WHY Did Set Kill Osiris?

“Crowley said that the general tenor of the last six thousand years of human civilization could be summed up by the personalities of a family of Egyptian Gods. 

So, the next Aeon from Christ onward is The Aeon of Osiris, The Dying and Resurrected God. 

Osiris is also The Law Giver and He brings with Him The Written Word, so now ideas can be enshrined in books and books can outlast generations and they take on the aura of Gods Themselves.


God Himself is present in the works of the Bible. God Himself is present in the Quran. So certainly, there’s this programming code language, the instructional Dad Language, which can take people over just from reading a book and turn them into Agents of The Dad God’s Expansionist, Controlling Agenda. This is when Nature goes from Provider to something that exists to be tamed and exploited. That’s The Aeon of Osiris.



Following Osiris, comes this fiery breakdown, the child Horus is the son of Osiris and he’s every jihadi, every warrior, every rock star reformer, every young man who sees as his sacred mission the tearing down of structures, the questioning of rules. It’s punk rock, “I gotta tear it all down.” 

But running in tandem with that, according to Kenneth Grant, is the shadow Aeon of Ma’at, Horus’ sister and she’s the goddess of truth and balance and harmony and all that Wonder Woman stuff.


WHY Did Set Kill Osiris?

Murder. ... Seth, the god of disorder, murdered his brother Osiris, the God of Order. Seth was furious because His Wife, Nepthys, had conceived a child, named Anubis, by Osiris. 

And THAT’S Why He Cuts His Dick Off — 

and fed it to a Crab.

The murder happened at a banquet when Seth invited guests to lie down in a coffin he had made for The King.

After Horus was thrown into exile, Gods who stood in Set's way were killed or presumably enslaved. Set confronted Nephthys who tried using her wings to fly away but Set grabbed on to Nephthys' wing and threw her to the ground. Set cut off her wings and PRESUMABLY killed her.

Nephthys was not only a Goddess of Death, Decay, and Darkness but also a Magician with great healing powers. Nephthys has a central role in the popular myths of Osiris; it is HER magical powers that helps to resurrect his body, as well as to protect and nurture Horus while he is a child.

Nephthys helped Isis bring Osiris back to life after he was killed by Seth, so she is often depicted in tombs and on coffins as a protector of the dead, specifically associated with the organs placed in canopic jars. Nephthys and Isis look very similar and can only be differentiated by their headdresses.

Never Hate Your Enemies -- Even You Father.

Mr. Corleone, all Bastards are Liars. 

Shakespeare wrote poems about it.

Michael, you know Vincent Mancini -- 

Sonny’s Boy.

 

 

PLUTARCH'S MORALS.

ON EDUCATION.

§ i. Come let us consider what one might say on the education of free children, and by what training they would become good citizens.

§ ii. It is perhaps best to begin with birth: I would therefore warn those who desire to be fathers of notable sons, not to form connections with any kind of women, such as courtesans or mistresses: for those who either on the father or mother's side are ill-born have the disgrace of their origin all their life long irretrievably present with them, and offer a ready handle to abuse and vituperation. So that the poet was wise, who said, "Unless the foundation of a house be well laid, the descendants must of necessity be unfortunate."  

Good birth indeed brings with it a store of assurance, which ought to be greatly valued by all who desire legitimate offspring. For the spirit of those who are a spurious and bastard breed is apt to be mean and abject: for as the poet truly says, "It makes a man even of noble spirit servile, when he is conscious of the ill fame of either his father or mother." 

On the other hand the sons of illustrious parents are full of Pride and arrogance. As an instance of this it is recorded of Diophantus, the son of Themistocles, that he often used to say to various people "that he could do what he pleased with the Athenian people, for what he wished his mother wished, and what she wished Themistocles wished, and what Themistocles wished all the Athenians wished." 

All praise also ought we to bestow on the Lacedæmonians for their loftiness of soul in fining their King Archidamus for venturing to marry a small woman, for they charged him with intending to furnish them not with Kings but Kinglets.

