Monday 26 August 2019

PROMISE




“ In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.”







[BELL TOLLING, MAD SWEENEY GASPING] 
SHADOW MOON : 
You spend that $20 yet? 

MAD SWEENEY :
Thinking about using it now.
Don't let her near him.
Your wife.
Don't let her near Grimnir.
Grimnir's nothin' but rot.
 


SHADOW MOON : 
Why do you even care? 

MAD SWEENEY :
I warned you.
Let's just leave it at that.
 
SHADOW MOON : 
Fine.
Well, don't worry about me.
I'm good.
Wednesday even gave me his magic stick to guard, so –

MAD SWEENEY :
Gungnir.
You think you earned it.
 
SHADOW MOON : 
Mm-hmm.
 
MAD SWEENEY :
You have the All-father's favor today and it feels good.
Doesn't it? Like the sun is shining on your fuckin' face.
Like you did something to deserve it. 
Tomorrow you'll be me, Shadow.
The Dog He Kicks.
There's always a cost with him.
Just haven't paid it yet.
 
SHADOW MOON : 
Why do you let him treat you like that? 

MAD SWEENEY :
You think you're not his bitch? Hm? 
I watched you sign your life away.
Right there in front of me in Jack's Crocodile Bar.
You're His Man now.
You're his bodyguard.
And when he dies, you're the punk that's gonna have to hold his vigil.
You're fucked, man.
 
SHADOW MOON : 
Spoken like The Dog He Just Kicked.
 

MAD SWEENEY :
You remember how I did that little coin trick? Huh? 


SHADOW MOON : 
Figured you just took the coins out of nowhere.
 


MAD SWEENEY :
Not outta nowhere.
I take 'em from the Hoard.
You just have to hold it in your mind and you can take whatever you want from it.
The Sun's Treasure.
You can keep Whatever's Precious to You.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC


SHADOW MOON : 
Bring it back.
 

MAD SWEENEY :
How's it feel to lose your lucky coin? 

SHADOW MOON : 
I'm not gonna ask you again.
 

MAD SWEENEY :
You're not My Battle, Moon Shadow.
Promise me something and I promise I'll give it back.
 
SHADOW MOON : 
What do you want? 

[SHRIEKING IN THE DISTANCE] 
MAD SWEENEY :
You hear that wailing outside? 
Do you know what it means? 

SHADOW MOON : 
People get sad at a funeral home.

MAD SWEENEY :
Means Death is coming to This House.
Someone here is gonna die soon.
When the Time comes, don't get in the fucking way.
 
SHADOW MOON : 
What the fuck does that even mean? 

MAD SWEENEY :
You'll know.
[COIN TINKLING] 
Deal? 

SHADOW MOON : 
Yeah. Whatever.

MAD SWEENEY :
Wednesday — Me  — Fuck all the gods.
We're not The Heroes, Shadow.

Sponsor Love










RIKER: 
I'm sure Captain Picard would have something meaningful and inspirational to say right now. 
To tell you The Truth, I wish he were here, because I'd like to hear it too. 
I know how difficult this transition has been for all of you. 
I can take over for him, but I could never replace Captain Picard.

Nor would I ever try. 

Whatever the outcome, I'm sure our efforts in the coming battle will justify His Faith In All of Us. 

Dismissed.

[Ready room]

RIKER: (to the empty chair) 
What Would YOU Do?
(doorbell) 

RIKER: 
Come.

GUINAN: 
May I speak to you, Captain?

RIKER: 
Actually, Guinan, I —

GUINAN: 
You know, Picard and I used to talk every now and again, whenever one of us needed to. 

I guess I'm just used to having The Captain's ear. 

(She sits in Picard's chair) 

RIKER: 
What's on your mind?

GUINAN: 
I've heard a lot of people talking down in Ten Forward. 
They expect to be dead in the next day or so. 
They Trust You. 
They like you. 
But they don't believe anyone can Save Them.

RIKER: 
I'm not sure anyone can.

