Molly In Bloom

She's The One

Who like all our pretty songs

And she likes to sing along

And she likes to shoot her gun

But she don't know what it means

Don't know what it means

And I say ‘Yeah...’

Molly Bloom :

Dad? 

You all right? 

Sorry about that. Sorry. 

Professor Bloom :

How's it going? 

Molly Bloom :

What are you doing in New York? How'd you know I was at the skating rink? 

Professor Bloom :

I'm a Doctor of The Mind. 

Molly Bloom :

Oh, Dad. 

Professor Bloom :

I'm here in New York because that's where you are. 

I called your mom at the hotel and she said you were here. 

Listen, it's not a big deal, but from what I saw out there, I think you're having a small breakdown. 

That's weird. 

Molly Bloom :

I can't think of why. 

Professor Bloom :

Probably because of the arrest and not knowing what's going to happen next. 

Molly Bloom :

Old Man, do you really not recognize sarcasm? 

Professor Bloom :

Do you? 

Here, drink this. 

Molly Bloom :

I'm an alcoholic, I can't drink but thanks for remembering.

Professor Bloom :

It's hot chocolate. 

Okay. 

Professor Bloom :

And for diagnostic purposes, 

Do you think that we're on a cocktail lounge right now? 

You seeing waiters with trays of champagne? 

I want to check your pulse. 

Molly Bloom :

Have you found a pulse? 

Professor Bloom :

Yeah, just admiring my watch. 

Molly Bloom :

I can see you're getting warmed up but I really don't have the emotional bandwidth to defend my "as usual irresponsible behavior." 

Professor Bloom :

I know, I got your e-mail. 

I get that I'm not welcome in your life right now as Your Father though you should know 

I could give a shit if I'm welcome or not.

But I'm not here in my capacity as Your Father. 

I'm indifferent to whether Your Father lives or dies. 

I'm a very expensive therapist and I'm here to give you one free session. 

Molly Bloom :

You think what I need right now is a therapist? 

Professor Bloom :

Yeah. 

Molly Bloom :

I have to be back at my lawyer's office soon. 

Professor Bloom :

Do you like your lawyer? 

Molly Bloom :

I wasn't asking for money when I called you, Dad. 

I just needed My Dad. 

God forbid you part with a nickel. 

Professor Bloom :

Yeah, Tiny Tim, you grew up on a lake and you've skied all over the world, were those work houses tough? 

Molly Bloom :

I gotta go. 

Professor Bloom :

Molly.

Molly Bloom :

I gotta go. 

Professor Bloom :

Molly, sit the fuck down! 

All right, we're gonna do three years of therapy in three minutes. 

Molly Bloom :

How? 

Professor Bloom :

I'm gonna do what patients have been begging therapists to do for a hundred years, 

I'm just gonna give you The Answers. 

Molly Bloom :

To what? 

Professor Bloom :

Well, let's start with this -

Why does a young woman who, at 22, has a gold-plated resume, why does she run poker games? 

Molly Bloom :

Why did I choose to make a ton of money? 

That's a head scratcher. 

Professor Bloom :

You were gonna be a success at anything you wanted, you know it. 

If you'd gone to law school you'd have you'd have owned the law firm right now. 

Professor Bloom :

Why did you do... 

The Other Thing instead? 

Molly Bloom :

I don't know. 

Drugs. 

Professor Bloom :

You didn't start with the drugs until the end. 

They weren't The Problem, 

they were The Medicine. 

It was so you could control Powerful Men. 

Your addiction was having power over Powerful Men. 

Molly Bloom :

Is that what you really think? 

Professor Bloom :

No. I know it for sure. 

You've now completed your first year of therapy. 

Molly Bloom :

I saw an opportunity, 

it wasn't about you. 

Professor Bloom :

Nah, it wasn't just about me. 

Molly Bloom :

It wasn't at all about you.

Professor Bloom :

It was. 

Second year, second question. 

Molly Bloom :

Do you think you were a good husband? 

