Gunther

 

"Have you seen 'Friends'?

'Cos I think Kerry and Martin 

are a LOT like Gunther and Rachel,
because Gunther loves Rachel, 

but Rachel doesn't give a shit 

about Gunther.

He's just some guy who works in a cafe, 

serving coffee. You know? 

And he should focus on 

what he does have,
which is a great little business."

PLAYS LONG, FLAT NOTE

Martin Mucklowe :

What do you think of that? 

Use the diaphragm.

I mean, my lungs are so strong, 

I could blow up a hot water bottle.

Kerry :

Cor!

Martin Mucklowe :

And watch again --

PLAYS LONG, FLAT NOTE

Martin Mucklowe :

 Something you won't know, Ker, 

is the last Thursday of every month 

I used to play pool with Fred West. 

Kerry :

What..?

Martin Mucklowe :

I know he's done some iffy things,

but as a builder he was top-notch, 

best in the West Country.

Kerry :

Really?

Martin Mucklowe :

We'd say, 

"West, Best in The West."

And he'd laugh, he'd say, 

"Stop, Martin!"

He could hold four bits 

of four-by-four, one-handed.

And there's only one other bloke 

that can do that... and that's My Old Man.