That's Who I am

Bill is Here 

[captioned] 

(with reversal & promo) 

by iamaphoney

Bill is Here.

"NUMBER ONE 

(AKA WILLIAM RYKER) – 

A 30-35 year old Caucasian born in Alaska. 

He is a pleasant 

looking man 

with sex appeal, 

of medium height, 

very Agile and Strong, 

a natural Psychologist. 

Number One, as he is usually called, is 

Second in Command 

of The Enterprise 

and has a very strong, 

solid relationship 

with The Captain."

Other background details which were eventually added to Riker's preproduction character bio claimed Riker "doesn't fully appreciate The Female Need 

to be needed" 

and that he is 

"privately called 

William by Picard 

and Bill by 'female friends'" 

(Troi does refer to him as "Bill" in "The Naked Now" and "Haven", 

although this nickname 

was apparently dropped 

in favour of "Will". 

However, in the script for "Encounter at Farpoint", Picard refers to him as "Bill".)

Bill is Here!

Sooner or Later, 
The Bill Becomes Due.

Thomas is Here!

RIKER: 

Riker to Enterprise.

Do You Hear Me? 

DATA: 

Perfectly, Commander. 

I will be monitoring you continuously. 

TROI: 

Mintakan emotions 

are quite interesting. 

Like The Vulcans, 

They have highly ordered minds. 

A very sensible People. 

For example, Mintakan Women 

precede Their Mates --

It's A Signal 

to other women. 

RIKER: 

“This Man's Taken, 

Get Your Own”? 

TROI: 

Not precisely -- More like, 

“If You want His Services, 

I'm the one You have 

to negotiate with.”

RIKER : 

What kind of Services? 

TROI : 

All kinds. 

RIKER : 

….They ARE a Sensible Race (!)

You should also implicitly TRUST me, is that not so?

Doubt can be a bond as Powerful and Sustaining as Certainty. 

When you are Lost, 

You are Not Alone.

[Borg ship]

(The Borg ship drops out of warp. A fully Borgified Picard looks at the Enterprise approaching) 

RIKER 

[on viewscreen]: 

Locutus of Borg, this is Captain William T. Riker of the USS Enterprise.

PICARD: 

You may speak.

[Battle bridge]

RIKER: 

We wish to end the hostilities.

LOCUTUS 

[on viewscreen]:

 Then you must unconditionally surrender.

RIKER: 

We are prepared to meet to discuss your terms.

LOCUTUS  

[on viewscreen]: 

It is unlikely you are prepared to discuss terms. 

It is more likely that this is an attempt at deception.

RIKER: 

Come now, Locutus. 

If Picard's knowledge and experience is part of you, then you know 

I've never lied to him. 

You should also implicitly trust me, is that not so?

PICARD 

[on viewscreen]: 

Picard implicitly trusted you.

RIKER: 

Then trust me now. 

Meet to discuss terms.

LOCUTUS

[on viewscreen]: 

Discussion is irrelevant. 

There are no terms. 

You will disarm all your weapons and escort us to Sector zero zero one where we will begin assimilating your culture and technology.

(mute) 

RIKER: 

Mister Gleason, can you pinpoint the source of the Borg transmission?

GLEASON: 

I can put you within thirty meters of it, sir. 

RIKER: 

O'Brien, report.

[Transporter room]

O'BRIEN: 

The Borg have adapted their electromagnetic field to prevent main transporter functions, sir. 

RIKER [OC]: 

As expected. 

Mister Data, Mister Worf, proceed as we discussed. 

DATA: 

Aye, Captain. 

(They switch on devices on their arms)

[Battle bridge]

CREWMAN: 

Channel open, sir.

RIKER: 

We would like time to prepare our people for assimilation.

LOCUTUS ::

Preparation is irrelevant. 

Your people will be assimilated as easily as Picard has been. 

Your attempt at a delay will not be successful, Number One. 

We will proceed to Earth, and if you attempt to intervene, we will destroy you.

