Tuesday 4 January 2022

Opening The Eye of Harmony






The New Doctor -- 
He's So Young. Hm.

Fascinating. See that? 
That's the retinal structure of The Human Eye! 

The Doctor is Half-Human! No Wonder....!




The Shining (1980) - Jack Enters into Room 237

" The opening sound is from the great funeral mass, Dies Irae, which is the day of judgment, which announces, "This is going to be a funeral. 

"This is going to be about 
A Judgment on The Human Race." 

It's about The Past


But I think I remembered that my impression from the opening scene in which that astonishing helicopter shot gives you a totally creepy feeling. You're looking at great, beautiful nature, but you know you're following something. You're, like, flying along on top of this little, tiny, insignificant car. 

It's the ultimate point of view shot without telling you who the point of view is

If you want to stop and think about it, you think, 'This is a helicopter shot

But for the general audience, all you know is that you are like a ghost. 

You are like an angel. 

You are like something that flies with supernatural abilities across the landscape of the planet. 

And the soundtrack had that skittering... I can't imitate it... but that skittering music that sounded to me... and I was conscious of this the first time I saw the movie... like the thousands of voices from The Past. 

"The Cloud of Witness," as the phrase is in... Dorothy Sayers uses it as the title for some story. The Cloud of Witness, all the ghosts from The Past; And I didn't know. 

Were these the voices of the many crowds of aliens or of ghosts or... 
I didn't know what. 

But already that skittering, high music with that follow shot across the lake and then across the car itself, it was the ultimate in spooky because you had the feeling this car is being followed and it doesn't know it, and we're following it. 

I mean, I could go on for a long time about the symbolism of that with regard to what The Shining really is

And The Shining, as we come to understand it, is seeing through all the layers of history and the horrors of history, even autobiographically in that scene where Grady and Jack talk in the blood-red men's room and Grady says, 

"Your Son has a very great talent. 
I don't think you realise 
how great it is. 
He's a very willful boy." 

And Jack says, 
"Yes, he is...
A very willful boy.”

“Did you know, 
Mr. Torrance, 
that Your Son 
is attempting to bring 
An Outside Party 
into this situation?” 

That's Kubrick

What he's trying to do is bring The Audience and Humanity into this situation. 

In this movie, he is trying to get through to us all... the human race in the movie theaters watching this... that we are doing these things but don't see it, that we are committing these horrendous things over and over again and then forgetting them... which is... of course, he represents many, many times in the movie... by having characters seem to know something and then not know it and forget it

You, uh, chopped your wife and daughter up into little bits. I don't have any recollection of that at all. 

That's like The Human Race. 

We commit atrocities and then forget it.





He's planning to 
TAKE My Body --
so that He will Live 
and I will Die
Oh, no! No!!

He has opened 
The Eye of Harmony.

The power source at 
The Heart of The TARDIS.

The TARDIS is My Ship, 
it carries me through Time and Space. 
T-A-R-D-I-S. 
It stands for 
Time and Relative 
Dimension In Space.


He wasn't Dead. It's A Trap. 
Don't you see? It's A Trap. 
He wants me to look into the Eye. 
If I look into The Eye of Harmony, My Soul will be Destroyed 
and He will take My Body!


If The Eye of Harmony isn't closed
This Planet will be sucked THROUGH it! 
Grace, I need to fix the timing mechanism 
on The TARDIS and close The Eye. 
I need an atomic clock. 
Grace, please, help me find one.


The Eye of Harmony is Open. 
If I don't close it, 
get My TARDIS
and The Master 
off This Planet, 
This PLANET 
will no longer EXIST!

Grace, we have until midnight.


I shall prove that 
The Eye of Harmony is open. 
Look at this —


You see? Already the molecular structure of The Planet is changing.

At first in subtle ways, but soon in catastrophic ways.

By midnight tonight, 
This Planet will be pulled inside out.
(It is now 9 P.M.)
There will be nothing left.

I Didn't Teach Him THAT Part...!!

The Elephant Man - 23rd Psalm Scene


"....I didn't teach him THAT part...!!"

Under-Standing



Well, This is 
How The World Works.
All Energy flows 
according
to the whims of 
The Great Magnet.
What a fool I was 
to defy Him.

I was going back to Vegas.
I had no choice.

I had to get rid of the Shark.

Too many people might recognize it,
especially the Vegas police.

Luckily, my credit card
was still technically valid.

Now this was a superior machine.

Ten grand worth of gimmicks
and high-priced special effects.

The rear windows leapt up with a touch
like frogs in a dynamite pond.

The dashboard was full of esoteric
lights and dials and meters …

that I would never understand.

If the pigs were gathering in Vegas …

I felt the drug culture
should be represented as well.

And there was a certain bent appeal
in the notion of running a savage burn …

on one Las Vegas hotel …

and then just wheeling across town
and checking into another.

Me and a thousand ranking cops
from all over America.

Why not move confidently
into their midst?

Welcome to the Flamingo Hotel, sir.

