My Cousin Vinny :
Your Honour, wouId you instruct the bailiff to escort Miss Vito to the witness stand?
HoId up your right hand.
Do you swear to teII the truth, The WhoIe Truth, and Nothing But The Truth?
Our Lady :
Yeah.
My Cousin Vinny :
Miss Vito. You're supposed to be some kinda expert in automobiIes.
Is that correct?
Is that correct?
The Judge :
Will you pIease answer the counseI?
No. I hate him.
My Cousin Vinny :
Your Honour, may I treat Miss Vito as a hostiIe witness?
Our Lady :
You think I'm hostiIe now, wait till you see me tonight.
The Judge :
Do you two know each other?
My Cousin Vinny :
Yeah, she's my fiance.
The Judge :
Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.
I object to this witness.
Improper foundation.
I'm not aware of this person's quaIifications.
I'd Iike to voir dire this witness as to the extent of her expertise.
Granted.
Mr Trotter, you may proceed.
Mm-hm.
Miss Vito, what's your current profession?
Our Lady :
I'm an out-of-work hairdresser.
Out-of-work hairdresser.
Now, in what way does that quaIify you as an expert in automobiIes?
It doesn't.
Well, in what way are you qualified?
Our Lady :
Well, my father was a mechanic.
His father was a mechanic.
My mother's father was a mechanic.
My three brothers are mechanics.
Four uncles on my father's side...
Miss Vito, your famiIy's obviousIy quaIified.
But, uh... have you ever worked as a mechanic?
Yeah. In my father's garage, yeah.
As a mechanic?
What'd you do in your father's garage?
Our Lady :
Tune-ups, oil changes, brake relining, engine rebuiIds, rebuiIds on trannies...
OK. OK. But does being an ex-mechanic quaIify you as being expert on tyre marks?
Our Lady :
No. Thank you. Goodbye.
Sit down and stay there until you're told to leave.
My Cousin Vinny :
Your Honour. Miss Vito's expertise is in generaI automotive knowledge.
It is in this area that her testimony will be applicable.
Now, if Mr Trotter wishes to voir dire the witness as to the extent of her expertise in this area, I'm sure he's gonna be more than satisfied.
OK.
All right. All right.
Now, uh... Miss Vito.
Being an expert on generaI automotive knowledge, can you tell me...
What wouId the correct ignition timing be on a 1955 BeI Air Chevrolet, with a 327 cubic-inch engine, and a four-barreI carburettor?
Our Lady :
That's a bullshit question.
Does that mean that you can't answer it?
Our Lady :
It's impossibIe to answer.
Because you don't know the answer!
Our Lady :
Nobody couId answer that question.
Your Honour, I move to disquaIify Miss Vito as a expert witness.
Can you answer the question?
Our Lady :
No. It is a trick question.
Why is it a trick question?
My Cousin Vinny :
Watch this.
Our Lady :
Cos Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55.
The 327 didn't come out tiII '62.
And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barreI carb till '64.
However, in 1964 the correct ignition timing wouId be four degrees before top, dead centre.
WeII... Uh...
She's acceptabIe, Your Honour.
My Cousin Vinny :
Your Honour, this is a picture taken by my fiance outside the Sac-o-Suds.
Can we agree on this?
Our Lady :
Yeah.
My Cousin Vinny :
Thank you.
I'd Iike to submit this picture of the tyre tracks as evidence.
Mr Trotter.
No objection, Your Honour.
My Cousin Vinny :
Miss Vito. Did you take this picture?
You know I did.
My Cousin Vinny :
And what is this picture of?
You know what it's of.
My Cousin Vinny :
Miss Vito, it has been argued by me, the defence, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-o-Suds, at the same time, driving identicaI metaIIic mint-green 1964 Buick SkyIark convertibles.
Now, can you tell us,
by what you see in this picture,...
..if the defence's case hoIds water?
Miss Vito. PIease answer the question.
Does the defence's case hold water?
Our Lady :
No.
The defence is wroang.
(murmuring)
My Cousin Vinny :
Are you sure?
Our Lady :
I'm positive.
My Cousin Vinny :
How couId you be so sure?
Our Lady :
Because there is no way that these tyre marks were made by a '64 Buick SkyIark.
These marks were made by a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
Objection.
Can we cIarify whether the witness is stating opinion or fact?
This is your opinion?
Our Lady :
It's a fact.
My Cousin Vinny :
I find it hard to believe that this kind of information couId be ascertained simpIy by looking at a picture!
Our Lady :
Our Lady :
Would you like me to explain...?
My Cousin Vinny :
I wouId LOVE to hear this....!
The Judge:
So wouId I.
Our Lady :
The car that made these two equal-length tyre-marks had positraction.
You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not avaiIabIe on the '64 SkyIark.
My Cousin Vinny :
And why not? What is positraction?
Our Lady :
It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tyres.The '64 SkyIark had a regular differential which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on The Gas, one tyre spins, the other does nothin'.
Woman of The Jury :
That's right.
My Cousin Vinny :
Is that it?Our Lady :
No. There's MOAH.
When the left tyre mark goes up on the kerb
and the right tyre stays flat and even...
and the right tyre stays flat and even...
