Thursday 28 February 2019

And This is How I First Met —


















Tyler (Masonic)

Tyler (or Tiler) is the name of the office of outer guard of a Masonic Lodge. 







Masonic lodges may meet in rooms in taverns and other public meeting places [ and in PRISONS — Freemsory is RIFE in Prisons ] and all Lodges appoint a Tyler to guard the door from the outside against ineligible masons or malicious or curious people, to check the eligibility of latecomers, and to ensure that candidates for ceremonies in the Lodge are properly prepared. 


Although a junior Officer of the Lodge and often a highly experienced Past Master, he may often be considered akin to a sergeant: in some cases the Tyler may not be an unpaid member of the lodge, but a mason from another lodge employed for the purpose. 

Other duties often involve preparing the room for meetings, supplying regalia and equipment, serving as bar steward or acting as permanent, and sometimes resident, caretaker of the furniture and premises.

Duties of the post




Night, a print by William Hogarth. The figure on the left (with the square) is the Master of a lodge, probably escorted by his Tyler.[1]
In some Jurisdictions the Tyler is appointed by the Worshipful Master, while in others he is elected by the members of the Lodge. He is charged with examining the Masonic credentials of anyone wishing to enter the Lodge and keeping unqualified persons from infiltrating Masonic meetings, and admitting only those qualified to attend the current business.

In most jurisdictions, the Tyler is required to be outside the Lodge door for large portions of the meeting, although usually in a position to overhear the proceedings. The position has often been given to a deserving Mason who has fallen on hard times, such as the original Grand Master Anthony Sayer, or to a senior Lodge member who can help and advise those kept waiting outside.

In some jurisdictions, the Worshipful Master has the authority to permit or direct the Tyler to "tyle from within" during the non-ritualistic portions of a meeting. If tyling from within, the Tyler must first secure the outer doors of the Tyler's anteroom. He would then leave the inner door open between the lodge room and the Tyler's anteroom, and sit at the seat closest to the door, still holding his drawn sword. Tyling from within enables the Tyler to participate in the business portions of the meeting, voice his opinions, volunteer for committees, deliver reports, and receive instruction if any be given. 

In other jurisdictions, such as the United Grand Lodge of England, the Tyler is always expected to be outside the closed door of the lodge; on the rare occasions when the Tyler enters the lodge room, another lodge member (typically the Inner Guard or, in the U.S., the Junior Deacon) goes outside to take temporary responsibility for guarding the door.

Origins of the term

The origins of the term are uncertain and a number of hypotheses have been presented over time. Masonic lodges originally met in inns or taverns, and Tyler is an Old English word for the keeper of an inn door.[citation needed] 

Alternatively, the name may simply come from the occupation of tyler—a person who lays roof and floor tiles. More fanciful suggestions have included:

Possibly related to the name of Wat Tyler, or Walter the Tyler, the leader of the Peasants' Revolt of 1381. 
Possibly a revision of the word tether, used to tie the door closed.

Possibly owing to the tiles being those stones or bricks which seal the structural masonry, whether they be on floors, walls or roofs. Likewise, the Tyler seals the remainder of the activities of the lodge.

In popular culture

William Hogarth's famous print of Night shows a drunken Mason being helped home by the Tyler, from one of the four original Lodges in 1717 at the Rummer & Grapes tavern.

See also

Masonic Lodge Officers
References

^http://freemasonry.bcy.ca/biography/hogarth_w/night.html
^ Born in Blood: Lost Secrets of Freemasonry by John J Robinson pub 1999

I AM THE SENATE



I Am The Senate











If You Haven’t Done Anything Wrong, Don’t Apologise







Never Trust a Man w. Two Phones







I’ve treasured this scene in my memory for YEARS.


I didn’t realise it was a joke.


I thought that thing of putting the two phones together was something people actually did. Seemed perfectly reasonable to me — still does.

The Failed Apprentice





“You have been replaced...!!
— Darth Sideous

“Don’t You Think She Looks Tired...?”
— Perfect-10




“You shoulda left him on The Street where ya found ‘im.”
— Paulie Panina

“I know it was you, Fredo —”
— Don Michael Corleone


“— you broke all our hearts...”
— The Rocky Balboa of  Earth-199999



What the hell happened in there? I won the damn title and they think I'm a bum!
Why didn't you help me?

When the press is right, they're right.




I'm as good as Balboa ever was and
I'm tired of being called a damn robot!


Listen, Tommy. You can't fight the press.
I can't fight them.
As long as they got Balboa on the brain,
he's champ. He fought wars in the ring.
Tommy, face facts. You're in his shadow.


