The Substance of Things Hoped-for,
and The Evidence of Things Not Seen.
"It is a classic Russian technique
to blame The Other Guy
for what They are
planning to do themselves."
The West Wing: Shots Fired On The White House
I can't believe I never noticed that Charlie
is named after Martin Sheen's son.
Leo McGarry:
We weren't spying on Russia.
We were spying for Russia.
President Josiah Bartlet:
We were spying for him?
Leo McGarry:
Yes, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet:
Okay. This phone call you're going to set up with Chigorin -
it's, like, for a White House bloopers reel or something?
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg:
The substance of things hoped for,
and the evidence of things not seen.
Toby Ziegler:
Yeah, but I think what he's asking
- Bump ten -
I think what he's asking is why, on most other nights,
do you think the world's going to hell
in a hula hoop, but tonight...?
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg:
We dip twice and eat gefilte fish?
Toby Ziegler:
Suzy Creamcheese,
Do not attempt the Haggadah.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg:
I know how to bless the soup, too.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
The room is filled with people as Bartlet makes the call to President Chigorin.
BARTLET
He's on?
TRANSLATOR
Yes sir.
BARTLET
Let's go. [picks up the phone]
Mr. President, this is President Bartlet.
The agents run in.
AGENT 2
Mr. President.
BARTLET
What the hell?
AGENT 3
[running in from the portico]
Step away from the window please.
More agents run in from the Portico carrying machine guns.
BARTLET
Okay, you know what,
I'm going to have to call you back.
The agents shut the curtains
and take up positions by the windows.
AGENT 2
Oval's secure.
AGENT 3
Bamboo shoot's ready.
BARTLET
[to Leo]
Bamboo, they want me to
get into The Motorcade.
Ron Butterfield enters.
RON
Mr. President.
BARTLET
What's going on?
RON
You all right, sir?
BARTLET
I'm all right.
LEO
These people are all code word and higher.
BARTLET
I was on the phone with Putin.
RON
The translator?
BARTLET
He's got code word clearance.
RON
Three shots were fired from the street,
at least one of them hitting the press briefing room.
We've got the suspect in custody,
as well as a high-powered rifle.
BARTLET
Was anyone in the room?
RON
C.J., Toby, and Will Bailey.
Leo and Bartlet head towards the door.
LEO
Where are they?
RON
They're fine. Sir, you've got to stay here.
BARTLET
Nobody was hurt?
RON
They're fine.
Toby, C.J., and then Will come in to
The Oval Office clearly out of breath.
TOBY
Sir.
BARTLET
[to Toby]
You all right?
TOBY
Yeah
BARTLET
[to C.J.]
What about you?
C.J.
We're fine.
BARTLET
[holding up two fingers]
Will, how many fingers am I holding up?
WILL
Who's Will, sir?
BARTLET
I don't know if you've met
Ron Butterfield, The Head of My Detail.
WILL
Sure.
LEO
Lieutenant Bailey, I'm glad to see you alive,
but it's code word clearance in here,
and I need you out of earshot, okay?
WILL
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Where's Charlie?
LEO
He's somewhere in the building.
RON
We're holding people where they are right now.
The phone on the President's desk starts to ring.
Leo goes to pick it up.
BARTLET
But if he's heard What Happened,
he's going to be trying to get here...
RON
We've got to hold everybody for
a moment so that we can secure...
BARTLET
No, I'm telling you that if Charlie heard
there were bullets, he's going to overpower
whoever's trying to...
Charlie bursts through the door.
The President has a little smile on his face.
Charlie looks around and sees that
he's come in to a room filled with people.
CHARLIE
Sorry, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Come here.
Charlie moves to stand beside him.
BARTLET
It's bulletproof glass in the windows, okay.
You want to kill me, you're going to have
to do it from inside The Building.
CHARLIE
[sighs]
Thank You, Mr. President.
Charlie leaves, passing by C.J. and Toby.
CHARLIE
You guys all right?
C.J. and TOBY
Yeah.
BARTLET
I'm surprised your guys managed to keep Fiderer
in her chair. I would have thought she'd
be the first one through the d... No, here we are.
Debbie comes in from Leo's office.
DEBBIE
Are you all right, Mr. President?
BARTLET
No-one was Hurt, someone shot at
the press briefing room from the sidewalk.
DEBBIE
[concerned]
C.J. went there with Toby and Will.