GUINAN: When A Man is convinced he's going to die Tomorrow, he'll probably find a way to make it happen. 

The Only One Who Can Turn is Around is YOU. 

RIKER: I'll do The Best I Can.

GUINAN: 
You're going have to do something you don't WANT to do. 
You HAVE to let go of Picard.

RIKER: 
Maybe you haven't heard. 
I tried to kill him yesterday.

GUINAN: 
You tried to kill Whatever That Is on The Borg ship — Not Picard. 

Picard is still Here with us in This Room. 

If he had died, it would be EASY. 

But he didn't. 

They took him from us a piece at a time. 

Did he ever tell you why we're so close?

RIKER: 
No.

GUINAN: 
Well, then let me just say that —

Our Relationship is 
Beyond Friendship, 
Beyond Family. 
And I WILL let him go. 

And you must do the same. 
There can only be one Captain.

RIKER: 
It's not that simple. 
This was his crew. 
He wrote The Book on this ship. 

GUINAN: 
And The Borg know everything he knows. 
It's time to throw that book away. 

You MUST let him go, Riker. 

It's the only way to beat him. The only way to Save Him. And THAT — 

Is Now Your Chair. 

Captain. 

(Riker sits) 


[Rocket hates People as such, and has developed the abrasive personality to match — but, glancing over, he sees that The God of Thunder evidently really is not up to The Fight that’s coming yet, realises that The Tree isn’t going to be the one to do it....]

Rocket Raccoon :
*sigh*
Okay — Time to Be The Captain....

The Raccon sashays over and prepares to deliver an impromptu Pep Talk to encourage a God.




THOR: 
I can't do this. I can't do this. I shouldn't be here. 
I shouldn't have come.This was a bad idea.

ROCKET: 
Come here. 
[Standing in front of him]

THOR: 
No, no, no. I think I'm having...
I'm having a panic attack. 
I shouldn't be here...this is...this is a bad-

ROCKET : 
Come here. Right here.

[Rocket slaps Thor, HARD -- ]

ROCKET : 
You think you're the only one who lost people?! 
What do you think we're doing here? 

I lost The Only Family I ever had
Quill, GrootDrax, The Chick with The Antenna, all gone

Now, I get you miss your Mom. 
But She's GONE. Really Gone. 

And there are Plenty of People, 
who are only kinda gone. 

But you can help them

So is it too much to ask that you brush the crumbs outta ya beard, 
make schmoopy talk to Pretty Pants, 
and when she's not lookin', 
suck out the Infinity Stone 
and help me get My Family back?

THOR: 
Okay.

ROCKET : 
Are you crying?

THOR: 
No...Yes!

ROCKET : 
Get it together! You can Do This. 
You can Do This. All right?

THOR: 
Yes, I can.

ROCKET: 
Good.

THOR: 
I can do this. I can do it —
I can't do this.

[Thor runs away]





Good.
It'll make this easier.


Make what easier? 


Where's Cordelia? 

Upstairs asleep.
She still feels weak.
Make what easier? 


We're gonna bring Angelus in alive.


No, we're not.

Thought you said capturing him wasn't an option.

Changed my mind.


Change it back.


We get rid of Angelus, then what? We still have a Beast we don't know how to kill.
We know it's working for something much worse, but we don't know what it is.
We're caught in the middle of a maelstrom and we can't get out without Our Champion.
We're gonna Save Angel.
And I know exactly who we need to help us do it.


FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
They told me my lawyer was here to see me.
You my lawyer now, Wes? 


Hello, Faith.
How are you? 


FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Still Alive.
Never thought I'd live to see YOU paying me a visit.


A lot's happened.

FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Whatever it is suits you.
I mean, you're looking.... good.



You know what's going on in L.
L.A. ?

FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Seen the news, sure.
Never-Ending Night, Rain of Fire —
Team Angel must really have their hands full.



You don't know the half of it.

FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
But you're here to fill in the blanks for me.
Why? 


We need you.

FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Well, I hate to wet the paper for you, Wes but I'm kind of unavailable right now.
Maybe you wanna check back in a few decades when my parole comes up.



