Terminus

 But weren’t The Romans warlike? 

Yes, They were. They wanted to survive. 

A small consideration, easy to overlook. 

They were not, for most of their history, aggressive.

A strange thing to say, given that they rose from A Village in the hills near the mouth of the Tiber, to the capital of The Mediterranean World and beyond. But it’s True. 

Until the late and decadent years of The Republic, when generals like Marius and Sulla commandeered professional armies loyal to themselves (for they, and no longer The Senate, paid them in plunder and land), Rome usually didn’t go forth to seek wars. 

But Rome also didn’t duck any, either. 

This conservative attitude calls for explanation. Unlike most peoples at the time, Rome was not governed by A King who could increase his wealth, consolidate His Authority, and win an immortal name by military conquest. The consuls served for far too short a time to conduct a war of any magnitude; besides, there were two of them. 

And, as Polybius notes, it was the Senate’s prerogative “either to celebrate a general’s successes with pomp and magnify them, or to obscure and belittle them.” 

Until Rome was flooded by the wealth from the east after the Third Punic War (146 BC), The State depended for its economy and its political stability on the small landed farmer. This ideal is ingrained so deeply in the Roman mind that, even after the rise of The Empire under Augustus brought in cheap grain from Egypt and undercut the Italian farms, the poets Horace and Virgil still look upon it with nostalgia, Virgil writing four stupendous poems, his Georgics, on farming, animal husbandry, winemaking, and beekeeping, always with an eye to the political and theological lessons they suggest. 

But people who farm have little opportunity for professional warfare. 

The Romans expressed their deep conservatism by a reverence for limits : one of their more important (and unusual) gods was Terminus, god of boundary stones. 

This reverence extended to their oaths and treaties. Not that they didn’t interpret treaties favorably to themselves, and act accordingly. This they did most notoriously when they sought cause against their nemesis Carthage, picking the fight in the Third Punic War. 

But that reverence restrained them from engaging in the trickery they associated with Greece. 

Consider a story from the First Punic War.

A Roman general named Regulus was captured by the Carthaginians and brought to Africa. The Senate of Carthage charged him to return to Rome to present terms for peace. 

Regulus was to swear that, if Rome refused the terms, he would return to Carthage as A Prisoner and be executed. 

The Carthaginians depended upon his oath, and figured that, since he might prefer living to dying, he would persuade his fellow citizens to accept the treaty. 

Regulus went to Rome, persuaded his countrymen to reject The Treaty, and returned to Carthage, where he was tortured and put to death. 

Is the story True? There’s no evidence to suggest that it is not True. The Romans believed it, and held Regulus up as a model of Roman integrity and manhood. 

By contrast, they considered the mythical Odysseus, whom Homer calls “the man of many turnings,” a liar and a villain. “The inventor of impieties,” Virgil calls him (Aeneid 2.233). 

Rome won her wars and increased her territory. But it was centuries before she claimed control over Italy: as late as the fourth century BC, Gauls from beyond the Alps set fire to The City, assisted on their way by Gauls on the Italian side. 

But the real story in the Roman conquest of Italy is political, not military. That is, The Romans — unlike The Athenians — did something sensible after their victories over the Samnites, the Aequians, the Volscians, and most of the other rival states on the peninsula. They cleared out the few genuine enemies of Peace, ruthlessly punishing those who led armies against them. 

Then they incorporated the lands into the Roman state, usually granting citizenship to the leading families, and extending citizenship, on evidence of good behaviour, to the free men of The City. 

They made them Romans.  

PEACEFUL SLUMBERS FUNERAL HOME

(Same scene, Mulder's take on it)

MULDER VOICE OVER: 

Upon arriving at the funeral home I made an interesting observation. One which you apparently didn't hear.

MULDER TALKING TO MORTICIAN: 

That's a whole lot of caskets.

MORTICIAN: 

Largest in-stock selection 

in the state.

MULDER: 

Why would a town with a population of only 361 need that?

MORTICIAN: 

Repeat business. 

(He's the only one who chuckles) 

Mortician humor. 

Excuse me. 

(He leaves)

MULDER VOICE OVER: 

Apparently your mind was somewhere else. 

(Sheriff Hartwell walks in. Scully is dazzled)

SCULLY: 

Hoo, boy.

(Mulder's version is somewhat the same in appearance, except for when he speaks, he's got massive buck teeth)

HARTWELL: 

Y'all must be the gov'ment people. 

(Mulder makes a scared face with his lips apart like Mulder's version of poor Lucien) 

I'm Lucien Hartwell. 

(They all smile at each other, Lucien in welcome, Mulder in horror, and Scully with pleasure)

SCENE 17 

TODAY 

X FILES OFFICE

SCULLY: 

He had big buck teeth?

MULDER: 

He had a slight over bite.

SCULLY: 

No, he didn't. 

(Mulder shrugs) 

And that's significant? How?

MULDER: 

I'm just trying to be thorough. 

So, anyway, then we went 

to take a look at the body.

SCENE 18 

EXAMINATION ROOM

(During this same scene, Scully is swooning over the handsome sheriff with the horrific teeth)

HARTWELL: 

Here we go.

MULDER: 

(professionally) 

No exam has been done?

HARTWELL: 

No, sir. This is just like 

we found him in the motel room 

as is.

SCULLY: (Dreamily gazing at the sheriff, repeats) No exam has been done?

HARTWELL: Uh ... No, ma'am. Once I heard y'all was interested I figured we'd best leave it to the experts. (Scully smiles broadly) Now, uh ... that can't be what it looks like, right?