Sir?

Yeah, hi. Right. Okay.

Let me stay in your arms

I'm addicted to your charms

You're gettin' to be a habit with me

I used to think your love
was something that I

Could take

- Or leave alone
- My arrival was badly timed.

But now I couldn't do
without my supply

I need you for my own

This here model is one
that we had to use …

when we took on them little peckerheads
down there at Kent State.

This baby here -

I'm a police chief from Michigan.

Look, fella, I have explained to you.

I have this postcard which says that
I have a reservation in this hotel.

I'm very sorry, sir,
but you're on the late list.

- So your reservation has been
transferred to … - It's okay.

The … Moonlight Motel …

which is just out
on Paradise Boulevard.

We've already paid
for our goddamn room!

It's actually a very fine place of lodging,
and it's only 16 blocks from here.

It has a pool, sauna, steam.

You listen to me,
you filthy little faggot!

I want a manager
down here now! Now!

Because I'm sick of listening
to your dog shit!

I am … very sorry, sir.

- Get off of me! Get away from me!
- Can I call you a cab?

Sure, and I'll call you a cocksucker!

Of course, I could hear what
the clerk was really saying.

Listen, you fuzzy little shithead!
I've been fucked around in my time
by a fairly good cross section
of mean-tempered, rule-crazy cops
and now — it's My Turn.

So fuck you, Officer:
I'm in Charge.

Hey, listen, I really hate to interrupt
but I wonder if I could slide on through and get out of your way.

The Name is ‘Raoul Duke’. 
I think my attorney made the reservations.

Duke, Raoul.
Certainly, sir.

My bags - My bags are out there
in that white Cadillac convertible there.

Maybe somebody could
bring it to the room for me.

Oh, yeah, uh, let me get
a quart of Wild Turkey …
two-fifths of Bacardi …
some ice for the room, and let's see

You just calm down!

Shit, let's try some lime chunks.
What do you think?

I Say okay.
You don't worry about a thing.

Now, calm down.

You don't hesitate to call me - Sven.

All right, Sven.
Thank you very much.

- You - You -
- I know, I know, I know.

It's hideous. You're gonna
be fine, though. You're doing well.

I'll see you later.
Wait. Don't touch it.

Good night. Pardon me. 
Bye, Sven.

Look what you did!
Look what you did!

Goddamn you, we wouldn't stay
in this hotel if you begged us!

Magic Moments
When two hearts are caring

Magic moments
Memories we've been sharing

Home, sweet home.

What kind of sick shit -

Oh, shit!

Shit. What the fuck?

Stop, stop, stop.

She's biting my leg off!
You degenerate pig. Please!

Can't be helped.

My fucking leg!
That's "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds."

Lucy, be cool, goddamn it.
Remember what happened
at the airport, okay? Come on.

No more of that, okay?
That's my client, Lucy.
That's Mr. Duke, the famous journalist.
He's paying for this suite, Lucy.

Sunday 2 January 2022

Get Out, Before it's Too Late













ALIEN Nostromo destruct sequence

The Covenant of The Ark, and 
The Ark of The Covenant



“See, I keep meeting these people... 
I mean, just a few days ago... 

I met this man whom I greatly admire. He's a Swedish physicist. Gustav Bjornstrand. And he told me that he no longer watches Television... he doesn't read newspapers, and he doesn't read magazines. 


He's completely cut them out of his life... because he really DOES feel that we're living in some kind of Orwellian nightmare now... and that everything that you hear now contributes to turning you into A Robot

And when I was at Findhorn, i met this extraordinary English tree expert, who had devoted his life to saving trees. Just got back from Washington, lobbying to save the redwoods.

He's 84 years old, and he always travels with a backpack... 'cause he never knows where he's gonna be tomorrow. 

And when I met him at Findhorn, he said to me, "Where are you from?

I said, "New York.

He said, "Ah, New York. Yes, that's a very interesting place — Do you know a lot of New Yorkers who keep talking about the fact that they want to leave, but never do?" 

And I said, "Oh, yes." 

And he said, "Why do you think they don't leave?" 

I gave him different banal theories. 

He said,"Oh, I don't think it's that way at all." 

He said, "I think that New York is the new model for the new concentration camp, where The Camp has been built by The Inmates themselves and The Inmates are The Guards, and They have this Pride in This Thing They've Built. 

They've built their own prison.And so they exist in a state of schizophrenia where They are both guards and prisoners. 

And as a result, they no longer have, having been lobotomized the capacity to leave The Prison They've made or to even to See it as A Prison." 

And then he went into his pocket, and he took out A Seed for A Tree and he said, "This is A Pine Tree." 

He put it in my hand and he said,  "Escape, before it's too late." 

See, actually, for two or three years now, Chiquita and I have had this very unpleasant feeling that we really should get out. 

