Leave The Girl. It’s The Man I want.

Bernice ran into Mel in the corridor and saw that she had been crying. She stepped in front of her and spoke before Mel could.

‘Look, I’m sorry I was funny with you. It’s just that you get so used to the Doctor’s ways — it’s hard to remember how strange they once seemed.’

Mel shrugged. ‘So he’s talked you round to his way of thinking. You’re still guilty by association.’

‘It’s not that simple.’

‘Oh, it never is!’

‘No,’ said Benny firmly, ‘it’s not. He’s doing the right thing on Detrios, I can see that.”

“What about your Seven Planets?’

Benny nodded morosely. ‘I try not to think about it. And I gave him hell at the time, believe me. He’s made things easier since — and he does do good, he’s risked his life on countless occasions. I can’t doubt that he does what he thinks is right.”

“And you?’

‘I have to trust in him.’

Mel nodded. Bernice could see from her body language that she wasn’t completely consoled. But she did appreciate that Benny was human. She smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring way. 

‘Tell me one thing.’ 

Mel looked willing enough. 

‘As I said, the Doctor keeps risking his life. 

Since I’ve known him, he’s been shot through the heart, had his mind ripped open by mechanical insects . . . 

I thought his head had been lopped off once.’

‘Nasty,’ agreed Mel.

‘I’ve come to think of him as invulnerable. Yet you saw him die — one of him, at least. How did it happen?’

Mel pursed her lips. ‘I didn’t actually see it. I was unconscious at the time. But I think . . .’

‘Yes?’

‘Well, 

He fell over and banged his head on the TARDIS console.

Benny laughed until her sides ached.

“ Mel helped the Doctor to his feet.

She was sure he was different, certainly less heavy. Indeed, he seemed small in stature, his hair was lank, and his pallor greying.

‘You look like death,’ she said helpfully.

‘Thank you for those kind words of encouragement. I’ve just stopped the end of creation, and all you can do is tell me I don’t look so good.’

Mel laughed and they slowly, very slowly in fact, bearing in mind how tired and drawn the Doctor was, crawled out of the destroyed inverted cone, out of the chamber itself and into the Library.

‘Where now?’ Mel asked once they were in the corridor.

‘I need a bit of a sleep. Let’s get to the TARDIS and away from here.’

‘But Rummas?’

‘Can look after things here. The Lamprey is gone. I can feel it in my bones.’ He squeezed his arm and winced. ‘Painfully so, in fact.’

Mel looked around, then closed her eyes, trying to bring up in her mind a plan of the Library. Then she smiled, opened her eyes and pointed towards a corridor to the left. 

“TARDIS. 7 minutes that way.’

The Doctor let Mel take his weight. ‘7 minutes, eh? What would I do without you?’

‘What would the universe do without you?’ she countered.

‘Let’s hope... let’s hope we don’t find out..’

The TARDIS control room had never seemed so bright, so warm. So inviting.

Mel was all but dragging the Doctor inside as she looked around her. As if by magic, part of the far wall opened up and a long bed emerged – perhaps the TARDIS could tell its pilot was desperately ill, Mel decided.

The Doctor waved a hand almost irritably towards the bed and it was absorbed by the wall once again. ‘I’m fine, Mel.’ He glanced up to the ceiling as Mel closed the doors behind them.

‘No, really, I am.’ He then smiled at Mel. ‘We didn’t do too badly, did we?’

‘We?’ laughed Mel. ‘“We” did nothing. You, on the other hand, just saved the multiverse. Literally for once.’

‘For once? Mel, we save the multiverse once a week! Don’t we?”

“Not usually, no. You’re usually satisfied with a race, or a planet. A galaxy at the most.’ She could tell he was masking his pain behind his bonhomie, of course.

‘But seriously, Doctor, I think you need to rest. The Lamprey really took it out of you. Again, literally!’

The Doctor took a deep breath and stood proudly by his precious TARDIS console. ‘Nonsense, Mel, what harm could possibly befall one such as I?’

At which point he began coughing and spluttering. Mel ran to his side instantly, trying to pat him on the back. Being considerably shorter than he, this merely resulted in a few ineffectual thumps to a couple of middle vertebrae. He gently eased her hand back. ‘You know, I think some rest might be in order after all.’

‘Doctor’s orders?’ suggested Mel cheekily.

He nodded and smiled back at her.

And Mel’s heart went cold.

She’d been travelling with him long enough to be able to read the Doctor well by now. This avuncular man who she trusted with her life. A man whose moods and quirks she could pretty much predict these days. A Time Lord – so much power contained in such a frail body, despite its appearance of... well, pretty solidness anyway.

But who really knew what made Time Lords tick? Even these days, Mel was aware that she couldn’t entirely be sure of how well the Doctor might be.

‘Having witnessed that final struggle as the Lamprey was extinguished, she was forced to question whether the Doctor should have accepted that constant absorption of energy and light. Could his form really have just taken that punishment and then shrugged it off as easily as he made out?