MULDER: That depends on what you think it looks like, Sheriff Hartwell. Vampires have always been with us, in ancient myths and stories passed down from early man. (Scully stands behind Mulder, smiling, eyes wide, rocks from side to side, goofing around) From the Babylonian Ekimu to the Chinese Kuang-Shi to Motetz Dam of the Hebrews, the Mormo of ancient Greece and Rome to the more familiar Nosferatu of Transylvania.

HARTWELL: Mormo. Yeah.

SCULLY: In short, Sheriff, no. This can't be what it looks like. I think what we're dealing with here is simply a case of some lunatic. (She chuckles) Who, uh, has watched too many Bela Lugosi movies. He wishes that he could transfigure himself into a creature of the night.

HARTWELL: Yeah. Okay. Uh ... what she said, that's what I'm thinking, and, uh ... Yeah. (Scully loves being right)

MULDER: Still, that leaves us in something of a quandary because there are as many different kinds of vampires as there are cultures that fear them. (Scully yawns and covers her mouth) Some don't even subsist on blood. The Bulgarian Ubour, for example, eats only manure.

SCULLY: (sarcastically) Thank you.

MULDER: To the Serbs, a prime indicator of vampirism is red hair. (raises his hand to Scully's head) Some vampires are thought to be eternal. Others are thought to have a life span of only 40 days. (Scully's pointing at her watch, rolling her eyes, carrying on.) Sunlight kills certain vampires while others come and go as they please, day or night.

(Scully sighs deeply from boredom).

SCULLY: If there's a point, Mulder, please feel free to come to it.

MULDER: My point is that we don't know exactly what we're looking for. What kind of vampire, or if you prefer, what kind of vampire this killer wishes himself to be.

(Mulder notices the untied shoes on the corpse and stands with his head between his feet)

SCENE 19 

TODAY X FILES OFFICE

SCULLY: Now, why is it so important that his shoes were untied?

MULDER: I'm getting to it.

CEMETERY - DAY

MULDER VOICE OVER: So, while you stayed behind to do the autopsy, the Sheriff drove me to the town cemetery.

(Hartwell opens the gate and they walk through. This cemetery is certainly not off the beaten path, the creepier the better)

HARTWELL: Agent Mulder, you mind me asking you why we're out here?

MULDER: Historically, cemeteries were thought to be a haven for vampires as are castles, catacombs and swamps, but unfortunately, you don't have any of those.

HARTWELL: We used to have swamps only the EPA made us take to calling them wetlands.

MULDER: Yeah. So, we're out here looking for any signs of vampiric activity.

HARTWELL: Which would be like, uh...?

MULDER: Broken or shifted tombstones. The absence of birds singing.

HARTWELL: There you go. Cuz I ain't hearing any birds singing. Right? Course, it's winter, and we ain't got no birds. Is there anything else?

MULDER: A faint groaning coming from under the earth. The sound of manducation -- of the creature eating its own death shroud.

HARTWELL: Nope. No manuh... ma-ma...

MULDER: Manducation.

HARTWELL: Manducation. No.

MULDER: Now, Sheriff, I know my methods may seem a little odd to you, but..

HARTWELL: Hey, look, y'all work for the federal guv'mint and that's all I need to know. I mean, CIA, Secret Service -- y'all run the show, so --

MULDER: It's just that my gut instinct tells me that the killer will visit this place. That it may well hold some fascination -- some kind of siren call for him, you know. (A horn honks)

RONNIE: Howdy, Sheriff.

(The teen delivery boy is in a red car on the street, a Gremlin)

HARTWELL: Oh, hey, Ronnie. How's it going?

RONNIE: Can't complain.

HARTWELL: Well, all right, then. (Ronnie drives off)

MULDER: Maybe after nightfall, Sheriff, but he'll come. Oh, he'll come.

(we watch the car drive off down the road)

SCENE 20 

CEMETERY - NIGHT

(Mulder looking around with his flashlight)

MULDER VOICE OVER: So, we staked out the cemetery.

SCENE 21 

TODAY X FILES OFFICE

SCULLY: Mulder, shoelaces?

MULDER: Hmm?

SCULLY: On the corpse. You were going to tell me what was meaningful about finding untied shoelaces.

MULDER: I'm getting to it.

SCENE 22 

CEMETERY - NIGHT

(Mulder is spreading sunflower seeds around the cemetery, he gets into Sheriff's car)

MULDER: Sunflower seed? (He accidently drops some) Sorry.

HARTWELL: No, thanks. Do you mind ... (he picks up a seed that fell from Mulder's bag and tosses it) do you mind me asking you what you were ...

MULDER: Historically, certain types of seeds were thought to fascinate vampires. Chiefly oats and millet, but you make do with what you have. Remember when I said before that we didn't know what type of vampire we were looking for?

HARTWELL: Yeah.

MULDER: Well, oddly enough, there seems to be one obscure fact which in all the stories told by the different cultures is exactly the same, and that's that vampires are really, really obsessive-compulsive. Yeah, you toss a handful of seeds at one, no matter what he's doing he's got to stop and pick it up. If he sees a knotted rope, he's got to untie it. It's in his nature. In fact, that's why I'm guessing that our victim's shoelaces were untied.

HARTWELL: Yeah, obsessive... Like Rain Man. (Mulder nods) It's like when that old boy dropped them matchsticks, he had to pick them all up. Same thing, right?

MULDER: Well, he didn't actually pick them up. He counted them.

HARTWELL: Oh, yeah. 247. Right off the top of your head.

MULDER: Well, if he had picked them up he would have been a vampire.

HARTWELL: Yeah. I'll tell you what. I know I'm in law enforcement, but I'd like to take him to Vegas myself. Am I right?

MULDER: Well, that would be illegal, right?

HARTWELL: He's like a little calculator.

MULDER: Yeah.