Thursday 16 May 2019

Sometimes a Suitcase is Just a Suitcase



















It’s the CIA Director (Philandros) in the front seat of the helicopter who “spots” the suitcases supposedly containing two portable nuclear bombs hanging from the flagpole of The World Trade Center —

And while the Army Bomb Disposal technician hesitates with anxiety, Philandros takes the wire cutters from him and in perfect confidence cuts first the blue wire and then the red to disarm the first “bomb”.

Philindros: 
I'll disarm the other bomb. 

Patrick Hale: 
Just in the nick of time. 

Philindros: 
Yep. 

Patrick Hale: 
Convenient. 

Philindros: 
Oh, I'd say lucky. 

Patrick Hale: 
I thought for a while, the CIA had... 
arranged the suitcases. 
Like King Awad's suicide. 

Philindros: 
Mr. Hale, we only try to do what's right. 

Patrick Hale: 
Even when it's wrong? 

Philindros: 
If it's good for America, it can't be wrong. Right? 

Patrick Hale: 
What's next? 




[Scene cuts to Oval Office] 

President Lockwood: 
War!

These atom bombs on our land
constitute an Act of War...
undeclared war, unprovoked war, started by
the bloodiest terrorist of modern history--
by Rafeeq, the Hun of Hagreb.






Terrorist Mastermind :
What War?!?
What Bombs?!?
Is He CRAZY?!?




Frank, boy.
You finally did it!
Now, you're here for one reason.
Hit 'em with all we've got!
What we got here is a war.
No matter what happens, nothing happens until it happens on television.
Right, but before you take the oil wells, remember, we're taking a three-minute commercial break!

Now, let's kick ass!

Quoth The Craven



"This is My Raven, Sam, and He's a Douche-Bag."

Raven's personality compared to Human Narcissist

Befriending Ravens

  
Pet Crows, Ravens will kill other Smaller Pets

Wednesday 15 May 2019

Kylo Ren is an Angry Bastard




"Mr. Corleone, all bastards are liars. 
Shakespeare wrote poems about it."


Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law
My services are bound. Wherefore should I
Stand in the plague of custom, and permit
The curiosity of nations to deprive me,
For that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines
Lag of a brother? Why bastard? wherefore base?
When my dimensions are as well compact,
My mind as generous, and my shape as true,
As honest madam's issue? Why brand they us
With base? with baseness? bastardy? base, base?
Who, in the lusty stealth of nature, take
More composition and fierce quality
Than doth, within a dull, stale, tired bed,
Go to the creating a whole tribe of fops,
Got 'tween asleep and wake? Well, then,
Legitimate Edgar, I must have your land:
Our father's love is to the bastard Edmund
As to the legitimate: fine word,--legitimate!
Well, my legitimate, if this letter speed,
And my invention thrive, Edmund the base
Shall top the legitimate. I grow; I prosper:
Now, gods, stand up for bastards!


Sherif Ali :
Al-Lawrence — 
Truly, for some men nothing is written unless they write it.

Kylo Ren :
Not Al-Lawrence. 
Just Lawrence.

Sherif Ali :
AI-Lawrence is better.

Kylo Ren :
True.

Sherif Ali :
Your father too, just 'Mr. Lawrence'?

Kylo Ren :
My Father is Sir Thomas Chapman.


Sherif Ali :
Is that a Lord?

Kylo Ren :
A kind of Lord.

Sherif Ali :
Then when he dies, you too will be a Lord.
            
Kylo Ren :
No.
Sherif Ali :
Ah! You have an elder brother. 
But then, I do not understand this —
Your Father's Name is ‘Chapman’.


Kylo Ren :
He didn't marry My Mother.
         

Sherif Ali :
I see.
I'm sorry.
It seems to me, that you are free to choose your own name, then.


Kylo Ren :
 Yes, I suppose I am.

Sherif Ali :
Al-Lawrence is best.


CUT TO: Michael’s office. 
Joey Zasa is in with Michael.

ZASA
The Meucci Association has elected you, their Italian-American Man of the Year.

Zasa hands Michael the award. Michael reacts to its heavy weight.

MICHAEL
Meucci -- Who’s Meucci?

ZASA
He’s the Italian-American who invented the telephone. 
He did it one year before Alexander Graham Bell.

MICHAEL
Oh… And this is the reason you’ve come to my home on this day.

ZASA (to The Ant, in Italian)

[something like "go feed the fish"]

(then, to Michael)

I umm, got a stone in my shoe, Mr. Corleone. 
A two-bit punk who works for me. The one who, thinks he’s related to you. 

A bastard.

Michael looks over to Neri.

AL NERI
He’s here. Vincent Mancini. 
He’s at the party.

MICHAEL
Well bring him in.

ZASA
I think it’s good we talk.

Zasa offers Michael a cigarette. Michael refuses and asks Zasa to sit down.

(then)

I have a problem; and I want to find out if it is my problem, or your problem.

MICHAEL
Joe, your business is your business. 
I have no interests or percentage – I’m out…

ZASA
Good. Then it’s my problem.

Vincent enters with Connie.

CONNIE
Michael, you know Vincent Mancini -- 
Sonny’s boy.

VINCENT
How you doin’ Mr. Corleone?

MICHAEL
How you doing?

VINCENT
I’m doin’ good. How you doin’?