You need to know 



It's Armageddon-Time again — I dig.
Last thing you need is me in The Mix.
Besides, Angel will come shining through in the end like he always does.


FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Angel's Gone, Faith.
Angelus is Back.




FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Step away from the glass.

[CAR ALARM GOES OFF]

You okay? - Five-by-five.
FAITH, The Vampire Slayer : 
A kid, Angel's got a kid.

WESLEY: 
Connor.
A teenage kid, born last year.


I told you, he grew up in a hell dimension.

FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Right.
And, what, Cordelia spent her last summer as? 


A divine being.

FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Uh-huh.
Can I just ask, what the hell are you people doing? 



Leading complicated lives, obviously.


FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Unleashing Angelus to help you stop this demon who put the lights out.
That's just - 

The Beast.
The demon who put out the lights, called The Beast.

FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
Gas to the flame, that's all I'm saying.
I wouldn't worry about the police coming after you.
Not yet.
With everything that's happening an escaped convict won't register on their radar.

FAITH, The Vampire Slayer :
I'm not gonna kill him, Wesley.
Angelus.
Angel's the only one in my life who's never given up on me.
There's no way —


I know —
That's why it had to be you.
I'm just wondering if you're up to it.

I Wasn’t Always Like This








The Rat of Destiny


[Screen Title: SAN FRANCISCO]

[The camera pans to San Francisco Bridge, all the way to a self-storage facility with a sign saying "U-STORE It, SELF STORAGE", with its interior filled stored stuff and junk until it spots Luis' van from "Ant-Man and the Wasp", behind a metallic fence with a label named "LANG". A rat crawls over the van's rear windshield and accidentally activates the controls for opening the Quantum Realm, haphazardly activating the Quantum Realm. The rear door busts open, flinging Lang outside the van.]

SCOTT LANG: 
[grunts as he pushes away a cushion out of his body, and deactivates the helmet, but still grunting in pain, as he sweeps away sparks from an electrical failure out of his suit, then try to stand up.] 
What the hell?

[He manages to stand up, as another electrical failure sparks out of his gauntlets, and now looks around in a confused look.]

SCOTT LANG: 
Hope?

[Inside a security office, a security guard (Ken Jeong) reading a book 



as he looks upon his security screen, seeing something going on in one of the storage facilities. In the cameras, it shows Lang in his casual clothing, shouting, waving a sign with the word "HELP" written on it.]










“A rat crawls over the van's rear windshield and accidentally activates the controls for opening the Quantum Realm, haphazardly activating the Quantum Realm.”

The LOTR wiki lists four times Eru Ilúvatar intervened in the history of Arda:

Did Eru Ilúvatar trip Gollum?

The LOTR wiki lists four times Eru Ilúvatar intervened in the history of Arda:

1 : Creating Elves and Men
2 : Removing Aman from the spherical Earth
3 : Resurrecting Gandalf
4 : Making Gollum trip

In a letter written by Tolkien, he stated that Eru again intervened, this time in the Third Age, causing Gollum to trip and fall into the fires of Mount Doom while still holding the One Ring, thus destroying it.


Is this correct? If so, what letter is this, and exactly what did Tolkien say?

Yes, as we can see on Letter #192, Eru certainly took over after Frodo was done with the assigned task.

Tolkien mentions that Frodo did take the Ring to a certain point (where no other being could) and then another power took over to decide the fate of the Ring.

“Frodo deserved all honour because he spent every drop of his power of will and body, and that was just sufficient to bring him to the destined point, and no further. Few others, possibly no others of his time, would have got so far. The Other Power then took over: the Writer of the Story (by which I do not mean myself), 'that one ever-present Person who is never absent and never named' (as one critic has said). 

See Vol. I p. 65. 2 A third (the only other) commentator on the point some months ago reviled Frodo as a scoundrel (who should have been hung and not honoured), and me too. It seems sad and strange that, in this evil time when daily people of good will are tortured, 'brainwashed', and broken, anyone could be so fiercely simpleminded and self righteous.”


