Mean Old Bear

INT. INFIRMARY - LATER

Mal is looking at River, silent.

KAYLEE 

Captain...?

He turns. She has woken, is woozy and quiet.

MAL 

Hey... Hey little Kaylee, 

what's the news?

KAYLEE 

I'm shiny, Captain. A-okay. 

Can't feel much below my belly, 

though. And I'm... it's gettin' cold.

Mal moves to get her another blanket, lays it on her -- 

all the while hiding his feelings at hearing that.

MAL 

You just gotta rest. Something on this boat's 

gonna break down real soon, and 

who else I got to fix it?

KAYLEE 

Don't worry none... Doc fixed 

me up pretty. He's nice.

MAL 

Don't go working too hard on that crush, 

< little sister >. Doc won't be with us for long.

KAYLEE 

You're nice, too.

MAL 

No, I'm not. I'm a 

mean old man.

KAYLEE 

He wasn't gonna let me die. 

He was just trying to... It's nobody's fault. 

Promise me you'll remember that?

MAL (takes her hand) I'll keep it in mind.

KAYLEE 

You are a nice man, Captain. 

You always look after us. 

But you got to... you got 

to have faith in people.

He says nothing, just holds her hand.

Her eyes drift to River, still sleeping.

KAYLEE (cont'd) 

She is a beauty, isn't she?

She smiles... and her eyes gently close.

Her hand slips from Mal's.

INT. INARA'S CHAMBER - LATER

Simon is there, as Inara hands 

him a couple of packets.

SIMON 

Thank you.

INARA 

This is just standard Companion-immunisation package. 

I'm not sure it'll help in this --

SIMON 

It won't hurt. The supplies down 

there are pretty rudimentary.

INARA 

Is there anything 

else I can do?

SIMON 

I don't think so. 

But I appreciate it.

INARA 

Kaylee's very dear. 

To all of us.

SIMON 

I'm sorry. For my part in what happened. 

I've never... I don't know how to --

INARA 

You're Lost in The Woods. 

We all are. Even The Captain. 

The only difference is, 

he likes it that way.

MAL (entering) 

No, the difference is, The Woods are 

the only place I can see a clear path. 

(to Simon) What's your business here?

INARA 

It's my business, the usual. 

I gave the boy a free thrust, 

since he's not long for this world. 

What are you doing on my shuttle?

MAL 

It's my shuttle. 

You rent it.

INARA 

Then when I'm behind on the rent, 

you can enter unasked.

Simon elbows his way out. Mal and Inara 

look at each other a moment.

MAL 

Thought you were leaving, anyhow.

INARA 

Well I guess that 

depends on you.

Mal turns and goes.

INT. CARGO BAY - CONTINUOUS

Simon is walking away, 

but Mal stops him :

MAL 

You'll ruin her, 

too, you know.

Simon turns.

MAL (cont'd) 

This is the thing I see 

you're uncomprehending on. 

Everyone on this ship, even a 

'legitimate businesswoman' like her, 

their lives can be snatched 

away because of that Fed. 

You got a solution for that? 

Got a way round?

SIMON 

I don't.

MAL 

Comes time, somebody's gonna have to deal with him. 

That should be you, but I don't think you have the guts. 

And I know you don't have the time.

SIMON 

What do you mean?

MAL 

Kaylee's dead.

He is steely, contained. Simon is quietly devastated.

Mal turns and walks toward the bridge. 

A moment, and Simon starts in a daze for the infirmary, 

running, unable to accept it as he enters:

INT. INFIRMARY - CONTINUING

To find Kaylee sitting up a bit, talking weakly but happily with Book. 

Simon turns and looks out where Mal left, true shock in his eyes.

SIMON 

The man's psychotic.

INT. BRIDGE - MOMENTS LATER

Mal, Wash, Jayne and Zoe are all laughing.

WASH 

Okay, you are psychotic.

MAL 

No, but you should have seen 

his face... ahhh.... I'm a bad man.

ZOE And Kaylee's really okay?

MAL 

I'll tell you the truth, I didn't expect her to heal this quick. 

The doctor knows his trade, I'll give him --

There is a noise from a console. Wash checks it out.

WASH We're being hailed.

MAL 

That'd be Patience. 

