LISTER:
Holly, why Rimmer's hologram?
Why did you have to bring Rimmer's
hologram back?
He was the most unpopular man on board this ship.
I mean, he even had to organise his own surprise birthday parties.
HOLLY: (Voice only)
And who should I have brought back, then?
LISTER:
Anyone. Chen. Petersen.
I mean, Hermann Gerring would have been more of a laugh than Rimmer.
I mean, OK, he was a drug-crazed
transvestite, but at least we could have gone dancing!
HOLLY:
(On monitor screen)
I brought Rimmer back because he's the best person to keep you sane.
LISTER:
Oh, crap!
A panel on the wall swings around to reveal a toilet. A sign over the
toilet reads,
"NOW IRRADIATE YOUR HANDS."
LISTER:
Not you!
TOILET:
I do apologise,
I wasn't paying attention.
See you later.
LISTER:
What about Kristine Kochanski?
You could have brought Kristine
back.
HOLLY:
In your entire life,
your shared conversations with her totalled 173 words.
LISTER:
So?
HOLLY:
In terms of wordage, you actually had a better relationship with
your rubber plant.
LISTER:
I know, but Rimmer?!
HOLLY:
He's the person you knew best.
Over 14 million words in all.
LISTER:
Holly, 7 million of those were
me telling him to smeg off,
and the other 7 million were
him putting me on report for telling him to smeg off.
HOLLY:
Jean Paul Sartre said hell was being locked forever in a room with your friends.
LISTER:
Holly, all his mates were French.
He leaves the room
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