Showing posts with label The Daddy Problem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Daddy Problem. Show all posts

Thursday 30 April 2020

The Daddy Problem


Now one of the criminals hanging there reviled Jesus, saying, 
“Are you not the Messiah? 
Save yourself and us.”


The other, however, rebuking him, said in reply, 
“Have you no fear of God, for you are subject to the same condemnation? 

And indeed, we have been condemned justly, for the sentence we received corresponds to Our Crimes, but This Man has done Nothing Criminal.” 

Then he said, 
“Jesus, re-member me when you come into Your Kingdom.”

He replied to him, 
“Amen I Say to You ‘Today you will be with me in Paradise.’”







Paglia: 
I take a very firm position, which is that I want college administrations to
stay totally out of the social lives of the students. If a crime is committed, it should be
reported to the police. I’ve been writing that for twenty-five years now. But it’s not the
business of any college administration to take any notice of what the students say to
each other - say to each other - as well as do with each other. I want it totally stopped.
It is fascism of the worst kind.
Peterson: I agree. And I think it’s fascism of the worst kind because it’s a new
kind of fascism. It’s partly generated by legislation, like the Title 9 memo that was
written in 2011. I recently got a copy of that goddamn thing. That was one polluting
bit of legislation. That memo basically told universities that unless they set up a
parallel court system, they were going to be denied federal funding. It is absolutely
unbelievable.
Paglia: Incredible. And the leftists are supporting this? This shows there is no
authentic campus leftism. I’m sorry, it’s a fraud. The faculty should be fighting the
28

administration on this. Federal regulation of how we’re supposed to behave on
campus?
Peterson: Well how can you be so naive and foolish to think that taking an
organization like the university, which already has plenty to do, and forcing it to
become a pseudo legal system that parallels the legal system could possibly be
anything but utterly catastrophic.
It would mean you have to know absolutely nothing about the legal system and about
the tremendous period of evolution that produced what’s actually a stellar system and
an adversarial system that protects the rights of the accused and of the victim. And
to replace that with an ad-hoc bureaucracy that has pretty much the same degree
of power as the court system with absolutely none of the training and none of the
guarantees.
Paglia: Kangaroo courts. That piece that I wrote about date rape - it was in January,
1991 Newsday - was the most controversial thing I ever wrote in my entire career.
I attacked the entire thing, and demanded that colleges stand back and get out of
the social lives of the students. The reaction. People tried to call. . . They called the
president of my university, tried to get me fired. You can’t believe the hysteria.
Peterson: I can believe it.
Paglia: Yeah, you can believe it. Anything that says to women that they should be
responsible for their own choices is regarded as reactionary? Are they kidding me?
This is such a betrayal of authentic feminism in my view.
Peterson: Well it’s the ultimate betrayal of authentic feminism because it’s an
invitation of all the things that you might be paranoid about with regards to the
patriarchy back into your life. It’s an insistence that the most intrusive part of the
tyrannical king come and take control of the most intimate details of your life.
Paglia: Incredible. Absolutely incredible.
Peterson: And the assumption is that that’s going to make your life better rather than
worse.
Paglia: And not to mention this idea of the stages of verbal consent, as if your
impulses based in the body have anything to do with words. That’s the whole point of
sex is to abandon that part of the brain that’s so trammeled with words.
Peterson: It’s actually a marker of lack of social ability to have to do that. Because if
you’re sophisticated. . . It’s not like if you’re dancing with someone, it’s not like you call
out the moves. If you have to do that, well then you’re worse than a neophyte. You’re
an awkward neophyte, and anyone with any sense should get the hell away from you.
29