Put her up.

We briefly see an image on a screen, a weathered, 

pioneer-looking woman of about fifty.

PATIENCE I talking to Malcolm Reynolds?

MAL Hello, Patience. Long time.

PATIENCE Mal. Hear you got some treats for me.

MAL Delectable treats, three boxes, two hundred for the lot. In coin.

PATIENCE I'm not even sure I have that much paper, come on.

MAL Paper's no good to us, Darlin'. Coin. Cargo's worth it.

PATIENCE I might maybe scrounge up one fifty.

MAL I might maybe fly on to Three Hills.

PATIENCE 

All right. You got what I need. But I'm cross with you, 

holding me over a barrel in this time of need. 

You're not gettin' a kiss, don't even bother begging.

MAL 

My burden to bear.

PATIENCE 

Snake. I'll meet you at oh nine hundred, few miles out of town. 

Uploading telemetry and coordinates now.

MAL 

See you in the world.

He hits a button, ending the talk.

MAL (cont'd) 

Hell of lady. Dropped on that rock with nothing, 

owns half the damn town.

ZOE It's a trap?

MAL 

Oh yeah. She's gonna kill us. Not a doubt.

JAYNE She did give in awful easy.

MAL 

Time was, she never would've been... 

But I'm sure. It was in her voice.

WASH So, what, we fly on?

MAL We do not. We're gonna finish this. 

There's obstacles in our path, we're gonna 

deal with them. One by one.

INT. DOBSON'S ROOM - CONTINUING

We see Dobson sawing away at his bonds with a tiny, jagged piece of metal.

MAL (O.S.) 

And maybe, if we're any kind of lucky, 

we end this day alive and free.

Eating Socrates

“It was Socrates.”

Only if you believe Plato.

Socrates was dead when 

he wrote it; IF he wrote it.

CAT: 

Great.  So where 

does this leave us?

KRYTEN: 

It leaves us floating aimlessly in space, with no navigation 

and a rapidly diminishing emergency power supply.  

It leaves us galloping up diarrhoea drive without a saddle!

CAT: 

So how come Grand Canyon Nostrils is still here?

LISTER: 

Yeah, Rimmer hasn't been wiped!

KRYTEN: 

Holly must have linked him up 

to the emergency power supply.

LISTER: 

But isn't that an enormous DRAIN?

KRYTEN: 

Yes, but if we switch off his projection unit, we wouldn't 

have enough emergency power to re-initialise it.  

Mister Rimmer would be effectively dead.

CAT: Hey, things are looking up already!

RIMMER: 

Forget it.  Whatever it is 

you're suggesting, forget it.

KRYTEN: 

But the entire ship is running on emergency battery power only.

With the oxygen recycler and minimal heating and lighting, 

I estimate that Lister and the Cat have 

approximately two months left. 

 Without your drain on The Power, 

they MIGHT last six.  

I'm sorry, Sir.

RIMMER: 

“Sorry”?  Why are you “sorry”?

KRYTEN: 

Well, Space Corps Directive 195 clearly states 

that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic 

crewmember must lay down his life in order that 

the living crewmembers might survive.

RIMMER: 

Yes, but Rimmer Directive 271 states just 

as clearly, "No chance, you metal bastard."

CAT: 

Come on, man, you gotta sacrifice your life!  

I'm not asking you to do anything I wouldn't do!

RIMMER: 

YOU?  You'd sacrifice your life 

for the good of the crew?

CAT: 

No, I'd sacrifice YOUR life 

for the good of the crew.

KRYTEN: 

I beg you to reconsider, Sir.  Human history is 

resplendent with examples of such sacrifice.  

Remember Captain Oates:  "I'm going out for a walk.  

I may be some time."

RIMMER: 

Yes, but the thing is, about Captain Oates; the thing you have to remember about Captain Oates; Captain Oates ... 

Captain Oates was a prat.  If that'd been me, 

I'd've stayed in the tent, whacked Scott over 

the head with a frozen husky — 

and then EATEN him.

LISTER:

 You would too, wouldn't you?

RIMMER: 

History, Lister, is written by The Winners.  

How do we KNOW that Oates went 

out for this legendary walk?  

