Thursday 8 April 2021

You Must Survive Count Dracula's Midlife Crisis


Van Helsing :
Keely behaved like 
a man demented, obsessed.

Utterly lost.
All but the last vestige 
of sanity had left him.

His words were prompted by some force, some...
...some nightmare outside himself.

It is A Shadow,
A Spectre that haunts us all.

Col. Matthews of Division-X :
Murray, why the hell didn't you get your people 
[ Special Branch ]
to raid Pelham House?
Should have called them the moment
you got out of the damned place.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
Well, as a matter of fact, I...

Van Helsing :
I'm sorry Colonel.
Inspector Murray was quite right.
By the time The Police
would have got there, 
they would have found nothing.

Col. Matthews of Division-X :
Nothing? What about that...
...Chinese woman?

What about all of those...
...unfortunate creatures in the cellar?

Van Helsing :
We are not dealing with ordinary criminals, Colonel Mathews.
Nor with enemy agents.
These people have powers beyond anything you can imagine.
It didn't help Professor Keeley.

Col. Matthews of Division-X :
Well, he's out of it now, anyway.
One down and three to go.

Van Helsing :
The Keeley Foundation...
...who started it?
Whose money's behind it?
Thank you.

Col. Matthews of Division-X :
Some tycoon called Denham.
D. D. Denham.
There's very little known about him
He lives in the heart of the Denham Building. 
No thank you.
He allows no press interviews,
no photographs...
A recluse.

Van Helsing :
Denham.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
Mean something?

Van Helsing :
A link, possibly a major one.
Yes, here we are :
The Denham Group of Companies.
Chemicals, oils, banks.
Board of Directors : 
Denham himself.
The Right Honorable John Porter.
Lord Carradine.
General Freebourne.
And Keeley.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
And Uncle Tom Cobley and all!

Col. Matthews of Division-X :
This man, Denham,
perhaps Hanson was right.

Van Helsing :
I think he was.
You've already seen
a manifestation of vampirism.

The cult lives, it breeds,
it spreads its vileness
like a contagion.

Like The Plague.
My Family has fought
this corruption for generations.

Each time it was destroyed,
so has it risen again, 
like The Phoenix,
but hellbent on revenge.

Only this time...
This time I believe it's not merely
a personal vendetta...
...but something infinitely more far reaching.

The plague bacillus, Pelham House, the 
mental destruction of intellectuals
such as Professor Keeley and the others
it is all an integral part
of a means to a definite end.

The real force,
The Shadow I spoke of is more sinister, more obscene
than any monstrosity you can think of.
Lord of Corruption, 
Master of the Undead...

Count Dracula.
Col. Matthews of Division-X :
Is there really such a creature?

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
You should have been in that bloody cellar, Colonel!

Col. Matthews of Division-X :
Incredible.
My Department is being closed down, orders of John Porter,
half my staff have been arrested, 
two have been killed, 
they've labelled us subversives, 
and the heavies are damned well looking for us, 
and all this because of a...
...a vampire?

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
Van Helsing, for God's sake!

Van Helsing :
Jessica, you should be resting.

Van Helsing :
Oh, I'm all right, Grandfather.
Thank you.

Van Helsing :
I destroyed Count Dracula once.
It was more than two years ago in Saint Bartolph's churchyard.

This creature can live again...
by reincarnation.

It requires a disciple --
Someone well versed in the ritual.

Col. Matthews of Division-X :
The Chinese woman, Chin Yang?

Van Helsing :
Possibly.
She would have to know the exact location of Dracula's grave.

I passed the site of Saint Bartolph's tonight —
The churchyard has long since vanished.
An office block has been built there, now.
That new building is about two years old.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
Well, if it's been there for two years...
That means This Thing has been around since then.

Van Helsing :
So it would seem.
And those women in the cellar, their names have probably been on the files of your Missing Persons Bureau for two years.

Anyway, that new office block belongs to the Denham Group of Companies.
Now, I don't know whether The Fifth Guest was D. D. Denham, 
but this I do know :
Vampires are spectral creatures.

