nobody even knows they were skinheads.

I'm just saying the board had concerns...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You invented lifestyle advertising.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

And our brand was my brand.

My job is to make a recommendation to the board.

We showed a lot of happy people drinking Pepsi --

We didn't say The World was going to end 

if you bought a Dr. Pepper!

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Recommend that we drop the price and double the marketing budget.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I can't.

And we showed the product.

We showed it being opened, 

we showed it being poured, being consumed.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

What are you gonna do, recommend that we kill the Mac?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I already have, Steve.

What? When?

You think the secret to your success was not assuming people knew what to do with a can of soda?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I didn't kill the ad, Steve! 

I'm the only reason it made it on the air.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Just now. An hour ago.

I'm coming from Markkula's house.

What did he say?

What did he say?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Invent something new.

I'll give you a team. You can sit in Maui.

The resorts come with couches.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Wait a minute. 

Are you saying you recommended terminating the Mac

or you recommended taking me off the Mac team?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

We bought three spots in the Super Bowl. Two 30's and a 60.

After we screened it, the board wanted that money back

and they asked me to sell off the spots.

Chiat/Day sold off the two 30's but not the 60,

and I let it be known to Lee Clow that if he didn't try very

hard to sell the last spot, I wouldn't be unhappy.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

If we drop the price and double the budget...

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Drop the price or double the budget.

The only way to do that is to take money out of the Apple II.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

The Apple II should embarrass you. It embarrasses me.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

It doesn't embarrass the shareholders.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I don't give a shit about the shareholders.

That's why I hired you, so I don't have to hear about shareholders.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

The shareholders are my problem, and the board represents the shareholders.

That's How it Works.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You sure it wasn't Lee Clow who dragged his feet selling the 60?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

At my direction, Steve.

You think he would have done that on his own, 

taken it on himself?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Yeah. I think he would've done what it took to save it from you.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I was the only thing protecting it.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You didn't want the ad because you were trying to kill the

Mac two months before it launched.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You are fucking delusional.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Can I mention something to you?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Sure.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I have no earthly idea why you're here.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

The Story of Why and How You Left Apple,

which is quickly becoming mythologized, isn't True.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I'm gonna take this to the board myself.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Don't do that.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I am doing that.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You can't.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Why?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

They believe you're no longer necessary to this company.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I get hate mail, death threats.

I get death threats.

My kids are getting taunted.

Why do people think I fired you?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Joanna's gonna call my name in a second.

Steve?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

That was unrehearsed.

Yeah, I'll be there in just a second.

I gave you your day in court.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You gave me?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I gave the board a clear choice.

I said, 

"Do you want to invest in the Apple

II or the Mac?" 

They chose the Apple II.

The same people who wanted to dump the Super Bowl spot.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

And then I got on a plane to China.

Mr. Sculley. There's a call for you on Line One.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Or I almost got on a plane, because I got a call in the lounge.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Who made that call?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Doesn't matter.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It matters to me. Who made the call?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

John Sculley.

John? If you get on that plane, 

you'll have lost your

job by the time it lands.

Steve's been calling the  board. 

He wants you out.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I left my bags on the plane.

My shit's still somewhere in Beijing.

I took a car back to Cupertino in the middle of the fucking night.

I know what time it is. I need a quorum here in one hour and I want Steve here too.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You took me off the Mac, and it was bad business.

The quorum call was a homicide.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Right there! Right there.

That's the part that's bullshit, my friend.

It was a suicide.

Because you knew your cards and I showed you mine.

I showed you mine, and you did it anyway.

What did you think I was gonna do?

I'm okay losing, but I'm not gonna forfeit.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I'm not okay losing.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

We're losing market share, and the Mac is losing money.

Our only hope is the Apple II, which is stagnating because of its soon-to-be-obsolete DOS.

Users are already rigging their machines to run with a CP/M operating system that's been built to run on Intel.

I can't put it more simply than this --

We need to put our resources into updating the Apple II.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

By taking resources from the Mac.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

It's failing. That's a fact.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It's overpriced.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

There's no evidence that it's...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I'm the evidence!

I'm the world's leading expert on the Mac, John. 

What's your resume?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You're issuing contradictory instructions, you're insubordinate, you make people miserable.

Our top engineers are fleeing to Sun, Dell, HP.

Wall Street doesn't know who's driving the bus.

We've lost hundreds of millions in value.

And I'm the CEO of Apple, Steve. 

That's my resume.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

But before that, you sold carbonated sugar water, right?

I sat in a fucking garage with Wozniak 

and invented the future.

Because artists lead and hacks ask for a show of hands.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

All right.

Well, this guy's out of control.

I'm perfectly willing to hand in my resignation tonight, but if you want me to stay, you can't have Steve.

Settle him out.

He can keep a share of stock so he gets our newsletter.

He'll have to sever his connection to Apple.

I'm dead serious. 

I want the secretary to call for a vote.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I fucking dare you.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You have done an outstanding job over the years of cultivating the press.

