Well, Whaddya Know....

There's a Tropical Storm out to sea, and She's gathering speed...

Guinan is a Magickal Negro

Melchizedek, The Dark Messenger

Using Her Voudon Magicks, Counter-Curses and Warding Gestures, Guinan Successfully Backs-Off God/YAWH/The Evil Demiurge.

The Deity Formerly Known as Q.

Why Does This Bartender Dress Like a Nun and Talk Like a Priest?

She is a Priest Forever of the Order of Melchizedek.

Guinan: 

How much do you know about what happened to the last ship called Enterprise?

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

Enterprise C? It was lost at the battle of Narendra III, defending a Klingon outpost from the Romulans.

Guinan:

 And the survivors?

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

There were stories of prisoners taken back to Romulus, but these were only rumors.

Guinan: 

No. There were survivors. And Tasha Yar was one of them.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

Guinan - that was 23 years ago. Tasha Yar was only a child.

Guinan:

 I know that. But I also know she was aboard that ship. And she was not a child. And I think... you sent her there.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

How can that be?

Guinan: 

I don't know. I just know that you did.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

Tasha died - a year before you came on the Enterprise. You never met her.

Guinan: 

I know that.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

If you have only a vague intuition...

Guinan: 

You can't just dismiss this. If I'm right, then you are responsible for this whole situation.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

I think it's time that I met Commander Sela.

I'm the Wise Janitor. I impart knowledge and help overcome fears.

"Friendly black optimistic advice"

In order to show the world that minority characters are not bad people, one will step forward to help a "normal" person, with their pure heart and folksy wisdom. They are usually black and/or poor, but may come from another oppressed minority. They step (often clad in a clean, white suit) into the life of the much more privileged (and, in particular, almost always white) central character and, in some way, enrich that central character's life. If the Magical Negro (also known as Magic Negro or Mystical Negro) is from a society of Noble Savages, expect an Anvilicious Aesop about the failings of the protagonist's society — which usually leads to the protagonist "Going Native".

With such deep spiritual wisdom(and sometimes — though not always — actual supernatural powers), you might wonder why the Magical Negro doesn't step up and save the day himself. This will never happen. So enlightened and selfless is he that he has no desire to gain glory for himself; he only wants to help those who need guidance... which just happens to mean those who are traditionally viewed by Hollywood as better suited for protagonist roles, not, say, his own oppressed people. In fact, the Magical Negro really seems to have no goal in life other than helping white people achieve their fullest potential; he may even be ditched or killed outright once he's served that purpose. If he does express any selfish desires, it will only be in the context of helping the white protagonists realize their own racism and thereby become better people.

Bonus points if this character is a priest of Vodoun. If they are, it's generally a sign that you're watching a particularly bad horror film, such as the Final Destination series.

See also Whoopi Epiphany Speech, Black Best Friend, and Mammy. For a similar trope about women, see Manic Pixie Dream Girl (as well as Disposable Woman and The Bechdel Test); the Magical Girlfriend may play a similar role for her love interest, but is not necessarily an example of this. For the gay version see Magical Queer(who may also be black). The disabled version of this is Inspirationally Disadvantaged. When a non-minority character is portrayed this way, the character is usually a Sidekick Ex Machina. Similar in vein to the Magical Native American, though that trope tends to be more explicitly magical. Also similar to Magical Asian, when an Asian character, often with supernatural abilities, fulfills a mentor role to a white character. Another related trope is White Man's Burden, where the plot is about an ordinary white person who befriends an underprivileged minority character.

The term "Magical Negro" was popularized by Spike Lee during a lecture denouncing this trope.

Whoopi Epiphany Speech

"Now that black girl knows something you don't!"

Profoundly wise, life affirming short speech given by the poor, oppressed minority, uneducated, or mentally challenged character to the more-educated protagonist. Thus, perhaps, clearly distinguishing between the "Intelligence" and "Wisdom" attributes in Dungeons & Dragons.

Named after actress Whoopi Goldberg, whose character Celie in The Color Purple is an uneducated, viciously oppressed farmgirl who famously stands up for herself with such a speech. Her later character Guinan from Star Trek: The Next Generation, a wise, mysterious and Really 700 Years Old alienbartender, may have helped cement the trope name, though Guinan's life affirming speeches tend to be more erudite.

