Inner Light

Eros has worked as hard as he can to keep Psyche unconscious. He promised her paradise if she would not look at him or question him. In this way he sought to dominate her.

A woman often lives some part of her life under the domination of a man in outer life, and if she is alert enough to avoid this she may then fall under the domination of her inner man, her animus. The chronicle of a woman’s life can be described in her struggle and evolution in relation to the masculine principle of life—whether she finds it outwardly in a human male or within herself as animus. There is an exact parallel in the life of a man as he struggles to gain some intelligent relationship with the feminine principle of life—whether he finds it through a woman or in the heroic struggle around his inner woman, his anima. Outer or inner, this is much of the drama of life.

Though there are endless variations that make up the individuality of life, the coming-to-terms with the masculine element takes a predictable course. A young woman is likely to touch masculinity first as father, then as the devourer in her marriage to death, then as Eros who promises paradise if she will not ask questions. Later she will find him as the god of love that he truly is. Within or without this drama takes so much of our conscious energy!

A woman’s autobiography is likely to contain vivid chapters on her falling in love, the discovery and loss of the paradise garden, and, God willing, the rediscovery—as wonderful as it’s first promise—of the garden in maturity.

The honeymoon of courtship, which is the paradise garden, claims us first. There Psyche finds herself in the most lovely of tranquil gardens where her every wish is accomplished. This is the paradise-garden, the Garden of Eden, the place of perfection. We wish this might last forever, but every garden has a serpent or shadow figure who brings the tranquility to an abrupt halt.

THE TOOLS

The shadow urges a woman to question the paradise garden and gives her some wonderful and terrible tools for her purpose. There is a lamp, hidden at first, which is her ability to see what is. This is her capacity for consciousness. Light is always the symbol of consciousness, whether it be in the hands of man or a woman. A woman’s natural consciousness is of a unique and beautiful kind, a lamp. It burns the oil of the earth or of the fruit and gives a particularly warm, gentle, soft light. There is not the hard intensity of sunlight in it but the gentle feminine warmth of nature’s light. Luminea Natura is one of its names.

The other tool is a knife, very sharp. Of these tools Psyche uses only one. She never uses the other, and I think there is sage advice in the myth in this respect. A woman gently shedding light on a situation produces miracles; a woman with a knife in her hands would kill. Transform or kill? This is a critical choice, especially for a modern woman. If the knife comes first there will probably be much damage. If the lamp comes first there is a chance of intelligence and growth. If she wields her tools carefully she can bring about a miracle of transformation—nothing less than the showing forth of the god, Eros in his true light. She can be justly pleased that her light produced the miracle. Much of a man’s mute yearning for a woman is his need for her light to show him—as well as her—his true nature and godhood. Every woman holds this terrible-wonderful power in her hands.

What is the lamp, and what does it show? At his best, a man knows who he is, and he knows he has a god, a magnificent being, somewhere within him. But when a woman lights the lamp and sees the god in him, he feels called upon to live up to that, to be strong in his masculine consciousness. Naturally he trembles! Yet he requires this feminine acknowledgment of his worth. Terrible things happen to men who are deprived of the presence of women—inner or outer—for usually it is the presence of woman that reminds each man of the best that is in him.

During World War II, there were isolated groups of men stationed in the Aleutian islands. They were deprived of “R and R,” rest and relaxation, because of transportation problems due to their isolation. None of the entertainment groups went near them. More than half of these men suffered nervous breakdowns. They would not shave, cut their hair or do the things necessary to keep up their morale. It was because there was no woman, no Psyche looking upon Eros, to remind them of their worth.

If a man is discouraged, a woman can give him a glance or a talisman and restore him to his sense of value. There seems to be a peculiar vacant spot in a man’s psychology here. Most men get their deepest conviction of self-worth from a woman, wife, mother, or if they are highly conscious, from their own anima. The woman sees and shows the man his value by lighting the lamp.

I was sitting in on a family quarrel once when a woman was wielding her knife vigorously. Far down on the list of her husband’s transgressions was the accusation that he often got home from the office late. He said, “Don’t you understand that I stay at that stupid office for you, to earn and care for the family?” The woman collapsed. She had heard something. The lamp had replaced the knife. He said, “I wouldn’t go to the office except for you. I hate the office. I only go there to work for you and the children.” There was a suddenly a new dimension in that marriage. The woman brought forth her lamp and looked at what was. And she liked what she saw.

A man depends largely on woman for the light in the family as he is not well equipped at finding meaning for himself. Life is often dry and barren for him unless someone bestows meaning on life for him. With a few words, a woman can give meaning to a whole day’s struggle and a man will be so grateful. A man knows and wants this; he will edge up to it, initiate little occasions so that a woman can shed some light for him. When he comes home and recounts the events of the day, he is asking her to bestow meaning on them. This is the light-bearing quality of a woman.

The touch of light or consciousness is a fiery experience and often stings a man into awareness; this is partly why he fears the feminine so much. A huge proportion of man’s bantam rooster behavior is a futile effort to hide his fear of the feminine. It is mostly the woman’s task to lead a man to new consciousness in relationship. It is almost always the woman who says, “Let’s sit down and talk about where we are.” The woman is the carrier of growth in most relationships. A man fears this but he fears, even more, the loss of it.

We can understand the function or meaning of the oil from Psyche’s lamp in two ways. We can speak of oil on troubled waters and also of being boiled in oil. In a man’s hazy appreciation of the feminine the two are not always easily separated.

A blustery old Jewish patriarch once consulted me concerning the lack of life in his household. The children were gone, he was retired, and gloom had settled over the enervated household. I sensed what had gone wrong and asked about the ceremonies of the household. “Oh, we gave those up eons ago; they have no meaning.” I instructed the man to ask his wife to light the Sabbath candles the next Friday evening. “Rubbish!” he cried. But I insisted and wondered what he would recount the next week when I saw him again. “I don’t know what happened but when I asked my wife to light the Sabbath candles she burst into tears and did as I asked. The household has been a different place ever since!” Two things had happened: ceremony had been restored to that household, and the woman had been given her ancient right to bear the lamp of soft light which warms, animates, and brings meaning.

Few women understand how great is the hunger in a man to be near femininity. This should not be a burden for a woman and she will not have to bear this in such a solitary manner all of her life. As a man discovers his own inner femininity, he will not rely so heavily on the outer woman to live this out for him. But if a woman wishes to give a most precious gift to a man, if she would truly feed his greatest masculine hunger (a hunger which he will seldom show but which is often there), she will be very feminine when her man is mutely asking for that precious quality. It is especially true that when a man is in a mood he needs true femininity from his woman so that he may get his bearings and be a man again.