§ iii. Next must we mention, what was not overlooked even by those who handled this subject before us, that those who approach their wives for procreation must do so either without having drunk any wine or at least very little. For those children, that their parents begot in drink, are wont to be fond of wine and apt to turn out drunkards. And so Diogenes, seeing a youth out of his mind and crazy, said, "Young man, your father was drunk when he begot you." 

 Let this hint serve as to Procreation: now let us discuss Education.

 

 

  

 

 

 

CUT TO: A helicopter carrying Michael and Vincent. They are traveling to the meeting that Don Altobello had arranged at Michael's request.

VINCENT

I'd like to take Joey Zasa up for a ride in this and drop him.

MICHAEL

Joey Zasa is nothing. He's a small time enforcer – Mobs, threats, nothing. We'll be able to see him coming, a mile away.

VINCENT

We should kill him before he kills --

MICHAEL

No!

(then)

Never Hate Your Enemies. It affects your Judgment.

CUT TO: Outside an Atlantic City casino where the Commission meeting is to take place, as set up by Don Altobello on Michael’s request. The Text Over reads: Atlantic City, New Jersey.

<Michael and Vincent are welcomed ["Nice to see you again, Mr. Corleone. Mr. Mancini."].

CUT TO: Suite where Commission meeting is to be held.

<A band is playing and women are milling about the busy room full of Dons. Joey Zasa enters and Michael and Vincent enter shortly after. On Michael's arrival the band stops playing and the women are ushered from the room. Vincent nods at Joey Zasa. Once the room is cleared of all but those at the meeting, Don Altobello begins proceedings.>

DON ALTOBELLO (addressing Michael to the Commission)

We entrusted you to manage our money in the casinos. It's not even, twenty years. You sold the casinos, and you made fortunes for all of us. Bravo Don Corleone!

<The room applauds Michael. Joey Zasa gives a half-hearted clap.>

MICHAEL

Thank you. Friends, I have come here, because, our business together is done. We have prospered, and now it is time for us, to dissolve, the business relationship between us.

<There are murmurs of protest.>

MICHAEL

That's it. But I do have a little surprise

(then, to Neri)

Al?

<Al removes a bundle of envelopes from his jacket.>

MICHAEL

Your shares, in the casinos. I thought I'd cut through all the red tape so you can get your money right away.

<This news is met with a more positive response.>

A DON

Fifty million dollars!

<Vincent is passing out envelopes.>

MICHAEL

Not everyone gets the same…

VINCENT (whispering into Joey Zasa’s ear)

Nothing for you…

MICHAEL

…It depends how much you invested, and how long for.

<The Dons all marvel at how much they have just received, "Wonderful! Woah! Grazie!">

A DON

Michael, this is really generous!

A DON

Hey, Perisi, how much did you invest?

DON PERISI (putting his envelope in his jacket pocket)

I don’t remember…

DON ALTOBELLO

Michael, you're blessed.

<Joey Zasa has heard enough.>

ZASA

My family has done much of the hard work; taken many risks. All to make money, for the rest of the families.

MICHAEL

You all know Joey Zasa. He is, I admit, an important man. His picture is on the cover of the New York Times magazine. He gets the Esquire magazine award, for the best-dressed gangster! The newspapers praise him, because, he hires Blacks into his family, which shows he has a good heart. He, is famous. Who knows? Maybe one day, he will make all of you, popular.

ZASA

It's true. I make more of a, bella figura, that is my nature. But I also want to make a move into, legitimate enterprises. I'd like to get a little pin from the Pope. Sure, I take the Blacks and the Spanish into my family, because, that's America.

MICHAEL

And you guarantee, they don't deal drugs in those neighborhoods.

ZASA

I don't guarantee that. I guarantee I'll kill anybody who does.

DON ALTOBELLO

Let me talk to him, let me talk to him.

