……I’m not sure The Priests
can be Trusted.
—Wyndham-Pryce
“There's something magical for me
about Literature and Fiction, and
I Think it can Do Things, not only
that pop culture can’t Do,
but they're urgent, now —
One is that, by creating
A Character in a piece of Fiction,
You can allow a Reader
to leap over The Wall of Self
and to imagine himself being
not just somewhere else,
but someone else, in a way
the Television and Movies,
that no other form can do,
because people, I think,
are essentially lonely and alone
and frightened of being alone”
— Foster
Megatron, aboard the
Hijacked Shuttle —
His Fusion-cannon,
building in charge;
His smile, bent
On the evening of their final night together, at The End of The Tour,
The Davids are treating themselves (and each other)
to a final, Last Supper-communion feast of
McDonalds take-out ‘on Jann’, courtesy of the graces of
Young David’s Rolling Stone expense account —
Foster :
Uh, We'll take all of these.
David :
Please, Let Me.
Foster :
Oh, no, you don't have
to pay for my shit.
David :
No, no. It's not coming out of my pocket,
I have an expense account.
Foster :
If you insist, yeah.
Foster :
Mmm.
David :
If we ate like this all the time...
Foster :
Yeah.
David :
What would be wrong with that?
Foster :
(CHUCKLES) What would be wrong?
Like, besides your teeth falling out
and getting really fat?
It's got none of the
nourishment
of real Food...
David :
No.
Foster :
...but it is real pleasurable, masticating
and swallowing this stuff.
David :
Yes, it is.
Foster :
It's like seductive commercial entertainment.
David :
Mmm. But What Saves Us is that
most entertainment is not very good.
Foster :
Yeah, but what about good seductive
commercial entertainment, like, uh,
Die Hard?
David :
That first Die Hard?
Foster :
The first Die Hard.
David :
Great film.
Foster :
No, it's a brilliant film.
David :
The Best.
Foster :
Absolutely.
David :
So good.
Foster :
I Think if The Book
is about anything...
David :
Yeah.
Foster :
...it's about The Question of Why.
David :
Right.
Foster :
Why am I watching all this shit?
David :
Right. Right, yeah.
Foster :
It's not about the shit.
It's about Me.
David :
Okay.
Foster :
So, why am I Doing it?
And what's so American
about What I'm Doing?
….You know, the minute I start talking about this stuff,
it sounds, number one, very vague,
and number two, really reductive.
David :
No, no, no. I don't think you're
being vague or reductive at all.
Foster :
Okay, because I don't have a diagnosis or a
System of Prescription as to why We...
When I Say "We," I mean
people just like You and Me :
Mostly white, upper-middle class,
obscenely well-educated,
doing really interesting jobs,
sitting in really expensive chairs...
David :
Yeah.
Foster :
...watching the best, most sophisticated
electronic equipment Money can buy —
Why Do We Feel so empty and unhappy?
David :
Right. No. It's kind of like Hamlet,
except with channel surfing.
Foster :
I'm not saying that watching TV is bad
or a waste of your time, any more than
masturbation is bad or
a waste of your time —
It's a pleasurable way to
spend a few minutes,
but if you're doing it
20 times a day...
David :
Right.
Foster :
If your primary sexual relationship is
with your own hand, something is Wrong.
David :
Yeah, except, at least with masturbation, some
action is being performed though, right?
Isn't that... That's better.
Foster :
…..okay, You can make Me look like
a real dick if You print this.
David :
(CHUCKLES) No, I'm not going to,
but if you can, Speak into The Mic.
Foster :
Yes, you're performing
muscular movements
with your hand as you're jerking off,
but what you're really doing,
I Think, is --
You're running A Movie
in Your Head.
Yeah, I’ve seen This Bit before.
You said that sentence
got away from you.
…It…. got away from me, yeah.
Next thing You’re Going to Say,
is “Well, I can Hear You.”
Well, I can Hear You.
You're having A Fantasy-relationship
with somebody who is not real, strictly
to stimulate a neurological response.
This is Impossible!
I know, it’s brilliant!
Foster :
Foster :
So look, as The Internet grows
in the next 10, 15 years and
Virtual-Reality pornography
becomes a reality...
David :
Hmm.
Foster :
...we're gonna have to develop some
real Machinery inside Our Guts to
turn-off pure, unalloyed pleasure.
Or, I don't know about you,
I'm gonna have to Leave The Planet.
David :
Why?
Foster :
'Cause The Technology is just
gonna get better and better,
and it's gonna get easier and easier,
and more and more convenient,
and more and more pleasurable
to sit alone —
With images on a screen given to Us
by People who Do Not Love Us,
but want Our Money.
And that's fine in low doses.
But if it's the basic main staple
of your diet, You're gonna Die.
David :
Well, come on.
Foster :
In a very Meaningful way,
You're Going to Die.
The Following Morning :
The Last Day.
(Foster puts a wad of chewing
tobacco in his mouth — )
David :
Hey, can I try that, actually?
Foster :
Yeah, it takes some getting
used-to. Go ahead.
David :
Thanks.
Foster :
(Points at his mouth) It goes
right there.
David :
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I know.
Mmm. Hmm.
That's, um... Mmm.
Actually, can I use
your bathroom
for a second?
Foster :
(quietly smirking) I believe
it's unoccupied.
David :
Right. Hmm.
(WATER RUNNING)
- (FLIPS PAPER)