RIKER :

Then take your best shot, Locutus,

because we are about to intervene.

CREWMAN: 

Channel closed. 

What Would Riker Do?

The Beard is an 

Ancient and Proud Tradition.

RIKER :

You get some rest? 

PICARD :

Oh, I tried. I'm worried about My Pilot. 

That he didn't make it. 

RIKER :

What have you gotten yourself into, Jean-Luc? 

Can you tell me? 

PICARD :

No. I never wanted you to get involved in any of this, Will. 

Coming here was a desperate impulse. 

I regret it already. 

RIKER :

Copy that. 

I'll stick to making pizza. 

I'm just thinking how great it would be if Ignorance of Danger was all it took to keep it away from The People We Love. 

[ he smiles, as the tears begin to whell up inside of him ]

PICARD :

That's not what I was saying. 

RIKER :

[ He sniffs and shakes it off -- back to Business ]

Smell that. Antarean basil. 

Grows like weeds around here. 

Everything does. 

The Soil has regenerative powers, 

which, is why we came here, of course. 

[ He spots his daughter, exiting the house with her new friend in tow ]

Wild Girl of The Woods! 

KESTRA TROI-RIKER,

The Wild Girl of The Woods :

I'm taking her to see The Garden. 

RIKER :

Ah. Allamalan val peresta o manal. 

Dr. SOJII ASHA :

Vo peresta melinàs andlif. 

KESTRA TROI-RIKER,

The Wild Girl of The Woods :

She read Thad's Viveen dictionary. 

All of it, in, like, two minutes. 

RIKER :

Two minutes? That thing's 300 pages long. 

[ Gives the teenage newcomer his attention ]

Hmm. We haven't met, Soji.

[ Offers her his hand, covered in flour. ] 

I'm Kestra's Dad. Will. 

Dr. SOJII ASHA :

Hello, Will. 

RIKER :

Hi. 

PICARD : 

Commander Riker and I served together on the USS Enterprise. 

[ TWO of Them, actually. But who's counting? ]

KESTRA TROI-RIKER,

The Wild Girl of The Woods :

And you were The Greatest Captain ever, I heard. 

RIKER :

[ Not embarrassed, by this - ]

The Greatest Captain ever? 

Where'd you get that nonsense?

KESTRA TROI-RIKER,

The Wild Girl of The Woods :

From you.

RIKER :

From me? Well, I must have been drinking at the time. 

Could you tell your mom we could use some more tomatoes. 

[ Give Sojii his attention once more - bows in courtesy ]

Nice to meet you. 

PICARD :

Speaking of drinking, may I? 

RIKER :

Please. 

PICARD :

[ He pours and takes a glass of wine from the bottle on The Table. ] 

Thank you. 

RIKER :

So, I'm just gonna speculate 

and Say Out Loud what I've been Saying in My Brain. 

You don't have to tell me anything; 

How's that sound? 

[ This man is a Poker Player par excellence. ]

You're worried about cloaks. 

That says Romulans. 

And the level of anxiety and fear for our safety, tells me Tal Shiar. 

Next, you're not the one that's on the run, 

it's her. 

But Why? 

What has poor Soji done to incur their wrath? 

Could it have anything to do with the fact... 

That she's clearly an android? 

And not just any android. 

I'd recognize that head tilt anywhere. 

Kid's got Data in her DNA. 

And that's why you're here. 

How am I doing? 

PICARD :

Not bad, for a pizza chef. 

RIKER :

Now I understand why you wanted to keep it a secret. 

Classic Picard arrogance. 

You get to make the decisions 

about who gets to take the chances and who doesn't, 

and who's in The Loop, and who's Out of The Loop. 

And, naturally, 

it always ends up with you. 

Well... That's fine, 

on the bridge of your starship, Captain. 

But you're dealing with a teenager now, more or less. 

That can be an extremely humbling experience. 

Frankly... I'm not sure you're up to it. 

PICARD :

Perhaps I'm not. 

RIKER :

There you go. 