Subversions usually take the form of some person interrupting a fight with a comment on why they shouldn't be fighting. Instead of stopping as expected, the rioters just continue fighting.

Frequently utilized by the Magical Negro. See also Waif Prophet, Book Dumb, Simpleminded Wisdom, Wisdom from the Gutter. Note that just because the character is black, and is giving a speech, doesn't make it a Whoopi Epiphany Speech—if the character is powerful, intelligent, and respected, they don't fit this trope.

The Order of Melchizedek

Melchizedek, The Dark Messenger

That's me. That's who I am.

http://www.historyinthebible.com/episodes.html#Z3

The Order of Melchizedek:

We Care, So U Don't Have 2

And You're Welcome.

I was selected by the Sorting Hat when I had just turned 11 (a very significant age) - that's when I was chosen to take my vows and be inducted into training as a neophyte Priest Forever of the Order of Melchizdek.

I only just figured this out/remembered it/realised what it meant : but I have been able to reconstruct the event precisely and fully understand what it meant.

And I now know that my life began on 3rd January  1992 at approx. 7.30 pm, GMT.

On BBC2.

When I saw this :

STOP :

"Lord Business is the Enemy of Everything, Prince of Lies, Despoiler of the World and the Corrupter of All Human Goodness and Decency"

As a Small Businessman, are these really values you want to be instilling in your daughter's precious minds?

Because this will cause them to become confused.

: CONTINUE

Nothing is more allegorically representative of the Male-Dominant Age-Just-Gone, as of 2012, than bricks.

There is no female Masonry.

The Lego Movie is an instruction manual for how to cope, in the male mind, for a world without any instruction manuals.

Follow and Praise the Powerful the Empowered Black (Haired) Woman, because she can do anything, and have as your spiritual guide, Melchizedek, The Dark Messenger. 

Meaning "Batman".

The Superhero Formerly and Also Known as "Millionaire Playboy and Corporate CEO Bruce Wayne"

Who does show up and appear in the movie to negotiate with (conduct business) with Lord Business.

"YOU DON'T HAVE 2 B THE BAD GUY"

Why Does This Bartender Dress Like a Nun and Talk Like a Priest?

She is a Priest Forever of the Order of Melchizedek.

[Commander Sela has claimed to be Tasha Yar's daughter]

Guinan: 

How much do you know about what happened to the last ship called Enterprise?

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

Enterprise C? It was lost at the battle of Narendra III, defending a Klingon outpost from the Romulans.

Guinan:

 And the survivors?

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

There were stories of prisoners taken back to Romulus, but these were only rumors.

Guinan: 

No. There were survivors. And Tasha Yar was one of them.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

Guinan - that was 23 years ago. Tasha Yar was only a child.

Guinan:

 I know that. But I also know she was aboard that ship. And she was not a child. And I think... you sent her there.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

How can that be?

Guinan: 

I don't know. I just know that you did.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

Tasha died - a year before you came on the Enterprise. You never met her.

Guinan: 

I know that.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

If you have only a vague intuition...

Guinan: 

You can't just dismiss this. If I'm right, then you are responsible for this whole situation.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: 

I think it's time that I met Commander Sela.

I'm a  secular Jesuit - I realise that now.

And the leader of the Jesuit Order is The Black Pope.

That's why I live in a library, surrounded by books.

You notice how Giles and the other Watchers in Buffy always seemed to wear BROWN Tweed, or some variation?

That's Melchizedek, The Dark Messenger.

The Dark Messenger is a Brown Dwarf at one end of Orion's Belt, a close companion to Sirius (A and B ) the brightest (binary) star in all the heavens, which since antiquity has gone by the name Betelgeuse

(Betelgeuse)

(Betelgeuse)

And Ford Prefect is not, in fact, from Guildford, as he had told Arthur Dent, but in reality from....

"A small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse."

Which is why they cast Mos Def.

That's one hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is.

Women Rule the World Now

And the Power of Patty Compels You.

If you're not a Catholic, have no access to a qualified exorcist, and a close friend or family member has been inhabited and infested with evil spirits or many Devils, GET A POWERFUL BLACK WOMAN, and she will beat it out of them and get the job done, with no lasting serious side effects.

To me, that's what somehow on some level didn't sit well with people when they saw it.

