Tuesday 11 October 2022

I Have My Limits





WOLF HOWLS


Van Helsing :

Mother Superior, on no account

invite that creature in.


SNARLING


Mother Superior :

That is not a temptation

with which I was struggling.


What is happening? 

What is this?


Van Helsing :

We are under attack from 

The Forces of Darkness.


Mother Superior :

Why would The Forces of Darkness

wish to attack a convent?


Van Helsing :

Perhaps They are sensitive to Criticism.


LOW SNARL


SNARLS


Van Helsing :

I know Who You Are.

I've studied the legends. 

I am fully aware that 

I am addressing

Count Dracula.


The bats are a little noisy.

Would you mind?


HOWLS

SCREECHING FADES


SNARLS


Van Helsing :

The Sun is Down.

You don't need to hide any more.

Or are you too afraid

to step from The Shadows?


BARKS


SNARLS


GURGLING


GASPS



BONES CRUNCH


WHIMPERS


Mother Superior :

This is Devilry.


Van Helsing :

It's worse than that —

It is The Devil.


GRUNTS


MOTHER SUPERIOR GASPS


Dracula :

I don't know about you girls...

...but I do love a bit of fur.


GASPS


Suffer unto me.


LAUGHS


BELL RINGS OUT

I'm not sure what legends you've been reading, but bells don't have any effect on me.


Van Helsing :

This one will.


Dracula :

Ooh!


Mother Superior :

Sister Agatha, have you been up

to one of your secret projects

again?


Van Helsing :

You'd better hope so.


Dracula :

This is exciting.

This'll be the most nuns I've had

in one sitting.


Van Helsing :

Sisters, Present Arms —


DRACULA

Ooh! I see my arrival was anticipated.


Van Helsing :

I was aware of the possibility.


Mother Superior :

Sister Agatha, what have you

brought down upon us?


Cooee!


MOTHER SUPERIOR GASPS


Hello!

Hello, ladies.

I don't want to worry you,

but the army of the faithful

can't seem to look me in the eye.


Van Helsing :

You're naked, and they're nuns.

It isn't your eye they're not

looking at.


Well, isn't anyone going to invite

me in?

I've come a long way to see you.


Van Helsing :

Certainly not.

Sister Rosa, The Key!


MOTHER SUPERIOR:

You can't be serious.


Van Helsing :

I'm more than serious.

I'm completely confident.


Dracula :

How did you know that I was coming?


Van Helsing :

There's a man here you consider 

to be Your Property.


Dracula :

My Bride.


Van Helsing :

He's what drew you here, I think — 


Dracula :

A Bee can always find nectar.


Van Helsing :

And A Trap always needs honey.


Dracula :

I don't think this is 

much of A Trap.


Van Helsing :

Well, it wouldn't be a very 

good Trap if you DID.


Thank you, Sister.


BREATHES RASPINGLY


Count Dracula,

Please attend my words with Care.


CHAINS CLANG


This is St Mary's Convent of Budapest,

and you are not welcome here.

You are most specifically not invited in.


SNARLS AND HISSES


SNARLS


SNARLS


Van Helsing : 

Oh! So it's True, then.


That's interesting.


MOTHER SUPERIOR

What is?


Van Helsing :

'A Vampire may not enter any abode

unless invited in.'

I wasn't sure about that one.


MOTHER SUPERIOR :

A vampire?

You unlocked The Gate

and you weren't sure?

A vampire?!


Van Helsing :

Oh, The Iron wasn't keeping you out.

You could have torn it apart like

matchwood.


Dracula :

I could tear you apart.


Van Helsing :

Not from out there, you couldn't.


But what's stopping you?

A-a feeling?

A force?


Is it physical or mental?

Why do you need an invitation?


Dracula :

Do you expect me to tell you?


Van Helsing :

Oh, I don't even expect you to know.

A Beast can follow rules --

I don't expect it to understand them.


NUNS GASP


Dracula :

I am more than a beast.


Van Helsing :

In what way?

By your own account, you've been

on this Earth for hundreds of years,

and you can't even walk into nunnery?

An ox could do it.

How are you more than A Beast?


Dracula :

Do you want me to show you?


Van Helsing :

Of course.

I'm waiting.


Dracula :

WHISPERS: 

Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here a moment.

Come closer.


Look at them.

Look at your sisters.


Van Helsing :

Armed and ready.


Dracula :

You're not looking.


Van Helsing :

I don't need to.


Dracula :

One of Them - that's all I need.

If just one of your pretty little

army beckons me in...

..I will tear Your World to pieces

and I will drink my fill.


Van Helsing :

Why would they invite you in?

What do you have to offer?


Dracula :

Eternal Life.


Van Helsing :

Well, they have that already. Thanks.


Dracula :

Starting Tonight, because the first one 

to invite me in stays at my side.

The others I will tear apart,

and, ladies... I will take my time.


One should never rush a nun.


Van Helsing :

Your words are not welcome here.


Dracula :

Well, if you find you're not tempted

by my offer, ask yourself this :

Who is?


Who's weakest?

Who's the most afraid?

Who will break first?


And is there still time 

for it to be you?


Van Helsing :

LAUGHS


Dracula :

What's that?

What are you doing?


Van Helsing :

You wanted to know who's weakest?

I'm showing you.


(she slices open her own palm, letting The Blood drip..)


SNARLS


ROARS


Van Helsing :

Oh, go on, help yourself!

There's a dog comes past here most days.

We often give it scraps.


SNARLS


Van Helsing :

Go on. You've come so far.

I'm sure you could do with a drink.


SNARLS


Van Helsing :

Hmm. You see,

I'm not certain I see the appeal.


SNARLS


SNARLS


Van Helsing :

Each to his own, I suppose.


Dracula :

Do you think...

...provoking me is clever?


Van Helsing :

Yes. I doI want to learn about you.

\

I want to see the limit

of your capability.


That's the point of this experiment.

You have no conception.


Not the first idea.


Hmm...

Here, boy!


This is contemptible.


You are without shame.

Be careful...


..what you say to me.


Don't speak with your mouth full.


She's earned the right to express

her contempt, you know. We all have.


Each of these women in front of you

has turned her back on earthly

pleasures.


Resisting all forms of temptation,


we have freed ourselves of appetite

and therefore of fear.


That is why you can't bear

the sight of this.


It speaks of a holy virtue

you do not possess.


It is goodness incarnate.


LAUGHS SOFTLY


For a moment there,

I thought you were clever.


But no.


No, that's not why I fear the cross.


Goodness has got nothing to do with

it.


So you say, but how can a mere beast

understand its own fear?


No-one will invite you in,

Count Dracula.


They'll just pity you right where

you are.


Who are you?


Finish your scraps. That's all

you'll be getting tonight.


Agatha...


..that's the name, isn't it?


Mother Superior used my name. You

heard her. You'll have to do better

than that.


You're from somewhere else, I think.

Um...


Holland, right?


Well, you can tell as much from my

accent, I think. I bid you

goodnight.


Helsing!


Van Helsing!


What is your interest in me,

Agatha Van Helsing?


Who are you?


Your every nightmare at once.


An educated woman in a crucifix.


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