This is your own man talking!


No, listen.
There is a way to get the respect you
deserve. Challenge Balboa to fight.
George could set it up in just weeks.


It'd be the greatest fight ever.
Teacher against student,
old lion against young lion.
That's the only way you ever 
gonna get peace of mind.

The press will hound you with that man's
legend for as long as you wear gloves.
You gotta get him into that ring, Tommy,
or you'll keep hearing questions like that.

You'll start to ask yourself 
"Could I take him? 
Am I really good enough?"

"Do people think I'm a carbon copy
or a second-rate pretender who only
got a shot because of my skin tone?"

Got to challenge that man to fight, Tommy.
If he refuses, you gotta insult him! You
gotta dog him, you gotta humiliate him.

Do whatever you got to do to get him into
that ring! But that's what you got to do.



OK. Blast off. Rollin' silver. And down.
Andy, these flippers ain't flippin'.


That machine cost me a fortune.


It's costin' me a fortune too.


Rocky Balboa!


What was that?

Rocky Balboa, there's a man out here
wishin' to speak with you.
Rocky Balboa!

Rocko, you know who that is, huh?

Yeah, I know who that is.


Rocky, you need some help?


No, guys. It ain't no pie-eatin' contest.

Look what's in the street.


Tommy, what are you doin' here?
You oughta be celebratin'.


I'm challenging you to a fight.
Any time, any place, anywhere.


Fight?


That's right.


You're comin' here with these people
askin' if I wanna throw hands with you?
Is that what this is about?


Yeah. And I ain't nobody's robot.
Nobody's boy! Now are you accepting
the challenge or are you yellow?


He has no class. Come on, Rocko.
Hey, he has no class! Come on.


Hey, it ain't him. You wanna
shoot some eightball or somethin'?


Hey! I ain't through talkin' with you yet!



Look, I ain't got no more to say to you, OK?
I wanted good things for you.


The hell you did. 
You're in it for money.
I'm tired of people callin' me a robot.


You thought I was in this
for the money, Tommy?

We were supposed to be
like brothers, you know?

You don't know it, but you got a deception here.
This guy was usin' you for the bait.
He wants to get you and me in the ring.

He wants us to fight each other
to make the money.

He don't care about you
and he don't care about me neither.


Come on. Enough of the fantasy.
Let's talk reality.
Rocky Balboa, are you prepared
to accept Tommy Gunn's challenge?


Tommy...

Hey! I would have taken you any time.



You're a piece of garbage.



This ain't none of your business.


None of my business?


Come on, Paulie. 
Forget it.



He spit blood for you, put you ahead of his own family.
And you bring these rat bums around here? Kill his dignity?
Rocko made you your shot.
He's the real champ. You're just a joke.


Get out of here before I break your face.


Paulie?


Don't break your hand on that bum!


Paulie, are you OK?


You shoulda left him on the street,
where you found him.



 Merlin, get him outta here.


Get off of me!


You knocked him down.
Why don't you knock me down?



No, in the ring. Tommy Gunn only fights
in the ring! Let's get outta here.



My ring's outside.



Yeah? Let's do it.


Let's go live.


He's a punk, Rocky.



He's a street fighter.You a prizefighter.
Don't be a damn fool.


You don't own me!
You don't own me!


What's wrong? 
Take it easy.


Nobody does!
I want my respect.




Well, come and get it. 
Come on, Tommy.




I loved you, man! 
You know that?
You and me,
we were supposed to be like this, Tommy.
You blew it! You...



Lucky punch. But I told you never to fight a street fighter fight.
Come on, let's get out of here.


You're always a champ, Rocky. Great.


Great stuff. This is beautiful.

Mom! It's Dad.
He's on television. He's fighting.


What?!


Come on, man. Come on.
Come on, Balboa. Who's your papa now?
Come on!


Rocky, you gotta get up.



Come on, get up.




You're out!


If he dies, he dies.




You're the champ.
Now get up. One more round.

Get up! Don't lay down.
Fight this guy hard.

Come on!

He's no machine. I didn't hear no bell!




Get up, you son of a bitch,
cos Mickey loves ya.




Yo, Tommy!




I didn't hear no bell.




- One more round.
- Tommy, get back. Come on.




- You don't need this.
- You lose, you're finished.




I got one more round. Come on.




I'm not gonna knock you out this time.
I'm gonna put you through the street.




- One more round.
- Come on, Rocky.




Come on, Tommy.




Come on. Again!




Come on, Tommy.