MICHAEL
Good.

VINCENT
Good party.

MICHAEL
Oh you like it?

VINCENT
Yeah, I had to sneak in.

MICHAEL
Well, you’re dressed for it.

Vincent looks embarrassed, Zasa looks disgusted.

MICHAEL
So, what’s the trouble between you and Mr. Joe Zasa?

VINCENT
There’s trouble. 
I’ll take care of it.

MICHAEL
That’s foolish of you.

VINCENT
Foolish of ME? 
It’s a little foolish of this guy, don’t you think? Right? RIGHT?

MICHAEL (to himself)
Temper like his father.
(then, to Vincent)
Vincent. Mr. Joe Zasa now owns what used to be the Corleone family business, in New York. 
Out of the kindness of his heart he gave you a job in his family. 
Contrary to my advice, you took the job.

I’d offered you something, better, in the legitimate world. 
You turned me down. 

Now, you both come to me with this bad blood. 
And what do you expect me to do? Am I a gangster?

VINCENT
No, you’re not a gangster….

CONNIE (interrupts)
That’s was Papa’s neighborhood, now it’s a sewer. 
Zasa runs it like a disgrace that’s what the women tell me.

MICHAEL
That’s The Past Connie.

ZASA
I earned that territory with my talent. 
Commission gave it to me, and you approved…

MICHAEL
Yes.

VINCENT
Uncle Michael, I came to the party here -- 
I’m not here to ask for any kind of help. 
I could just kill this bastard, he’s the one who needs the help.

MICHAEL
So kill him. 

What has all this have to do with me?

VINCENT
Well, he’s going around behind your back saying ‘Fuck Michael Corleone’ all time. 
That’s it, see, that’s one thing it has to do with you.
(then, to Zasa)
Right? Say it to his face, one time say it to his face, one time!

ZASA
Mr. Corleone, all bastards are liars. 
Shakespeare wrote poems about it.

VINCENT
What am I gonna do with this guy, Uncle Michael? -- 
WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH THIS GUY?!

MICHAEL
Joey. If there’s some guy running around this city saying 
"Fuck Michael Corleone” —
What do we do, with a piece of shit like that? 
He’s a fucking dog, no?

ZASA (pauses, then)
Yes it’s True. 
If anyone would say such a thing, they would not be a friend. 
They would be a dog.

MICHAEL (to Vincent)
My interests don’t conflict with Mr. Joe Zasa’s…

VINCENT
Oh you don’t know how much your interests conflict with Mr. Joe Zasa’s, Uncle Michael.

CONNIE
Michael -- He needs your support, Michael.

VINCENT
Don’t let me work for this guy no more Uncle Michael, let me come work for you.

MICHAEL
For me?

VINCENT
Yeah.
MICHAEL
As what? Tough guy? 
I don’t need tough guys -- I need more lawyers.

Michael smiles at Joey who smiles back. Michael extend his arms to Joey in friendship.

MICHAEL (to Joey)
Since we have no conflicts, no debts, I accept your tribute. 
I wish you well.
Michael and Zasa embrace.

(then, to Vincent)

Vincent -- Make your peace with Mr. Joe Zasa. 
C’mon…
Vincent reluctantly goes to embrace Joey. As they do so, Joey mutters into Vincent’s ear.

ZASA (quietly to Vincent)
Bastardo.

Vincent retaliates by biting Zasa’s ear. 
The two are separated and ZASA is led bleeding and screaming from the room by The Ant.

MICHAEL
Oh, Jesus…

Vincent tries to explain himself as Connie leads him outside but Michael tells him to stay.

VINCENT (still explaining)
Uncle Michael, I told Connie it wasn’t the right time for this thing –
(then)
Uncle Michael, listen -- 
I know you’re into banks and Wall Street, but everyone knows you’re the final word, you’re like the Supreme Court.

All I want to do is protect you from these guys and your lawyers can’t do that.

MICHAEL
And you can?

VINCENT
Yeah, I can do that.

MICHAEL
And why should I be afraid of Joe Zasa?

VINCENT
Well, he knows you’re stopping him from rising up in the commission, Uncle Mike. 
I say we make him dead. 
You give me the order, I’ll take care of it.

MICHAEL
You’ll take care of it?

VINCENT
Yeah.

MICHAEL
Maybe you should, uhh, come with me for a few weeks. See what happens.

VINCENT
Okay.

MICHAEL
See if you learn. 
And, umm, we’ll talk about your future.

VINCENT
I won’t let you down.
Connie leads Vincent from the room.

CUT TO: 
The stairway where the family are getting a photo taken.

PHOTOGRAPHER
We’re just about ready .. no, it’s all right…

Vincent approaches his mother, Lucy Mancini.

LUCY
So what happened?

VINCENT
What happened? 
They put me in a room with Joey Zasa -- what’s gonna happen? 
I bit the guy’s ear off.

The photographer takes a photo. As he prepares for the next one, Michael fetches Vincent for the picture.

MICHAEL
Hold it…
(then, to Vincent)
Vincent –

VINCENT
Yeah?

MICHAEL
Take the picture with me – c’mon…
MARY (to Vincent)
Nice jacket.


The second picture is taken and the band strike up the familiar Godfather’s waltz as Enzo the baker wheels in a cake for Michael.