From the ONLY surviving 

document :  Scott's Diary.  

And he's hardly likely to have written down,

"February the First, bludgeoned Oates 

to death while he slept, then scoffed him 

along with the last packet of instant mash." 

How's THAT going to look when he gets rescued, eh?  

No, much better to say, "Oates made the supreme sacrifice," while 

you're dabbing up his gravy with the last piece of crusty bread.

LISTER: 

You've got no magnificence in 

your soul, have you, Rimmer?

RIMMER: 

Let's just say we can eliminate 

the switch-off option.

CAT:

So what do we do now?

LISTER: 

Well, it's back to basics.  We've got no heat, no light, no power; 

we can't get any food out of the dispensing machines; 

we're gonna have to scavenge for what we 

can find in the cargo decks.

Without computers and technology, 

we're reduced to the level of primitives.  

All we've got is Us-Guys, 

Us and our own resourcefulness.

CAT: 

My God, it's worse than I thought!

You Made a Bear

Fun Buffyverse Moments - "You made a bear!"

INTERIOR - UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON- 

DAHLGREN CHAPEL - DAY

The Bishop walks into the chapel, and walks to the aisle. 

When he reaches the aisle he bows 

and then approaches the altar. 

He places one of the boucuets in front of one statue, 

but as he turns to the camera he walks very slowly 

and we see him in shock as he gasps. 

We cut to what he has seen. 

It's the statue of the Virgin Mary, which has 

been horribly desecrated, by being given 

a clay penis and pointing clay breasts.

INTERIOR - BELLEVUE PSYCHIATRIC 

HOSPITAL - HALLYWAY- DAY

We cut to Karras hurridly walking down 

a corridor being followed by his Uncle.

UNCLE

The edima affected her brain, you 

understand Dimmy? She don't 

let no Doctor come near her. 

She was all the time screaming, 

even talking to the radio.

KARRAS

You should have called me 

the minute it happened.

UNCLE

Listen, regular hospital not going 

to put up with her Dimmy, understand? 

So we give her a shot and bring her here, 

'till the doctors fix up her leg, then we take 

her out Dimmy, two or three months 

and she's out good as new.

They approach an office and Karras' Uncle 

walks in to speak to he nurse.

UNCLE

Miss?

NURSE

Yes?

UNCLE

We want to see Mrs. Karras.

NURSE

Do you have an appointment?

UNCLE

Yes

NURSE

Are you a relative?

UNCLE

Yes I am Her Brother, 

He's The Son

NURSE

Just a minute.

The grabs a set of keys and writes something in a note book. 

We then cut to Damien staring in the window of the ward. 

He's see's all sorts of people, all with mental problems.

UNCLE

You know it's funny. If You wasn't A Priest 

You'd be famous psychiatrist now on Park Avenue, 

Your Mother, she'd be living in 

a penthouse instead of here.

The nurse unlocks the door and opens it. 

Damien looks at His Uncle.

UNCLE

You go in Dimmy. 

I wait for you outside.

Karras walks in and leaves 

His Uncle behind.

NURSE

You'll find Mrs. Karras on the 

last bed on the left hand side.

As Damien enters, a few of the patients rush toward him. 

Two of them grab him, as the nurse tries to get them away.

Damien barges them out of his way only to have 

another patient rush into him and take his collar. 

The nurse takes her away as bed-bound patients 

look on with arms out stretched. 

Damien approaches his mothers bed.

KARRAS

Momma? It's Dimmy momma.

Mrs. Karras slowly turns her eyes to him.

MRS. KARRAS

Dimmy. Why they did this 

to me Dimmy? Why?

Damien rushes to comfort his mother.

KARRAS

Momma, I'm gonna take you outta here momma.

Mrs. Karras struggles to turn away from him.

KARRAS

Momma I'm goona take you home.

Mrs. Karras shouts at him in Greek as Damien tries to comfort

her.

KARRAS

Momma, everything's gonna be alright momma, I'm gonna take you

home!

EXTERIOR- NEW YORK- CITY STREET- DAY

We cut to Damien talking to his Uncle face to face.

KARRAS

Couldn't you have put her some place else?

UNCLE

Like what? Private hospital? Who got the money for that Dimmy?

You?