MICHAEL

Who can refuse, Don Altobello…

<The Dons are passing around a tray full of gold jewelry and pearls, and each take one.>

DON ALTOBELLO

Joey...

JOEY (interrupts)

NO! I say to all of you, I have been treated this day, with no respect. I've earned you all money. I've made you rich, and I asked for little. Good. You will not give, I'll take! As for Don, Corleone, well he makes it, very clear to me today, that he is my enemy. You must choose between us.

<Joey storms out. Don Altobello chases after him.>

ALTOBELLO

Hey Joey – no – Joey – no – Joey …

(then, to Michael)

We can reason together – no – Michael, Michael – please, let’s agreed, huh?

MICHAEL

No, Altobello…

<Altobello exists the room>

PERISI

Uh, Michael, Michael. The news is everywhere. Everyone is saying that, you control Immobiliare.

<The Dons begin talking at once.>

A DON

Immobiliare already is laundering money in Peru, in Nassau, we know that…

A DON

Listen to me, Michael…

A DON

Michael, why shouldn’t…

A DON

We should wet our beaks a little…

A DON

We want to do business with you, Michael – we’ve been together for many…

A DON

We could wash our money clean … with holy water…

<Michael stays silent as everyone talks to him, but the talking suddenly stops as a rumbling noise is heard and the room starts to shake. Vincent reacts first.>

VINCENT (to Michael): It’s a hit -- Let's go.

<The meeting disbands and everyone leaps up to leave. "Let’s get outta here!" On the outside of the room, someone snaps a pair of handcuffs over the doorknobs, locking the Dons in the room. A helicopter appears overhead and machine gun fire rips through the glass ceiling of the room. Vincent protects Michael as a massacre ensues.>

VOICE (to a Don)

Forget your coat!

A DON (trying to retrieve his coat before being riddled with bullets)

It’s my lucky coat! It’s my lucky coat!

<Al Neri retrieves a shotgun from behind the bar and blasts a door open.>

AL NERI

Mikey, this way!

<Michael and Vincent escape through this door.>

A DON (laying, bleeding, on the floor)

Zasa! You son of a bitch!

Vincent breaks into a car and opens the door for Michael.

VINCENT

Come on. We're outta here.

<Vincent and Michael escape as we see shots of the remains of the room, and of the bodies that fill it.>
 

 

 

 

SCENE I. King Lear's palace.

    Enter KENT, GLOUCESTER, and EDMUND

KENT

    I thought the king had more affected the Duke of
    Albany than Cornwall.

GLOUCESTER

    It did always seem so to us: but now, in the
    division of the kingdom, it appears not which of
    the dukes he values most; for equalities are so
    weighed, that curiosity in neither can make choice
    of either's moiety.

KENT

    Is not this your son, my lord?

GLOUCESTER

    His breeding, sir, hath been at my charge: I have
    so often blushed to acknowledge him, that now I am
    brazed to it.

KENT

    I cannot conceive you.

GLOUCESTER

    Sir, this young fellow's mother could: whereupon
    she grew round-wombed, and had, indeed, sir, a son
    for her cradle ere she had a husband for her bed.
    Do you smell a fault?

KENT

    I cannot wish the fault undone, the issue of it
    being so proper.

GLOUCESTER

    But I have, sir, a son by order of law, some year
    elder than this, who yet is no dearer in my account:
    though this knave came something saucily into the
    world before he was sent for, yet was his mother
    fair; there was good sport at his making, and the
    whoreson must be acknowledged. Do you know this
    noble gentleman, Edmund?

EDMUND

    No, my lord.

GLOUCESTER

    My lord of Kent: remember him hereafter as my
    honourable friend.

EDMUND

    My services to your lordship.

KENT

    I must love you, and sue to know you better.

EDMUND

    Sir, I shall study deserving.

GLOUCESTER

    He hath been out nine years, and away he shall
    again. The King is coming.


    Sennet. Enter KING LEAR, CORNWALL, ALBANY, GONERIL, REGAN, CORDELIA, and Attendants

KING LEAR

    Attend The Lords of France and Burgundy, Gloucester.

