Nurse Rached

The West Wing on Star Trek

CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY Josh is sitting at his desk looking at a computer screen.

JOSH Donna?

DONNA (OS) Yeah?

JOSH Something weird has happened here.

Donna appears in doorway.

DONNA Where?

JOSH LemonLyman....

DONNA No.

JOSH They don't seem to be taking my response in the spirit in which it was intended.

DONNA Yeah.

JOSH Seems to be a very unusual social structure. For instance, there is A Leader who seems to pride herself on her organisational skills and a certain amount of discipline.

DONNA Right. That's what's called a control freak.

JOSH [getting visibly upset] Well, she does seems to do an awful lot of scolding. "You've posted in the wrong place. Stay on topic people. Don't use capital letters. I don't have time to tell you twice," when clearly, she does have time to tell us twice. But that's not The Problem.

DONNA No.

Josh clears his throat then begins to read a post on the LemonLyman Board.

JOSH "Someone need to deal with Josh's planet-sized ego, by teaching him Government 101. Who made him overlord of the Democratic party?" And someone else writes, "Is Josh delusional, or is he actively trying to destroy the separation of powers?"

DONNA Well, are you?

Josh No.

DONNA Then turn off the computer, shut these people up, and let's go back to work.

JOSH I think I need to clarify my original post.

DONNA Josh, there's a primetime press conference tomorrow and a new energy policy that you have spent months shepherding down the field, and now, on the one-yard line...

JOSH Sit down in the chair.

DONNA Has the pressure for you to get the energy package...?

JOSH Sit down in the chair.

DONNA I think you've gone 'round the bend.

JOSH I'm dictating now. I don't think it falls under the category of "outrageous" to suggest that I might have friends on the other end of the Avenue who have the phone number of the GAO. Let me put this more plainly. The White House can get a GAO review of anything it wants without posing a threat to the separation of powers. And I believe I'll use capital, lowercase, or Sanskrit, right up until the moment the font police cuff me and read me Miranda!

DONNA That'll show them.

JOSH See, I think these are good people, by and large, but they've come under the thumb of a dictatorial ruler. So, as with a small, Central American country, my role is to incite the people to topple her

DONNA You're way round the bend. Can I get you a damp towel or something?

JOSH No, but do we have any Yoo-Hoo?

DONNA Yeah.

JOSH I'll take one.

DONNA I'm on it.