White People don't like being reminded that they require the aid and  Church sanction of priestly specialist to mount a counterattack whilst under spiritual oppression and attacks from an external agency or entity.

Or, just take them down to a Mosque and force it to listen to the Koran and sing to them - that works too.

They really don't like it...

Hail Gozer.

Women Rule The World Now.

(They left out MARINE.... Marine Le Pen)

The Devil with the Blue Dress on...

Ain't it kinda funny when ya C The Dawn...?

Prince - P Control 

Nuestra presentacion especial comenzara en breve

(Our special presentation will start shortly)

Pero antes un mensaje de nuestros auspiciadores

(But first a message from our sponsors)

Uh, yeah
Uh

Good mornin', ladies and gentlemen
(What hotel number is she in?)
Boys and motherfuckin' girls
(319, 319, cool)

This is your Captain with No Name speakin'
And I'm here 2 rock your world
With a tale that will soon be classic
About a woman u already know
No, prostitute she, but the mayor of your brain
Pussy control
(Are u ready?)

Ah, pussy control, oh Ah, pussy control, oh

Our story begins in a schoolyard
A little girl skipping rope with her friends
A tisket, a tasket, no lunch in her basket
Just school books 4 the fight she would be in

One day over this hoodie
She got beat for some clothes and her rep
With her chin up, she scolded all y'alls molded
When I'm rich, on your neck I will step

And step she did to the straight as
Then college, the master degree
She hired the heifers that jumped her
And made everyone of them work for free?
Know, why?

So what if my sisters are triflin'?
They just don't know
She said Mama didn't tell 'em what she told me
Girl, u need pussy control
(Are u ready?)

Ah, pussy control, oh Ah, pussy control, oh

Pussy got bank in her pockets
Before she got dick in her drawers
If brother didn't have good and plenty of his own
In love pussy never did fall

And this fool named trick wanna stick her
Uh, talkin' more shit than a bit
'Bout how he gonna make pussy a star
If she come and sing a lick on his hit

Pussy said Nigga, u crazy if u don't know
Every woman in the world ain't a freak
U can go platinum 4 times
Still couldn't make what I make in a week

So push up on somebody wanna hear that
'Cuz this somebody here don't wanna know
Boy, u better act like u understand
When u roll with pussy control
(Are u ready?)

Ah, pussy control, oh Ah, pussy control, oh

Breakdown!
(Are u ready for the best pussy u ever felt?)
(Are u ready for the best pussy u ever felt?)

With one more verse to the story
I need another piece of your ear
I wanna hip u all to the reason
I'm known as the player of the year

'Cuz I met this girl named Pussy
At the club international ball
She was rollin 4 deep
3 sisters and a weepy-eyed white girl drivin' her haul

I pulled up right beside her
And my electric top went down
I said Motherfucker, I know your reputation
And I'm astounded that you're here

I fear you're lonely and u want to know
A 12'o clock straight up nigga
That don't give a shit that you're pussy control
Well I'm that nigga, at least I wanna be

But it's gonna be hard as hell
To keep my mind off a body
That would make every rich man
Want 2 sell, sell, sell
(75, we need another, 85, 85 here, sold)

Can I tell u what I'm thinkin' that u already know?
U need a motherfucker that respects your name
Now say it, pussy control
(Are u ready?)

Ah, pussy control, oh Ah, pussy control, oh

And the moral of this motherfucker is
Ladies, make 'em act like they know
You are, was and always will be pussy control
(Are u ready?)
Peace and be wild
(Ah, pussy control)

Say what, huh?
(Oh)
Oh, no, don't u think about callin' her a ho
(Are u ready?)

You juvenile delinquent
Best sit your ass down
Talkin' about pussy control
Huh, can u dig it?

Ah, pussy control
(Are u ready?)
Oh
(Are u ready?)

Ah, pussy control
(Are u ready?)
Oh
(Are u ready?)

The Nazarene Mafia

The Real O.G.s by the Sea of Galilee

T•C•B

Good Weather

... And Hells Followed With Her

Artemis. Monstrous/Terrible Aspect of Womanhood, to hear her distant roar of wronged and persecuted wife and Motherhood, 

Booming on the swirling winds and storm clouds thundering gather, crownèd heads tremble, flee or shudder,

Hell Hath No Fury, Of Woman Born

The Bitch is Back, babies - and she's one baaaaad fucker-Mother.