Sunday 25 August 2019

How To Stop Being A Scapegoat and Being Scapegoated






How To Stop Being A Scapegoat 
and Being Scapegoated

When I say ‘scapegoat’ many of you know exactly what I’m talking about already.  For those of you that don’t, a scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others (despite other people being either entirely or also at fault) especially for reasons of expediency.  The word originates from Judaism. During mass reconciliation, a rabbi would bring a goat to the alter. The idiotic idea was that sins of the people would be absorbed into the goat, and it would then be killed.  When its blood would spill over the alter, those sins were said to be cleansed.

In a human social group, like a family, there are complex interactions that take place and roles that people end up in.  The emotional interdependence in even the most abusive and disconnected homes still makes it so that a change in one person creates reciprocal changes in every other member of the group.  In a dysfunctional social group or a dysfunctional family (and usually on a subconscious level) the strongest member of the family, the one that does not play into the dysfunction, is targeted as “the problem”.  All of the emotional and mental discomfort that is experienced by the group as a whole is deflected and projected into this person, who is expected to bear it so that the other members of the group don’t have to face that discomfort in themselves.  The subconscious goal is in fact disguised catharsis. The scapegoat is someone who is strong enough to suffer so that the other members don’t have to.  

In a family, the person who ends up in the role of the scapegoat is not actually to blame any more than the goat is.  It is that their character, thoughts, feelings, words and actions and also accomplishments causes the unresolved issues of the other family members to surface.  At which point, instead of resolving them, they deflect the unresolved issues onto that person and label them ‘the cause of their distress’.  

Here is an example: A mother doesn’t actually want a child.  But she has been led by society to believe that this is the only acceptable role for her in life.  So she has a child. This child has her own desires and needs. When the mother has to cater to the needs and desires of the child, it brings up her fury and pain and resentment that she has to dedicate herself to someone else’s needs.  It brings up the reality that she doesn’t want a child. This makes her feel shame. To avoid that wound and that shame, this mother will make the child the problem. “You’re so selfish” she will say when the child asks for something. She will be constantly exasperated and tell the story that her life ended when her daughter’s began.  She has made the problem the child and projected her own sins so to speak onto the child in order to avoid the discomfort of accepting that she does not want a child and that she is selfish in that she wants to do what she wants to do, not dedicate her life to another person’s care. This child is now the scapegoat.       

Of course it is difficult for a scapegoat in a social group to believe that he or she isn’t somehow guilty or to blame because it doesn’t make sense that if he or she wasn’t to blame that he or she would be treated that way.  The scapegoat spends years in complete confusion, searching for what is wrong with them in order to try to fix it, but can’t ever genuinely find anything that makes sense given the severity of the treatment. And no matter what they do, the behavior of the other members of the social group never seem to change towards them.  What the scapegoat doesn’t understand is that there was never any motive in the other members of the group for them to not be a problem.  That is part of the gas light.  It is actually serving the other members of the group to keep them the problem so as to avoid facing and resolving their own wounds.   

The scapegoat can pay a lifelong price for sins that he or she did not ever commit.  And because of the way that this universe functions, this pattern of being scapegoated comes back in the life of the scapegoat over and over again.  Even if they do exit the original family group, they are likely to be turned into a scapegoat again in their lives. Aside from not recognizing this entire dynamic in the first place (and thus realizing that they didn’t actually do anything wrong, they were simply the family scapegoat) there are some factors that act like emotional super glue that actually keep people who were scapegoated in this cycle of continuously being scapegoated.  And it is this emotional super glue that I am going to help you to undo today.  