We really feel like Jews in Germany in the late '30s. Get out of here

Of course, the problem is where to go

'Cause it seems quite obvious that the whole world is going in the same direction. See, I think it's quite possible that the 1960s... represented the last burst of the human being before he was extinguished... and that this is the beginning of the rest of the future, now... and that from now on there'll simply be all these robots walking around... feeling nothing, thinking nothing. And there'll be nobody left almost to remind them... that there once was a species called a human being... with feelings and thoughts... and that history and memory are right now being erased... and soon nobody will really remember... that life existed on the planet. Now, of course, Bjornstrand feels that there's really almost no hope... and that we're probably going back to a very savage... lawless, terrifying period. 

Findhorn people see it a little differently. 

They're feeling that there'll be these pockets of light... springing up in different parts of the world... and that these will be, in a way, invisible planets on this planet... and that as we, or the world, grow colder... we can take invisible space journeys to these different planets... refuel for what it is we need to do on the planet itself... and come back. 

And it's their feeling that there have to be centers now... where people can come and reconstruct a new future for the world. And when I was talking to, Gustav Bjornstrand... he was saying that actually these centers are growing up everywhere now... and that what they're trying to do, which is what Findhorn was trying to do... and, in a way, what I was trying to do... I mean, these things can't be given names... but in a way, these are all attempts at creating a new kind of school... or a new kind of Monastery. 

And Bjornstrand talks about the concept of "reserves" islands of safety where history can be remembered... and the human being can continue to function... in order to maintain the species through A Dark Age. 

In other words, we're talking about an underground... which did exist in a different way during the Dark Ages... among the mystical orders of the church. And the purpose of this underground... is to find out how to preserve the light, life, the culture... how to keep things living, You see, I keep thinking that what we need... is a new language... a language of the heart... a language, as in the Polish forest, where language wasn't needed. Some kind of language between people that is a new kind of poetry... that's the poetry of the dancing bee that tells us where the honey is. And I think that in order to create that language... you're going to have to learn how you can go through a looking glass... into another kind of perception... where you have that sense of being united to all things... 

and suddenly you understand everything.



Opening Scene (Escape from New York - 1981)


1988
The Crime Rate in the United States Rises 
Four Hundred Percent. 

1991
Manhattan Island 

The once-great city of New York 
becomes the one maximum-security prison 
for the entire country.

A fifty-foot containment wall 
is erected along the New Jersey shoreline
across The Harlem River
and down along the Brooklyn shoreline

It completely surrounds 
Manhattan Island. 

All bridges and waterways are mined
The United States Police Force, 
like an army
is encamped around The Island. 

There are no guards inside The Prison : 
only Prisoners and The Worlds 
They have Made

The Rules are Simple : 
Once You Go In
You Don't Come Out


Lion Taming

monty pythons and now for ... Lion Tamer




As the sketch opens, 
Voices can be heard singing :
Vocational guidance counsellor ... 
vocational guidance counsellor ... 
vocational guidance counsellor ... 
etc. 

Office set
Man sitting at desk. 
Mr Anchovy is standing waiting. 
The Counsellor looks at his watch then starts The Sketch.

Counsellor :
Ah Mr Anchovy. 
Do sit down.

Anchovy
Thank you. Take the weight off the feet, eh?

Counsellor
Yes, yes.

Anchovy
Lovely weather for 
the time of year, I must say.

Counsellor
Enough of this gay banter — 
And now Mr Anchovy, you asked us to advise you which job in life you were best suited for.

Anchovy: 
That is correct, yes.

Counsellor: 
Well I now have the results here of the interviews and the aptitude tests that you took last week, and from them we've built up a pretty clear picture 
of the sort of person that you are
And I think I can say, 
without fear of contradiction, 
that the ideal job for you 
is Chartered Accountancy.

Anchovy
But I am a chartered accountant.

Counsellor: Jolly good. Well back to the office with you then.

Anchovy: No! No! No! You don't understand. I've been a chartered accountant for the last twenty years. I want a new job. 
Something exciting that will let me live.

Counsellor: 
Well chartered accountancy 
is rather exciting isn't it?

Anchovy: 
Exciting? No it's not. It's Dull. 
Dull. Dull. My God it's Dull, 
it's so desperately dull and tedious and stuffy and boring and des-per-ate-ly DULL.

Counsellor: Well, er, yes Mr Anchovy, but you see your report here says that you are an extremely dull person. You see, our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in chartered accountancy they are a positive boon.

Anchovy: But don't you see, I came here to find a new job, a new life, a new meaning to my existence. Can't you help me?

Counsellor: Well, do you have any idea of what you want to do?

Anchovy: Yes, yes I have.

Counsellor: What?

Anchovy: (boldly
Lion Taming.

Counsellor
Well yes. Yes. 
Of course, it's a bit of a jump isn't it? 
I mean, er, chartered accountancy 
to Lion Taming in one go. 
You don't think it might be better 
if you worked your way towards 
Lion Taming, say, via Banking?

Anchovy
No, no, no, no. 
No. I don't want to wait. 
At nine o'clock tomorrow I want to be in there, taming.