‘Doctor, listen to me. Rummas warned you what it might take to stop it.’

The Doctor was leaning on the TARDIS console, gripping it tightly enough that his knuckles were white with the strain.

‘So what? Okay, I might not be able to regenerate twelve times. Eleven, ten maybe. Who cares?’

‘You should.’

‘Why? Look at the scanner Mel, look at that. All those stars and worlds and races and civilisations. They could all have gone the way of poor Professor Tungard if I’d not stopped it. As sacrifices go, I could afford it and I truly believe it was worth it.’

Mel was at his side. She placed a hand on his and drew it away quickly.

‘Doctor, you’re ice cold. I mean, absolutely frozen.

“Really? Can’t feel it myself.’ His gaze was still on the scanner.

‘Mel, can you press that blue switch please.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I asked nicely?’

Mel did as she was told and instantly the TARDIS roared into life, the central column rising and falling as they left Carsus for what she hoped would be the last time.

A few seconds later, it stopped and the scanner just showed space again. Mel frowned but the Doctor smiled, albeit weakly.

‘Hover mode. I just want to look one last time at the local cosmos.

“One... last... what d’you mean, one last time?’

The Doctor finally pried his hands away from the console, trying to work the fingers but to no avail. He stared straight at Mel and she suddenly realised she was facing not a man in his mid-forties as he normally appeared, but a tired, drained man, who just this once she could believe was 900-plus years. His blue eyes were grey, the crow’s feet more pronounced and his hair had a few grey roots and curls, especially at the temples.

‘We did good, Mel. I’m honoured to have had you at my side one last time.’

And he fell to the floor with a loud crump.

“Mel was at his side in a second, resting his head on her lap, massaging his temples.’C’mon Doctor, no time to be sleeping.’

She looked up at the scanner.

All those stars, still twinkling.

All the planets still revolving.

All the life that owed its continued existence to a man, a wonderful, brave man it had never known.

Might never know.

She realised she was crying and a tear dropped onto the Doctor’s face. His skin was very grey now. His eyes flickered open and he smiled tightly.

“Don’t cry Mel. It was my time. Well, maybe not, but it was my time to give. To donate. I’ve had a good innings you know, seen and done a lot. Can’t complain this time. Don’t feel cheated.’

Mel couldn’t understand what he was saying. He couldn’t be...

couldn’t be dying.

Had letting his chronon energy be absorbed to that degree really destroyed him. Finally?

‘No...’ she whispered. It’s not fair!’

‘Yes. Yes it is...’ she heard him say, but the words seemed to be in her head rather than coming from his closed mouth.

She suddenly found herself remembering their initial meeting in Brighton. An initial enmity that had given way to respect, admiration and finally a great enough affection that she had given it all up to join him aboard the TARDIS. To travel the universe.

The TARDIS lights seemed to have dimmed a fraction, as if it... as if she knew. Understood.

Mel wished she did.

Then the TARDIS lurched violently, once, twice, three times.

The Doctor was rocked out of her hands and he curled up, facing the bottom of the console.

‘Local... tractor beam...’ he said aloud this time, trying to raise his hand. Trying to reach up, grab the console and haul himself upright.

Mel watched for a second, convinced that he’d succeed. Of course he would, if they were under some sort of attack, the Doctor would leap into action and save the day again. He had to.

‘Doctor!’ she whispered as, instead, his arm drooped and he was still once more.

His skin was the colour of granite now and Mel was sure it was blurring slightly.

Had to be her own tears, distorting her vision.

The force of the tractor beams –another one rocked the TARDIS again – had sent her a couple of feet away from the Doctor and the floor seemed to be at a severe angle.

She tried to crawl towards him, but another blow, then another and Mel suddenly wondered if this was what it felt like to be a deep-sea diver, going down too rapidly. Getting the bends. She felt, somehow, that the TARDIS was indeed going down, being dragged through space, like a rollercoaster car in freefall.

And then it was all over. The TARDIS landed with an enormous juddering thump, but in her ears, in her mind, it seemed as if the noise was still going on and she knew then, that she had failed the Doctor.

He was dying in front of her eyes and her own brain was closing down, trying to block off the effects of the crash-landing, or whatever it was, by making her sleep.

She would fight unconsciousness. She’d been knocked out before, she knew that she could catch it, stop it...

She knew she could...

She knew...

No... no it wasn’t fair...

Wait!

The TARDIS door was opening. How? No one had operated the door controls. They must have been forced.

Mel could barely keep her eyes open, the darkness that wanted to consume her was winning, and she was losing the battle.

Let it go, she heard her inner voice say. Sleep.

With a final effort, Mel rolled onto her back, facing the doorway.

As unconsciousness took a hold, she was sure there were people there.

They moved towards her and as she finally succumbed to complete sensory deprivation, she heard a strident female voice barking out an order.

‘Leave The Girl. It’s The Man I want.'

Excerpt From Spiral Scratch, by Gary Russell