GLOUCESTER

    I shall, My Liege.

    Exeunt GLOUCESTER and EDMUND -- The Bastard Goes WITH Him.




SCENE II. The Earl of Gloucester's castle.

    Enter EDMUND, with a letter

EDMUND

    Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law
    My services are bound. Wherefore should I
    Stand in the plague of custom, and permit
    The curiosity of nations to deprive me,
    For that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines
    Lag of a brother? Why bastard? wherefore base?
    When my dimensions are as well compact,
    My mind as generous, and my shape as true,
    As honest madam's issue? Why brand they us
    With base? with baseness? bastardy? base, base?
    Who, in the lusty stealth of nature, take
    More composition and fierce quality
    Than doth, within a dull, stale, tired bed,
    Go to the creating a whole tribe of fops,
    Got 'tween asleep and wake? Well, then,
    Legitimate Edgar, I must have your land:
    Our Father's love is to the bastard Edmund
    As to the legitimate: fine word,--legitimate!
    Well, my legitimate, if this letter speed,
    And my invention thrive, Edmund The Base
    Shall top The Legitimate. I grow; I prosper:
    Now, Gods, Stand Up for Bastards!

    Enter GLOUCESTER

King John receives an ambassador from France who demands with a threat of war that he renounce his throne in favour of his nephew, Arthur, whom the French King Philip believes to be the rightful heir to the throne.

John adjudicates an inheritance dispute between Robert Faulconbridge and his older brother Philip the Bastard, during which it becomes apparent that Philip is the illegitimate son of King Richard I. Queen Eleanor, mother to both Richard and John, recognises the family resemblance and suggests that he renounce his claim to the Faulconbridge land in exchange for a knighthood. 

John Knights Philip The Bastard under the name Richard.

A 19th century drawing by Thomas Nast

In France, King Philip and his forces besiege the English-ruled town of Angers, threatening attack unless its citizens support Arthur. Philip is supported by Austria, who is believed to have killed King Richard. The English contingent arrives; and then Eleanor trades insults with Constance, Arthur’s mother. Kings Philip and John stake their claims in front of Angers’ citizens, but to no avail: their representative says that they will support the rightful king, whoever that turns out to be.

The French and English armies clash, but no clear victor emerges. Each army dispatches a herald claiming victory, but Angers’ citizens continue to refuse to recognize either claimant because neither army has proven victorious.

The Bastard proposes that England and France unite to punish the rebellious citizens of Angers, at which point the citizens propose an alternative: Philip’s son, Louis the Dauphin, should marry John’s niece Blanche (a scheme that gives John a stronger claim to the throne) while Louis gains territory for France. Though a furious Constance accuses Philip of abandoning Arthur, Louis and Blanche are married.

Cardinal Pandolf arrives from Rome bearing a formal accusation that John has disobeyed the Pope and appointed an archbishop contrary to his desires. John refuses to recant, whereupon he is excommunicated. Pandolf pledges his support for Louis, though Philip is hesitant, having just established family ties with John. Pandolf brings him round by pointing out that his links to the church are older and firmer.

War breaks out; Austria is beheaded by the Bastard in revenge for his father’s death; and both Angers and Arthur are captured by the English. Eleanor is left in charge of English possessions in France, while the Bastard is sent to collect funds from English monasteries. John orders Hubert to kill Arthur. Pandolf suggests to Louis that he now has as strong a claim to the English throne as Arthur (and indeed John), and Louis agrees to invade England.

A Lithograph depicting Act III Scene I

Hubert finds himself unable to kill Arthur. John’s nobles urge Arthur’s release. John agrees, but is wrong-footed by Hubert’s announcement that Arthur is dead. The nobles, believing he was murdered, defect to Louis’ side. Equally upsetting, and more heartbreaking to John, is the news of his mother’s death, along with that of Lady Constance. The Bastard reports that the monasteries are unhappy about John’s attempt to seize their gold. Hubert has a furious argument with John, during which he reveals that Arthur is still alive. John, delighted, sends him to report the news to the nobles.