Counsellor: Fine, fine. But do you, do you have any qualifications?

Anchovy: Yes, I've got a hat.

Counsellor: A hat?

Anchovy: Yes, a hat. A lion taming hat. A hat with 'lion tamer' on it. I got it at Harrods. 
And it lights up saying 'lion tamer' in great big neon letters, so that you can tame them after dark when they're less stroppy.

Counsellor: 
I see, I see.

Anchovy: 
And you can switch it off during the day time, and claim reasonable wear and tear as allowable professional expenses under paragraph 335C...

Counsellor: 
Yes, yes, yes, I do follow, Mr Anchovy, but you see the snag is... if I now call Mr Chipperfield and say to him, 'look here, I've got a forty-five-year-old chartered accountant with me who wants to become a lion tamer', his first question is not going to be 'does he have his own hat?' He's going to ask what sort of experience you've had with lions.

Anchovy: Well I... I've seen them at the zoo.

Counsellor: Good, good, good.

Anchovy: Lively brown furry things with short stumpy legs and great long noses. I don't know what all the fuss is about, I could tame one of those. They look pretty tame to start with.

Counsellor: And these, er, these lions, how high are they?

Anchovy: (indicating a height of one foot) Well they're about so high, you know. They don't frighten me at all.

Counsellor: Really. And do these lions eat ants?

Anchovy: Yes, that's right.

Counsellor: Er, well, Mr Anchovy, I'm afraid what you've got hold of there is an anteater.

Anchovy: A what?

Counsellor: An anteater. Not a lion. You see a lion is a huge savage beast, about five feet high, ten feet long, weighing about four hundred pounds, running forty miles per hour, with masses of sharp pointed teeth and nasty long razor-sharp claws that can rip your belly open before you can say 'Eric Robinson', and they look like this.

(The counsellor produces large picture of a lion and shows to Mr Anchovy who screams and passes out.)

Counsellor: Time enough I think for a piece of wood.

(CAPTION: 'THE LARCH')

Voice Over: (Terry Jones) The larch.

(Cut back to office: Mr Anchovy sits up with a start.)

Counsellor: Now, shall I call Mr Chipperfield?

Anchovy: Er, no, no, no. I think your idea of making the transition to lion taming via easy stages, say via insurance...

Counsellor: Or banking.

Anchovy: Or banking, yes, yes, banking that's a man's life, isn't it? Banking, travel, excitement, adventure, thrills, decisions affecting people's lives.

Counsellor: Jolly good, well, er, shall I put you in touch with a bank?

Anchovy: Yes.

Counsellor: Fine.

Anchovy: No, no, no. Look, er, it's a big decision, I'd like a couple of weeks to think about it... er... you know, don't want to jump into it too quickly. Maybe three weeks. I could let you know definitely then, I just don't want to make this definite decision. I'm er... (continues muttering nervously to himself)

Counsellor: (turning to camera) Well this is just one of the all too many cases on our books of chartered accountancy. The only way that we can fight this terrible debilitating social disease, is by informing the general public of its consequences, by showing young people that it's just not worth it. So, so please... give generously... to this address:
The League for Fighting Chartered Accountancy,

55 Lincoln House, Basil Street,
London, SW3.

(Cut back to David Unction reading 'Physique' magazine. He puts it into brown paper bag.)

Unction: Oh, well that was fun wasn't it?

(Cut to helmeted Viking.)

Viking: No it wasn't, you fairy.

(Cut back to Unction.)

Unction: (sarcastically) Oh, hello sailor,

(Cut to Viking.)

Viking: Here, you wouldn't have got on one of our voyages - they were all dead butch.

(Cut to Unction.)

Unction: (camply) Oh that's not what I've heard.