BARTLET
Will's sitting right outside, and Toby and C.J.
are standing right there.
Toby and C.J. raise their hands.
DEBBIE
Ron, someone's going to report this I hope.
RON
Yes ma'am.
DEBBIE
Um, thank you, Mr. President.
[in Bartlet's ear]
We're going to need to take your blood
pressure in a few minutes.
BARTLET
Yeah.
DEBBIE
Thank you.
LEO
Ron, there were two incidents
of terrorist activity earlier today.
A bomb in Malaysia and another in Berlin.
BARTLET
This was just a crazy guy, Leo.
LEO
That was just a third on the phone in Guam.
The head of the Office of Insular Affairs
was picked off.
BARTLET
Come on.
LEO
By a sniper, Mr. President.
RON
[quickly]
Shut it down! Crash it!
AGENT
[into his wrist mic]
Crash the Oval Office.
[to Debbie]
Crash it.
DEBBIE
[into the phone]
This is The Oval Office.
Crash The West Wing.
[grabbing a
red phone off
from under a table] Nevada, bravo, three, three, one. Crash the West Wing.
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. is talking on the phone, while Carol,
and three other staffers watch MSNBC.
MSNBC REPORTER
The man fired several rounds before being overtaken by Secret Service agents and Park Police.
Witnesses say The Shooter never entered the grounds,
but at least one bullet appears to have
Struck The Window of a White House office...
C.J.
All right, then here it is.
"An indeterminate number of shots
were fired at the White House at..."
I said I thought it was three shots
but I want for the agents to...Okay,
"At 9:23 pm, striking the Press Briefing Room"...
MSNBC REPORTER
The weapon was a modified M-16.
C.J.
We haven't confirmed any ballistics.
Tell your friends to stop saying it was an M-16.
MSNBC REPORTER
There are no confirmed reports.
C.J.
All right. The President was in the Oval Office.
We've initiated A Standard Lockdown Procedure
and are back to conducting
The Business of The Nation...
I'll ask him. [hangs up the phone, to Carol]
He wants to know if the President
wants to say something funny.
CAROL
"That's twice in four years,
some of you guys must
really be mad at me"?
C.J.
Something funnier than that, but yeah.
JOSH
I got a letter today that said, uh...
"You're a lying liar. You lie
almost as well as Bartlet."
You know, black-white, rich-poor,
north-south, odd-even.
There may not be anything anymore that outpaces
the hatred the right feels for the left
or the tonnage of disrespect the left feels for the right.
Donna got a letter yesterday that said,
"I'm collecting all the guns you've banned,
and there's a bullet with your name
on it in each one."
Donna. The guy's decided to focus his wrath
on Donna.
He's never met Donna or spoken to her,
and he's never met anyone
who's met Donna or spoken to her.
How's it possible?
How's it possible that he hates
her so much?
How can you not like Donna?
She's from Wisconsin!
Anyway, 20,000 specific threats made
against U.S. targets every year,
and with all that, it's still the ones who don't give
you advance notice that you're worried about.
JOE
I asked about Terrorism before because of the lockdown. Procedurally it'd be the kind of thing they'd be likely to do
if there had been other incidents in the last few hours.
JOSH
A bombing in Malaysia and another one
in Berlin a few hours ago.
They both sit silently for a moment.
JOSH
Might as well use this time for the interview.
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Toby, sucking on a lollipop, and Will, stand inside watching T.V. as C.J. walks
in.
REPORTER [on T.V.]
...saying in a statement from White House Press Secretary C.J. Cregg that
an indeterminate
number of shots were fired at the White House at 9:23 pm.
C.J.
You can stand the egg on the equinox because that's when the sun's gravity
is lined up
directly with the earth's.
TOBY
[sighs and draws a circle with his fingers] Draw a line from the center of
the earth to
the sun, and at anytime, someplace on earth is on that line..
C.J.
Then maybe for us...
TOBY
C.J., try it. Take an egg, it doesn't work.
C.J.
That's 'cause it's not...
C.J. and TOBY
...the exact moment of the equinox.
C.J.
Yes.
WILL
What is the exact moment of the equinox?
Toby points his finger as if Will is on to something.
C.J.
I don't know... midnight?
WILL
Midnight where?
C.J.
All right, maybe it's not at the exact moment of the equinox. Maybe it's at
some point
during the equinox and you just have to keep trying, but I've seen it.