INTERIOR- UNIVERSITY OF GEORGETOWN- BOXING GYM- DAY

We cut Damien taking his frustration out on a punch bag. He

throws a few hard punches before stopping for breath.

INTERIOR- DR. KLEIN'S EXAMINING ROOM- DAY

Brief montage of shots.

Klein administering a physical to Regan. Including opthalmoscope,

tuning fork and simple coordination tests. Also blood sample in

centrifograph, and urine sampl under microscope. Final shot has a

nurse with her back against the examining table, her expression

partly puzzled, partly disturbed as she observes Regan, who is in

her slip and in constant motion; stepping, twirling, touching,

making nervous movements whilst aimlessly humming. Klein is not

present.

INTERIOR- DR. KLEIN'S OFFICE- DAY

Chris is seated on the edge of a chair. Klein is behind his desk,

writing a prescription.

DR. KLEIN

A disorder of the nerves. At least we think it is. We don't know

yet exactly how it works, but it's often seen in earl

adolescence. She shows all the symptoms: the hyperactivity; the

temper; her performance in math.

CHRIS

Why the math?

DR. KLEIN

It affects concentration.

Here tears the prescription away from the pad.

DR. KLEIN

Now this is for Ritalin. Ten miligrams a day.

CHRIS

What is it? A tranquilizer?

DR. KLEIN

A stimulant.

CHRIS

Stimulant? She's higher than a kite right now!

DR. KLEIN

Her condition isn't quite what it seems. Nobody knows the cause

of her hyperkinetic behaviour in a child. The Ritalin sems to

work to relieve the condition, but we really don't know how or

why, frankly. Your daughter's symptoms could be an overreaction

to depression- but that's out of my field.

CHRIS

Depression?

DR. KLEIN

Well, you mentioned her father... the divorce.

CHRIS

Do you think I should take her to see a psychiatrist?

DR. KLEIN

Oh no. I'd wait and see what happens with the Ritalin. I think

that's the answer. Wait two or three weeks.

CHRIS

And those lies she's been telling?

DR. KLEIN

Lies?

CHRIS

Ya know, those things to get attention, like saying that her bed

shakes and stuff.

DR. KLEIN

Have you ever known your daughter to swear and use obscenities?

CHRIS

Never.

DR. KLEIN

Well, you see, that's quite similar to things like her lying-

uncharacter-

CHRIS

Wait a minute. What are you talking about?

DR. KLEIN

Well, she let loose quite a string while I was examining her,

Mrs. MacNeil.

CHRIS

You're kidding! Like what?

DR. KLEIN

Well, I'd say her vocabulary's rather extensive.

CHRIS

Well, what, for example? I mean, give me a for instance!

Klein shrugs. No reply.

CHRIS

Hey, come on, I'm grown-up. What'd she say? I mean specifically,

Doctor.

DR. KLEIN

Well, specifically, Mrs. MacNeil, she advised me to keep my

fingers away from her goddam cunt.

CHRIS

(shocked, laughing)

She used those words?

DR. KLEIN

She used those words. Look, I doubt that she even understood what

she was saying.

CHRIS

Yeah, I guess. Maybe not. You don't think a psychiatrist-?

DR. KLEIN

The best explanation is always the simplest one. Let's wait.

Let's wait and see. In the meantime try not to worry.

EXTERIOR- MACNEIL HOUSE- PROSPECT STREET- NIGHT

We see the house is lit up as there's a party going on inside. A

car pulls up before we enter.

INTERIOR- MACNEIL HOUSE- NIGHT

We see lots of people enjoying them selves, talking, laughing,

eating. Music playing and people having a good time. We see Burke

sitting on a couch with two people beside him, he's drunk and is

sat twirling his finger around in his drink.

BURKE

There seems to be an alien pubic hair in my Gin.

ASTRONAUT

I beg your pardon?

BURKE

Never seen it before in my life. Have you?

We see more people having fun, Regan laughing and we then cut to

Father Dyer, a young priest who is talking to the same guy Burke

was.

ASTRONAUT

Well actually Father, we're quite comfortable up there, at least

compared to the Gemini and Mercury program. So they were tight

for space, see we've got about two-hundred and ten cubic feet so

we can move around.