Saturday 1 January 2022

The Caretaker











Omens: Seeing and Hearing a Ghost Tablets XIX and XXI of the compilation If a City have a good deal to say about ghosts, with extensive coverage of what might be expected by a person who actually sees, or hears, one. The omens explicitly distinguish very carefully between a ghost, an eṭemmu, and a dead man, mītu, the distinction being between a familiar ghost, that is, a family member or acquaintance, and a completely unfamiliar ghost from somewhere outside. It is clear, on reflection, that ghosts, even of grandparents or other close relatives, could not always be identified, and probably no one at all would remember further back than grandparents. Perhaps they relied on the human feeling that a visiting ghost was not inimical towards them but somehow part of the clan. Who actually are you? was a pressing question addressed to what was probably a family ghost, but possibly not: Spell. You, dead person who keeps appearing to me, whether father or mother, whether brother or sister, whether family or clan … CT 23 15–22 It is easy to imagine that deceased members of extended or extending families who had long inhabited the same place would not only feel close to their descendants but also tied to the rooms and passages where they had spent so much of their lives. What, then, do the omens predict for the family ghost-spotter? Familiar Ghost Omens • If a ghost in a man’s house makes an appearance: dispersal of the house • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly causes fear: dispersal of the house • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out [variant: constantly cries out at the gate]: dispersal of the house • If a ghost in a man’s house cries out and one who can hear hears it: overthrow of the house: the man will die and mourning [follow] • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly causes terror: end of days • If a ghost in a man’s house moans above the bed: relocation of bed and house • If a ghost in a man’s house moans below the bed: relocation of bed and house (from If a City, Tablet XIX) Each of these seven ghosts is already in the house, family ghosts who have come up from below and are intermittently or openly ‘residing’ in their former premises. Some have obviously already been seen more than once. In four cases the ghost makes sounds. Seeing a ghost is one thing, but to the Babylonian, hearing a ghost was always something else, for it seems that any sound they might come out with would be dangerous. The automatic fear generated by hearing a ghost, I imagine, interprets the sound as clamour by the dead for the living to come and join them. Only in the fourth of these omens is the death of the house-owner predicted, and that is when the ghostly cries are heard by ‘one who can hear’. This means an individual who can hear such things, as if the ghostly pitch could be like that of a dog whistle or a hard-to-discern bass rumble that most persons would not notice; it does not mean simply a person who is not deaf. • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out during the evening watch that man will not grow old • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out during the midnight watch: attaining a wish [variant: end of days] • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out during the daylight watch that man will experience a god’s mercy • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out at midday hardship will afflict the owner of the house • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out at midday brightness a mortally sick person will die in the man’s house • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out in the evening: for a high-born, end of days; for a poor man, he will experience reconciliation with the gods • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out in the morning, divine anger against the man will be dispelled • If a ghost in a man’s house rumbles: Hand-of-Lugalbanda; that house will experience hardship • If a ghost in a man’s house constantly cries out very much: Hand-of-the-Anunnaki; he will experience trouble (from If a City, Tablet XIX) To the specialist the time of the experience is thus highly diagnostic, and nine possibilities are covered. Interestingly, Mesopotamian ghosts are perfectly visible in a daylight hour sighting as well as in the – to us conventional – dead of night. The second omen in this section includes the contradictory options of attaining a wish or end of days. This does not mean that the diviners could not make up their minds, but reflects how the scholars who compiled the omen manual from the older tablets at their disposal included disparate textual traditions in a space-saving way. Your Babylonian would, if asked, either acknowledge that some people believe one thing and others another, or, if pressed, would suggest that a simple omen does not always predict a simple outcome, for diverse factors at a given moment could have their effect. Hand-of-Lugalbanda and Hand-of-the-Anunnaki are two terms from a Mesopotamian attributive system of medical diagnosis in which the ‘hand’ responsible for the patient’s condition can be that of a god, a demon or even a ghost. • If a ghost in a man’s house enters the ear of the owner of the house: dispersal of the house • If a ghost in a man’s house enters the ear of the mistress of the house mourning will fall on that man’s house • If a ghost in a man’s house enters the ear of a son of the house his father will die • If a ghost in a man’s house enters the ear of a daughter of the house her mother will die (from If a City, Tablet XIX) These four very focused omens deal with a family ghost’s entering a person’s ear, always something to be afeared of. Serious diseases and medical conditions were attributed to the worst kind of ghosts, who, bent on evil, entered the porches of the ear of a sleeping victim, giving rise to the diagnosis of Hand-of-a-Ghost. There were established procedures to combat this, of course. • If in a man’s house ghosts growl; Hand-of-the-Anunnaki gods; that house will experience evil • If in a man’s house ghosts weep; Hand-of-Shamash; that house will experience disease • If in a man’s house ghosts cry out; Hand-of-Shamash; that house will be dispersed (from If a City, Tablet XIX) These three omens speak of voluble ghosts, plural. Perhaps they all share the same grievance against the family. Shamash, the sun god, normally benevolent, is behind it all, too, overlapping with the ‘set on’ reference in the incantation above. Two other omens, in contrast, document ominous ghosts who enter the house from outside. It sounds as if they are unlikely to belong to the family. • If a ghost enters a man’s house the owner of the house will die • If a ghost enters a man’s house and constantly cries out, the mistress of the house will die (from If a City, Tablet XIX) Unfamiliar Ghost Omens The omen handbook also documents face-to-face encounters with a dead man, mītu. This dead man is seen in the house, but it is hardly possible that the word refers to a recently deceased but still unburied family member. The very deep-seated ancient Semitic compulsion to bury the dead as quickly as possible applied likewise among the Babylonians, so a corpse in anyone’s house would never be there for long. These dead men, as already mentioned, must be ghosts seen in the house whose identity is unknown or unrecognisable. • If a dead man in a man’s house like a living one is seen, that man will die: dispersal of the house • If a dead man in a man’s house like a living one is constantly seen … • If a dead man in a man’s house like a living one constantly causes fear: dispersal of the house • If a dead man in a man’s house like a living one constantly cries out towards the house at the gate: dispersal of the house (from If a City, Tablet XXI) The phrase ‘like a living one’ probably means the spectre must be clothed, and so, for a minute, could be thought to be a living – but unfamiliar – person. The succeeding omens, as well as dwelling morbidly on the consequences for the household, include close details of such a dead man’s clothing and even his ring: • If in a man’s house a son of the house sees a dead man, his brother will die • If in a man’s house a daughter of the house sees a dead man, his sister will die • If in a man’s house the owner of the house sees a dead man, his son will die • If in a man’s house the mistress of the house sees a dead man, the owner of the house will die • If in a man’s house the steward of the house sees a dead man, whatever he owns will be lost • If in a man’s house the housekeeper of the house sees a dead man, whatever he owns will be lost • If in a man’s house his brother sees a dead man, whatever he owns will be lost • If in a man’s house his grandfather sees a dead man, that man … • If in a man’s house the owner of the house sees a dead man adorned with a ring … • If in a man’s house the owner of the house sees a dead man wrapped in cloths: uprising, claims … • If in a man’s house the owner of the house sees a dead man and there is a smell: no attaining of … and, finally, the omen that seems to reflect fear of premature burial, as indicated in Chapter 3: • If a dead man in his grave comes back to life with people nearby, that city … (from If a City, Tablet XXI) How did these Ghost Omens Function? Most ghosts, probably, were of the local and family type, but what must have been especially frightening was the idea that a dangerous ghost might be unconnected with anyone at all in one’s personal world – a killer bent on random street murder – or a ghost fastened on his or her victim through mistaken identity. When the Mesopotamian ghost literature available to us is taken at face value as answering human need in stressful circumstances – rather than docketed as a byway corner of man’s curious history – the drawing-up of ghost lists and their behaviour had more than a technical use. Whether you are a such-and-such ghost worked most effectively if the listening ghost, smugly immune and anonymous in the rafters, suddenly hears his identity declaimed and realises he is under the searchlight. 