Donna enters.
DONNA
Are we playing again?
WILL
I'll get Ed and Larry.
LEO
[entering from the Oval Office] Donna, would you tell Josh we're back on?
DONNA
Yes sir.
Donna, Leo, and Will all leave the office. Toby stares at C.J.
C.J.
Did you know that a day on the moon and a year on the moon are the same thing?
TOBY
I did. [long pause]
C.J.
I thought my reflexes before, in the Press Room, were cat-like.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
The room is filled with people who all need to be a part of Bartlet's phone call.
The President prepares for the phone call
as a translator and Leo listen in on
alternate lines. Josh enters.
TRANSLATOR
The Sit Room Watch Officer has the Kremlin.
BARTLET
You guys playing again?
JOSH
Yeah, The Game's started up.
BARTLET
President Chigorin, it's Jed Bartlet again.
I'm sorry about being abrupt before,
but I bet if you turn on CNN international
right now you'll see...
Putin :
[through the translator]
My Goodness. There was
a shooting at the White House.
BARTLET
Yeah, there you go. It's not a big deal,
but they shut us down for a little bit.
Putin :
[through the translator]
Well, I'm glad no one was hurt.
BARTLET
By the way when they crash the building
they don't crash all of it.
The Situation Room still works.
Leo gives him a "what-the-hell-are-you-doing" look.
Putin :
[through the translator]
Yes sir, I'm sure.
BARTLET
Mr. President, a little while ago
an unmanned B-UAV drone crashed,
we think somewhere inside Kaliningrad, as a matter of fact. Apparently they don't respond, you know, quite
the way you'd like when there's a sudden shift in the weather.
CHIGORIN
[through the translator]
[long pause]
Mr. President, I wasn't told of
a military mission over
Kaliningrad.
BARTLET
Well, like I say, it was a UAV,
it was taking satellite pictures
of coastal erosion in the Baltic Sea.
The Finns know about this.
We'd like to send a special operations team
ten kilometres west of Borsakova to retrieve it.
Putin :
[through the translator]
[long pause]
Well, Mr. President, like yourself,
I campaigned on the environment.
BARTLET
I'm sorry, sir?
Putin :
[through the translator]
I campaigned on the environment, sir.
BARTLET
Are you getting that translation right?
TRANSLATOR
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
You campaigned on The Environment, Mr. President :
Coastal erosion in the Baltic Sea.
Putin :
[through the translator]
[long pause]
I'll take a look at those pictures
and send them to you with Your UAV.
BARTLET
Well, the problem is our UAV's
have a self-detonating capability
and our people know how to disarm it,
and I wouldn't want to put your guys at risk.
Putin :
[through the translator]
Well, given the circumstances I'm sure your experts
wouldn't mind talking through the
steps with our experts.
BARTLET
It's proprietary technology, Peter.
Putin :
[through the translator]
To view costal erosion?
BARTLET
I know it seems...
Putin :
[through the translator]
Sir, I'm going to interrupt this call at this time
to speak with My Counterintelligence attachE.
BARTLET
Yes, Mr. President.
Putin :
[through the translator]
Thank you sir.
BARTLET
This isn't working anymore.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
The card game continues as Charlie looks on from near the window.
ED
Anything wild?
C.J.
Just the dealer. Four, no help. Six, possible straight. Heart, possible
flush. Jack, no
help. And the Dave of Love for a pair of tens. Tens bet.
LARRY
You know, you're particularly upbeat for someone who's been shot at twice
in four years.
C.J.
Am I?
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
That's 'cause I've got faith there, mi compadre.
TOBY
Faith?
C.J.
The substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.
TOBY
Yeah, but I think what he's asking... Bump ten... I think what he's asking
is why most
other nights do you think the world's going to hell in a hula hoop, but
tonight...?
C.J.
We dipped twice and eat gefilte fish?
TOBY
Suzy Cream Cheese, do not attempt the hagaddah.
C.J.
I know how to bless the soup too. I'll raise your raise.
ED
Out.
C.J.
Just the two of us.
TOBY
Faith in what?
C.J.
In us.
TOBY
The people in this room?
C.J.
And many, many, many others.
LARRY
Will, are you missing your plane?
WILL
Not yet, it's a military flight. It doesn't leave until about 12:30.
TOBY
What's in Cheyenne?
