Red Guardsman

The Other Widow :

 This would be a cool way to die.

Tell me that's a good sign for us!

The Widow :

Move your ass!

Get us outta here!

Wait!

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Yes!

I need some help up here!

Oh, that was exciting.

Oh, I'm so proud of you girls.

Oh, you can't hear me --

Okay.

(Puts on a Headset)

Okay.

(The Women are intentionally ignoring him.)

Why The Aggression

Is it your Time of The Month?

The Other Widow :

I don't get my period, dipshit. 

I don't have a uterus.

Or ovaries.

Yeah. That's What Happens when 

The Red Room gives you 

an involuntary hysterectomy.

They kind of just go in and they rip out all of your reproductive organs.

They just get right in there 

and they chop them all away.

Everything out, so you can't have babies. 

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Okay, okay. 

The Other Widow :

Okay! 

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Okay!

You don't have to get 

so clinical and nasty.

The Other Widow :

Oh, well, I was about to talk about 

fallopian tubes, but okay.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

It means so much to me 

that you came back for me.

The Widow :

No. No. You're gonna tell us 

how to get to The Red Room.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Look at You. All Business.

The Widow :

Trust me, this isn't Pleasure.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Little Natasha, all indoctrinated 

into The Western Agenda.

The Widow :

I chose to Go West to become an Avenger.

'Cause they treated me like Family.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Really? Family?

Well, where are they now?

Where is that Family now?

The Widow :

Tell me where The Red Room is.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

I have no idea. Okay?

The Widow :

Come on. 

You and Dreykov were like...

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Dreykov? 

The Widow :

Yeah.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

General Dreykov, My Friend, huh?

Gives me Glory... 

Soviet Union's First 

and Only Super-Soldier.

I could have been more famous 

than Captain America.

Then he buries me in Ohio 

on that stupid mission.

Three years!

So Tedious, boring me to tears.

(Yelena glares in his direction)

No offense.

Then puts me in prison 

for the rest of my life. Why.

Why? Why would he put me in... 

You know why?

'Cause maybe I want to talk about 

The Withering of The State.

Or maybe I don't like his hair or something

and I say something casually about that.

Maybe, you know,

I want The Party 

to feel actually like A Party

instead of this sourpuss 

organization.

But instead, no.

He puts me in prison 

for the rest of my life.

He just runs off and hides --

I'm not even the one 

who, uh, you know...

I'm not The One Who 

Killed His Daughter.

The Other Widow :

Can we throw him out the window now?

The Widow :

I think we should wait till 

we get to a higher altitude.

The Other Widow :

All right.

Lets go ask Melina.

The Widow :

Wait, Mom Melina?

We thought she was dead.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

You cannot kill 

A Fox that swift.

The Widow :

What?

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

She was The Scientist, 

The Strategist. I was The Muscle.

She worked directly for Dreykov 

far more than I ever did.

The Widow :

Wait. Are you telling me that Melina 

is working for The Red Room, present day?

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

She works remotely outside St. Petersburg.

The Other Widow :

I don't think we have enough fuel 

for St. Petersburg.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

No, we're good. 

We'll make it.

The Other Widow :

Okay.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

You should've brought 

the Avengers' superjet.

The Other Widow :

I swear, if I hear one more word from him,

I will kick him in the face. 

The Widow :

He's The Worst.

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Natasha.

Natasha. Natasha.

Come here, I want to ask you something.

Come, it's important. 

The Widow :

What?

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Did He talk to you about me?

What?

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Did He talk to you about me? 

You know, trading War Stories?

Who? What are you talking about?

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Captain America.

My Great Adversary in this 

theatre of Geopolitical Conflict.

Not so much A Nemesis.

More like a contemporary, 

you know? Coequal.

I always thought there was 

a great deal of mutual respect...

The Widow :

Wait. You haven't seen 

either one of us in 20 years

and you're gonna ask me about you?

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

What is with this tension?

Did I do something wrong?

The Widow :

Is that a serious question?

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

I only ever loved you girls.

I did My Best to make sure 

you would succeed, to achieve 

Your Fullest Potential,

and everything worked out. 

The Widow :

Everything worked out?

Red Guardsman 

(a.k.a., "Dad") :

Yes. For you, yes.

We accomplished Our Mission in Ohio.

Yelena, you went on to become 

The Greatest Child Assassin

The World has ever known.

No one can match 

your efficiency, 

your ruthlessness.

And Natasha, not just a spy, 

not just toppling regimes,

destroying empires 

from within,

but an Avenger.

You both have killed 

so many people --

Your Ledgers must be 

dripping, just gushing red.

I couldn't be more proud of you.

The Other Widow :

Okay. You can... No.

Let go of me now.

You smell really bad.

So, are we there yet?