Arthur dies jumping from a castle wall. 

(It is open to interpretation whether he deliberately kills himself or just makes a risky escape attempt.) 

The nobles believe he was murdered by John, and refuse to believe Hubert’s entreaties. John attempts to make a deal with Pandolf, swearing allegiance to the Pope in exchange for Pandolf’s negotiating with the French on his behalf. John orders the Bastard, one of his few remaining loyal subjects, to lead the English army against France.

While John’s former noblemen swear allegiance to Louis, Pandolf explains John’s scheme, but Louis refuses to be taken in by it. The Bastard arrives with the English army and threatens Louis, but to no avail. War breaks out with substantial losses on each side, including Louis’ reinforcements, who are drowned during the sea crossing. Many English nobles return to John’s side after a dying French nobleman, Melun, warns them that Louis plans to kill them after his victory.

John is poisoned by a disgruntled monk. His nobles gather around him as he dies. 

The Bastard plans the final assault on Louis’ forces, until he is told that Pandolf has arrived with a peace treaty. The English nobles swear allegiance to John’s son Prince Henry, and the Bastard reflects that this episode has taught that internal bickering could be as perilous to England’s fortunes as foreign invasion.

The First Human

“I was Hurt in a FALL, You Might Say.”

ABRAHAM, 

The Father of Nations :

[Sighs] 

I like the way you call bullshit. 

So let me return the favor. 

The next thing you're gonna tell me is that you'll go and that I can stay. 

Because I know you didn't like hearing yourself just say that,

"Maggie's gotta take care of Maggie." 

I know those words are gonna choke in your ears a good, long while and you're gonna wanna make up for even thinking that. 

Am I right? 

Yeah. 

ABRAHAM, 

The Father of Nations :

We lay our Big Meaties across the chopping block ahead of someone else's. 

It's ALWAYS for Someone Else. 

Both of us know, if we're gonna kick, there sure as hell better be a point to it. 

So maybe we feel there was a-a point to all of this. 

Alpha to Omega. 

Whether it's on The Battlefield or The Beach or somewhere out there today. 

Maggie -- She's carrying The Future. 

You're right. 

[Sniffles] 

I knew how this was gonna end. 

ABRAHAM, 

The Father of Nations :

C'mon. Layin' your ass on the line for someone else, tearin' it to shreds for 'em -- 

You said it before. 

Oh, my, that is living. 

[Chuckles] 

You're an idiot. 

ABRAHAM, 

The Father of Nations :

I never said otherwise. 

[Sighs]

Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!

Thou that wast seal'd in thy nativity

The slave of nature and the son of hell!

Thou slander of thy mother's heavy womb!

Thou loathed issue of thy father's loins!

Thou rag of honour! thou detested--

GLOUCESTER

Margaret.

QUEEN MARGARET

Richard!

GLOUCESTER

Ha!

QUEEN MARGARET

I call thee not.

GLOUCESTER

I cry thee mercy then, for I had thought

That thou hadst call'd me all these bitter names.

QUEEN MARGARET

Why, so I did; but look'd for no reply.

O, let me make the period to my curse!

GLOUCESTER

'Tis done by me, and ends in 'Margaret.'

QUEEN ELIZABETH

Thus have you breathed your curse against yourself.

Well, The First Human Being is a Murderer, 

and not only a Murderer, but a Murderer of his own brother. 

And so, you know, the Old Testament, that’s a hell of a harsh book. And you might think, well, 'Maybe that’s a little bit too much to bear.'

And then you might think, 

And 

'Yea, and maybe it’s true, too.'

"And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord."

This is after Adam and Eve have been chased out of the garden of Eden. What’s really cool about this—I really think that the Cain and Abel story is the most profound story I’ve ever read, especially given that you can tell it in 15 seconds. I won’t, because I tend not to tell stories in 15 seconds, as you may have noticed. But you can read the whole thing that quickly. It’s so densely packed that it’s actually unbelievable.