So if you’re reduced to the point where you have to verbally negotiate every element of
intimate interaction. . .
Paglia: What a downer.
Peterson: Yes, but what an unbelievably naive and pathological view of the manner in
which human beings interact. There’s no sophistication in that.
Paglia: What I’m worried about also, in this age of social media. . . I’ve noticed that as
a teacher in the classroom that the young people are so used to communicating now by
cellphone, by iPhone, that they’re losing body language and facial expressions, which I
think is going to compound the problem with these dating encounters.
Because the ability to read the human face and to read little tiny inflections of emotion.
. . I think my generation got that from looking at great foreign films with their long
takes. So you’d have Jeanne Moreau and Catherine Deneuve in like potential romantic
encounters, and you could see the tiniest little inflections that signal communication or
sexual readiness or irony or skepticism or distance or whatever.
The inability to read other people’s intentions. . . I think this is going to be a disaster. I
just notice how year by year the students are becoming much more flat affect. And they
themselves complain that they’ll sit in the same room with someone and be texting to
each other.
Peterson: Yeah, well there’s a piece of evidence, too, that supports that to some
degree. Women with brothers are less likely to get raped. And the reason for that is that
they’ve learned that nonverbal language deeply.
Paglia: Not only that but I have noticed in my career that women who have many
brothers are very good as administrators and as business people, because they don’t
take men seriously. They saw their brothers. They think their brothers are jokes. But
they know how to control men while they still like men. They admire men. This is
something I have seen repeatedly.
Peterson: So that would be also reflective of the problem of fewer and fewer siblings.
Paglia: Yes, that’s right. I’ve noticed this in publishing. The women who have the job of
publicist and rise to the top as manager of publicity - their ability to take charge of men
and their humor with men. They have great relationships with men, because they don’t
have a sense of resentment and worry and anxiety. They don’t see men as aggressors.
And I think that’s another thing, too. As feminism moved into its present system of
ideology it has tended to denigrate motherhood as a lesser order of human experience,
and to enshrine of course abortion. Now I am a hundred percent for abortion rights. I
belonged to Planned Parenthood for years until I finally rejected it as a branch of the
Democratic Party, my own party.
30

But as motherhood became excluded, as feminism became obsessed with the
professional woman, I feel that the lessons that mothers learn have been lost to
feminism. The mothers who bear boy children understand the fragility of men, the
fragility of boys. They understand it. They don’t see boys and men as a menace. They
understand the greater strength of women.
So there’s this tenderness and connectedness between the mother and the boy child
when motherhood is part of the experience of women who are discussing gender. So
what we have today is that this gender ideology has risen up on campuses where all. .
. None of the girls, none of the students have married. None of them have had children.
And you have women, some of whom have had children. . . But a lot of them are like
lesbians or like professional women and so on.
So this whole tenderness and forgivingness and encouragement that women do to
boys. . . This hypersensitivity of boys is not understood. Instead, boys are seen as
somehow more privileged. And somehow their energy level is interpreted as aggression,
potential violence, and so on. We would do better if would have. . . I have proposed
that colleges should allow. . . The moment a woman has entered, she has entered that
college for life and that she should be free to leave to have babies when her body wants
that baby, when it’s healthy to have them. And then return, have the occasional course,
and build up credits. And fathers might be able to do it as well.
To get married women and women with children into the classroom. The moment that
happens, as happened after Word War II where you had a lot of married guys in the
classroom. . . Not that many women. The experience of a married person with a family
talking about gender. . . Most of the gender stuff would be laughed out of the room if
you had a real mother in there who had experienced childbirth and was raising boys.
So I think that’s also something that has led to this incredible artificiality and hysteria of feminist rhetoric.

Peterson: 
There’s another strange element to that, which is that on the one hand the
radical feminist types, the neo-Marxists, postmodernists, are very much opposed to the patriarchy, let’s say, and that’s that uni-dimensional, ideological representation of our culture.

Paglia: 
That has never existed. 
Perhaps the word could be applied to Republican Rome and that’s it.

Peterson: 
Maybe it could be applied usefully to certain kinds of tyranny, but not to a society that’s actually functional.

Paglia: 
Victoria England, arguably. But other than that, to use the word ‘patriarchy’ in a slapdash way, so amateurish. It just shows people know nothing about history whatever, have done no reading.

Peterson: 
So what confuses me about that is that despite the fact that the patriarchy is viewed as this essentially evil entity, and that that’s associated with the masculine energy that built this oppressive structure, the antithesis of that, which would actually be femininity as far as I can tell, which is tightly associated with care and with child-rearing, is also denigrated.