Well, the '64 SkyIark had a solid rear axle, so, when the left tyre goes up on the kerb, the right tyre tilts and rides along its edge.
But that didn't happen here.
The tyre mark stayed flat and even.
This car had an independent rear suspension.
Now, in the '60s there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks.
One was the Corvette, which couId never
be confused with the Buick Skylark.
The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
My Cousin Vinny :
And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint-green paint?
Our Lady :
They WHUH!!!
My Cousin Vinny :
Thank you, Miss Vito.
No more questions.
Thank you very, very much.
Thank you very, very much.
You've been a lovely, lovely witness.
(murmuring)
Mr Trotter, would you like to question Miss Vito?
(judge) Mr Trotter.
Mr Trotter!
Uh.
Uh, no. No, Your Honour.|No further questions.
In that case, Your Honour,|I'd Iike to recaII George WiIbur.
Miss Vito, you can stand down.
You reaIise you're stiII under oath.
Yes, Your Honour.
Mr WiIbur, how'd you Iike|Miss Vito's testimony?
Very impressive.
She's cute too, huh?
- Yes, very.|- (laughter)
- (judge) Mr Gambini.|- Sorry, Your Honour.
Mr WiIbur, in your expert opinion,...
..wouId you say that everything Miss Vito|said on the stand was 100% accurate?
- I'd have to say that.|- And is there any way in the worId...
..the Buick that the defendants|were driving made those tyre tracks?
Come on. You can say. It's OK, they know.
ActuaIIy,...
- ..no.|- No.
Thank you. No more questions.
Your Honour, I caII Sheriff FarIey.
(judge) You may stand down now, Mr WiIbur.
- Sheriff, you reaIise you're stiII under oath?|- Yes, sir.
Uh, Sheriff FarIey.
- What'd you find out?|-
On a hunch, I took it upon myseIf to check if there was any information on a '63 Pontiac Tempest stolen or abandoned recentIy.
On a hunch, I took it upon myseIf to check if there was any information on a '63 Pontiac Tempest stolen or abandoned recentIy.
This computer read-out confirms that two boys,...
..who fit the defendants' description,|were arrested two days ago...
..by Sheriff TiIman|in Jasper County, Georgia,...
..for driving a stoIen metaIIic|mint-green 1963 Pontiac Tempest...
..with a white convertibIe top,...
..MicheIin modeI XGV tyres, size 75R-14.
- Is that it?|- No.
A .357 Magnum revoIver|was found in their possession.
Sheriff FarIey, just to refresh|the court's memory,...
..what caIibre buIIet|was used to murder Jimmy WiIIis?
- A .357 Magnum.|- The defence rests.
Mr Trotter.
Your Honour, in Iight of Miss Vito's|and Mr WiIbur's testimony,...
..the State'd Iike to dismiss aII charges.
Order in the court!
Order here.
I have to get out of here by three.|Make sure aII the bags are in the car.
Vinny, I'm sorry to have ever doubted you|at any time, and for this I apoIogise.
Under the circumstances... You were|great. I just want to say thank you.
You're weIcome. I hope we can do it again.
- Fine job, Mr Gambini.|- Thanks.
- Y'aII come back and see us any time now.|- I'II see.
- Vin.|- BiII.
- You're weIcome.|- Vin, I....
Listen. Take your time, pick the right words,|get back to New York, gimme a caII.
- Vinny, you did a terrific job.|- Thanks.
You got an open invitation|any time you come here.
- We can get us a deer next time.|- OK. Thanks a Iot.
I feeI Iike if I don't get outta here|now, I might never be abIe to Ieave.
Mr Gambini.
I have a fax here from the cIerk of New York.
I owe you an apoIogy, sir.
I'm honoured to shake your hand.
''Win some, Iose some.''
Your courtroom manner may be rather|unconventionaI, but I gotta teII you,...
..you're one heIIuva triaI Iawyer.
Thank you. And you're one heIIuvajudge.
Ooh, sorry.
(judge) Bye, now.
What the heII was that aII about back there?
I had a friend send a fax to the judge,...
..confirming the very impressive|IegaI stature of Jerry Callo.
What friends you got in the cIerk's office?
- Your friend.|- My friend?
Judge MaIIoy.
So what's your probIem?
My probIem is I wanted to win my first case|without any heIp from anybody.
WeII, I guess that pIan's moot.
Yeah.
This couId be a sign of things to come.
You win aII your cases,|but with somebody eIse's heIp, right?
You win case after case,|and then afterwards,...
..you have to go up to somebody|and you have to say ''Thank you.''
Oh, my God. What a fuckin' nightmare!
I won my first case.|You know what this means.
- Yeah. You think I'm gonna marry you.
You're not gonna marry me now?
You're not gonna marry me now?
No way. You can't win a case by|yourseIf. You're fuckin' useIess.
I thought we'd get married this weekend.
You don't get it, do you? That is not|romantic. I want a wedding in church...
..with bridesmaids and fIowers.
(Vinny) Ohh! How many times did you|say that spontaneous is romantic?
(Lisa) Hey, a burp is spontaneous.|A burp is not romantic.
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