The Chase

What started all this chasing?

When was the very first chase?

Well, in order to answer that question, 

we'll have to swing back in time a little bitty bit…..

In The Beginning,

all was Peaceful and Quiet.

Quite Dark, too.

Oh, once in a while, 

a star exploded...

But usually it was just a small one,

only a million miles or so

in diameter.

Anyway, nobody complained,

which was ODD, 

until you realised that there wasn't nobody around to complain….

So for about 15-20 billion years, 

things went along smoothly and pleasantly 

until one day, very deep

in a sixth-rate galaxy called the milky way, 

circling around a fourth-rate star called The SUN, 

on a tenth-rate planet,

a STRANGE creature appeared,

a strange creature called MAN.

Man looks to His Left; 

Looks to His Right —

Man :

I'll take it.

Bugs: 

And so, neanderthal person 

quickly invented the first chase...

AND, the first competition...

And the first LOVE...

AND, the first women's lib...

And the first Domesticity

and the first BOREDOM.

And so, neanderthal persons, in order to alleviate boredom, invented the first GRAFFITI…..

Woman :

(VERY Bored)

What's on The Wall tonight, dear?

Man :

(VERY Bored)

Westerns…. sitcoms…..soaps.

Bugs: 

And so, the invention of Boredom

led to the invention 

of Moving Pictures.

But after about 25,000 years of this 

and having developed severe cricks in their necks, 

Man and Woman became bored again, 

even with all those brilliant, 

ultramodern, innovative ideas, 

like the first motion-picture cameras.

[ They are watching “The Kiss” (1901) ]

Man :

I'm kind of tired of Documentaries.

Woman :

Frankly, I wouldn't mind a few Laughs myself.

Bugs: 

And so it came to pass that COMEDY was invented,

and Comedy begat PRATFALL...

And CUSTARD PIES...

And DOUBLE-TAKES.

But most of all, Comedy 

begat CHASES.

And Chases begat CHASES...

And CHASES...

And CHASES and CHASES...

Until The Mind boggleth.

And Then, One Day,

another STRANGE and HISTORIC 

Creature appeared:

ME.