So it’s like the only proper role for women to adopt is a patriarchal role, despite the fact that the patriarchy is something that’s entirely corrupt. So the hypothesis seems to be that the patriarchy would be just fine if women ran it. So no changes. It would just be a transformation of leadership, and somehow that would rectify the fundamental problem, even though it’s hypothetically supposed to be structural.

Okay, so I’m going to close with something. So, you know, there are elements in my character that are optimistic. I’ve looked, for example. . . I’ve worked for a UN Committee on the relationship between economic development and sustainability. 

And I found out a variety of things that were very optimistic like the fact that the UN set out to half poverty between 2000 and 2015 worldwide, and actually hit that by about 2010.

So we’re in the period of the fastest transformation of the bottom strata of the world’s population into something approximating middle class that’s ever occurred.

And there’s all these great technological innovations on the horizon. 

And it looks to me like things could go extraordinarily well if we were careful. 
But I’m not optimistic, and maybe that’s me. 

I’m pessimistic because I also see that there’s five or six things happening, all of which appear at the level of catastrophe, that are all happening at the same time.

To Nurture or To Safeguard — That is The Question




“Tufts University psychologists showed people headshots of white Democrats and Republicans. Participants guessed the political affiliation significantly above chance, about 55 to 60 percent. That's better than the house advantage in blackjack. 

The Key Difference? The Study, published this January, found that Democrats projected “Warmth" and Republicans projected "Power."

This contrast between "Warmth" and "Power" characterizes our politics. The health care debate appears mired in innumerable details. But it has always concerned a far deeper debate over two competing ideas of government – To Nurture or To Safeguard. 

The dynamic is so intimately familiar to us because it is conventionally familial. The health care clash, like American politics, remains rooted in our Mommy and Daddy Parties.”

Thursday 5 March 2020

That Just Does Them In



The people that I've seen who’ve been really hurt have been hurt mostly by deceit
and that's also worth thinking about. 

You get walloped by Life. 
There’s no doubt about that—
absolutely no doubt about that. 

But I've thought for a long time that, maybe, people can handle earthquakes, cancer, even death, but they can't handle betrayal, and they can't handle deception — 

They can't handle having the rug pulled out from underneath them 
by people they Love and Trust

That just does them in

It makes them ill
and it hurts them: 
psychophysiologically, 
it damages them. 

But, more than that, it makes them 
cynical, bitter, vicious, and resentful

They start to act that all out in The World, 
and that makes it worse.

Deanna Troi :
Kestra, take those tomatoes to Daddy, 
and then set the table for dinner, please.
Deldeth m'rant.
Zeth.

Sojii Asha :
That wasn't Viveen.

Deanna Troi :
Harpanthi.
Spoken by The Mind Witches of the Southern Ice.
I never managed to learn much Viveen.

Sojii Asha :
How many languages did Thad invent? 

Deanna Troi :
11.
12, if you count Pahlplah, the language of butterflies.
But it doesn't have words.
Only wingbeats.

Sojii Asha :
I love that.

Deanna Troi :
Thad was born and raised on starships.
From the time he was very little, 
he was fascinated by the idea that people had homeworlds.

Betazed.

Earth.

He wanted a homeworld of his own, 
so he invented one. Ardani.
It means "Home".


Sojii Asha :
Ardani.

Deanna Troi :
When Thad got sick, we came here to Nepenthe.
He loved it here.
This became his homeworld.

Sojii Asha :
What did he have? 

Deanna Troi :
Mandaxic neurosclerosis.
It's a silicon-based virus.
It's very rare, and in theory, completely curable.

You just have to culture the infected cells 
in an active positronic matrix.

But by the time Thad came down with MN, 
there were no active positronic matrices.

And no one was allowed to develop new ones.


Sojii Asha :
Because of the synth ban.

Deanna Troi :
So, you see, Soji, ‘Real’ isn't always ‘Better’.

Sojii Asha :
Kestra told you.


