Crazy, Am I...?

 

The Lord of Chaos : 

Hey Sparkles, here's The Deal : 

you want to get back to 

ass-place, ass-berg...

Thor : 

ASGARD!

The Lord of Chaos :

Any contender who defeats my champion, 

their freedom they shall win.

Thor: 

Fine. Then point me in the direction of whoever's ass I have to kick!

[Grandmaster is announcing the Hulk into the Sakaaran Arena]

The Lord of Chaos :

...The Champion! The Defending! 

I give you, your Incredible...

[Hulk enters the arena, roars]

Loki: [to himself] 

I have to get off this planet --

The Lord of Chaos :

[Runs into Loki as he is trying to run away] 

Whoa, whoa, where are you going? Sit down.

Hulk: 

HULK! HULK! HULK!

Thor: [to the Grandmaster] 

Hey! Hey! We know each other, 

he's a friend from work!

Thor: [to Hulk] 

Where have you been? Everyone 

thought you were dead! 

There's so much that's happened since I last saw you! 

I lost my hammer, like yesterday so that's still pretty fresh. 

Loki, Lok - Loki's alive, can you 

believe it? He's up there!

[Hulk glances at Loki]

Thor: 

Hey, Loki! Look who it is!

[Loki is horrorstruck]

[The Hulk appears in the arena]

Loki: [horrorstruck] I have to get off this planet!

Thor: [to Valkyrie] 

You know, I used to want to be a Valkyrie when I was younger,

 until I found out you were all women. 

There's nothing wrong with women, of course, I like women.

 Sometimes a little too much. Not in a creepy way, 

just more like a respectful appreciation. 

I think it's great, an elite force 

of women warriors.

Hulk: Thor sad.

Thor: Shut up.

Hulk: [shoves him] Thor sad.

Thor: I'm not sad, idiot. I'm pissed off!

[Hulk groans]

Thor: Angrier! I lost my father!

[kicks the stuff]

Thor: I lost my hammer!

[Hulk scoffs and turns away]

Hulk: Whining and crying, cry like baby!

Thor: You're not even listening!

[kicks the weapons at Hulk]

Hulk: DON'T KICK STUFF!

[picks up the stuff and throws at him]

Thor: You're being a really bad friend!

Hulk: YOU bad friend!

Thor: You know what we call you?

Hulk: No!

Thor: We call you a stupid Avenger.

Hulk: YOU TINY AVENGER!

[throws the axe shield at him]

Thor: 

What are you, crazy?

Hulk: 

YES!

Thor: 

You know what? 

Earth DOES Hate You.

Hulk: 

Hulk always... 

always angry.

Thor: 

I know. We're the same, you and I. 

Just a couple of hot-headed fools.

Hulk: 

Yeah, same. 

Hulk like fire, 

Thor like water.

Thor: 

Well, we're kind of both like fire.

Hulk: 

But Hulk like real fire. 

Like... raging fire. 

Thor like smouldering fire.

Thor: 

Hela, the goddess of Death, 

has invaded Asgard! 

And you and I had a fight.

Bruce Banner: 

Did I win?

Thor: 

No, I won! Easily!

Bruce Banner: 

That doesn't sound right...

Thor: 

Well, it's true!