Baby steps. 

PICARD :

Baby steps.

The poker scene was added to the script when it was running short.

[Riker's quarters]

(the poker game is in full swing, and Beverly is dealing)

WORF: 

Commander, is it your intention to continue to grow your beard?

LAFORGE: 

Actually, I'm not sure yet. 

Why, Worf?

WORF: 

I am just asking.

CRUSHER: 

Seven card stud, one-eyed jacks are wild.

RIKER: 

Frankly, Geordi, I like the beard.

LAFORGE: 

Thank you, Commander.

CRUSHER: 

You know, I have always been a little suspicious of Men with Beards.

WORF: 

Why is that?

CRUSHER: 

I don't know. 

It's as if they're trying to hide something.

[ horrible and disfiguring scarring acquired during wars, dueling, hunting and fighting, usually. ]

RIKER: 

Hide? Don't be ridiculous, Doctor. 

The Beard is an Ancient and Proud Tradition.

LAFORGE: 

Some of the most distinguished Men in History have worn beards, Doctor.

CRUSHER: 

I know. But after the razor was invented I think beards became mostly a fashion statement.

WORF: 

I'm not concerned with Fashion. 

To a Klingon, 

A Beard is a Symbol of Courage.

RIKER: 

I think it's a Sign of Strength.

CRUSHER: 

Sure, and of course, 

Women can't grow beards.

LAFORGE: 

Doctor, it sounds to me like you feel beards are nothing more than an affectation.

CRUSHER: 

I do. But there's nothing wrong with that. 

I mean, women wear makeup and nail polish. 

I just think it's time you men admitted it.

RIKER: 

My beard is not an affectation.

CRUSHER: 

Oh? Well then you wouldn't mind shaving it off.

RIKER: 

I could lose it in a minute. 

I've just gotten used to it.

CRUSHER: 

Okay, then why don't we up the stakes a little? 

And if I win, all off you shave your beards off.

LAFORGE: 

Wait a minute, wait a minute. 

What if you lose? 

What are you going to give up?

CRUSHER: 

I'm open for suggestions.

RIKER: 

Well, I've always wanted to see you as a brunette.

CRUSHER: 

Oh, I did that once when I was thirteen. 

I couldn't change back fast enough.

RIKER : 

That makes me even more curious....!

CRUSHER : 

Fine. If one of you wins, 

I become a brunette. Are we on?

LAFORGE: 

Yeah, yeah, we'll take that bet.

CRUSHER : 

Looks like you have the hand to beat, Commander.

LAFORGE: 

Two hundred.

CRUSHER: 

I'm in two hundred.

RIKER:

Geordi.

PICARD : 

This is the Captain. 

We have arrived at the Tyran system. 

All senior staff to the Bridge.

CRUSHER: 

Wait!

RIKER: 

Sorry, you heard the Captain. 

Duty calls. I guess we'll have to do this some other time.

Jonathan Frakes commented, 

"It was a little heavy on technobabble, but all things considered I think that show came off quite well." 

However, he was disappointed that there was no callback to the poker scene at the end of the episode. 

"We should have seen the result of the bet the characters made. 

Either Gates [McFadden] should have been a brunette or we should have been sitting in the chair about to be shaved. 

I don't know why they would lay it out as a red herring and not have it pay off in some way – 

as if no one was watching the show."

The Manumission of Flt. Lt. Bobo

"The bright western sun disappeared as the sky quickly darkened, and a low rumbling sound was heard in the humid air. There was a swift rushing of many feathered wings, yet not of bird. A great chattering and laughing filled the atmosphere and when the hot sun came out again, the light showed the Wicked Witch of the West that she was surrounded by a large crowd of wild monkeys, each with a pair of immense and powerful wings on his shoulders."

―The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900) 

RIKER: 

Your file says that you're an...
 

DATA: 

Machine, Correct, sir. 

Does that trouble you?
 

RIKER: 

To be honest, yes, a little.
 

DATA: 

Understood, sir. 