Deanna Troi :
She told me this is all very new to you.
That you're very new.

Sojii Asha :
That's just a guess.
I really don't know anything at all.

Except that, for some reason, the Romulans are very interested in figuring out where I came from.
Where I was made.

Well, one Romulan.
Narek.

He got me to believe that he cared about me.
I thought he even loved me.

I trusted him, but it was all a mind game.
He was trying to trick me into remembering information he needed.

And then he tried to kill me.

Deanna Troi :
It must be very hard to feel that you can trust anyone now.

Sojii Asha :
You think? 
This way that you're being right now, all sensitive and caring, 
that makes me trust you less.

I don't trust you or Kestra -- 
I definitely don't trust Picard.

This whole thing, if it's even really happening, 
how do I know it's not another game? 

That it isn't Real? 
Like my childhood.
Like my parents.

You bring me to this beautiful place, surround me with warm, friendly people and good food, and -


PICARD :
Torture you? Destroy you? 
Yeah, you're right.
All this is an elaborate plot.
I wouldn't trust any of us if I were you.

Riker :
Hey, hey! 
All you had to say is 
"Dinner is Served".
You all right? 

PICARD :
She could have broken me in half.
I suppose I should be encouraged that she held back.
Baby steps.

Riker :
Yes, sir.

Deanna Troi :
This isn't something a ship's counselor is supposed to say, but -- 
You Had it Coming.

Riker :
Easy there, Imzadi!

Deanna Troi :
Do you have any idea what that Young Woman's been through? 
What she's going through now
what the Romulans did to her? 

To you, the idea that all this could be some kind of subterfuge or Simulation is preposterous.

But to her, it would be more of The Same.

You know you're Real, but she has no reason to believe that...!
She has no reason to believe that she herself is Real.

Her Capacity to Trust was a flaw in her programming.
She's been manipulated, tortured.
Her very consciousness has been violated.


[ There is smoke coming from The Oven ]

Dad! 

PICARD :
What I need to be --

Deanna Troi :
You need to be Jean-Luc Picard.
Compassionate, patient, curious.

PICARD :
And one other thing --
Useful.

Deanna Troi :
Let us help you, Jean-Luc.

Pretend that our dinner table is 
the ready room of the Enterprise.
We'll find a way forward, together.

RIKER :
Cancel red alert! Burnt tomato.
Dinner is served.

Sunday 29 December 2019

Daddy’s Stick







“And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass, and he returned to the land of Egypt: and Moses took The Rod of God in his hand.” 


Exodus 4:20













p

Tuesday 10 December 2019

Who Are We, If Not The Stories We Tell Ourselves?


Who are we, if not
The Stories We Tell Ourselves?



“In the three months that I was in Treatment I was given written tasks to complete that were formulated around the first three of the 12 Steps: 

1. Admit you have a problem. 
2. Believe in the possibility of change. 
3. Ask for help and follow suggestion. 

In practice this meant providing accounts of when my drinking and drug use put me in danger or caused me to behave regrettably, examples of new habits I could adopt to support change, and ways in which I could get help that weren’t previously available. 

Nearly sixteen years later I use this formula when dealing with less critical problems of my own, and when mentoring other people. 

It is a near universal template. 

Having Chip as a witness and a guide as I undertook this as a novice was invaluable. 

When I gave accounts of the consequences of my drug use he was non-judgemental and offered stories of his own. 

He was able to validate ideas I had about how to change my habits and patterns and suggest better ones; and, importantly, he was a living demonstration of the success of the methods. 

He was also the first person that I was able to ask for help in a way that felt safe and free from hidden or unclear obligation. 

This is the first, and in a way most vivid, example of mentorship because the intention was so explicit, transition from drug user to abstinence; the method was established, the 12 Steps; and the environment supportive, a treatment centre for addiction. 

This meant that the relationship between Chip and myself had a good chance of succeeding as long as I was honest, open and willing, was able to accept my own flaws, believe I could change and give Chip the authority to steward that change. 

His obvious compassion, humour, honesty and experience meant that my decision to trust him felt safe. 