FATHER DYER

Listen, if you ever go up there again will you take me along?

ASTRONAUT

(laughs)

What for?

FATHER DYER

First missionary on mars.

We then cut to Burke who is approaching Karl, who is carrying a

tray of drinks.

BURKE

Tell me, was it public relations you done for the Gestapo or

community relations?

KARL

I'm Swiss.

BURKE

Yes of course. Never went bowling with Goebbels either I suppose

ah?

Karl walks away.

BURKE

Nazi bastard.

We cut to Chris who is talking to Father Dyer.

CHRIS

Over behind the church, you know where I mean over there, it's a

red brick wing?

FATHER DYER

St. Mike's.

CHRIS

What goes down there? I mean who's the priest I keep seeing, he's

there all the time. He has black hair and he's very intense

looking?

FATHER DYER

Damien Karras.

CHRIS

Karras.

FATHER DYER

That's his office back of St. Mike's. He's our psychiatric

counsellor. He had a pretty rough knock last night poor guy, his

mother passed away. She was living by herself and I guess she was

dead a couple of days before they found her.

We cut to the kitchen where Burke is once again taunting Karl.

BURKE

Cunting Hun! Bloody damn butchering Nazi pig!

Karl lunges at Burke and grabs him by the throat.

KARL

Bastard! I will kill you.

CHRIS

Karl!!

Chris, Sharon and Willie pull Karl away from Burke. Willie takes

him into another room.

KARL

You fiend!

Burke just laughs and claps his hands.

BURKE

What's for dessert?

INTERIOR- MACNEIL HOUSE- REGAN'S BEDROOM-NIGHT

We see Regan is tucked up in bed with her eyes closed. Chris

pulls the covers up to her shoulders.

CHRIS

Are you asleep?

There is no reply so Chris kisses her and exits. As Chris

disappears Regan's eyes open suddenly.

INTERIOR- MACNEIL HOUSE- NIGHT

We cut to Chris and Sharon who are trying to help (a very drunk)

Burke to the front door. Burke is trying to mumble a song. Sharon

opens the front door for him.

CHRIS

Listen Burke, your car is on 

the curbe. Luis is waiting...

Burke hugs her. Chris looks confused and hugs him back. 

Burke pulls away and points his finger as if 

he wants to say something,

but he forgets.

CHRIS

What honey?

BURKE

.......Fuck it.

Burke walks off and Chris and Sharon 

close the door and return to The Party. 

Father Dyer is sitting at the piano 

and everyone is singing songs.

FATHER DYER

Hi Chris. Great party.

CHRIS

Yeah, don't stop. Keep going.

FATHER DYER

Listen, I don't need any encouragement, 

but my idea of Heaven is 

a solid white night club, 

with Me as the head liner, 

for all eternity and 

They love me.

Everyone laughs. 

Father Dyer starts to play a song 

and everyone sings along.

EVERYONE

"Down on the east side of Toyd..."

FATHER DYER

Toyd, Toyd.

EVERYONE

"Toyd, that's my home, sweet home. 

Can we both think it's..."

Regan appears in view and 

Father Dyer notices her first.

FATHER DYER

Hey I, I think we 

have a guest.

Everyone turns to Regan as she stands 

and stares at The Astronaut guy.

REGAN

You're gonna 

die up there.

The guy looks puzzled and Regan begins to urinate on the floor.

"Everything about them is Perfect." 

Perfection belonged to The Bears. 

But once in a while, Treadwell came 

face-to-face with the harsh reality 

of wild Nature. 

This did not fit into his sentimentalised view 

that everything Out There was Good, and 

The Universe in Balance and in Harmony. 

Male bears sometimes kill cubs to stop 

the females from lactating, and thus 

have them ready again for fornication. 

Here I differ with Treadwell. 

He seemed to ignore the fact that 

in Nature there are predators. 

I believe the common denominator of The Universe

 is not Harmony, but Chaos, Hostility and Murder.

Most disturbing for him was to find 

The Skull of a young bear. 

In the summer of 2000, came 

an extended drought. 

The creek was so low that for weeks, there 

was no salmon run, and starving bears 

simply ate their own.

When interference with 

Nature was not enough, 

he had to invoke

Higher Powers --