In practice the effective exorcist is likely to have questioned his patient along the lines of: Has anybody in your family gone missing? or, Did any of your aunts, or great aunts, die in childbirth? or, à la Scotland Yard, Can you think of anything else you can tell me that might be helpful? A gentle coaxing of that kind might bring out an unmade connection or a realisation of ‘who it must be’ that would be halfway to a cure

Undeniably, a sighting did not usually add up to good news. In fact, almost all of these cases, notwithstanding that the ghosts might be familiar, are reckoned to bode ill. 

The implications to the modern ghost investigator bred on later, fear-laden literature require clarification. Ghosts that have appeared over the last two hundred years or more to titillate in stories, books and films, clanking in chains, almost inevitably herald bad news or imminent personal disaster. It would be a grave misjudgement to take these faraway Mesopotamian scenarios as comparable in this way, implying an unswerving, backdated historical rule that ghosts mean bad news. 

The crucial point behind the Mesopotamian welter of ominous predictions is that they were compiled to enable and facilitate solution: they lead to avoidance, prevention or deflection of misfortune through ritual

There is no flirting here with spine-chilling, ineluctable Hollywood fate; this is a practical handbook to deal with a real and common problem among human beings. Underneath is the idea that ghosts who came back often wanted the living to return with them. 

You ignored ghost omens, in other words, at your peril! 