The top four things that act like emotional super glue to being a scapegoat are the following:

Accepting this role was literally the only way to stay safe in the social group.  And so this is now your pattern of fitting in.
Accepting responsibility made you not like the people who hurt you.
You love people who take responsibility, you find them safe and so you do not want to entertain the idea of letting any of that responsibility go.  Plus, you are only in control if you take 100% of it. 
No one else in the social group was taking any responsibility and so you were forced to be the one to do it for all of them.  This is now a habit.
To address the first super glue, in a social group that turns you into the scapegoat, you have two options:  Conform immediately so they turn someone else into the scapegoat or suffer the wrath of being the outcast and blamed and suffer the consequences.  In some cases, for one reason or another, you cannot conform. Even when you can, you know that conforming doesn’t get you love; it simply gives you a different kind of safety in exchange for a different form of danger.  It guarantees you closeness and rapport in exchange for the loss of self. You have to completely buy into the group dysfunction and let go of your true feelings, needs, desires and anything else that could threaten to trigger their unresolved issues.  The role of the scapegoat and the role of the golden child in a social group are both not actually safe. They are simply polar opposite forms of un-safety. But, in many case, accepting the role of the scapegoat may have been the only way for someone to not end up completely alone, which is the single biggest threat to survival for a member of a socially dependent species, which is what humans are.  

The way this works is that once you accept the role of scapegoat, you begin to buy into the idea that you are the problem.  The minute you do this, you are no longer resisting them saying that you’re the problem. You’re agreeing. Due to your non-resistance to the blame you are being given and the horrible identity you are being accused of, the people making you the scapegoat are now free to switch up their game and avoid their own issues further.  They do this by seeing themselves as the healer and fixer of you. It is at this point that the scapegoat becomes the identified patient in the social group. They use the idea of themselves as a good person for focusing on helping and fixing you to further avoid their own pain. The thing is, they are creating the very pain in you that they say is your personality defect and flipping it so as to heal it.  This is disgusting when you really get it. It is one of the most insidious forms of gas lighting. Imagine I was to walk up and hit you as hard as I can and then, when you fall to the floor, get down on the floor with you and say “I just don’t know why you’re in pain all the time. It’s making all of our lives really, really hard because by being down on the floor all the time, you’re taking all the attention away from everyone.  But I love you, so I’m going to take you to a doctor to figure out why you’re in pain like this.” That is life for a scapegoat in a family unit. The vast majority of children who are brought to psychologists and psychiatrists are in fact family scapegoats in this exact situation. But the sad thing is that playing into this pattern by accepting themselves as the problem, saves the scapegoat from abandonment, annihilation and further wounding by the people in their lives.      

The problem is that because of this extreme gas-lighting, you learn to ignore the punch and only feel the connection inherent in the person trying to fix you.  Your only reference for feeling loved is when people who see you as the problem, are putting energy into helping you to get better or change or be fixed. This exchange is the safest feeling because it was the closest you could get to the people who mattered to you.  Because this is your reference for love and safety, blaming yourself, seeing yourself as the problem and having people help fix you is a pattern you repeat and repeat in order to get your emotional and even physical needs met, feel close to people and feel safe socially.  You pick people who do this to you and do not end relationships with people who do this to you.

To address the second super glue, if only at a subconscious level, you actually did see what was going on.  Too many times, especially if your strength is your mind, you have seen the truth in these interactions. For example, you know mom doesn’t really want a kid and so you see that it is her being mean to you and yet blaming you for being a ‘bad kid’ for the reaction you have to it.  And so, even when you begin to doubt your own character and actions, you know that there is extreme deflection and projection going on. To understand more about deflection and projection, watch my videos titled: Deflection (the coping mechanism from hell) and Projection (understanding the psychology of projection).

You see that them not taking responsibility for their wrong doings and badness and actual truth is destroying your life.  You clearly see that doing this makes them bad. Because of a life of being treated as if you are evil, you are on a life long quest to become good.  So, clearly seeing this ‘badness’ in them, you make a subconscious vow to never, never do to someone what they are doing to you. You make a vow to at the very least make sure that you are never, ever going to be like them in this way.  Your wires become a bit crossed. Now, your only way of being good is to seek out how you are at fault and to take the blame and blame yourself. The problem is that this is a universe based on the law of mirroring. If you do this, it makes you a match to being blamed, even when something isn’t your fault.  Thus the cycle of being scapegoated repeats.

