The Constitution of Christmas

Me, the Scapegoated Adult Child of Narcissistic Codependent Parentage, in Order to form a more perfect Christmas, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for self-defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Yuletide to our selves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish these Ground Rules for a Family Christmas

• There will be absolutely no touching of The Amulet;

• Accept The Help. Especially when you did not ask for it.

• I am your firstborn eldest son, and you love me - I am not "a guest in this house", I am not your home-help (unless you want to pay me) or Meals-on-Wheels, I am not your personal assistant and I am not your servant - you are not doing me a favour by allowing me to be present and participate

• Say 'Please' AND 'Thank You' - GIVE GRATEFUL NOTICE

• There will be no Sectioning, discussion or threat of Sectioning - if you try to Section me, you will have crossed a line and so-help-me, I will Section you for threatening to Section me. So don't even try.

• Nobody is going to be calling the Police, on anyone, for anything. Only a pussy or a girly-man would do that - Men Take Care of Business.

• Barbarous and belittling insults will be me with mockery and ridicule.

• I am adult. I will go to bed when I want to and fall asleep if I am tired. I may not be.

• No Quiz Shows, no Jeremy Kyle.

• No Secrets and No sneaking off at short notice for clandestine liasons no-body else is allowed to know about.

• If you want sing, then sing - squawking out the opening line of the runner-up entry in the 1957 Eurovision Song Contest to attempt to prove that you were alive then and can still remember words.

• Watch your tongue Sir, watch your tongue ! - bad language (directed at me, or those Under My Protection) will not be tolerated

• Respect my personal space - I speak softly and carry a combat staff, any and all attempts to tip me out of chairs, push me, intimidate me get up in my face and scream at me will be evaded and redirected harmlessly away - I will not allow you to attack me.

• You Will Not Make My Mother Cry.

• Displays of Narcissistic Rage will be met by an invocation of KALI-MA!!!  Black and Wrathful Goddess of Widows, Orphans, Wronged-Women and Untouchables - We are Her Chilidren. And She will EAT you....