Ghost Omens in Use How did this authoritative ghost-visit and tomb-building omen assemblage come into being to account for a whole calendar year, and how were the omens really used? The mass of predictions cannot be arbitrary inventions, for how would they ever come to obtain the status of authority or dogma? Odd associations between, say, a frightening ghostly visit paired with a contemporary disaster – such as could occur in any family – would always survive in people’s memory. Documentation of such matters was meat and drink to diviners, who were always looking for associated phenomena where underlying cause and effect could be perceived, indicating that a repeat outcome was always possible. Ghost records, alongside the other very different omen compilations, would begin to accumulate and extend themselves. The fully finished system would not only encapsulate coincidences or strange events over the recallable history of the wider social community, but surely also be the result of protracted ‘door to door’ data collection, literally proactively interviewing old people with long memories, for the overarching plan was to establish some entry for each month and each day of the month. If we are instructed that a person who starts tomb-construction on the fifteenth of any month of the year will not only become ill with dropsy but, in the end, will not even get buried themselves, it is a fairly safe bet that no one ever did start such a construction. For that matter, if everyone who lived in a city on a hill was fated to find life chronically unpleasant, no one would live in such a city. We are compelled, accordingly, to interpret these one-line omens not so much as fixed cause-and-effect rulings, but as a set of warnings. If someone encountered a ghost under particular conditions there should always be an omen that clarified the potential corresponding danger that could be looked up and, all being well, averted. When a pater familias undertook to construct a hospitable tomb for his extended family, the possible consequences (in view of what had happened in the past) had to be considered in consultation with those who knew, and pious, preventative or protective steps taken, as the case may be. Avoiding bad omens and burying the dead with or without flattering ostentation did not, however, guarantee domestic tranquillity. Ghosts who needed or wanted to come back, came back, notwithstanding. Whenever an omen clearly predicted misfortune or evil, it was necessary to act. Customised cuneiform rituals called namburbû (‘its release’) provided the right procedure to dispel a particular predicted danger. Really serious threats enshrined in the omen tradition, once identified, could always be deflected in that way, but for some unexplained reason by no means every individual omen had a matching ritual waiting in the wings. Ritual instructions were usually carried out by an āšipu-exorcist, or his apprentice, acting for the affected person. Just How Unpleasant Can Ghosts Really Be? The ghostly visits itemised one by one in If a City omens are a useful index in our investigations, but as flat one-liners they hardly bring such episodes to life. It is easy, reading them through, to forget that each entry embodied real fear, apprehension, horror, nightmare, sweat – hot and cold – and panic in the breasts of their poor victims all that time ago. We are fortunate that one magical spell in the incantation series Evil Demons brings all this much more vividly to life, for it describes in ninety-nine lines of text exactly what it was like to be visited by an unknown, unidentified ghost of the roaming, malicious hooligan type. I translate the whole cuneiform thing unapologetically in full. It is a little black book of ghosts; they are all there. The unique ghost-hunter’s document. In lines 5 and 7 and 23–4 these ghosts spy on people; in lines 25–63, in contrast, they are right inside the house, right in the sick-room of someone already ill, with a range of torments and vindictive actions (including pulling faces and sticking out tongues!) designed to hasten the sufferer’s end; in the hope that they will give up their own ghost and follow their torturers to the Netherworld. Lines 85–99 complement our established roll-call of revenants who came to a sticky end with one or two new cases, and confirm the classic disturbed cases for whom there is no comforting family in the background. Certain lines within the spell could technically apply to any of a group of evil demons, but I think the whole of this wonderful passage is concerned with ghosts. There are several blocks of closely related lines, and the very structured content clearly derives from a different background tradition from texts that we have already looked at. The qualification ‘So-and-So’ indicates that this text was for recitation, where the name of The Sufferer (and that of His Father) would be inserted. 

This shows that a ghost is certainly The Problem and represents a detailed, persistent attempt to foil its every mean trick. 

The opening words, ‘I adjure’, are followed by some broken lines, but we can tell that The Exorcist is speaking this long but irresistible list out loud

Whether you are one who constantly clambers over mud walls … 5     who are the owl (?), the Watcher, who has evil at his disposal who … whose god … who are bennu, the Watcher of the night who constantly scratch like a wolf who constantly flash like lightning 10   who constantly flicker like a flame, who constantly … like fire who constantly shine like daylight who constantly shine like a star who are constantly obscure like a black spot 15   who overwhelm constantly like an alû-demon who constantly pick on victims like a lilû-demon who constantly enter houses who constantly pass over thresholds who constantly clamber over roofs 20   who constantly stroll about house foundations who are constantly present in holes who constantly seek a fine young man or fine young woman in the street who are the Watcher at noon who are the Watcher of what people say 25   who constantly stand at the head of a sick person who constantly sit before the head of a sick person who constantly walk before the head of a sick person who eat with him when he eats who drink with him when he drinks 30   who constantly frighten the sick person, So-and-So who constantly scare the sick person, So-and-So who constantly terrify the sick person. So-and-So who scare the sick person, So-and-So who constantly create obstacles before a sick person who constantly wrinkle the nose before a sick person 35   who bare the teeth before a sick person who constantly sit before a sick person who constantly grind your teeth before a sick person who constantly put out your tongues before a sick person who constantly open your mouths before a sick person 40   who constantly pretend to be lame before a sick person who butt like an ox before a sick person who display might like a wild ox before a sick person who are massive like a wild pig before a sick person who bark like a dog before a sick person 45   who constantly moan like a badger (?) before a sick person who roar like a lion before an invalid who constantly slither like a snake before a sick person who constantly slither like a viper before a sick person who constantly slither like an adder before a sick person 50   who constantly slither like a chameleon (?) before a sick person who constantly slither like worms before a sick person who constantly slither like a lizard before a sick person who are always dark like pulled-out hair before a sick person who are always a dark billy-goat before a sick person 55   who are always dark like a she-goat before a sick person who are always black like a kid before a sick person who are always dense like a lamb before a sick person who are always … like a fox before a sick person who always fly like a wasp before a sick person 60   who always mingle like a cord before a sick person (?) who cover yourselves like a naked man before a sick person who are ever black like bitumen before a sick person who are white like gypsum before a sick person who constantly walk in the street 65   who constantly sit in the streets who constantly recline in the squares who constantly pick on the city of an evening who constantly prowl in the city of an evening who constantly seek out the city of an evening 70   who constantly clamber over walls who constantly spread yourself in toilets who constantly squat in the foundations who constantly frequent houses who constantly leap over ditches 75   who constantly hide in crevices who are exposed in the river who are slaughtered in the river who are divided at the river who are constantly doused in the river 80   who prowl in the river when in flood who prowl in a river who constantly walk in forests who constantly sneak about in forests who tread paths 85   who have no guide in the steppe who have been killed in battle who have been smitten with a weapon who have been smitten with a might weapon who have been slaughtered with a dagger 
90   who have been killed with a mooring pole who have been threshed with spikes who have been impaled on poles who have perished during destruction who have neither father nor mother 
95   who have neither brother nor sister who have no family, kith or kin who have neither son nor daughter who have no heir to libate water who have been laid to rest among peers 

Evil Demons Tablet 11  Section 2 

Probably there were others, too … 




Responsibilities to The Dead 

The Mesopotamian dead, then, were entitled to due care and attention on an enduring basis.