And by that, I mean manipulating them.

Because none of them, none of their editors, none of their editors' publishers to this day know that you forced it,

that you forced the board.

Even after I told you exactly what they'd do,

which is exactly what they did.

Unanimously.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I don't have any trouble remembering that, John,

because of it being The Worst Night of My Life.

And I forced the vote because

I believed I was right.

I still believe I'm right. And I'm right.

Now, I bled that night.

And I don't bleed.

But time's done its thing, and I really haven't

thought about it in a while.

Now, I absolutely understand why you're upset.

And I want people to know The Truth too.

It's time.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Got it.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You're gonna end me, aren't you?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

You're being ridiculous.

I'm gonna sit center court and watch you do it yourself.

Then I'm gonna order a nice meal with a '55 Margaux and sign some autographs.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Jesus Christ.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

 You want some advice, Pepsi Generation?

Don't send Woz out to slap me around in the press.

Anybody else... you, Markkula, Arthur Rock.

Anyone but Rain Man.

Don't manipulate him like that.

Whatever you may think, 

I'm always gonna protect him.

Come on, Steve.

That's What Men Do.

We can't start late.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Come on in, honey.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

It's not "honey."

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

John.

Get in. Get in. 

Get out of the hall.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I was taken in a side entrance.

I'll go out the same way. No one will see me.

How are you, Joanna?

I'm good, John.

I'm just surprised to see you.

Everyone here really appreciates the quote you gave to Forbes.

You didn't have to do that.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

My pleasure.

If you want, I can slip you in the back once the house lights go out.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

I'm just here to say "good luck."

Okay.

You just have a couple of minutes.

Would you try to find...

Yeah.

You're a good man, John.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

So I brought you a present.

A Newton.

Don't take it out of the box, you'll be able to sell it, 

which is more than I can say.

Everything all right there?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Uh, no...

Just something Joanna pointed out to me.

I missed something so obvious about...

Doesn't matter.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Look, Wall Street's gonna sit back and wait to see how you do as CEO, so don't let any fluctuation bother you for the first 12 months.

Day traders are gonna respond.

I don't need to school you.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

This your way of telling me 

I shouldn't have killed the Newton?

The most efficient animal on the planet is the condor.

The most inefficient animals

on the planet are humans.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Well, you shouldn't have killed it for spite.

That's bad business. Don't do that.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

But a human with a bicycle

becomes the most efficient animal.

And the right computer...

a friendly, easy computer

that isn't an eyesore

but rather sits on your desk with

the beauty of a Tensor lamp...

The right computer will

be a bicycle for the mind.

Do you like it?

I was giving back.

And what if instead of it

being in the right hands,

it was in everyone's hands?

Everyone in the world.

We'd be talking about the most

tectonic shift in the status quo since...

Ever.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I don't know why you've always been interested in my adoption history, but you said it's not like someone

looked at me and gave me back.

But that is what happened.

And you're telling me you have the right computer.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It's called Macintosh.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

A lawyer couple adopted me first, then gave me back after a month.

They changed their mind.

Then my parents adopted me.

My biological mother had stipulated that whoever took me

had to be college-educated, wealthy and Catholic.

Paul and Clara Jobs were none of those things,

so my biological mother wouldn't sign the adoption papers.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

What happened?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

There was a legal battle that went on for a while --

My mother said she refused to love me for the first year.

You know, in case they had to give me back.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You can't refuse to love someone, Steve.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Yeah, it turns out, you can.

What the hell can a one-month-old do that's so bad his parents give him back?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Nothing. There's nothing a one-month-old can do...

Have you ever thought about trying to find your biological father?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I've met my biological father.

For that matter, so have you.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It's called Macintosh.

Mr. Steve Jobs.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Jandali.

Say hello to John Sculley.

Jandali owns the place,

and John's the CEO of Pepsi,

but I'm trying to get him to move to

Cupertino, put a dent in the universe.

You eat vegan as well?

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You're kidding me.

No, I'll eat anything.

Why don't you start off with the Mediterranean

lettuce salad with purslane, mint...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

My sister found him.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Does he know?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

No. In fact, he bragged to Mona that Steve Jobs comes in

the restaurant all the time.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

You don't want to...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

No.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Don't you think you should talk to him?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

He'd probably find a reason to sue me.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Oh, Steve...

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

John, if you're here about your legacy, you need to form a line behind Wozniak.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Wozniak's gonna be fine.

I'm the guy who fired Steve Jobs.

Rich, college-educated and Catholic....

Steve? It's time.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I've gotta go.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

Did I do this? Screw it up?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Let's let it go now.

Has to be time.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

Come be our CEO.

Yeah. Okay.

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

It was the stylus, John.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

What?

STEVEN PAUL JOBS :

I killed the Newton because of the stylus.

If you're holding a stylus, you can't use the other five that are attached to your wrist.

Things we could have done together.

JOHN SCULLEY,

CEO of Apple Computer :

God, the things we could've done.....