I better Do that.
What'd you want me
to Do with The Crates?
James :
Just leave them.
I'll throw The Linens
on them in the morning.
It's easier for them that way.
There you go.
Take it easy.
We're cool.
Okay, Jimmy.
Freddie :
We got one more delivery,
and then it's hit The Roadhouse.
James :
Who's playing?
[ Z.Z. Top ]
Freddie :
Don't know.
You want to see
if Renee will be there.
James :
Yeah, maybe.
Freddie :
But she's married.
James : I know.
How old are you, Freddie?
Freddy :
Going on 23.
James :
I remember Being 23.
-- It's My Birthday today.
Freddie :
Is that right?
Well, Happy Birthday, Jimmy.
This is a real occasion.
James :
-- So you really can't
take that thing off, huh?
Freddie :
Nah, I can't.
James :
I don't understand.
Freddie :
It's, uh,
Part of Me.
Doctor tried to
take it off once, and...
I started bleeding.
James :
Where'd you get it?
Freddie :
I'm, uh, not supposed to tell.
James :
It's my birthday, Freddie.
You gotta tell me.
Come on, I'm not
gonna tell anybody.
Freddie :
Eh, you ain't gonna believe me anyway.
So you may as well tell me.
Freddie, come on,
tell me the story.
Come on.
Freddie : Well...
I told the Doctor.
I, uh... I guess
I can tell you.
And seeing as
how it's your birthday.
I was still living at Home, see?
James :
Where was that?
Freddie : That would be
London Town, East End.
About six months ago,
after a night down at the pub with
me mates, I'm walking home alone.
I get this peculiar feeling
as I turn into this alley
I use as a shortcut.
It strikes me that
I'm wasting me life, Jimmy.
Hanging about,
hitting the pub every night, drinking,
when I should be helping people.
With this feeling in me
on this particular night,
I see in the alleyway
a high stack of boxes,
and I jumped,
you know, like, for fun.
I jumped onto this
high stack of boxes.
And all of a sudden,
I was sucked up into the vortex
of this massive tunnel in the air.
Next thing you know,
I'm floating in thin air,
way up somewhere,
like a void.
And this bloke's there.
The Fireman's what
he's called himself.
And he says to me,
"Go to the hardware store
near Your Flat.
And there you will find
a rack of green rubber
gardening gloves.
One package will
already be open, with
only a right-handed glove
inside.
Purchase that package
and place the glove
on your right hand.
Your right hand will then
possess the power
of an enormous pile driver."
Poof. And I'm back in me room,
waking up the next morning.
I got up, got out of bed.
Dragged a comb across me head.
And I went downstairs
and had a cup — No.
Just kidding about that part.
So I pop round the corner
to the hardware store,
find the rack of gloves.
And, sure enough,
there's the open package
with the one right hand.
Off I go to the counter,
lay down the package
for the clerk, and he says,
"I can't sell you that one.
You have to buy one
that hasn't been opened."
So I say, "That's aright.
I want this one."
He says, "I can't
sell you that one."
I says, "Listen, mate."
I want to buy just the one glove,
and I will pay you full price."
"No, it's already been opened.
I can't sell it to ya."
Now, where I come from,
we call a bloke like this
A "Jobsworth."
That is a person
who delights in acting
in an obstructive or otherwise
unhelpful manner, as in,
"I can't do that — It's
more than my job's worth."
So I says to Mr. Jobsworth,
"Listen, I'm buying this glove."
And I put me bees on the counter
and walk towards the door.
Well, Jobsworth leaps after me
like a possessed puma,
screaming that I can't have
the glove from the package
which has already been opened.
I bolt out the door, hit the cobbles,
hoping to leave Mr. Jobsworth
in the dust slipping the glove on
while I go.
Then he slows me down a mite.
And before you know it,
Jobsworth puts a tackle on me
worthy of a red card
and sends me skidding
on the field.
On instinct, to defend myself,
I popped Jobsworth one in
the loaf with me green glove.
I hear a crack, and...
by the way his head's tilting
and him trying to talk...
I fear I've snapped his Gregory.
And then,
in that moment,
I remember something else that
bloke up in the sky told me.
"Once you've got the glove on,
go to Twin Peaks, Washington,
United States of America.
And there,
You will find Your Destiny."
So here I am, Jimmy,
on your birthday.
Many happy returns.
James : Wow.
Thank you, Freddie.
That's a great story.
Freddie :
The pleasure's all mine, sir.
James :
Why you?
I mean, why do you think
The Fireman picked you?
Freddie :
Well, that's a
Good Question.
I asked him myself, I said,
"Why me?"
And he said,
"Why not you?"
And when I went to buy me ticket
to fly over here, they told me
I already had a ticket.
— Don't forget.
We're supposed
to check The Furnace.
James : Yeah.
You wait for The Delivery.
Don't forget to sign The Invoice.
I'm gonna go check The Furnaces.