Prejudice is very human.
 

RIKER: 

Now that does trouble me. 

Do you consider yourself superior to us?
 

DATA: 

I am superior, sir, in many ways, 

but I would gladly give it up to be human.
 

RIKER: 

Nice to meet you - Pinocchio. 

[ BLANK, PUZZLED LOOK ]

"I am not your puppet anymore." 

- Lt. Commander Data channels his Inner Rage, after recieving a bit of initial prompting, courtesy of his elder brother Lore, the galaxy's first and only Malignant Nacissitic synthetic person.











[Enterprise-E crew lounge]

(Picard is handing out glasses of Chateau Picard)

RIKER:

 The first time I saw Data, 

he was leaning against a tree in the holodeck 

...trying to whistle. 

...Funniest thing I ever saw. 

 

...No matter what he did he couldn't get the tune right.
 

 

What was that song? 

I can't remember the song.

The Two Species of HyperAdapter : The Cyborg and The Vampire

The Crucial Detail is CONSENT. 

Consent creates A Game, 

not  A Crime.

There are Two Kinds of Stories 

We Tell Our Children.

The First Kind : 

‘Once upon a time, there was a fuzzy little rabbit named Frizzy-Top who went on a quantum, fun adventure 

only to face a big setback, 

which he overcame through perseverance 

and by being adorable’

This kind of story teaches Empathy.

“Put yourself in Frizzy-Top's shoes”, 

in other words.

The Other Kind: 

“Oliver Anthony Bird, if you get too close to That Ocean, you'll be sucked into The Sea and drowned! 

This kind of story teaches them Fear.

And for the rest of their lives, these two stories compete :

Empathy and Fear.

And so I bring you tonight's play, 

A Work in Five Acts 

About a fuzzy little bunny,

Who got too close to The Ocean 

and 

What Happened Next.

Let us begin.

The Cyborg is a Person 

with Technology 

(of ANY kind, not just machinery), 

grafted onto his or her Being 

"I think one of the things that really separates us from the high primates is that we’re tool builders. I read a study that measured the efficiency of locomotion for various species on the planet. The condor used the least energy to move a kilometer. And, humans came in with a rather unimpressive showing, about a third of the way down the list. It was not too proud a showing for the crown of creation. So, that didn’t look so good. But, then somebody at Scientific American had the insight to test the efficiency of locomotion for a man on a bicycle. And, a man on a bicycle, a human on a bicycle, blew the condor away, completely off the top of the charts.

And that’s what a computer is to me. What a computer is to me is it’s the most remarkable tool that we’ve ever come up with, and it’s the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds.” ~ Steve Jobs

The Vampire is an ex-Person 

Who eats Other People 

and 

Takes Their Stuff.

Q: 

You can't outrun Them. 

You can't destroy Them. 

If you damage Them, 

The Essence of What They Are remains. 

They regenerate and keep coming. 

Eventually you will weaken, 

Your reserves will be gone. 

They are Relentless.

WORF: 

The Borg ship is firing. 

We have lost shields again.

[Engineering]

LAFORGE: 

Captain, we've just lost the warp engines.

[Bridge]

Q: 

Where's your stubbornness now, Picard, your arrogance? 

Do you still profess to be prepared for what awaits you? 

WORF: 

The Borg ship is re-establishing its tractor beam.

RIKER: 

Lock on photon torpedoes.

WORF: 

Yes, sir.

DATA: 

Without our shields, at this range there is a high degree of probability that a photon detonation could destroy the Enterprise.

RIKER: 

Prepare to fire.

(Q swaps places with Data) 

Q:

I'll be leaving now.

 

You thought you could handle it, so handle it.

PICARD: 

Q. End this.

Q:

Moi? What makes you think I am either 

inclined or capable to terminate this encounter?

PICARD: 

If we all die, here, now.... 

You will not be able to gloat! 

You wanted to frighten us. 

We're frightened. 

You wanted to show us that we were inadequate. 

