Red TARDIS

Back in the Mid-90s,

at a time when 

Doctor Who on Television 

DID NOT Exist,

some fans somehow

managed to get published  

a Non-Fiction reference book 

entitled :

‘The Completely Useless Encyclopdia’

It was a Doctor Who application of The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce —

(or, The Book of Lies by Crowley)

And under the entry for

‘Multi-Coloured Scarf’, 

it read, 

(and I quoting here precisely and purely From Memory) :

“Often worn by anorak-wearing Completists  who get The Colours all Wrong.”

Now, I showed that entry 

to a classmate of mine 

when we were both 

sitting in School,

whilst wearing

My Multi-Coloured Scarf.

And he looked me right in The Eye,

I Swear To God,

and he said :

“Are Those The Right Colours?”

And I replied,

“My Gran knitted it for me.”