When I read my Life Story to him, a common therapeutic exercise which gives your mentor  : 
An idea of your version of events 
and 
Forces you to commit yourself to a narrative


He said, and I remember this most vividly and it still elicits a little, inward shudder, 

‘Poor, lonely, little boy.’


Hearing him say that made me feel understood but humbled, like I no longer needed to inflict an impression of myself on others, that I was no longer required to dupe or trick people into accepting a version of me that I constructed as I went along. 

It kind of winded me. 

It meant that I could accept that my shameful feeling about being that little boy could be addressed head on. 

It meant that I could tell Chip saw The Truth in What I Wrote. 

My mate Matt read the same life story the night before I handed it in, he’d come to visit me in treatment, rather sweetly. 

Let me tell you his assessment of the work was less sympathetic, he wrung it out for comedy in the most brutal fashion, cruelly pointing out my unconscious attempt to present my life as a kind of rock ‘n’ roll bio, scoffing at the bits where I ‘lived above pubs’, and coldly undermining the self-aggrandising tone. 

Humbling in another way.

For this reason I have peers, to remind me 
where the boundaries of My Tribe lie. 

But if I want to get beyond these boundaries I will need a mentor. 

Chip didn’t take The Piss. 
It would’ve been pretty unforgivable if he had (!). 

He saw past all the posturing and grandeur to the Deeper Truth; I was an uninitiated man and I needed to be recognised and encouraged.”

Excerpt From
Mentors
Russell Brand


“When Yogananda describes the first sighting of his guru, to a westerner the sincerity of his adulation is almost obscene. 

We only love so wholeheartedly and uncynically in adolescence, or when we revisit that hormonal tundra in juvenile adulthood. 

I was in my own storm of idiocy, my own adolescence beaten thinly almost into middle age, on a trip with a woman who I blindly adored, who I had ill-advisedly appointed as a custodian of my heart – one last throw of the dice. 








We Who Look for God in Romance are DOOMED. 

Your idol will fall and you will be too bereft to pick up the pieces.”





FAROUK: 
I've heard of This Beast.

Time Eaters, who live in Gravity Wells.
Black Holes.

The Laws of Time don't apply to them.

CLARK :
They live in black holes?
Uh, I mean -- 

FAROUK: 
Yes.
Think of Time as The Wood in The House, 
and they are like Termites living underground.


SYD :
David must have let them out.

KERRY :
How do we fight them? 

FAROUK: 
We can't. Not here.
They're too powerful.
We have to go to where they sleep 
and kill them there: The Nest.


CLARK :
Well, where do we go, and how do we get there? 

FAROUK :
To the Time Between Time.
There's a rift in the astral plane.

[FADING.]

An Imperfection.
It has been sealed -

KERRY:
Bombs, knives, guns? 
What do I need? 

FAROUK: 
Courage and Luck.


[CHUCKLING.]
Three years? 

[BOTH LAUGHING.]

So, if you're Me in The Future, 
then does that mean that this is My Future? 

[CHUCKLING.]

Yeah.
Maybe.

[CHUCKLES.]

Or maybe you'll make Different Choices 
now that you've seen me.

Like staying brunette? 

Very funny.

You know, last year, I was Syd in The Past.
But I never got to meet her.

Me.

If I did, I would have asked her 
The Same Question that you want to ask me.

What Question? 

Who Teaches You to Be Normal 
When You're One of a Kind? 
What am I? 

People get Too Close.
They Touch You and You Disappear.

And then They're Inside.
In Your Belly and In Your Head.

And when you get back, there's a smell.
Someone Else's smell is inside your nose.

And you check out.

You Tell People, 
"It's fine. I don't own my body.

You Say, 
"My Power is like A Vacation.
I get to be a tourist in someone else's life.

Who cares if every time I come back home, 
I feel dirty? 

I just want to be left alone.

I know.
People Die of Loneliness, too.
They drink too much.
Slit their own throats.

I went to The Shower.
Mom was asleep on the couch, and I went to The Shower.