Ok, so the first thing is that Adam and Eve are not the first two human beings. Cain and Abel are the first two human beings. Adam and Eve were made by God, and they were born in paradise. It’s like, what kind of human beings are those? You don’t know any human beings like that. Human beings aren’t born in paradise and made by God. Human beings are born of other human beings. That’s the first thing. It’s post-fall. We’re out in history, now. We’re not in some archetypal beyond—although we are still, to some degree. Not to the degree that was the case with the story of Adam and Eve. We’ve already been thrown out of the garden; we’re already self-conscious; we’re already awake; we’re already covered; we’re already working. We’re full-fledged human beings. So you have the first two human beings: Cain and Abel; prototypical human beings.

What’s cool is that humanity enters history at the end of the story of Adam and Eve, and then the archetypal patterns for human behaviour are instantaneously presented. It’s absolutely mind boggling, and it’s not a very nice story. They’re hostile brothers. They’ve got their hands around each other’s throats, so to speak, or at least that’s the case in one direction. It’s a story of the first two human beings engaged in a fratricidal struggle, that ends in the death of the best one of them. That’s the story of human beings in history. If that doesn’t give you nightmares, you didn’t understand the damn story.

Now, in these hostile brother stories, which are very, very common, often the older brother—Cain—has some advantages. He’s the older brother, and, in an agricultural community, the older brother generally inherited the land, and not the younger brothers. And the reason for that was, well, let’s say you have like eight sons, and you have enough land to support a bit of a family, and you divide among your eight sons, and they have eight sons, and they divide it among their eight sons. Soon, everyone has a little postage stamp that they can stand on and starve to death on. And so that just doesn’t work. You hand the land in a piece to the eldest son, and that’s just how it is. It’s tough luck for the rest of them, but at least they know they’re gonna have to go and make their own way. It’s not fair, but there’s no way of making it fair.

Well, you might say the oldest son has an additional stake in the stability of the current hierarchy. He has more of a stake in the status quo. That makes him more of an emblematic representative of the status quo, and, perhaps, more likely to be blind in its favor. It’s something like that. That motif creeps up very frequently in the hostile brothers archetypal struggle. The story of Cain and Abel fits this pattern, because Cain is the one who won’t budge, and who won’t move. He’s stubborn. Whereas the younger son, who’s Abel, is often the one who’s more…Not so much of a revolutionary, but, perhaps, more of a balance between the revolutionary and the traditions, whereas the older son tends to be more traditionalist-authoritarian—in these metaphorical representations, at least.

"And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord." 

There’s the first human being: Cain. I told you that the Mesopotamians thought that mankind was made out of the blood of the worst demon that the great goddess of chaos could imagine. Well, the first human being is a murderer, and not only a murderer, but a murderer of his own brother. And so, you know, the Old Testament, that’s a hell of a harsh book. And you might think, well, maybe that’s a little bit too much to bear. And then you might think, yea, and maybe it’s true, too. So that’s something to think about.

Human beings are amazing creatures. To think about us as a plague on the planet is its own kind of bloody catastrophe—malevolent, low, quasi-genocidal metaphor. But that doesn’t mean that we aren’t without our problems. The fact that this book, that sits at the cornerstone of our culture, would present the first man as a murderer of his brother, is something that should really set you back on your heels.

Laertes Cheated and Did The Blade Envenom!

Can you imagine Hamlet if he'd decided to avenge his Dad's murder by dressing as Batman  and fighting crime in Downtown Elsinore?

Hamlet’s Father’s Name is ‘Hamlet’ — 

He’s Hamlet, Son of Hamlet

The Son of The Dane

And he isn’t The King — 

Why Not?

Because 

He’s Insane 

(maybe)

The Exorcist :
Colonel, do me a favor? Please?

