Jennifer

That’s right. Relationships: easy to get into, hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? ‘Cause at some point you just stop talking. That’s right, everybody stops talking after a while. You know how it is. You come home and you start nodding. ”Yeah, we cool. ”I’m gonna get a little something to eat.” 

Why do you stop talking? 

‘Cause at some point, you have heard everything this person has to say… and it makes you sick to your stomach. 

You know what they’re gonna say before it even comes out their mouth… and you just wanna stab them in the neck with a pencil! 

Your can’t take the shit no more! And they’re like, ”Remember that time?” ”Yeah, I remember that time!” -”I ever tell you about–” -”Yeah, you told me about that time! ”Stop telling me the same shit over and over again! ”Why don’t you go out and get kidnapped, have some new shit happen to you?” That’s right. Fellas, you gotta talk. That’s women’s biggest complaint: ”You don’t talk. ”You need to talk, let’s talk. You don’t talk.” That’s right. Women love to talk. lf they had talking in the Olympics, a man wouldn’t stand a chance. Women love to talk, but they wanna talk to you. They wanna talk to their man. But women don’t want you to talk-talk. Women just want you to listen-listen. All a woman really wants you to do is ask her the correct questions… that will allow her to run her fucking mouth! You set her up, she’ll knock them down.

Fellas, you want your woman to be happy? All you got to say is, ”How was your day? ”Honey, how was your day?” Know why? ‘Cause ”How was your day?” is a minute conversation to a woman. And as a man, you don’t really gotta talk. You gotta just act like you’re talking. 

”Get out of here. Go on! I don’t believe it. ”You don’t say! Really? Get out of here! ”Go on. I don’t believe it. You don’t say? Get out of here. 

”l told you that bitch crazy!” 

You gotta throw in, ”l told you that bitch crazy.” 

You know why? 

‘Cause every woman’s got another woman at her job that she can’t stand. 

Women, y’all exaggerate everything. 

You turn it into some Dynasty shit, like: ”She’s trying to destroy me!” 

What the fuck are you talking about? 

You wrap up bags at J.C. Penney’s! 

What’s she doing, ripping up your paper? 

Fellas, you gotta talk. 

Women, exact opposite. 

Y’all gotta learn when not to talk. That’s right. 

You ever notice how no man comes home straight from work? No man comes home straight from work. A man get off work, he got to go somewhere. He got to drink something, he got to smoke something… he got to watch the game, he got to hang with his boys… he got to take a drive. 

He got to do something that will mentally prepare him… for all the talking he gonna hear when he get home. 

Ladies, it ain’t that you talk too much. You just talk too much as soon as we get in the fucking door. Let a man get situated. We don’t need to hear everything right away. Soon as you take one step in, ”You’re not gonna believe this….” 

Let me get my other foot in the fucking door! Let me get something to eat! Let me get something to drink! Let me take a shit! Go in the fucking kitchen and get me my big piece of chicken!

I’m out of here. Thank you, New York!