WILL
A number of us are being sent out there to investigate something that happened a few days ago.
TOBY
What happened?
WILL
You know, it's one of those things
that sounds worse when you say it out loud
because it makes people kind of nervous.
TOBY
What happened?
WILL
Uh, two guys failed to follow through on an order to fire their rockets at what was thought to be an incoming ballistic missile from North Korea.
Turns out it was a good thing they didn't,
'cause the missile was a meteor,
and rather than being from North Korea,
it was from, you know...
TOBY
Outer space.
WILL
Yeah.
Toby laughs.
TOBY
What the hell happened?
WILL
Two launch crew officers in Minuteman Three silos
picked up a signal of an incoming projectile.
The speed, arc, and trajectory of which suggested
it was headed to New London, Connecticut.
TOBY
From North Korea.
WILL
Yes.
TOBY
Why do we think at this point that North Korea
is attacking the East Coast of the United States?
WILL
There are transcripts from the silo that show that
surprise was expressed at that.
TOBY
I would think.
WILL
The base was already at DEFCON Delta,
so the launch crew initiated Response Code Orion,
which calls for the first in a series of steps
to arm their 50 Minutemen.
TOBY
What's in New London?
WILL
Trident.
TOBY
The gum?
WILL
The nuclear submarines.
TOBY
Fifty Minutemen they're arming, and is anyone saying
"This Doesn't Make Sense."?
WILL
Two guys in the silo.
The launch sequence went on for two minutes
before they had confirmation it was a meteor.
But The Two Guys were debating with
Airborne Launch Control
and the
Cheyenne Mountain Operations Centre
and that gets sticky.
This is missile defence.
This stuff has to work.
TOBY
And they're sending in
a team of lawyers to look into it.
WILL
Yeah, but we're scrappy.
TOBY
[laughs]
A meteor fell from the sky, the result being
two guys are going to get court-marshalled.
The only two guys who apparently
thought it was strange that
North Korea would attack submarines
in Connecticut instead of say,
San Diego or Hawaii.
And if it had been a real attack?
Would they still have been doing
point/counterpoint with NORAD?
Will shrugs.
TOBY
We failed both on a mechanical and human level.
So tell me again what you have Faith in.
C.J.
Us.
TOBY
Why.
C.J.
Because with what little free time he has,
Will is going to Wyoming to defend one of these guys
and I don't think it is failing on a human level.
TOBY
[pauses and then snickers at his cards]
I've got ace high flush.
Give me your money.
C.J.
I've got tens full of queens.
Give me yours.
Charlie, who has been sitting quietly by the window this whole time, gets up.
CHARLIE
Hey.
WILL
Who's out there?
CHARLIE
Zoey.
Charlie runs through his office and out onto the PORTICO where Zoey is
walking along.
CHARLIE
[casually] Oh. Hey.
ZOEY
Hi.
CHARLIE
This is a coincidence. I was just stepping outside for some air.
ZOEY
They just let me in a few minutes ago.
CHARLIE
Everything's fine.
ZOEY
I just wanted to check.
I was just going to call you.
CHARLIE
Were you?
ZOEY
Yeah.
CHARLIE
To say you wanted to get back together again?
ZOEY
To make sure you were alive.
CHARLIE
Well that's a step in my direction.
Do you want to come inside for a minute?
ZOEY
Ah, I have to get back and study.
One of my finals is tomorrow.
CHARLIE
Can you believe you're graduating in two weeks?
ZOEY
I can't.
CHARLIE
That went fast.
ZOEY
It really did.
CHARLIE
Is Chef Boyardee around?
ZOEY
Now, why do you have to do that?
CHARLIE
I was asking after him.
ZOEY
We were having a perfectly nice...
CHARLIE
Sorry.
ZOEY
And on tonight of all nights,
when we should be thinking about...
CHARLIE
Why is tonight different from other nights?
ZOEY
You were shot at!
CHARLIE
Well, not me personally,
but I say all the more reason to...
ZOEY
I'm going to France for three months.
CHARLIE
[long pause]
When?
ZOEY
After graduation.
CHARLIE
For three months?
ZOEY
Yeah.
CHARLIE
For three months?
ZOEY
That's twelve weeks.
CHARLIE
When did you come up with this plan?
ZOEY
He asked me a couple of days ago.
His family has a farmhouse
in the middle of a vineyard
near Avignon.