To address the third superglue, having been so hurt by being blamed wrongly and suffered the consequences of being labeled the wrong/bad one; you have now developed a complete love affair with the characteristic of doing the opposite of what they did to you.  You LOVE people who take responsibility. This is profoundly healing for you. But this complete adoration you have for people taking responsibility and this glorification of the trait itself has caused you to adopt the trait of hyper responsibility. It has caused you to swing the pendulum completely to the far end of the scale, where you take responsibility and blame for anything and everything.  By taking 100% of the responsibility and blame, you feel superior in that goodness and also you feel in control and thus safe. If something is someone else’s responsibility or fault, you are inherently not in control. And you don’t trust them to do it. You can’t do anything to change the situation or rectify it. But if it is all in your hands, you can.  

To address the fourth superglue, because you were conditioned that no one will take responsibility, especially for their own issues, you were also conditioned to be the one to automatically do it.  It is pure habit. You do this naturally. You do not believe that anyone will take responsibility and so you believe you have no other choice but to do it yourself. You take responsibility for what is and isn’t yours to take responsibility for, thinking that there is no other option.  Take a look at your life for what might be someone else’s responsibility. Ask yourself, if I didn’t take responsibility for X what would happen?  For example, it is another person’s responsibility to come resolve an issue with you when they have one.  Ask yourself, if I didn’t take responsibility for noticing when another person has an issue with me and bringing up the issue to resolve it, what would happen?  This level of hyper responsibility for others will incapacitate you one day and guarantee that no one around you will take responsibility. You will be a magnet for people who don’t want to take responsibility. 

 I find it helpful to imagine that people in the world are a part of you.  Would you want yourself to continue not facing your unresolved issues, owning your personal truth and not taking responsibility?  If the answer is no, then don’t enable them to do that.

The bottom line is that because of the way you adapted to being the scapegoat, you are a perfect vibrational match to repeated scapegoating.  You need to look at what truly is and what truly isn’t yours in any situation. What is keeping you from doing this is that anytime you look at how something isn’t your fault, you feel like you’re headed straight towards becoming like those people who you hate because they hurt you so badly.  You think you are the good guy for taking all the blame. You can only be good for taking responsibility for what is yours. Otherwise, you have turned into an enabler. You enable people to be like those people who hurt you. You enable their dysfunction as well as pattern of deflecting and projecting and allow them to avoid the unresolved issues and pain, which means they will continue to hurt and hurt other people.

You’ve got to see that now, the consequences that you were so afraid of, like abandonment or annihilation would actually be better than being seen and treated as the bad guy forever.  There are so many consequences of being in that role. So it actually isn’t safe. It also isn’t love. First of all, they are causing the very issues they are saying are inherent to you and that they now want to help you to fix about yourself.  It isn’t because of love that people try to fix you. It is because they want to feel good about themselves so they can avoid looking at their own unresolved issues and painful authentic truths. They feed their self-concept with pieces they sacrifice from you, completely to your detriment.  They do not love you, even if they use those words.

In a universe based on the law of mirroring, people who blame themselves are blamed.  You need to see how much trouble you could get in being blamed for things you have no fault in if you are determined to blame yourself to maintain a sense of goodness.  You do not need to worry about becoming like these people who hurt you. You are more than willing to see what you did wrong and to see things that are negative about yourself.  You’ve been practicing this bravery all your life. You do need to swing the pendulum back towards what’s healthy. It is inauthentic and not in reality to adhere to one extreme like that.  The way to swing the pendulum back towards healthy is to own up to your authentic truth and own up to reality and be responsible for it.

People scapegoat when they aren’t being authentic about their personal truths, feelings, thoughts, desires and needs etc.  So, staying authentic to exactly what the brutal and honest truth of your feelings, thoughts and desires and needs are, is the best way to not become like them.  OWN your truth to not be like them, don’t blame yourself to not be like them. The time has come to learnt to discern what is yours and what is someone else’s. Chose to be in a relationship with people who take responsibility for what is theirs.  When two people each look at what is theirs, this is a healthy relationship. Being around people who take responsibility will help you to see what is and isn’t yours. It will help you to feel safe in the relationship while still changing things that don’t benefit you and expanding.  If you continue to blame yourself to stay good, you will be a magnet for people who love to get away with blaming others and never looking at themselves.