Explain to this moron here that in none of the plays of Shakespeare can there be a part for Superman.

SUNSHINE-SUPERMAN :

There could be, the way I explained it.

The Exorcist :

The way you explained! Jesus!

You know what he wants? You want to hear?

When the conspirators draw their knives, he wants to rescue Julius Caesar!

Ready? Swoop down like a rocket, pick him up and go hurdling mighty temples in one single, incredible bound!

Jesus, Nammack. Are you crazy?

KANE :

Maybe we do need a few restrictions.

The Exorcist :

Colonel.

Colonel.

I'm in trouble, I need help. Immediate help.

Take an enema; call me soon.

Dr. Fell, you're wanted in surgery.

I've been having an argument, a monster... and I'll like you to settle it once and for all.

Some Shakespearean -

Hold this please.

Some Shakespearean scho -

Thank you.

Some Shakespearean scholars say, that when Hamlet is pretending he's crazy... 

He really IS crazy,

Correct?

KANE :

That's right.

The Exorcist :

Now, other Shakespearean scholars say, that when Hamlet...

Other Shakespearean scholars say that when Hamlet is pretending to be nuts... he really isn't nuts, its an act.

Please give me your opinion.

KANE :

I would like to hear your's first.

The Exorcist :

[ To the dog, Sir Lawrence, who is the one he is having the argument with. ]

Terrific psychiatrist.

That's class.

Dr. Fell (No, really, he did) :

Pretty...

The Exorcist :

Why don't you go inoculate a fucking armadillo, Fell?

Doctor Fell (No, Really, he did.) :

No really, I'm interested. 

I'm terribly interested.

The Exorcist :

Your interests are coextensive with on Nero's ass on Sunday morning.

Heady concept, Frankie.

Now listen, Colonel — 

Considering how Hamlet is acting... is he really and truly crazy?

Kane :

Yes.

Fell :

No.

The Exorcist :

You're BOTH wrong.

Now think what happens:

First the father dies; then his girl leaves him flat.

Then, there's the appearance by His Father's Ghost...

Bad enough, but then The Ghost says he was murdered.

And by whom?

By Hamlet's Uncle, 

who recently married Hamlet's Mother!

Now that by itself is a helluva hangup — 

because Hamlet LIKED His Mother... a LOT!

Kane :

But then we agreed than Hamlet's insane.

The Exorcist :

No, he's not.

He is pretending, but...

If Hamlet HADN’T pretended to BE crazy, 

he would have GONE crazy.

See, Hamlet isn't psycho.

He's hanging on a brink.

A little shove, a little teensy eensy little eensy push, and the kid's gone! Bananas! Whacked out!

So his unconscious mind makes

him do what keeps him sane... 

namely acting like he's nuts!

See 'Cause acting crazy...

...is a way to let off steam; a way to

get rid of your fucking aggression. 

A way to get rid of your fears and your terrors...

If I did what Hamlet does in this play, they'd lock me up; 

They'd put me in prison.

They'll punish me, sure!

But him? 

Prince Royal Garbagemouth gets away with murder. 

And why?

Because nuts are not responsible!

Meantime, the crazier Hamlet acts... the more he indulges himself, the healthier he gets!

Kane :

Yes. I think...

The Exorcist :

I'm waiting.

Kane :

I think I agree with your theory.

The Exorcist :

Yes! There!

You see? You understand that now,

you dumb stupid idiot?

From Now On, We Do The Scene My Way!

Come On, Sir Lawrence!

God bless your veins and your arteries, Colonel.

Sir Lawrence, you don't know shit...

Astronaut Capt. Billy Cutshaw :

Did he buy it?

The Exorcist :

Did he buy it?

Hell, I bought it.

Billy, I think there is something wrong with us.

Kane, The Killer :

Groper, get off the line.

The Hamlet theory is correct.

Capes and Capers

The Exorcist :

Colonel, do me a favor? Please?

Explain to this moron here that 

in none of the plays of Shakespeare 

can there be a part for Superman.