For the moment, I grant that. 

You wanted me to say 

“I need you” 

I need you! 

(With a snap of Q's fingers, the Enterprise goes whirling through space again) 

RIKER: 

Position.

WESLEY: 

Zero seven zero, mark six three, sir. Back where we started.

(Q swaps places with Riker) 

Q: 

That was a Difficult Admission. 

Another man would have been humiliated to say those words. 

Another man would have rather died than ask for help. 

PICARD: 

I understand what you've done here, Q, but I think the lesson could have been learned without the loss of eighteen members of my crew.

Q: 

If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. 

It's not safe out here. 

It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross, but it's not for the timid.

(Q vanishes and everyone is back in his own seat) 

PICARD: 

Mister Crusher, set course for the nearest starbase.

WESLEY: 

Course laid in for Starbase Eighty Three, sir. 

PICARD: 

Engage.

[Ten forward]

(Guinan and Picard are playing a version of 3D chess) 

GUINAN: 

Q set a series of events into motion, bringing contact with the Borg much sooner than it should have come. 

Now, perhaps when you're ready, it might be possible to establish A Relationship with them --

But for now, for right now, 

you're just raw material to them. 

Since They are aware of your existence —

PICARD: 

-- ....They will be coming.

GUINAN: 

You can bet on it.

PICARD:

Maybe Q did The Right Thing for The Wrong Reason.

GUINAN: 

How so?

PICARD: 

Well, perhaps what we most needed was a kick in our complacency, to prepare us ready for what lies ahead.

HOUSE

K'MTAR: 

Q'apla, Worf. 

You are too much for them. 

WORF: 

I have seen you before. 

Who are you? 

K'MTAR: 

A friend. 

(he holds out his fist, displaying a ring)

WORF: 

Are you K'mtar. 

K'MTAR: 

Your brother sent me here to protect you.

WORF: 

He is gin'tak to the House of Mogh. 

RIKER: 

Gin'tak? 

WORF: 

An advisor so trusted that he is become part of a family. 

RIKER: 

Do you have any idea who was behind the attack? 

K'MTAR: 

It is a Klingon matter. 

It is not your concern. 

RIKER: 

One of my officers was almost killed. 

That makes it my concern. 

K'MTAR: 

Recently, rumours began to circulate on the homeworld that an assassination attempt was going to be made on the Family of Mogh.

“A Decree of The Senate empowered Brutus to propose to the people a measure exiling all the members of The House of Tarquin. 

A Conspiracy to Restore the Tarquins.

Though no one doubted that war with the Tarquins was imminent, it did not come as soon as was universally expected. What was not expected, however, was that through intrigue and treachery the new-won liberty was almost lost.

There were some young men of high birth in Rome who during the late reign had done pretty much what they pleased, and being born companions of the young Tarquins were accustomed to live in royal fashion. Now that all were equal before the law, they missed their former licence and complained that the liberty which others enjoyed had become slavery for them; as long as there was a king, there was a person from whom they could get what they wanted, whether lawful or not, there was room for personal influence and kindness, he could show severity or indulgence, could discriminate between his friends and his enemies. But the law was a thing, deaf and inexorable, more favourable to the weak than to the powerful, showing no indulgence or forgiveness to those who transgressed; human nature being what it was, it was a dangerous plan to trust solely to one's innocence. When they had worked themselves into a state of disaffection, envoys from the royal family arrived, bringing a demand for the restoration of their property without any allusion to their possible return. An audience was granted them by the senate, and the matter was discussed for some days; fears were expressed that the non-surrender would be taken as a pretext for war, while if surrendered it might provide the means of war. The envoys, meantime, were engaged on another task: whilst ostensibly seeking only the surrender of the property they were secretly hatching schemes for regaining the crown. Whilst canvassing the young nobility in favour of their apparent object, they sounded them as to their other proposals, and meeting with a favourable reception, they brought letters addressed to them by the Tarquins and discussed plans for admitting them secretly at night into the City.