Touch me and I'll sue.




All right, Rocky. You done it.




What in the hell are you doing?
Get up. What in the hell...?




Come on, knock the bum out.
He took my room!




Jab! Jab!




You're losin' everything. Come on!

Come on, Dad. You can beat him!

Fight back, you bum!




Stop!


Come on, Dad, go for it!
Hit him, Dad. Come on!
Hit him, Dad. Come on!
Go for it!


Hey, Adrian.
You were right. You were right.


Goddamn!
Only in America.
Hey, Rock! You outclassed the bum, huh?

Rocky, come on. Don't.

Touch me and I'll sue.
Come on, punk. Touch me and I'll sue.

Sue me for what?
For that?
Hey, yo, Father!
I love it when he does that.

Wednesday 27 February 2019

Ode to a 1964 Buick Skylark






My Cousin Vinny :
Your Honour, wouId you instruct the bailiff to escort Miss Vito to the witness stand?

HoId up your right hand.
Do you swear to teII the truth, The WhoIe Truth, and Nothing But The Truth?


Our Lady :
Yeah.


My Cousin Vinny :
Miss Vito. You're supposed to be some kinda expert in automobiIes. 

Is that correct?

Is that correct?

The Judge :
Will you pIease answer the counseI?

No. I hate him.

My Cousin Vinny :
Your Honour, may I treat Miss Vito as a hostiIe witness?

Our Lady :
You think I'm hostiIe now, wait till you see me tonight.

The Judge :
Do you two know each other?


My Cousin Vinny :
Yeah, she's my fiance.

The Judge :
Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.

I object to this witness. 
Improper foundation.
I'm not aware of this person's quaIifications.
I'd Iike to voir dire this witness as to the extent of her expertise.

Granted.
Mr Trotter, you may proceed.

Mm-hm.
Miss Vito, what's your current profession?

Our Lady :
I'm an out-of-work hairdresser.

Out-of-work hairdresser.
Now, in what way does that quaIify you as an expert in automobiIes?


It doesn't.

Well, in what way are you qualified?

Our Lady :
Well, my father was a mechanic.
His father was a mechanic.
My mother's father was a mechanic.
My three brothers are mechanics.
Four uncles on my father's side...


Miss Vito, your famiIy's obviousIy quaIified.
But, uh... have you ever worked as a mechanic?

Yeah. In my father's garage, yeah.

As a mechanic?
What'd you do in your father's garage?

Our Lady :
Tune-ups, oil changes, brake relining, engine rebuiIds, rebuiIds on trannies...


OK. OK. But does being an ex-mechanic quaIify you as being expert on tyre marks?

Our Lady :
No. Thank you. Goodbye.


Sit down and stay there until you're told to leave.

My Cousin Vinny :
Your Honour. Miss Vito's expertise is in generaI automotive knowledge.
It is in this area that her testimony will be applicable.

Now, if Mr Trotter wishes to voir dire the witness as to the extent of her expertise in this area, I'm sure he's gonna be more than satisfied.

OK.
All right. All right.
Now, uh... Miss Vito.
Being an expert on generaI automotive knowledge, can you tell me...

What wouId the correct ignition timing be on a 1955 BeI Air Chevrolet, with a 327 cubic-inch engine, and a four-barreI carburettor?

Our Lady :
That's a bullshit question.

Does that mean that you can't answer it?

Our Lady :
It's impossibIe to answer.


Because you don't know the answer!


Our Lady :
Nobody couId answer that question.

Your Honour, I move to disquaIify Miss Vito as a expert witness.


Can you answer the question?


Our Lady :
No. It is a trick question.


Why is it a trick question?

My Cousin Vinny :
Watch this. 


Our Lady :
Cos Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55.
The 327 didn't come out tiII '62.

And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barreI carb till '64.

However, in 1964 the correct ignition timing wouId be four degrees before top, dead centre.


WeII... Uh...
She's acceptabIe, Your Honour.

My Cousin Vinny :
Your Honour, this is a picture taken by my fiance outside the Sac-o-Suds.

Can we agree on this?

Our Lady :
Yeah.


My Cousin Vinny :
Thank you.
I'd Iike to submit this picture of the tyre tracks as evidence.

Mr Trotter.


No objection, Your Honour.

My Cousin Vinny :
Miss Vito. Did you take this picture?

You know I did.

My Cousin Vinny :
And what is this picture of?

You know what it's of.

My Cousin Vinny :
Miss Vito, it has been argued by me, the defence, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-o-Suds, at the same time, driving identicaI metaIIic mint-green 1964 Buick SkyIark convertibles.

