It's Good to Be The King

Ever have one of those nights that starts out like any other but ends up being the best night of your life? 

It was June the 22nd, 1990. Our final day of school. 

There was Oliver Chamberlin, Peter Page, Steven Prince, Andy Knightley, and me. 

They called me "The King". 

Because that's my name - Gary King. 

Ollie fancied himself as a bit of a player but really he was all mouth. We called him "O-Man" because he had a birth mark on his face that was shaped like a six. He loved it. 

Pete was the baby of the group. He wasn't the kind of kid we would usually hang out with, but he was good for a laugh. And he was absolutely minted. 

Steve was a pretty cool guy, we jammed together. Chased the girls. I think he saw us as rivals. Sweet really. 

And Andy. Andy was my wingman. The one guy I could rely on to back me up. He loved me, and I'm not being funny, but I loved him too. 

There was nothing we were going to miss about school. Maybe Mr. Shepherd, he was one of the good guys. He used to ask me what I wanted to do with my life. 

I told him I just wanted to have a good time. 

He thought that was funny. It wasn't meant to be, not that night. 

Newton Haven was our home town, our playground. Our universe. 

And that night was the site of a heroic quest. Our aim? 

To conquer the Golden Mile - 12 pubs along the legendary path of alcoholic indulgence. 

There was the First Post, the Old Familiar, the Famous Cock, the Cross Hands, the Good Companions, the Trusty Servant, the Two Headed Dog, the Mermaid, the Beehive, the King's Head, the Hole In The Wall, all before reaching our destiny - 

The World's End

We took my car into town that night. We called her "The Beast" because she was pretty hairy. 

And so our journey into manhood began. 

We were off. 

We didn't waste any time, we hit pub one and we hit it hard. 

There was drinking, there was laughs, there was controversy, there were ladies, there were shots, there was drama, and of course there was drinking. 

By pub 5 we were feeling invincible, and decide to purchase some herbal refreshment from a man we called "The Reverend Green". 

Pint 6 put O-Man out of commission, so we carried on without him. 

Good thing, I bumped into his sister at the next pub and we went into the disableds, and then I bumped into her again. 

Sam tagged along for a while, but then I had to let her go, I had another date that night. And her name was Amber. 

Nine pints in and it was us against the world. 

Things got mental in the Beehive so we tailed it to the Bowls Club, or as we called it "The Smoke House", which is where it all went fuck-up. 

Everyone got para and Pete chucked so we had to bench him. 

In the end we blew off the last three pubs and headed for The Hills. 

As I sat up there, blood on my knuckles, beer down my shirt, sick on my shoes, knowing in my heart life would never feel this good again. 

[shows Gary in a group therapy setting] 

Gary King: 

And you know what? 

It never did. 

Group Leader: 

Interesting, Gary. Does anyone have any insight? 

Or maybe they want to challenge Gary? 

Pale Young Man: 

Were you disappointed..? 

Gary King: 

About what? 

Pale Young Man: 

You didn't make it to The World's End? 

[shows Gary with a smug grin on his face]