Saturday 24 September 2022

O My Brothers and Only Friends


Alright, I know How Things are Now. 
I've suffered and I've suffered and I've suffered
And everybody wants me to go on suffering.

Rubenstein
The newspapers mentioned that, in addition to your being conditioned against acts of Sex and Violence, you've inadvertently been conditioned against Music.

Alexander The Great
Well, I think that was something that 
They didn't plan for. You see, 
missus, I'm very fond of Music
Especially Beethoven...Ludwig 
Van...Beethoven...B...E...

Rubenstein
It's all right, thank you.

Alexander The Great
And it just so happened that while They were 
showing me a particularly bad film 
of, like, a concentration camp
the background music 
was playing Beethoven.

Rubenstein
So now you have the same reaction to music as you do to sex and violence?

Alexander The Great
No, missus. You see, 
it's not all music, 
it's just The Ninth.

Rubenstein:  
You mean, Beethoven's 
Ninth Symphony?

Alexander The Great
That's right. I can't listen to 
The Ninth anymore at all
When I hear The Ninth, I get like 
this funny feeling and then... 
ALL I can think about 
is like trying to snuff it.

Rubenstein
I beg your pardon?

Alexander The Great
Snuff it, sir...um...Death, I mean, misses. 
I just want to die peacefully
like, with no pain.

Dolin
Do you feel that way now?

Alexander The Great
Oh no, sir, not exactly
I still feel very miserable
very much down in spirits.

Rubenstein
Do you still feel suicidal?

Alexander The Great
Well, put it this way :
I feel very low in me self. 
I can't see much in The Future, 
and I feel that any second 
Something Terrible 
is going to Happen to Me
•THUNK•


Dolin
Well done, Frank. 
Julian, get the car, 
would you please?

Alexander The Great
I woke up...The Pain and Sickness 
all over me like an animal
Then I realised What it WAS
The Music coming up from the floor 
was our old friend, Ludwig Van, 
and The dreaded 
Ninth symphony.

Let me out!! Open the door! Come on! Open the door! Turn it off!!! Turn it off!!! Turn it off!!! Turn it off!!! Turn it off!!! Stop it.! Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!!! Please!!! Turn it off!!!


Suddenly, I viddied 
What I Had to Do, 
and what I Had Wanted to Do
and that was to Do Myself In
to snuff it, to blast off forever out 
of this wicked cruel world. 

One moment of pain perhaps 
and then sleep forever and ever

I jumped, O My Brothers, 
and I fell HARD
but I did not snuff it. 

If I had snuffed it
I would not be here to tell 
what I have told

I came Back to Life, 
after a long black, black gap 
of what might have been 
a million years.

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