Now, can you tell us, 
by what you see in this picture,...

..if the defence's case hoIds water?

Miss Vito. PIease answer the question.

Does the defence's case hold water?

Our Lady :
No.
The defence is wroang.

(murmuring)

My Cousin Vinny :
Are you sure?


Our Lady :
I'm positive.


My Cousin Vinny :
How couId you be so sure?


Our Lady :
Because there is no way that these tyre marks were made by a '64 Buick SkyIark.
These marks were made by a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.

Objection. 
Can we cIarify whether the witness is stating opinion or fact?

 This is your opinion?

Our Lady :
It's a fact.


My Cousin Vinny :
I find it hard to believe that this kind of information couId be ascertained simpIy by looking at a picture!

 Our Lady :
Would you like me to explain...?

My Cousin Vinny :
I wouId LOVE to hear this....!

The Judge: 
So wouId I.

Our Lady :
The car that made these two equal-length tyre-marks had positraction.
You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not avaiIabIe on the '64 SkyIark.

My Cousin Vinny :
And why not? 
What is positraction?

Our Lady :
It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tyres.

The '64 SkyIark had a regular differential which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on The Gas, one tyre spins, the other does nothin'.


Woman of The Jury :
That's right.


My Cousin Vinny :
Is that it?

Our Lady :
No. There's MOAH.
When the left tyre mark goes up on the kerb
and the right tyre stays flat and even...

Well, the '64 SkyIark had a solid rear axle, so, when the left tyre goes up on the kerb, the right tyre tilts and rides along its edge.

But that didn't happen here.
The tyre mark stayed flat and even.

This car had an independent rear suspension.

Now, in the '60s there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks.

One was the Corvette, which couId never 
be confused with the Buick Skylark.
The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.


My Cousin Vinny :
And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint-green paint?

Our Lady :
They WHUH!!! 


My Cousin Vinny :
Thank you, Miss Vito.
No more questions.
Thank you very, very much.
You've been a lovely, lovely witness.

(murmuring)



Mr Trotter, would you like to question Miss Vito?
(judge) Mr Trotter.
Mr Trotter!
Uh.
Uh, no. No, Your Honour.|No further questions.
In that case, Your Honour,|I'd Iike to recaII George WiIbur.
Miss Vito, you can stand down.
You reaIise you're stiII under oath.
Yes, Your Honour.
Mr WiIbur, how'd you Iike|Miss Vito's testimony?
Very impressive.
She's cute too, huh?
- Yes, very.|- (laughter)
- (judge) Mr Gambini.|- Sorry, Your Honour.
Mr WiIbur, in your expert opinion,...
..wouId you say that everything Miss Vito|said on the stand was 100% accurate?
- I'd have to say that.|- And is there any way in the worId...
..the Buick that the defendants|were driving made those tyre tracks?
Come on. You can say. It's OK, they know.
ActuaIIy,...
- ..no.|- No.
Thank you. No more questions.
Your Honour, I caII Sheriff FarIey.
(judge) You may stand down now, Mr WiIbur.
- Sheriff, you reaIise you're stiII under oath?|- Yes, sir.
Uh, Sheriff FarIey.
- What'd you find out?|- 