Responsibility for discharging these obligations rested on The Oldest Son in The family, often resident in the family house, or some substitute if need be; in this context, the individual was known as The Caretaker

Tradition had it, as we will see, that the Netherworld regimen was not all that it might be, and one cannot help but see these family offerings as supplements, rather like home cooking delivered to people who are struggling to recover in a ward on hospital meals. 

That the ghosts had clear rights in this regard is explicit and there were three distinct obligations that had to be met: 

1. Funerary offerings, kispu

2. Water-pouring, naq mê
Ideally, this was cold water, and clean too. Delivery downwards was facilitated by a pipe

3. Pronouncing their name aloud, šuma zakāru
This was a good way to ensure that dead individuals were not forgotten, and is to be understood both literally and metaphorically

Most fathers unashamedly preferred sons, and medical texts concerned with the unfulfilled desire for a child refer to it by the same word, šumu, ‘a name’, clearly illustrating the awareness of family continuum, backwards into the past, forwards into the future (as we have seen in Chapter 3). 

Girls, I’m afraid, were never in the first rank for expectant Mesopotamian fathers. 

This recitation typically accompanied the kispu offering: 

You, the ghosts of my family, 
creators of all of us,
 of my father, my mother, 
my grandmother, my brother, 
my sister, of my family, 
kith and kin, who all sleep in the Netherworld, 
I have made the offering to you, 
I have treated you with respect, 
heaped praise on you, 
honoured you. 

Today do you stand before Shamash and Gilgamesh; 
Judge My Judgement, 
Help with My Decision! 

The link with deceased ancestors as family creators is very direct

It is clear that there was a certain quid-pro-quo element involved; in this spell, dead family members are supposed to intercede on the speaker’s behalf with Shamash the sun god, lauded administrator of justice Above and Below; acting, in this case, as sometimes occurs with Gilgamesh, as judicial denizen of the depths. 

The text goes on to request also the ghostly family’s protection against evil and troublesome forces as well. Such an inscription enlarges our understanding of the diaphanous milieu in which family ghosts operated, since, on the one hand, the dead were in some sense literally accessible beneath their feet, buried even on the premises; and, on the other, far below in the Big Underworld, interacting with or avoiding very powerful forces of which we today have knowledge from the literary Netherworld texts. 

Nobody who repeated the words of this recitation believed that Shamash or Gilgamesh actually lived in their family cellar, nor did they believe – had anyone held a gun to their head – that their water pipe went all the way down to the Netherworld. 

We encounter here an example of the very human capacity to combine parallel beliefs, complementary or contradictory as they may be, whose function is shared and whose reality is supported by ritual, without apparent difficulty. 

Passages in cuneiform leave us in no doubt that sliding into interrupted or erratic offering service was a fatal mistake vis-à-vis the equanimity of the dead, to the point that they would likely make an appearance in the house, where, not meeting with satisfaction, they would become clamorous and troublesome

Family ghosts of those buried below who decided to make an appearance were considered to ‘live’ on or within domestic premises for the duration, or at the very least have free access to it; but, like Victorian children, they were to be unseen and unheard

This view of things probably reflects multiple-generation family residence in one spot quite as much as burial within the house and the obligations it bestowed on the living. 

Family ghosts, when they did choose to make an appearance, did not always meet with fear or hostility if they were not too much of a nuisance: not infrequently they were regarded with sympathy

A sudden manifestation, of course, would make anybody jump, but it seems that, for a Babylonian, just seeing a family ghost at first was a little like finding a mouse in the kitchen – a bit of a fright, a sense of irritation and the knowledge that something would have to be done about it. 

Encounter with a ghost, however, always had its implications, often varying far beyond simple fright to extreme ominous danger and physical or psychological sickness

A Gentle Answer … 
Consider, finally, the following item of homely but revealing advice: 

If somebody in bed sees a dead person, he should say, 

I have mentioned your name with the ghosts, 
I have mentioned your name with the funerary offerings.’ 

With these words, the speaker shows us that he can distinguish for certain a ghost that is part of his family and one that is not

This dead person is a definite outsider. It exemplifies the transparent ‘ours or theirs’ view that underpins ghost texts. 

It also shows that a dissatisfied ghost from an uncaring household on the loose can try and adopt a new family, rather like cats do in London. The outside ghost is befriended and treated like the others 

Trouble is avoided all round.

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