The Care Stare

Well, you young-heads missed that shit. You’re all too young. You don’t remember that. 

How old are you, young, man? You -

"Twenty-four." 

Twenty-four? You don’t know shit. You don’t know shit! You gotta Google shit that I lived through. See, this is why I lock motherfuckers’ phones up. Seriously. Because the young kids, you guys need to take a break from that – We all need to break just from that technology, just for a minute. You know, I’m from a different time, young man. A dark time to you. I’m from a time that I didn’t even used to know who was on the phone until I answered the shit. 

Like, when Tragedy used to strike.

I remember I was 12 years old, and The Teacher wheeled a television set into the classroom. You remember these days? And she turned it on to one of three channels. And she said, “Class, the space shuttle is taking off, and we’re all gonna watch it take off.” Man, that shit was going great for like, three to five minutes. That’s right. You remember. It fucking exploded! Right on television. Everybody on board, dead. Immediately presumed dead. It was so bad, the teacher looked at all the kids and was like… “You can go home.” It was a goddamn national tragedy. This was Cold War America. The Russians were laughing at us.

My point is, for a guy your age wouldn’t even know the pain, because in your generation, it’s like the space shuttle blows up every fucking day. How can you care about anything when you know every goddamn thing? I’m getting over one cop shooting, and then another one happens, and then another one happens, and another one happens. I’m crying about Paris, and then Brussels happens. I can’t keep track of all this shit. So you just give the fuck up. That’s the hallmark of your generation, and that’s fucked up, because your generation lives in the most difficult time in human history. This is the age of spin. The age where nobody knows what the fuck they’re even looking at. Did you know that Planned Parenthood was for abortions? It’s for people that don’t plan things out at all. That’s right. So, a guy your age doesn’t really know how he feels. Are you pro-choice? Are you anti-consequences? What does it all really mean? It’s easier not to care for you. But for us, we were trained to care. We were raised that way.

I used to watch a fucking cartoon when I was growing up called Care Bears. It was about a fucking group of teddy-bear people. They were like teddy bears, but they were like people, and they were all different colors, and they all fucking just walked around, caring. They cared about each other and everything else. They all had different designs on their stomachs, and the designs told you something about what they might be like inside. Very, very loving group of beings. And when shit got real bad, as nice as those teddy bears were, they didn’t get mean faces. They got determined. Hmm! And the leader would say, “Come on, guys. It’s time for the Care Bear Stare!” Remember that shit? And them little teddy bears would lock arms… and stare at the problem– and I’m not even bullshitting– actual love would shoot out of their chests… and would dispel anything that was fucked up. And when we grew up, we wanted to be like those bears. And then we got our hearts broken, because we found out that life wasn’t gonna let us do that and that it’s impossible to shoot love out of your chest.

However, I have shot love onto somebody’s chest before. I do it all the time. It’s the next best thing. You kids don’t know. Your generation is just determined to be angry, mad. Everybody’s mad. Back when we were growing up, only black people were mad. Now everybody’s just trying to get in on the act. I try to think to myself, “When did everyone get mad?”