You were curious.
I just wanted to feel something.

And he turned me around.
Why did he turn me around? 

Power.

I thought Sex was about Love.

It can be.

That was it.
The First Time.
My only time.

People talk about Sex, 
and all I think about is having my face pushed into wet glass.

How is that Romantic? 

Does it Get Better? 


You Fall in Love.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]

And that's worth it.
To Feel That Feeling.


Do we get married? 

It's complicated.

I'm not a kid.

[SIGHS.]

Uh - He has Powers.
But he's unstable.

And for a while, it's Magic.

[QUIETLY.]

Magic.

And then - 
What happened?

"You had a bad dream."


He turned me around.

So we find A Desert Island and Live Alone.

I think about that, too.
Giving up.

[CHUCKLES.]

It's not giving up.
It's What You Wrote.

I know.
I'm afraid.

If I hug you, do we switch places? 

[GASPING.]
[SCREAMS.]
- [ROARS.]
- [SCREAMS.]

Fishy? Fishy? 
Where'd you swim off to? Babe! 

[CLOCK TICKING.]
[DISTORTED GIGGLING.]
[SALMON SCREAMING.]

Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
It hurts! Is it supposed to hurt so much? 
Um, push, right? Remember?

[WHIMPERS.]
[PANTING.]


You got to push.
This is it.
Push.


[LENNY EXHALING.]
[SALMON WHIMPERING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[BABY CRYING.]
[LENNY GASPS.]

My Queen.
We Did It.

[BABY CRYING.]
Mommy, I made that for you.

Bullshit!

Oh.
What is? 

That this is all we get.


Mom?

[LENNY GASPS.]

Do you want to hold her?

[BABY COOS.]
[LENNY LAUGHS.]
No.
No.
No!

Mom.
She's Tough.
Stubborn.
Listens to me and then does the opposite.
I guess it runs in The Family.

[BOTH LAUGH.]
Mom.
You came.

Of course I did.

Thank You.


For what? 


Always Being There for Me.

[CRYING.]
[CLOCK TICKING.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[SCREAMING.]

I seen the demons But they didn't make a sound 
They tried to reach me 
But I lay upon the ground I reached for feelings 
But they didn't make a sound 
They tried to reach me 
But I lay upon the ground 
[GROWLING.]
So, miles and miles of squares 
Where's the feeling there? 
[DISTORTED GIGGLING.]

Still nobody cares 
For miles and miles of squares 
Daydream I fell asleep amid the flowers 
Daydream I fell asleep amid the flowers 

[FAROUK WHISTLES.]

I seen the demons 
But they didn't make a sound 
They tried to reach me 
But I lay upon the ground 
I seen the people 
But they didn't make a sound 
They tried to reach me 

[SCREAMING, DISTORTED CHATTER.]
Something's wrong with Time?

[SIGHS.]
[DISTORTED GIGGLING.]

What Are You? 
It Doesn't Matter.

Ah.
You know what? 

Eat all the time you want.
I'll get it back.

'Cause You're Not Real.
Nothing That Hurts Me is Real.
No-one Who Hates me is Real.

[GIGGLING.]
For miles and miles of squares 
Acts of God.
Daydream I fell asleep amid the flowers 
I am God.
Daydream I fell asleep amid the flowers.

Oh, now you're listening.

Well, Listen to This.
You want to eat something? Eat shit.
Now go tell your friends it's not your time.
It's mine.

Go.
Or I kill every one of you.
What am I?

 [GROWLING.]
[TICKING.]
[WHOOSHING.]
[INSECTS TRILLING.]
[LENNY CRYING.]


How Bad?

[GROANS.]

Let me Help You.

[SNIFFLES.]

No.
I need to feel it.

[CRYING.]

ALL: 
Daddy! 

Stop.
Stop.
Stop! 

[SIGHS.]
Where's Switch?
Switch?

She's gone, Daddy.


What do you mean, she's gone? 

He took her.
The Scientist.


Cary took her? 
No, no, no! 

[LOUD RUMBLING.]
[INHALES.]
[EXHALES.]

War.