On a hunch, I took it upon myseIf to check if there was any information on a '63 Pontiac Tempest stolen or abandoned recentIy.
This computer read-out confirms that two boys,...
..who fit the defendants' description,|were arrested two days ago...
..by Sheriff TiIman|in Jasper County, Georgia,...
..for driving a stoIen metaIIic|mint-green 1963 Pontiac Tempest...
..with a white convertibIe top,...
..MicheIin modeI XGV tyres, size 75R-14.
- Is that it?|- No.
A .357 Magnum revoIver|was found in their possession.
Sheriff FarIey, just to refresh|the court's memory,...
..what caIibre buIIet|was used to murder Jimmy WiIIis?
- A .357 Magnum.|- The defence rests.
Mr Trotter.
Your Honour, in Iight of Miss Vito's|and Mr WiIbur's testimony,...
..the State'd Iike to dismiss aII charges.
Order in the court!
Order here.
I have to get out of here by three.|Make sure aII the bags are in the car.
Vinny, I'm sorry to have ever doubted you|at any time, and for this I apoIogise.
Under the circumstances... You were|great. I just want to say thank you.
You're weIcome. I hope we can do it again.
- Fine job, Mr Gambini.|- Thanks.
- Y'aII come back and see us any time now.|- I'II see.
- Vin.|- BiII.
- You're weIcome.|- Vin, I....
Listen. Take your time, pick the right words,|get back to New York, gimme a caII.
- Vinny, you did a terrific job.|- Thanks.
You got an open invitation|any time you come here.
- We can get us a deer next time.|- OK. Thanks a Iot.
I feeI Iike if I don't get outta here|now, I might never be abIe to Ieave.
Mr Gambini.
I have a fax here from the cIerk of New York.
I owe you an apoIogy, sir.
I'm honoured to shake your hand.
''Win some, Iose some.''
Your courtroom manner may be rather|unconventionaI, but I gotta teII you,...
..you're one heIIuva triaI Iawyer.
Thank you. And you're one heIIuvajudge.
Ooh, sorry.
(judge) Bye, now.
What the heII was that aII about back there?
I had a friend send a fax to the judge,...
..confirming the very impressive|IegaI stature of Jerry Callo.
What friends you got in the cIerk's office?
- Your friend.|- My friend?
Judge MaIIoy.
So what's your probIem?
My probIem is I wanted to win my first case|without any heIp from anybody.
WeII, I guess that pIan's moot.
Yeah.
This couId be a sign of things to come.
You win aII your cases,|but with somebody eIse's heIp, right?
You win case after case,|and then afterwards,...
..you have to go up to somebody|and you have to say ''Thank you.''
Oh, my God. What a fuckin' nightmare!
I won my first case.|You know what this means.
- Yeah. You think I'm gonna marry you.

You're not gonna marry me now?
No way. You can't win a case by|yourseIf. You're fuckin' useIess.
I thought we'd get married this weekend.
You don't get it, do you? That is not|romantic. I want a wedding in church...
..with bridesmaids and fIowers.
(Vinny) Ohh! How many times did you|say that spontaneous is romantic?
(Lisa) Hey, a burp is spontaneous.|A burp is not romantic.


The Members of The Fam : Our Lady








Geophagia (/ˌdʒiːəˈfeɪdʒ(i)ə/), also known as geophagy (/dʒiˈɒfədʒi/), is the practice of eating earth or soil-like substrates such as clay or chalk. 
It occurs in non-human animals where it may be a normal or abnormal behaviour, and also in humans, most often in rural or preindustrial societies among children and pregnant women.

Some researchers believe that humans first ate soil in Africa:

The oldest evidence of geophagy practised by humans comes from the prehistoric site at Kalambo Falls on the border between Zambia and Tanzania (Root-Bernstein & Root-Bernstein, 2000). Here, a calcium-rich white clay was found alongside the bones of Homo habilis (the immediate predecessor of Homo sapiens).”
— 
Peter Abrahams, Geophagy and the Involuntary Ingestion of Soil5:446


Geophagia is NEARLY UNIVERSAL around the world in tribal and traditional rural societies (although apparently it has not been documented in Japan or Korea).

In the ancient world, several writers noted the phenomenon of geophagia. Pliny is said to have noted the ingestion of soil on Lemnos, an island of Greece, and the use of the soils from this island was noted until the 14th century. 57 

The textbook of Hippocrates (460–377 BCE) mentions geophagia, and the famous medical textbook titled De Medicina edited by A. Cornelius Celsus (14–37 CE) seems to link anaemia to geophagia.

Early explorers in the Americas noted the existence of geophagy amongst Native Americans, including Gabriel Soares de Sousa, who in 1587 reported a tribe in Brazil using it in suicide, and Alexander von Humboldt, who said that a tribe called the Otomacs ate large amounts of soil. 

In Africa, David Livingstone wrote about slaves eating soil in Zanzibar, and it is also thought that large numbers of slaves brought with them soil-eating practices when they were shipped to the New World as part of the transatlantic slave trade. 

Slaves who practiced geophagia were nicknamed “clay-eaters” because they were known to consume clay, as well as spices, ash, chalk, grass, plaster, paint, and starch.

In more recent times, according to Dixie’s Forgotten People: the South’s Poor Whites, geophagia was common among poor whites in the Southeastern United States in the 19th and early 20th centuries, and was often ridiculed in popular literature. The literature also states, “Many men believed that eating clay increased sexual prowess, and some females claimed that eating clay helped pregnant women to have an easy delivery.”

Geophagia among Southerners may have been caused by the high prevalence of hookworm disease, of which the desire to consume soil is a symptom.

Geophagia has become less prevalent as rural Americans assimilate into urban culture.

 However, cooked, baked, and processed dirt and clay are sold in health food stores and rural flea markets in the American South.








He Loves Her So DAMN Much.


(and So Do I.)