If you suffer from this pattern of being scapegoated, I have too many videos that target the mental and emotional aftermath you are experiencing to list.  But I highly suggest you watch my following videos: The Defective Doll (Dysfunctional Relationships). Responsibility, Why, When and How to Take It. How To Call Bull S#!t On Denial.  How To Let Go of a Coping Mechanism. The Hidden Truth About Dysfunctional Relationships. The Victim Control Dynamic. Why You Can’t Feel Loved For Who You Are. Self Concept, The Enemy of Awakening and Self Hate, The Most Dangerous Coping Mechanism.

As a recovering scapegoat, you’ve got to un-gaslight yourself.  Because the other members of the social group have all bought into the dysfunction, no one else in the social group is going to have the same estimation of reality that you do.  Make reality your secret obsession. Most scapegoats end up truth seeker and truth tellers because of this. Gas-lighting makes you feel and even go insane. So, restoring your sense of reality and getting grounded in it is critical.  Part of this is seeing the impact of being scapegoated on the various aspects of your life.

Get realistic expectations.  If you are genuinely being scapegoated, really see your dysfunctional family or social group accurately.  The reality is that by expecting them to accept your reality and accept the fact that things aren’t your fault and you aren’t bad/wrong, you are actually expecting them to face their unresolved issues and painful personal truths and own up to them.  Are they really going to do it? Everyone has the potential to do it, but having the potential to do it does not mean that they will choose to. For the most part, you can expect them to not change at all. And to be clear, this does not mean that you should enable it by playing into the dysfunction any more than it means you should expect that they will change.

Because of the complex trauma and anxiety that have come out of this social pattern, I highly suggest that you pick up a copy of my book titled: The Completion Process and begin to use the process to resolve the unresolved wounds that have occurred because of having been scapegoated.

If you watch my video tiled: Fragmentation, The Worldwide Disease, you will learn about fragmentation.  Know that if you are a scapegoat, you have a part or fragment within you that is scapegoating you. It is an internalized pattern.  Come to recognize and know this part of yourself deeply so that you can shift some of the patterns inherent within it.

Shame is the bedrock of the self-concept of someone who is scapegoated.  But shame is one of the most poorly understood things on the planet. The way that most experts advise people to overcome shame actually makes it worse.  Shame is a biological affective reaction that arises as a result of pushing a part of yourself away. In order to overcome shame, we need to reverse this process.  For a thorough understanding of how to do this, pick up a copy of my book titled The Anatomy Of Loneliness. Even though every page of the book will help you if you’ve been scapegoated, you can flip to the entire section of the book that is specifically about shame.

Healing from the pattern of being scapegoated is going to be a grief process, especially if you are clinging to fantasies about having better relationships with abusive people if you could only make them “get it”.  But hopefully seeing some of the main things that keep you reinforcing the pattern will help you to get yourself out of it.

Saturday 24 August 2019

The Narcissist is a Perfect Engine


The more thought I give to it, the more I find it always comes back to this Idea of Reflection.

We all see ourselves reflected in others - 

in Other People.















The Narcissist, The Borderline Personality, looks only for The Familiar, for The Recognisable, The Comfortable, Comforting and Secure.

The Unshallow Man sees all of this, sees Father

and looks still further beyond that to see 
The Differences, and finds Meaning in The Contrast.

The Edge of The World


The Edge of The World Party was filmed on 
Sept. 11th 2001


Remember, Remember The 11th of September


Thermite, Treason and Plot







"It's not The Girl, Peter, it's The Building! Something Terrible is about to enter Our World, and This Building is obviously The Door. 


The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. 

I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. 

He was also a Doctor. 

Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. 


And then in 1920, he founded a Secret Society...."