Bananas

See,  I think 

these are good people,

by and large, but they've 

come under the thumb of 

a dictatorial ruler.

So, as with a small, 

Central American country, 

my role is to incite

The People to topple her —

"Technichally I outrank you"-WEST WING

JOSH 

The Internet-people have gone crazy.

DONNA [sarcastically] 

You're kidding......!!

The two of them start to walk together.

JOSH 

They're calling the GAO "General Josh's Standing Army", 

and saying I don't understand it's mandate and purpose. 

They're saying if I could get a review of anything I want,

that I should start by reviewing the job of Deputy C.O.S. 

Then one guy compares me to a poor man's Clark Clifford, 

and a page and a half of posts, debating whether or not 

I was mocking Egyptians with the Sanskrit reference.

They come to a halt.

DONNA [snappishly] I told you they were hysterical.

JOSH I thought you meant they were funny.

DONNA 

They're not.

They start walking again, voices rising.

JOSH 

I know they're not! It's

 "Lord of the Flies" in there.

DONNA 

Well, who invited you in the first place?

JOSH

 It's got My Name on it. Look, I don't want to hear about it anymore. 

[glances at his watch] We got an energy plan in ten minutes. I'm gonna...

He starts to walk away, and C.J. comes up the HALLWAY behind him.

C.J. Oh, Josh!

JOSH Yeah?

He turns and waits as she walks towards him.

C.J. The Federal Page of the Washington Post just called Carol to confirm that YOU'RE the Josh Lyman who stated on an Internet website that The White House could order a GAO review on anything it WANTS.

JOSH "......without threatening the separation of powers", is what I was saying.

C.J. You POSTED on a WEBSITE?!?

Donna emerges from a door behind C.J., and they exchange a look.

JOSH I was communicating with The People.

C.J. Really?

Josh is momentarily distracted watching Donna walk past him into his

office. Then he steps closer to C.J. and speaks in a hushed voice.

JOSH 

C.J., it's a... crazy place. 

It's got this dictatorial leader, 

who I'm sure wears a muumuu and 

chain-smokes Parliaments. 

[makes a smoking gesture with his fingers]

C.J. What did you go there for in the FIRST place?

JOSH It's called "LemonLyman.com".

C.J. gives him a pointed shove in the direction of his office. They walk a

few paces and stop outside the doorway.

C.J. Let me EXPLAIN something to you, this is sort of my FIELD -- 

The people ON these sites?

They're the cast of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

Donna picks up her jacket inside the office and walks out between the two of them.

C.J. [cont] The muumuu-Wearing Parliament-smoker? 

That's Nurse Ratched. When Nurse Ratched is unhappy,

the patients are unhappy. 

You? You're McMurphy. 

You swoop in there with your card games and your fishing trips...

JOSH [shrugging defensively] I didn't swoop in, I came in exactly the same way everybody else did.

C.J. 

Well, now I'm telling you to open the ward room window and climb on out before they give you a pre-frontal lobotomy, and I have to SMOTHER you with a PILLOW.

Josh regards her in silence for a moment.

JOSH You're Chief Brom-

C.J. I'm Chief Bromden, yes, at this particular moment -- 

I'm assigning an intern from the press office to that web site -- 

They're going to check it every night before they go home. If they

discover you've been there, I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass...

Josh looks down at the floor.

C.J. What?

JOSH [with a slight shrug] Well... technically, I outrank you.

C.J. [shouting] SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!

JOSH [quickly] Okay.

C.J. Okay?

JOSH How you doing?

C.J. Are we ready?

JOSH [nods] We are.

C.J. I believe we are. You want to walk over?

He hesitates, then turns to walk with her.

JOSH [calling out] Donna, let's go, it's time.