Sunshine Superman :

There could be, the way I explained it.

The Exorcist :

The way you explained! Jesus!

You know what he wants? You want to hear?

When the conspirators draw their knives, 

he wants to rescue Julius Caesar!

Ready? Swoop down like a rocket, pick him up 

and go hurdling mighty temples 

in one single, incredible bound!

Jesus, Nammack. Are you crazy?

KANE :

Maybe we do need a few restrictions.

The Exorcist :

Colonel.

Colonel.

I'm in Trouble, I need help. 

Immediate help.

Take an enema; call me soon.

Dr. Fell, you're wanted in surgery.

I've been having an argument, a monster... 

and I'll like you to settle it once and for all.

Some Shakespearean -

Hold this please.

Some Shakespearean scho -

Thank you.

Some Shakespearean scholars say, that when Hamlet is pretending he's crazy... 

He really IS crazy,

Correct?

KANE :

That's right.

The Exorcist :

Now, other Shakespearean scholars say, that when Hamlet...

Other Shakespearean scholars say that 

when Hamlet is pretending to be nuts... 

he really isn't nuts, its an act.

Please give me your opinion.

KANE :

I would like to hear your's first.

The Exorcist :

(To the dog, Sir Lawrence, 

who is the one he is having the argument with.)

Terrific psychiatrist.

That's class.

Dr. Fell 

(No, really, he did) :

Pretty...

The Exorcist :

Why don't you go inoculate a fucking armadillo, Fell?

Doctor Fell 

(No, Really, he did.) :

No really, I'm interested. 

I'm terribly interested.

The Exorcist :

Your interests are coextensive 

with on Nero's ass on Sunday morning.

Heady concept, Frankie.

The Exorcist :

Now listen, Colonel — 

Considering how Hamlet is acting... 

is he really and truly crazy?

Kane :

Yes.

Fell :

No.

The Exorcist :

You're BOTH wrong.

Now think what happens:

First The Father dies; 

then His Girl leaves him flat.

Then, there's the appearance by 

His Father's Ghost...

Bad enough, but then 

The Ghost says he was murdered.

And by whom?

By Hamlet's Uncle, 

who recently married Hamlet's Mother!

Now that, by itself is a helluva hangup — 

because Hamlet LIKED His Mother... a LOT!

Kane :

But then we agreed that Hamlet's insane.

The Exorcist :

No, he's not.

He is pretending, but...

If Hamlet HADN’T pretended to BE crazy, 

he would have GONE crazy.

See, Hamlet isn't psycho.

He's hanging on a brink.

A little shove, a little teensy eensy little eensy push, 

and the kid's gone! Bananas! Whacked out!

So his unconscious mind makes

him do what keeps him sane... namely 

acting like he's nuts!

See 'Cause acting crazy...

is a way to let off steam; 

a way to get rid of your 

fucking aggression. 

A way to get rid of your 

fears and your terrors...

If I did what Hamlet does in this play, 

They'd lock me up; 

They'd put me in prison.

They'll punish me, sure!

But Him? 

Prince Royal Garbagemouth 

gets away with murder. 

And why?

Because nuts are not responsible!

Meantime, the crazier Hamlet acts... 

The more he indulges himself, 

the healthier he gets!

Kane :

Yes. I think...

The Exorcist :

I'm waiting.

Kane :

I think I agree with Your Theory.

The Exorcist :

Yes! There!

(to Sir Lawrence, The Dog)

You see? You understand that now,

you dumb stupid idiot?

From Now On, We Do The Scene My Way!

Come On, Sir Lawrence!

God bless your veins and your arteries, Colonel.

Sir Lawrence, you don't know shit...

Astronaut 

Capt. Billy Cutshaw :

Did he buy it?

The Exorcist :

Did he buy it?

Hell, I bought it.

Billy, I think there is something wrong with us.

Kane, The Killer :

Groper, get off the line.

The Hamlet Theory is Correct.