The Art of Small Talk

Tom : Tryst, Thank You very much for Your Story.
(Vigourous Handshake) Very interesting. We must
have a chat about This Machine of yours' sometime. 

TRYST: (Beaming with Pride, Delighted) Yes!

Tom : (Halfway Out The Door) And about The Notion
of your capturing alien species for Your own Private Zoo --

(The Fool's Professional Pride and Scientific Integrity are being called into Question -- 

Did He just Mock The Purity and Wisdom of His Intellect? Trash The Value of all of 

His Painstakingly Collected Research Data? Zoo? )

TRYST: ...... Zoo?

Tom : (Having Baited The Hook, and got A Bite,
he returns to The Middle of The Room, reeling him in) Yes. 

TRYST: No, Doctor, this is important Scientific Research.
I am Helping to conserve Endangered Species. 

Tom : (He acts like he is chatting for a Four-Year Old)
By putting them in this Machine?

TRYST: Oh, yes. (Grins)

Tom : Ah, yes, of course --
Just in the same way a
Jam-maker conserves raspberries. 

(The Doctor and Rigg leave.) 

M'Lady Romana :
Oh, Don't Mind Him.
He just Likes to irritate people.
 
(Romana picks up the copy of Tryst's log.) 

TRYST: Yes, well -- He has
A Right to Criticise. I suppose.

Still, I'm very pleased to have
someone of Intellect to Speak with again,
after such a long voyage cooped up with
all the same peoples. [ "ALL of My Colleagues
and Ship-mates are Cretins that're incapable
of appreciating My Genius for Galactic Philanthropy." ]

M'Lady Romana : How many were on Your Ship? 

TRYST: Ah, well, to begin with
There was ten, but We Lost one.
 
M'Lady Romana : How? 

TRYST: He Died. 

M'Lady Romana: 

How Did He Die? 

TRYST: (He shrugs, because
He Doesn't understand The Question) He Died.

[ "I shot him from Far Away,
when We Were alone together
Out in The Jungle, because I found out
He was an Undercover Narcotics Officer,
He had REALISED What The Natural Source
of Vraxoin actually WAS, and that I had been using
The Strawberry-Jam Crystal Holography Machine to
Traffick The Dessicated Remains of Endangered Species
by Keeping Them Alive in The Transporter-Buffer until
You return Home - Then You can just ELECTROCUTE them,
and They Turn into Deadly Narcotics, worth BILLIONS.

Why Smuggle-in illegal Opium-Products 

when You Can Import The Seeds?

It’s not as though Growing Poppies

is Illegal — and if Our Retreat across

3000 Miles of Prime American Farmland 

has Proven Nothing ELSE, it’s that

Midwestern Agriculture is in DIRE Need

of a Fresh, Wider and More Diverse range

of New Products for New Markets :

Expand or Die - That’s What 

Thomas Malthus said, and that

is what prompted The Opium War.

The First Opium War —

The Great Opium War.

What is The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation?

Well, The Foundation is, "I'm going to Poison My Wife
by putting Antibiotics into Her Food without TELLING Her,
so that The Sexually-Trasmitted Disease I just infected her
with will be Asymptomatic. So that she won't know I slept with 

all of those Russian Prostitutes and DIDN'T even 

Wear a Fucking SHEATH around it --"

Because then She will Divorce Me,
and that won't LOOK Good, because
it will hinder My Credibility in Going Out,
Promoting Mandatory Vacinations in
"Overpopulated" Developing Nations.

Because I want to Do Something
to Save Lives and Protect The Human Race
from Preventable Infectious Diseases.

Plus, She won't Sleep 

with Me anymore.

For a while. Probably.

1789 :

“I Did NOT Fuck Your Chambermaid.

And even if I Had Done, which I DIDN’T

It

I used to ridicule

We are LITERALLY Back to 1898, with
Bram Stoker, Winston Churchill's Legal Father,
Both of Lovecraft's Parents and virtually
everybody that Adolf Hitler met whilst Poor
and Living in The Capital City
of The Austro-Hungarian Empire
During The PEAK Years of Sigmund Freud's
Professional Private Practice in Vienna :

Siggy : Our Work will Be ATTACKED.
Which is why We can't Tell People The Truth,
by Being Honest with People about
WHY They're Sick, Why They've ALWAYS
Been Sick, and Why There is absolutely NO CURE
For Their Condition, and Why They have to Pay Us
500 Shillings per Hour EVERY Week, for The REST
of Their LIVES to Listen to them Narcissitically Waffle-on,
endlessly about ALL of The Self-Created Neuroses
WE Gave Them By not Being HONEST
in The FIRST Place : Our Work will Be ATTACKED.

Because We're Jews.
Living under Roman Catholic
Imperial Control.

Carl, The House-Servant from The Exorcist :
-- I'm Swiss. And also, A Christian.
With an Extremely Rich and Respectabele Wife
who Loves Me very Much indeed. And No Kids.

.....Do You not Think Maybe
it might have more to Do with
Your EXCLUSIVE Preocupation
with Personal SEXUAL Shame
and Hang-ups, RATHER Than
Universal DEATH Anxiety....?

Didn't You Go and Tell Your Daughter
to Go and Have Her CL*TORIS Amputated
to Prevent Her from Going Mad if She ever
Married and Enjoyed any of The Sex, so that
She would ALWAYS Be There to Look after You,
and Your Legacy in Perverted Jehovah's Witness-Style
Patriarchy Father-Worship, where it goes God, Man,
Woman, Animals, Plants, Rocks & Stuff, and DIDN'T
She Go and DO it.....?

1891 :
Sherlock Holmes' Cocaine-Habit
Has Escalated from Using to being A Problem.