No press, no politics.
It's what I want to do.
CHARLIE
I think it's a great thing to do.
I just don't know why
you're doing it with him.
ZOEY
Well, I don't know why you have to...
you've been out with plenty of women since we
broke up and each time...
CHARLIE
I have not.
ZOEY
You don't think I know when you go out?
Every college student in this city
wants to tell me something I don't know.
And every time you've gone out,
I've been supportive.
CHARLIE
Supportive how?
I didn't even know you knew?
ZOEY
[getting frustrated]
That's how.
CHARLIE
Hey, you just told me.
I'm not the one using the student bodies
of GW, Georgetown, AU and Catholic University
as intelligence gathering sources.
ZOEY
And UVA and Johns Hopkins pal,
you're easy to spot.
CHARLIE
Look...
ZOEY
People like giving me information.
What do you want me to do?
CHARLIE
I want you to not go to France
with Jean-Paul.
ZOEY
[exasperated]
Why don't you like him?
CHARLIE
Because...
ZOEY
It's been four years in the White House,
another being the daughter of a candidate.
Eight years as Governor.
My grades get printed in the paper.
My boyfriends are in the paper.
I live and die by my parents'
successes and failures.
And so do you. Sometimes even more than me.
And Jean-Paul doesn't.
He's happy.
He's... just... happy.
CHARLIE
That's cause he's got
five hundred million dollars
and no conscience.
ZOEY
No it isn't. He cares about things.
And one of them is me.
And none of them are this,
and that's appealing to me right now.
CHARLIE
Yeah, I can understand that.
ZOEY
I've got to go study.
Sorry you got shot at again.
CHARLIE
Thanks.
Zoey walks off. Charlie watches her go before heading inside.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
CHIGORIN [through the translator]
Mr. President...
BARTLET
Peter...
Putin :
[through the translator]
Unless there was a typhoon.
BARTLET
I understand. I meant... [covering the mouthpiece] He's yelling at me pretty
loud now.
[into the phone] I wasn't referring to the change in weather, sir.
Putin :
[through the translator]
The national radar service does not find any UAV's in the area you discussed.
LEO
[on the phone] It's Leo again.
The UAV's are designed to fly below military radar
simply because the closer we get, the better the pictures.
Putin :
[through the translator]
I understand.
Now, what were you taking pictures of?
LEO
Coastal erosion in the Baltic...
CHIGORIN [through the translator]
There is simply no way an American UAV
could have been in the Finnish part...
BARTLET [to the room in general]
He's yelling pretty loud at Leo now.
Putin :
[through the translator]
...of the Baltic Sea and end up crashing in Kaliningrad unless there was a typhoon.
Now are you telling me...?
LEO
Sir.
Putin :
[through the translator]
We have experts too. And an S&R team
is looking for the UAV.
BARTLET
Don't do that Peter.
LEO
You shouldn't do that, sir.
We weren't flying in your airspace.
Putin :
[through the translator]
Kaliningrad is in my airspace Leo
and an S&R team has been sent ten kilometres west,
to see if we can help you find it.
LEO
Well, they're going to see it because in five minutes
I'm going to tell the President to blow it up.
Putin :
[through the translator]
Feel free.
BARTLET
We were taking pictures of Kaliningrad.
Everyone gives him shocked looks.
Putin :
[through the translator]
Say that again, please.
BARTLET
We were taking pictures of Kaliningrad.
We take pictures of black market nuclear materials
being moved out the back doors
of suppositories and into trucks.
The materials are being
sold to non-governmental elements and,
well, that's what we were doing.
Rogue engineers, military scientists, and ex-KGB.
It's just as big of a problem for you as
it is for us, but you're not dealing with it,
so we were taking pictures of Kaliningrad.
We're going to have to Trust each other a little Peter.
So we're going to share the pictures we got.
Not the technology we used to get them.
Otherwise I'm detonating it
and neither of us see the pictures.
We're going to have to Trust each other.
Our two countries have stopped The World
from annihilating itself for 60 years
because of conversations like this one.
Why don't you talk it over?
Putin :
[through the translator]
I will.
Bartlet hangs up the phone.
LEO
Good. I'd have said,
"We weren't spying on you,
we were spying for you," but...
BARTLET
If he calls back we'll have a deal.
In the mean time, one hand.
Bring your wallet.
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