Professor Bloom :

What do you care? 

Molly Bloom :

I care, because you were married to my mother. 

I care because My Father's an asshole. 

Professor Bloom :

Congratulations, you've completed Year Two. 

And for The Record : —

Your Father raised three kids on a college professor's salary.

 

One of them is a two-time Olympian, a sixth round draft pick of the Philadelphia Eagles and a leading philanthropist.

 

The other is a cardiothorasic surgeon at Mass General 

and 

The Third managed to build a multi-million dollar business using not much more than her wits. 

Molly Bloom :

I'm about to plead Guilty in federal court. 

Professor Bloom :

Well, Nobody's Perfect.

 

The Point is I did a few things right.

 

Last Question. 

Molly Bloom :

No, I have to go. 

Professor Bloom :

Last question, Mol. 

I'll answer it but you have to ask it. 

You have... to ask it. 

Molly Bloom :

Why didn't you like me as much as my brothers? 

Professor Bloom :

There it is. 

I did. It only from time to time appeared that I didn't. 

Molly Bloom :

It only appeared that you didn't? 

Professor Bloom :

Yeah. 

Molly Bloom :

That is some Schedule 1 bullshit. 

Why would--

it only appeared-- 

Why would-- 

Okay, I had an attitude problem. 

I talked back. 

I broke some normal adolescent rules. 

I snuck phone time after curfew, 

I took your car when I wasn't allowed to-- 

And drove it into a McDonald's. 

And kids get punished for that, but they don't-- 

Professor Bloom :

Did I not say the McDonald's? 

I mean, did you misunderstand what drive-thru meant? 

Molly Bloom :

You turned into a different person, your voice, your face. 

Professor Bloom :

It's because I knew you knew. 

Molly Bloom :

I didn't hear what you said. 

Professor Bloom :

I said I knew you knew. 

Molly Bloom :

You knew I knew what? 

Professor Bloom :

What do you uh, think about the following concepts? 

Just gonna run 'em by you. 

‘Marriage.’ 

Molly Bloom :

It is a trap. 

Professor Bloom :

That I was cheating on Mom. 

I knew you knew. 

‘Society’ 

Molly Bloom :

It is a joke. 

Molly Bloom :

No, I didn't know unt-- until I was 20. 

Professor Bloom :

‘People.’ 

Molly Bloom :

I don't trust people. 

Professor Bloom :

No, you'd known since you were five. 

You saw me in my car and you really didn't know what you saw. 

Molly Bloom :

I don't have any heroes. 

Professor Bloom :

You knew, honey. 

And I knew you knew, and that's...

 

That's how I reacted to the shame. 

And you reacted by showing seething contempt for me, by driving my car into a McDonald's 

Molly Bloom :

And wanting to have power over Powerful Men? 

Professor Bloom :

No. That was a red herring just to make you mad. 

Molly Bloom :

You're such an-- 

Professor Bloom :

You tripped over a stick. Okay? 

Twelve years ago you tripped over a stick. 

It was a one-in-a-million thing. 

You tripped over a stick.

 

That's what you did wrong. 

There's your session. 

It's funny how much faster you can go when you're not charging by the hour.

I'm Your Father. 

Trying to comprehend how much I love you would be like trying to visualize the size of the universe. 

I didn't know you got beaten up until I read it in your book. 

It was a hell of a way to learn about it.

You should know that I'm hiring someone to find the guy who did it then I'm hiring someone to kill him. 

Molly Bloom :

Don't even joke about that. 

Professor Bloom :

I'm not. 

Molly Bloom :

It wasn't a purse snatcher, Dad, it was the mafia. 

Professor Bloom :

I don't care if it's the leader of Hamas.

Someone put their hands on you. 

They're gonna suffer. 

Molly Bloom :

Dad, I'm fine. 

Professor Bloom :

No, they're gonna suffer. 

Molly Bloom :

Dad, I'm all right. 

Professor Bloom :

No. They're gonna suf-- 

Molly Bloom :

Really, I'm fine.