Their image casts no reflection in a mirror.
Nor can the lens of a camera record their likeness.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
So there was someone there.

Van Helsing :
Or some thing.
Norman Hanson saw it but his camera couldn't record it.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
How the hell do you fight a vampire?
With cloves of garlic?

Van Helsing :
There are many ways.
The Symbols of Good are used
to combat The Forces of Evil.
The Crucifix, The Word of God
as written in The Holy Bible.
Clear running water,
symbolizing purity,
and it lives in mortal dread of Silver.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
Anything else?

Van Helsing :
The Hawthorn Tree, which provided Christ
with his Crown of Thorns,
The Light of Day...
And a wooden stake,
driven through the heart.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
What about the 23rd, the day that Keeley mentioned...

Van Helsing :
Yes indeed. The 23rd of this month.
That I fear is the worst of all.
It is The Sabbat for the Undead.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
What significance is that?

Van Helsing :
There are satanic circles which govern Our Fate,
and the fate of This Earth.
Perhaps even The Universe.

Now, throughout history...
there are certain times,
certain dates which are marked
by awesome catastrophes.

Each event is carefully plotted,
and a definite pattern emerges.

Every disaster This World
has ever suffered coincides with a point
wherein these circles meet...
...and cross.
In this century alone
they heralded the outbreak of...
two devastating world wars.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
And another disaster is imminent?

Van Helsing :
Could be.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
The 23rd.
That's the day after tomorrow.

Van Helsing :
This must happen tomorrow...
...at midnight.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
Why, it's even sooner.

Van Helsing :
At that hour The Devil holds
a Balance of Power.
He marshals his disciples.
The Living and The Dead.
In Satanic Covens it is the celebration
of supreme blasphemy.

The Sabbat of The Undead.
Inspector Murray of The Yard :
I've heard of the witches sabbat.

Van Helsing :
No, this date is much more important.
It's more profound.
Even more significant than the night of Walpurgis.
Now Keeley said the bacillus had to be
ready by the 23rd.
Why?

Van Helsing :
The date chosen by Dracula himself.
The 23rd day of this 11th month.
The emerging patterns.
The Night of The Soulless Ones.
And in the turmoil and fear that follows,
a group of... warped men emerge to take control.
A Politician, a Soldier,
an Industrialist, a Landowner.

Inspector Murray of The Yard :
But Dracula would eventually end up with 
A Totally Barren Earth!
With only disease and dead bodies to feed on...
surely even the vampire himself would perish.

Van Helsing :
Perhaps, deep in his subconscious,
that is what he really wants.
An end to it all.
He is a cursed immortal, existing on 
Violence, Fear and Dread.
Now suppose...
Now just suppose
he yearns for final peace.
What then?
He'd want to bring down
The Whole Universe with him!
The Ultimate Revenge!
Thousands dying of The Plague,
like The Shadow of Death itself,
one figure scything its way 
through the terror and anguish.

Count Dracula.
It is the Biblical prophecy
of Armageddon.







“The “Final Crisis,” as I saw it for a paper universe like DC’s, would be the terminal war between is and isn’t, between the story and the blank page. What would happen if the void of the page took issue with the quality of material imposed upon it and decided to fight back by spontaneously generating a living concept capable of devouring narrative itself? A nihilistic cosmic vampire whose only dream was to drain the multiverse dry of story material, then lie bloated beneath A Dead Sun, dying.

  I tried to show the DC universe breaking down into signature gestures, last-gasp strategies that were tried and tested but would this time fail, until finally even the characterizations would fade and The Plot become rambling, meaningless, disconnected. Although I lost my nerve a little, I must confess, and it never became disconnected enough.

  This, I was trying to say, is What Happens when you let Bad Stories EAT Good Ones. This is what it looked like when you allow the Anti-Life Equation to turn all Your Dreams to Nightmares.

  In The End, there was nothing left but Darkness and the first superhero, Superman, with a crude wishing machine, the deus ex machina itself, and a single wish powered by the last of His Own Life Force.

  He wished for A Happy Ending, of course.”

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